Title: Divided
Author: SisterPet
Pairing: C&T
Rating: R!
Disclaimer: I don't own them
Part 3
Never, even with Tom, had she lost herself so completely to another. Never had she surrendered everything. Chakotay knew now why he had never let his feelings for her loose, never delving into them. She was his soul mate. Somewhere deep in his soul he had known that, recognised it and instinctively realised the danger she was to him. It was written in his tribe that, like the wolf that was his guide, once he found his mate there would never be another. She was all. She was everything. She was forever. Carefully he released her hands and rose off her to his feet. B'Elanna rose too, still to stunned to make sense of the conflicting emotions raging inside her. Her loyalty to Tom warring with her new found feelings for Chakotay. Feelings that she had thought long gone.
"I'm sorry… I…" words failed him and he shrugged helplessly.
B'Elanna shook her head, raising her hand as if to ward off the words.
"Lets pretend that never happened." She whispered.
"I can't do that B'Elanna. It did happen, we both know it was more than just a kiss." He said softly.
She stepped back away from him, as if putting some distance between them would make the feelings stop.
"I can't deal with this now, it's too much. I love Tom. I'll admit, once I thought there was something between us, but it never happened. It took me a long time to come to terms with that, to accept that we were friends, nothing more. I can't… I wont let one kiss change that." She hissed, paced away then returned, punctuating each word with her hands flaying the air.
"We were always more than just friends B'Elanna, you know that. Neither of us chose to admit it, we buried it, now its come out and this time I won't hold it back. I am through hiding. Deal with it!"
Not waiting for her reply he turned and disappeared into the shuttle.
It was hours later before she had gathered herself together enough to follow him in. He was lying under the console, parts and pieces strewn around. All she could see of him was a pair of muscular legs and, by the sound of the stream of colourful curses coming from that area, he was fighting with something under there. It always amazed her that a man with so much patience and wisdom in other things could be undone by inanimate machinery. Most women had the good sense to know that, when a man was this riled it was a good time to back off and leave him to work it out. B'Elanna was not most women.
"What the hell are you doing to my shuttle?" She shouted, kicking the thigh closest to her.
Chakotay shot out like a rocket, heavy instrument in hand. To give him credit, he only thought briefly about hurling it at her.
"Trying to take out the shield reactors. If we can get them in place around the village, we might just have an edge when the next attack comes. And it's not your shuttle."
"You're destroying our only chance to get back!" She cried.
Chakotay rose to face her, dropping the tool.
"The shuttle is too badly damaged, even if we could repair it we do not have any fuel left to take off. We don't have the recourses to refine the dilithium. The warp coil is destroyed and thrusts are crushed. There is no way of fixing it. Don't you think its time you accepted that?"
B'Elanna shook her head, hands raised to hold off his flow of words.
"What about the Borg? They must have come here on a ship. We could use that to get home."
Chakotay sighed. Taking her arm he started leading her to the bunk, urging her to sit before sitting opposite her.
"I followed them back to their camp. There are two smashed Borg cubes over that mountain range. I doubt either of them will be able to fly. They are in about 2 million pieces. If, by some chance, we did manage to get past the 50 odd killer drones in that camp, it would do us no good. They obviously don't even have the power to regenerate in those ships."
"How could you know that?" She argued, trying desperately not to believe him.
"They are attacking the village for fuel. I took a quick look on the way back, these people are using dilithium for their fuel. Its raw and unrefined, they are using it to regenerate. Their refinery is crude and obviously not too good because the stuff is poisoning them and destroying their biological parts."
"That's why the are almost completely mechanical now, their nanoprobes are simply taking over the body parts that are dying off and its affecting their function. They are not assimilating because they can't." B'Elanna sighed, slumping back.
She had held onto the tiny spark of hope that they might, by some miracle, get off the planet. But she knew now, it was useless. A small quiver of relief spurted inside her, but she refused to acknowledge it. She was not ready to analyse it, though it was something she did at odd moments in the days that followed. She was seeing her relationship with Tom in a new light, and it was becoming slowly clear to her that though she had cared for him, it had not been the deep everlasting love that she had thought it was. Her relationship with Chakotay, though changed, was still a terrifying mystery. One that she refused to delve into. His touch, once so impersonal, now seemed like a caress. A hand on her arm to draw her attention would bring a shiver under her skin.
B'Elanna was in one of her pensive moods. Chakotay had gotten to know most of them over the last two days since their confrontation. He was so attuned to her that even a slight change became known to him almost instantly. Neither of them had made any more mention of what had happened, but he knew she thought about it often. Right now she was sitting under the tree, taking a break from their work in the village. They had moved most of their things there but the major work of stripping and salvaging was still done here since it was easier. The villagers, although wonderfully helpful and willing, were sometimes a little over zealous and it was better that the more delicate work was done away from them. Her beauty stunned him. The sunbeam that broke through the thick foliage enfolded her, bringing out the auburn fire in her hair. She had let it grow and it flowed around her in a fiery silken cloud. Years ago, when they first met, the idea of starting a relationship with her was both appealing and scary to him. Self-preservation had kicked in and he pushed his feelings as deep down inside him as to be almost gone. Now, those feelings and needs were becoming harder and harder to control. At night visions of her haunted his dreams, leaving him sweating and aching.
"Tell me about you and the Captain:" She asked him quietly.
Chakotay lowered the power conduit he was working on and crossed over to sit beside her.
"Why? It has nothing to do with us, here or now."
"I just want to know. I need to understand you."
With a sigh he settled himself back against the tree, taking her hand in his. Touching her was becoming as vital to him as breathing.
"There is not much to tell. I worshipped her. Thinking back it seems almost as if that was all it was. The moment I laid eyes on her something clicked. I was bowled over. She was so tiny, so daintily feminine but unbelievably strong and sure, with an aura of command it was mind-boggling. All I wanted to do was protect her. Serve her. In any way I could. As time went by, I could sense that her feelings for me were also more than Captain to First officer. She was attracted but did not want to be. She was still in love with Mark, but I doubt their relationship was very physical. He is a lot older than her for one thing and being an intellectual all her life, she was very good at squashing the fiery part of her nature. She must have learned long ago to bury those passions in some deep dark part of herself. I seemed to draw them out of her and it made her uncomfortable, though I sometimes sensed they excited her too. The closer I got though the harder she fought. On New Earth she was very close to letting go, but we were rescued before anything could happen. There were many times over the last few years since then, that I was convinced I had imagined it all. She was pulling further and further away from me. But there were moments when I would catch her looking at me with such hunger…" He sighed, shaking his head.
"You still have feelings for her. I can see that." She accused, not admitting to the jealousy that flared up.
"Of course I still have feelings for her B'Elanna. I can't suddenly turn them off and I sure as hell don't expect you to either."
"Then how can you suddenly have feelings for me?" She demanded, snatching her hand away.
"I have always wanted you, but it scared the hell out of me. What I have with Kathryn is tame compared to that. I am not going to bullshit you. I respected the Captain, I cared for the friend and yes, I wanted the woman. There have been many women that I have wanted and had. She was the one that held out the longest. Maybe that was it. If I had had her, maybe things would have changed for me. I will never know as we never got that far."
"B'Elanna, I know you are having trouble letting go of your feelings for Tom. I don't expect you to forget him or to stop caring for him. Those things are a part of you, but you have to work through them. I will wait as long as it takes. What we have will keep until you are ready for it."
B'Elanna closed her eyes forcing back the tears that threatened to choke her.
"I loved him. God I really loved that man. I don't want to feel anything for anyone except him. It seems so wrong, but I do, and I can't stop it.' With a gasp she broke, sobs wracking her body.
Chakotay picked her up and set her on his lap. She cried hard, every sob torn from her. He could do nothing for her, except hold her, murmuring silly nonsense words in her ear while she drenched his shirt. Her voice cracked and hoarse, yet still she cried. Like everything, she did this with her whole heart and soul.
Finally, the storm subsided and she started talking. Hesitantly at first, every word cut from her heart. She spoke of her father, her mother and Tom. Reliving every moment with him and in that way, while he listened, she grieved and said goodbye.
Over the next few days they worked steadily with the villagers. Digging the trench and cutting the logs that, with the special cement these people made from the grinded up rock in their underground caverns, would make a solid almost impenetrable wall. York and his people were wonderfully friendly and they had a very advanced intelligence, though they were still in the early stages of their development. They had leant to refine fuel into energy for lighting and heat but it was very crude. They were also very nature conservative, taking only what the earth gave up freely. No mines of any kind. From stories and legends, it seems that they came to be on this planet the same way as Chakotay and B'Elanna. Their people came from a Starship that had crashed on this planet centuries ago. The survivors had been no more than children and had reverted to near Stone Age to survive. As the generations passed, the old ways were forgotten or only remembered in stories.
Chakotay, with a few of the strongest men, was in the forest cutting the trees. Each would be stripped of its branches and cut to a point before they were laid side by side on the ground, ready to be lowered into place. It was a slow painstaking process. Every tree had to be replaced with a sapling that was grown by the villagers for that specific purpose. They used logs to build their homes and had long ago started a nursery to replace every tree they used.
Alone after the days work was done, B'Elanna and Chakotay stripped the shuttle. Every single part was moved to the village, until there was only an empty hull left in the forest. They had their own small cabin in the village, built out of a combination of logs, cement and shuttle parts. It even had a sonic shower. They had managed to link up some of the power conduits to the energy supply generator that the villagers used and, with a lot of inventive engineering, had gotten the shield reactors and a replicator working. Although, without the main computer uplink its own small inner computer was limited in what it could produce.
The fiery tension between them was almost unbearable at times. They managed, at least on the surface, to fall back into their earlier friendship.
Chakotay kept regular watch groups at key locations around the clock, in case the Borg returned. It took a further two weeks before all the logs were in place and ready to be raised and cemented together. B'Elanna was setting up the last of the shield modulators around the outer wall parameters. The heat and humidity made working for long periods of time impossible, even for her Klingon metabolism. She blinked as drops of sweat ran into her eyes, moving over to the shade of the forest, she found a tree and flopped down with a sigh, wiping her sopping brow. The flask of cool water was a relief as she poured it over her head. She was glad Chakotay was too busy to notice that she had once again disobeyed one of his orders. He had insisted that, for the sake of their health, no one would work in the sun for longer than 30 minutes at a time before taking a minimum of 10 minute break in the shade. She had been out there for over 3 hours. Guiltily she looked around to where he was working. A purely feminine purr of appreciation rumbling in her throat at the gleaming muscles of the men at work as they sweated and heaved the heavy logs upright into the trench. Yet, even amongst all those fit young bodies, Chakotay stood out, his dark bronze torso rippled with power. She was struck by the pure unadulterated sensuality this man carried around with him like a cloak. He was a head taller than the biggest among them and his dark husky looks a direct contrast to their blond beauty. He moved like a jungle cat, strong, sleek, and deadly. She watched him stroll alone deeper into the forest, and getting up without even realising what she was doing, she followed him.
She had never seen him stripped and realised that while in uniform he looked proud and commanding, it hid the absolute power of him. The man under that uniform was pure Indian warrior. Centuries of persecution had not tamed their proud spirit and, looking at him, she now knew why, if his ancestors were anything like him.
Deep in her body something flared to life. The more she looked the more she wanted. The growl, low and deep, reverberated out her throat.
Chakotay felt her behind him. Some sixth sense whispered her feelings to him. The low growl was the only other warning he got. He swung around as she barrelled into him, carrying them both tumbling to the ground, he landed on the soft moss with her on top of him.
"B'Elanna…"
Whatever he was about to say was lost as the breath closed up his throat. In one blinding white hot flash all his senses were lost and the blood flowed out of his head. He lay there with her astride him, gazing at the sheer beauty of this powerful woman. For one instance in time she encompassed everything that was woman – strength, power, innocence, sensuality. Almost of their own accord, his hands ran up her thighs over her torso and engulfed her breasts. For a small woman she was very fully built. She felt him hardening under her as his body responded. The tips of her breasts pressed against his palm, fingers probing he found the edge of her shirt. Driven by desire, burning with passion, in one mindless reaction he tore it, ripping it open to expose her to his hungry gaze. With the lightest of touches, he ran the tips of his fingers around the golden globes, spiralling closer and closer to the burning tip, while she rose over him eyes closed head thrown back, moans of pleasure rumbling from her throat. Her hips undulated against him, tearing away the last of his control. Lunging up, his mouth fastened on her breast, rolling the puckered tip between his teeth. B'Elanna cried out, burying her hands in his hair she held him to her, frantically pressing herself against his iron hardness. His hands dropped to the waist of her trousers and they followed the shirt, torn off her in a frenzy of unbelievable strength and need. His fingers delved down into her soft centre pushing into her as she exploded and flowed into his hand.
Madness overtook him and in one move their positions were reversed. Still stunned in the aftermath she lay under him, her body throbbing. With hands tongue and teeth he ruthlessly drove her over again and again until she was screaming, mindlessly writhing under him, begging demanding and whimpering. She felt sure she would die from the pleasure yet he showed her that there was more. Lifting her hips he entered her slowly, filling her agonisingly. When she tried with teeth and hands to urge him deeper faster he pinned her arms above her head. The effort to control himself cost him as the need to bury himself hard and deep clawed at him with razor talons. Yet still he moved slowly, filling her inch by pulsating inch. Insane with need, her body shuddered and peaked. With every move he made, daggers of pleasure drove through her until she ached with the need for him to fill her. No longer able to take the exquisite torture, she lifted her legs and wrapped them around him, impaling herself on him she sheathed him to the hilt. He filled her to bursting as pleasure tore the last thread of control and he erupted mindlessly driving himself into her with a force and violence that rocked her over the next crest. Giving her no chance to come down from that, he drove her up further until in unison they exploded into a world of dark secrets and wicked pleasure.
To be continued…….
