I saw you today, beaming at the Davies boy. You seemed so happy, so content with him. Your life must be perfect without me to hold you back.
You're smiling now, chastely holding hands with him, as I silently sob into my own, now empty, palms. Not long ago, my hand was the one in yours, fingers interlaced.
It seems like ages now, but only a year ago, your hand would trace idly down my back, drawing circles, and though I did not immediately notice it, words. "Love," "mine," and "always" seemed to be your favorites.
We wouldn't say a word; one touch could convey it all. Kisses meant "I love you," hugs meant "I'll always be there for you" and all was well in our little world.
In our little world, we could build a life together, spending every last moment in each other's presence without the fear of what everyone else might think.
With each day, our world expanded, and soon it wasn't so little at all. I soon thought you'd be mine forever. After all, what's a fairy tale world with out a beautiful princess?
Even as I built our castle in the sky, you dug the moat. Our world had to be separate, contained, and most of all a secret, kept from prying eyes. In public, we were barely even friends, more "roommates of circumstance." In private, we were lovers. In my heart, you were God, and I was nothing.
You wouldn't even hold my hand if anyone could see you. It crossed a line, destroying your precious reputation. Only with the doors locked shut, and the windows shuttered tight, would you be mine. But as soon as daylight glinted off your naked form, we'd be roommates again. I would go back to my bedroom, lying on the crisp white sheets, thinking only of you.
The pressure got to you, I suppose. Your love for me was crushed by the weight of societal oppression. Or maybe you never loved me at all. You left me for him, and a part of me died.
Our castle in the sky crumbled, the whole world raining down on me, each tiny pebble hitting my back with excruciating force, knocking me to the ground, daring me to give up. And yet I have not lost hope.
Even as the very pillars of heaven toppled, I held onto hope. Foolish hope get me through the day, without it I would never make it. Even still, I lie awake at night, thinking about anything and everything but you, trying to get you out of my mind in vain, I dream of you now more than ever.
I dreamt of you again last night. You were next to me, lying on my bed with your head on my stomach. Loosely, you held me. I saw you, I felt you, I smelled you, I tasted your lips, kisses as sweet as summer rain. It made me so happy just to see you once more. I cried when I woke up, not wanting to leave paradise.
Paradise is lost, the angels have fallen, the pillars of heaven have toppled, and my angel has turned in her halo, forsaking it and me for a wedding band. I still love you Fleur, and always will. True love is immortal, even if I am not.
