Alright, after three people asked me to do a sequel to Heero's Laptop, I decided to humor you guys. So it's a few months after the fact, ask me if I care. This is in script form because I can. Warning: shounen-ai and limes. Disclaimer: DAMMIT I DON'T OWN THEM!!!! ARE YOU FUCKING SADISTS HAPPY NOW!!! *blinks* Oops, sorry ^_^'
Narrator: Heero is running in fear of his life. Why, you ask? Well, you would be too if Wufei was chasing you with his katana and swearing in Chinese. Why is Wufei doing this? Well, you know Wufei, he doesn't ever really need a reason for the things he does...
Wufei: *pauses momentarily to yell at the narrator* Weak baka! You will explain the real reason instantly! *starts at him with the katana*
Heero: *takes a breather behind a couch*
Narrator: Eep! Sorry! *waves white flag*
Wufei: *ignores white flag*
Narrator: *screams frantically* Cue flashback before he kills me!
Blue Seeress: Ask nicely. *files nails*
Narrator: *looks with apprehension at the katana at his chest and gulps* Will the almighty first Seeress, the most beautiful Blue One, consent to spare the life of her humble slave, who is most unworthy, from the fate of being skewered by this unholy blasphemer-
Wufei: *jabs him*
Narrator: YOUCH! Fine, this vicious warrior by deigning to commence the perfect flashback she herself created?
Blue Seeress: Hmmm...
Wufei: *drives katana a little deeper*
Narrator: PLEEEAAAASE?
Blue Seeress: Oh alright. *cues flashback*
!!...FLASHBACK...!!
(Fade in on Wufei and Duo's bedroom. They are lying around after having done...things. A sesame oil bottle stands on the bedside table, as well as a tub of Vaseline and a...box.)
Duo: Aisheturu, Wu-chan.
Wufei: Wo ai ni. *looks up at the ceiling and notices a blinking red light* Duo, do you know what that is?
Duo: *also looks up, and recognizes it as the Hee-cam, stiffens in fear* Um...probably the smoke detector.
Wufei: No, the smoke detector is over there. *points*
Duo: Oh. Well, then I don't know what it is.
Wufei: I'll check it out. *gets up*
Duo: *breaks out in a sweat*
Wufei: It's a video camera! How did a fucking camera get in here?
Duo: Heero put it in here.
Wufei: WHAT!!!?
Duo: *curses his big mouth* Uh, I mean...
Wufei: YUY!! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!! *grabs katana and runs in the direction of Heero's apartment*
Duo: Oh shit.
!!...END FLASHBACK...!!
Blue Seeress: Now you know.
Narrator: Wufei has mercifully left me alone and has returned to chasing Heero. Heero doesn't look like he's going to last long...
Heero: Zakkenayo! I can run for as long as he can!
Wufei: Omae o Korosu!
Heero: That's my line!
Wufei: Go to Hell, Yuy! The great Nataku will take vengence on you for your injustice!
Heero: What injustice!?
Wufei: That !@#$%^&* camera!
Heero: Kuso! How did you..
Wufei: Duo told me.
Heero: ARRRGH! DUO O KOROSU!!
Wufei: Not if I kill you first! Stay away from my koi!
Blue Seeress: Wufei, have you noticed that you're still not wearing anything and you're covered in sesame oil?
Wufei: *stops dead and blushes*
Narrator: My virgin eyes!
Wufei: *runs to get some clothes*
Heero: *tries to laugh, but is too out of breath* Funny that no one noticed til you brought it up, See.
Blue Seeress: *holds up *keyboard** It's maaaagic. *types a few things*
Wufei: *appears tied to a chair, wearing white pants*
Duo: *appears, notices Wufei* Hold on! No one ties Wufei to a chair but me!
All but Duo: *sweatdrop*
Blue Seeress: Too much fucking information....
Narrator: My virgin ears!
Heero: Is there anything about you that isn't a virgin?
Narrator: *blinks, then smiles at Heero* Are you volunteering?
Heero: AAAAAHHHH!! I'M STRAIGHT, DAMMIT!
Narrator: How you doing?
Heero: *pulls out guns and shoots Narrator*
Narrator: *dies*
Blue Seeress: ARGH! Not killing! *ressurects Narrator*
Narrator: Owww....
Duo: *gets bored, sits on Wufei's lap*
Wufei: *smiles*
Heero: Get a room.
Blue Seeress: Not yet, we have to pacify everyone. I don't want the slaughter to restart as soon as I leave. Please welcome...Jerry Springer!
Narrator: *turns into Jerry Springer*
Jerry: Wufei, do you know that Heero has been sleeping with Duo? And Duo, Heero has been cheating on you with the narrator! Wufei, is it true that you use your katana as a sex toy?
Blue Seeress: Ok, never mind.
Jerry: *turns back into the narrator*
Wufei: *strains against ropes tying him to chair*
Duo: Springer was really full of it.
Blue Seeress: *looks at watch* I'm running out of time here, people. Wufei, what would keep you from killing Heero?
Wufei: *considers* I guess if he took down the camera...
Duo: And got rid of the files...
Heero: But..but, I need the hentai!
Blue Seeress: *makes an X-rated female porn star prostitute appear*
Heero: Alright, I lied, I'm not really straight.
Porn Star: *pouts, disapears*
Blue Seeress: *turns narrator into sexy male model* Happy?
Heero: *nods, scampers off with ex-narrator*
Blue Seeress: *makes video camera disapear, too*
Wufei: *stares*
Duo: *drags still-tied up Wufei into their apartment*
Blue Seeress: *hears disturbing noises from all sides* Alrighty then. Review, please? *disapears*
Narrator: Heero is running in fear of his life. Why, you ask? Well, you would be too if Wufei was chasing you with his katana and swearing in Chinese. Why is Wufei doing this? Well, you know Wufei, he doesn't ever really need a reason for the things he does...
Wufei: *pauses momentarily to yell at the narrator* Weak baka! You will explain the real reason instantly! *starts at him with the katana*
Heero: *takes a breather behind a couch*
Narrator: Eep! Sorry! *waves white flag*
Wufei: *ignores white flag*
Narrator: *screams frantically* Cue flashback before he kills me!
Blue Seeress: Ask nicely. *files nails*
Narrator: *looks with apprehension at the katana at his chest and gulps* Will the almighty first Seeress, the most beautiful Blue One, consent to spare the life of her humble slave, who is most unworthy, from the fate of being skewered by this unholy blasphemer-
Wufei: *jabs him*
Narrator: YOUCH! Fine, this vicious warrior by deigning to commence the perfect flashback she herself created?
Blue Seeress: Hmmm...
Wufei: *drives katana a little deeper*
Narrator: PLEEEAAAASE?
Blue Seeress: Oh alright. *cues flashback*
!!...FLASHBACK...!!
(Fade in on Wufei and Duo's bedroom. They are lying around after having done...things. A sesame oil bottle stands on the bedside table, as well as a tub of Vaseline and a...box.)
Duo: Aisheturu, Wu-chan.
Wufei: Wo ai ni. *looks up at the ceiling and notices a blinking red light* Duo, do you know what that is?
Duo: *also looks up, and recognizes it as the Hee-cam, stiffens in fear* Um...probably the smoke detector.
Wufei: No, the smoke detector is over there. *points*
Duo: Oh. Well, then I don't know what it is.
Wufei: I'll check it out. *gets up*
Duo: *breaks out in a sweat*
Wufei: It's a video camera! How did a fucking camera get in here?
Duo: Heero put it in here.
Wufei: WHAT!!!?
Duo: *curses his big mouth* Uh, I mean...
Wufei: YUY!! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!! *grabs katana and runs in the direction of Heero's apartment*
Duo: Oh shit.
!!...END FLASHBACK...!!
Blue Seeress: Now you know.
Narrator: Wufei has mercifully left me alone and has returned to chasing Heero. Heero doesn't look like he's going to last long...
Heero: Zakkenayo! I can run for as long as he can!
Wufei: Omae o Korosu!
Heero: That's my line!
Wufei: Go to Hell, Yuy! The great Nataku will take vengence on you for your injustice!
Heero: What injustice!?
Wufei: That !@#$%^&* camera!
Heero: Kuso! How did you..
Wufei: Duo told me.
Heero: ARRRGH! DUO O KOROSU!!
Wufei: Not if I kill you first! Stay away from my koi!
Blue Seeress: Wufei, have you noticed that you're still not wearing anything and you're covered in sesame oil?
Wufei: *stops dead and blushes*
Narrator: My virgin eyes!
Wufei: *runs to get some clothes*
Heero: *tries to laugh, but is too out of breath* Funny that no one noticed til you brought it up, See.
Blue Seeress: *holds up *keyboard** It's maaaagic. *types a few things*
Wufei: *appears tied to a chair, wearing white pants*
Duo: *appears, notices Wufei* Hold on! No one ties Wufei to a chair but me!
All but Duo: *sweatdrop*
Blue Seeress: Too much fucking information....
Narrator: My virgin ears!
Heero: Is there anything about you that isn't a virgin?
Narrator: *blinks, then smiles at Heero* Are you volunteering?
Heero: AAAAAHHHH!! I'M STRAIGHT, DAMMIT!
Narrator: How you doing?
Heero: *pulls out guns and shoots Narrator*
Narrator: *dies*
Blue Seeress: ARGH! Not killing! *ressurects Narrator*
Narrator: Owww....
Duo: *gets bored, sits on Wufei's lap*
Wufei: *smiles*
Heero: Get a room.
Blue Seeress: Not yet, we have to pacify everyone. I don't want the slaughter to restart as soon as I leave. Please welcome...Jerry Springer!
Narrator: *turns into Jerry Springer*
Jerry: Wufei, do you know that Heero has been sleeping with Duo? And Duo, Heero has been cheating on you with the narrator! Wufei, is it true that you use your katana as a sex toy?
Blue Seeress: Ok, never mind.
Jerry: *turns back into the narrator*
Wufei: *strains against ropes tying him to chair*
Duo: Springer was really full of it.
Blue Seeress: *looks at watch* I'm running out of time here, people. Wufei, what would keep you from killing Heero?
Wufei: *considers* I guess if he took down the camera...
Duo: And got rid of the files...
Heero: But..but, I need the hentai!
Blue Seeress: *makes an X-rated female porn star prostitute appear*
Heero: Alright, I lied, I'm not really straight.
Porn Star: *pouts, disapears*
Blue Seeress: *turns narrator into sexy male model* Happy?
Heero: *nods, scampers off with ex-narrator*
Blue Seeress: *makes video camera disapear, too*
Wufei: *stares*
Duo: *drags still-tied up Wufei into their apartment*
Blue Seeress: *hears disturbing noises from all sides* Alrighty then. Review, please? *disapears*
