A/N : ( ( ( Thank you for all the reviews ( ( ( you all got a very happy writer ( ( (

A little reply to some of you. (to the others, again THANKS!!! )

Nuttyginger: hope you got the mail, and understand it now. (although telling more would be spoiling the story.)

Cordy's Angel : Lol, sorry hon, you weren't the first (but I still appreciate your effort ;o) ) And more happy news for you: as soon as I've posted this one, I'll typ out the rest of the story and mail it to you ;o) Have fun bèta-ing! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY on Friday.

Adele Elisabeth: * Aset takes the cheesescraper from Cordy and glares at Adele*

* Aset looks at Buffy and is still undecided wheter or not to free her * (well, who knows who wants to kill her off, or in case Angel comes along.)

* Aset waves and thanks Adele for the review*

Tariq: I know I kind of left them out. And I'm afraid I'm not gonna get to the B/S pairing either. Let's just say after Xander left Anya before the altar, she just ran off, and is still hiding out or so. Wes isn't in this story (sorry if you like him. I already had so many characters, and I didn't really know what to do with him.)

Aurora: I hope it will all be clear in the rest of the story ;o)

Melis: What was that about a bribe? Lol.

And again thanks to all the others who reviewed!!!!!! I really appreciate it (hint! Hint! Happy author means quicker updates.)



CHAPTER TWO



'Cordelia, Angel's a vampire.' He said

'I know, but that's. I'm not lying, Xander.'

'Then how.'

'I'm a demon, remember?' She said, a little smile though the rain of tears. It was the only reasonable explanation she could come up with. The light wasn't what Angel let keep his soul, but it was the light that had given life to his dead body, and now she was here, alone and pregnant.

He pulled her close again, whispering soothing words into her ear until her sobbing eased again.

'Angel doesn't know about this, does he?'

'No.'

'Cor.'

'I don't want him to know.'

'Why not? If he's the father.Damnit Cordy, he has to take responsibility in this!'

'No! I don't want him to love me 'cause of the babies!' she said, running of to the bathroom, locking her in.

Silence returned to the apartment. the only thing that could be heard was a soft sobbing coming from the bathroom, and the deep sighs of Xander sitting down on the couch, head in his hands.



*-*-*



*-*Cordy's POV*-*



It hurts; it hurts so badly and right now all I want to do is to die. But that's taking the easy way out. Doyle once blamed me and Angel for always wanting to do things the hard way...I guess he's been right.

Angel...Another loss in my life...Well, I haven't really lost him, not completely anyway. He's still here, with Buffy...

Another tear escapes my eye and I start crying again. I didn't know I'd have any more tears left. The hardest thing is not being left alone...I'm pregnant. Angel doesn't know it yet, and he probably won't believe me. After all, he's dead...undead...Not fertile anyway. But they're his, no doubt. Yes, twins...I can feel them, at least I think I can...hear their heartbeats, feel them move... I don't know what I must feel, nor what to think...

Xander's by my side. He knows about the babies and he's being really sweet. He said he still loves me, but I don't really know... Angel still got my heart. It's weird...I always thought it was my lighty-thing that kept Angel from loosing his soul...Maybe he never really loved me. Just pretended in need of a substitute, someone to get rid of the emptiness and loneliness. I guess he never thought of possible consequences...Consequences of our acts, of me being part-demon.

Another wave of tears... Xander, who had left me alone about an hour ago, opens the bedroom-door and comes to me, pulling me in what must be the millionth hug of this day, whispering soothing words while he gently rocks me back and forth like I was a little child... He says it's all going to be all right, but somehow I doubt it. I doubt things will ever be the same. One day I've got everything I want, then next it's all gone. Involuntarily I start to laugh. It's all so ironic...

'Déjà vu.' I mutter, wiping away the tears that still were streaming down my face. Xander gives me a little smile, not knowing what exactly I was referring to. My life...like a tape stuck in repeat-mode...got it all, lose it all, got it all, lose it all...

I can hear a nervous cough coming out of my living room and I look at Xander. I didn't really have to ask

'Will, Dawn, Giles and Connor...' he said, an apologetically look on his face. It's true, I'd almost forgotten...they'd been there too... Xander, Giles, Willow, Dawnie and Buffy of course.

I nod and get out of bed, sighing as I wipe the remaining tears from my eyes. 'I'm sorry.' I say, looking at Xander, who had put his hand on the small of my back, giving me some support. I'd forgotten how nice it is to have Xander around, although he can be a royal pain in the ass too sometimes. 'It's okay, I understand.' He says, placing a gentle kiss upon my hair before helping me into the living room where the Scoobies had gathered.



*-*-*



*-* Angel's POV*-*



It's like I'm living a dream...Buffy sleeping next to me. She seems so peaceful now, like she's just a girl, unaware of all the badness in the world, living her little fairytale, where she's a princess and I'm her knight on a white horse. I smile a little as I remember the time in Pylea, where Cordelia was a real princess, and I'd been a monster, a hero and Fred's knight...

At that time I was falling for Cordy, at least I thought I was... We got together, and it was great, but somehow I felt there was still something wrong, something was missing. Now I think I've got the answer... Buffy. She was the one I loved all along.

It's not that I don't like or love Cordy, I do! She's a wonderful person, but all the time I've been fooling myself, and her, pretending she was the only one, that she was THE one. She was just a substitute.

I can't sleep. All I do is stare at the woman lying next to me, hear her rhythmic heartbeat, her breathing. Occasionally I remove the strands of hair that have fallen in her face and she shifts a bit. Although I've got everything I want now, I cannot help but worry. I've got this feeling something's wrong... With Cordy.

Maybe I'm just feeling guilty, I don't know, but it's like she's holding something from me... I know I hurt her badly, but then again, I guess I've never been honest to her, and we would've broken up anyway, leaving us both miserable and alone. Now I've got Buffy, and Xander's with her now, making sure she's okay. Dawn and Connor seem to be getting along just fine too. And Connor doesn't really make much trouble about me and Buffy being together... luckily. Or maybe he just doesn't realise it yet.

I know he likes Cordy, she's like a mother to him after all, but he understands. I smile as I touch Buffy's cheek, feeling her waking up.

As soon as I look into those beautiful eyes, a brighter smile plays across my lips. 'Hey.' I say before placing a soft kiss upon her nose.

She yawns, then pulls me into a little hug, and so we lay here, no words needed. Just being close to each other makes this moment just wonderful.



*-*-*



*-* Giles' POV *-*



I can hear her sobbing coming from out of her room, desperate cries. Xander gets up and rushes to her side, trying to comfort her. He'd told us how she felt about Angel, and even though she wasn't really my favourite student and Miss Tact at High School, I feel sorry for her. A broken heart is something you don't even wish your worst enemy...

As silence fell between us, and we can hear the sobbing ease as Xander's whispering voice continued. I clear my throat. Almost immediately I can see Dawn and Willow glancing in my direction, their eyes telling me to keep quiet, giving them some more time...

I wonder if that's the way... Xander does still love Cordelia, and I know he's never stopped loving her, but I don't think Cordelia needs a new love now... Just friends.

They enter the living room, Xander's hand resting supportively behind her back. She smiles, but her eyes are still red, and filled with tears. She's still hurting, but at the same time she seems to be doing okay. A calm serenity was to be read in her eyes, serenity and pain.

I can feel unease grow until Connor gets up and hugs Cordelia. It's still strange, Connor being Angel's son. Wesley had informed us briefly, and to be honest it was weird to say the least. 'Hey sweetie.' Cordelia says as she hugs him back.

'You won't leave us, right? You'll come back to us?' the boy asks, looking expectantly at her.

'Connor...' she lets out a sigh as she lovingly caresses his cheek, 'You'll never lose me...I'll always be here for you.'

'But you and dad...' he says, not really wanting to understand.

'Me and Angel broke up, but that doesn't mean I don't love you guys anymore!'

I can see she's fighting back tears.

'I love you too, mom!' Connor says, hugging Cordelia once more.

'Aw. I love you too, sweetheart... And I'll always be here for you, no matter what!'

A single tear rolls down her cheek, but I can see more threaten to fall. She cares for the boy, no doubt there. If you would've asked me four years ago if I thought Cordelia Chase was capable of loving someone else besides herself, I would've doubt that seriously. I even doubted that when she and Xander were dating.

She's changed, a lot. And now I don't only mean her dressing, and her hair due. And I'm not talking about her being Angel's seer, but just her in general...She's grown so much, and matured since she left us and Sunnydale behind... maybe he just had too...

After some seconds they break free from the embrace, and Cordelia comes around to greet us all.

I look at Willow, and she smiles. No doubt Cordelia and Angel have heard what has happened to her... And to Tara. But I'm glad she's doing all right again, and that the others have accepted her again. After hugging Dawn and Willow she turns to me, a warm smile on her face. Even though her heart is bleeding, she's smiling, happy to see us all. When I hug her, pressing her close to me, trying to give some comfort, I can feel she had put on some weight... no that's ridiculous...But I can feel it...a little bump... No, that's impossible!

'Hi Giles.' she says, looking up.

'Hey.' I say, 'How are you feeling?'

She let out a deep sigh, and pain is etched on her beautiful face, 'I'll survive.'

Yes, she's strong.

We all sit down again as Dennis brings us some drinks...A coke for Dawn, Willow and Xander, some water for Cordelia and tea for me. He's a nice ghost...

We start talking, about general things mostly. There are just so many things we have to avoid talking about. Angel.Tara.

I watch her, there she sits by Xander's side, occasionally smiling and saying something. I don't think the others notice, or even that she notice it. her hand which rests on her belly, a little smile covering her face, a little light in her eyes. The joy of becoming a mother, carrying such a precious gifts, a secret only she knows about.

She looks up and our eyes meet. Somehow, the look in her eyes is telling me she knows.and I give her a smile. She answers it, weakly, and again I feel sorry for her, even though I didn't really know what was going on, nor how she got pregnant.



*-*-*