"A Paper…" - Ch. 2:

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Helen's House

It was 8:15 PM. At the MH Lutheran Church, youth group normally started at 9:00 PM on Mondays. Helen was growing more impatient for Naelia's call by the minute, pacing back and forth about the house. She gritted her teeth then snatched the phone off of the receiver. She dialed quickly and waited impatiently, tapping her foot. One ring… two rings… three rings… four… She growled, ready to hang up, and just then someone picked up on the other end.

"Hello?" The voice said.

"Oh, uh. Hello. Naelia's mom? This is Helen. Is Naelia home by chance?" She said in her sweetest voice.

There was a pause. "Yeah, is this Helen?"

"Mmhm."

"Hold on. Nae'! Phooonnneee!" The loud voice rang through the phone, seeming to pierce the air with an annoying noise. Helen immediately held the phone away from her ear. There was a click and a pause where only a steady, soft breathing could be heard.

"Got iiitttt!" Naelia shouted up to her mother, also sending a loud buzzing noise through the phone.

Helen held it away again. She brought it back to her ear after a few seconds. "Geez! Hello? Naelia?"

"Yeah? Who's this?" She sounded puzzled.

Helen narrowed her eyes. "Oh, no one. Just your ride to church! My dad's getting impatient. Be waiting, okay?"

"Shit, already?" There was a pause. "Shit…"

"Don't worry. It'll be fun! See you in a few minutes." She slammed the phone down before Naelia could sputter some excuse or something to not go. She always did that. Even when she just wanted to hang out on a friendly occasion.

Helen ran back to the living room. "Dad, we can go now."

"About time." He said, sounding more than moody. "Go get in the car. I'll be out in a minute."

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Naelia's House

"You're going to church!?" Naelia's mom practically screamed. "Finally, how long has it been?"

"A year, mom." Naelia said, annoyed.

Her mom got her coat for her and threw it over her. "Maybe you should wear something nicer. This is so exciting!"

Naelia was silent for a moment. "You're acting weird."

"One year… You haven't lost faith yet, have you?

Naelia turned and pulled the door open, letting the cool winter air into the house. She made a little face and lied, flat out. "Hardly."

"Good."

I could never tell my mother the way I feel towards God. I've felt this way ever since Dad died and a girl named Christy purposely set out to make my life a living hell.

People always tell stories of how God saved them from a worse life. I find it somewhat ironic that my life was much better before I got involved with the MH Church and God. It's as if that were the trigger to the gun facing my happiness.

Coincidentally, my dad died when I was at last year's MH Lutheran Church retreat. I didn't blame God or religion because a woman at the retreat told me that if I lost faith, things would only get worse. So I didn't lose faith. I thought I'd become stronger. Then came the spider, Christy. She and I were friends since 8th grade, but one day, I'm not sure what I did to deserve this, she told all of her friends that I was a maniacal bitch. She took away my crush just so she could use him for his money, and publicly humiliated me by telling him the biggest secret I'd ever shared with her.

I prayed and prayed for all the hurt to just go away. I sliced myself, trying to kill myself. I think I died for a moment. You've heard it before – when people die, they see that light which is supposedly heaven at the other end of the tunnel. Well, I was in a tunnel, but there was no white light for me, despite that I tried hard to sustain a relationship with God. There was, however, a strange maroon light. It was pulsating like a strobe light. Before I reached it, I woke up and puked out at least half of the guts that make up a human being.

That's when I knew God didn't want me, but that little maroon light… someone did. I got to thinking about the Bible and God and his nemesis, or character foil, Satan. Satan's the other deity. He's supposed to represent evil, but in all fairness, the fallen angel wasn't given a chance to tell his side of the story. I understood that. Christy's stories were the only stories to the rest of the school. Mine didn't matter because she had already told her side first. Basically, she had followers first. I, like Satan, didn't get a say, and no one was willing to listen.

The Bible was written from God's perspective. It was his side of the story. What ever happened to Satan's? In the Bible, it says God is the very entity of good on Earth. I guess that explains why… wars… start… in his name. Forgive me, I strayed from the subject. Later on, the Bible continues to say Satan is the very opposite of God. He's the bad guy. If you think of God and Satan as normal people, which I'm sure they are in some sense, they're like your everyday bickering children. I think they hate each other and God decided to make Satan look bad by telling some human shmuck to write some less than friendly things about him. Besides, even in the Bible it says that Satan is for man, and God is for God. I hate selfish people.

I know it sounds crazy, but I've always been one to root for the underdog. I feel like this guy, Satan, he can take care of me. He can watch over me. He can keep the hurt away from me. He already got Christy to leave me alone when I made a prayer to him instead of God. He can save me. He's just as good AND as bad as God is. We all have our faults -- even the Almighty Creator.

The headlights turned into Naelia's driveway. Her father honked the horn to get the red head girl out of the house. Just to make him mad, she walked slowly, forcing him to honk several more times. She finally got to the car, opened the door, and got it.

Helen's dad listens to Christian music. It's gonna be a long ride there…

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MH Lutheran Church

The very minute they walked into the church, Helen led Naelia to the game room. At every youth group meeting, the first order of operations was a game. The best part for Naelia was that it was always somewhat violent but it didn't hurt at the same time. It could make one feel invincible. Bruises were never a really a serious situation anyway. That's all you could get from these games, unlike school games in gym class. Everyone could take bruises. However, before she had ever first attended the church, someone had broken an arm during a game. Naelia never met him, but she always kept out of 'capture the flag' just because of that little story.

The game hadn't started yet. It was still early and—

"Naelia!!" The twins ran to the redhead and hugged her tightly, squeezing the breath out of her.

She laughed breathlessly. "Hey. Long time---" They squeezed tighter, causing her to gasp. "—n-no see… pehh…"

"Helen told us you're a Satanist or something." Mary said. Julie elbowed her.

"It's still nice to see you again." Julie added, trying to cover for her sister.

Naelia smiled bitterly. "I'm not a Satanist. I just think the Bible is biased."

Helen, Mary and Julie all raised their fingers to their mouths. "Not here. Don't say that here."

Her temper frayed. "Why the hell not? Helen told me no one would care!"

Helen began to back away and the twins just stared at her. They both said at once, "She said what?" Helen just laughed nervously.

"K-Kind of gullible… aren't you?" Helen hesitated. "It was the only way I could get you to come." She pleaded. This only made Naelia's temper rise and face turn red. She moved away from the group for a moment to fume. After what seemed like an eternity, she went and sat on the lounge couch, outwardly refusing to speak with Helen. Helen laughed nervously again.

Hallway (Outside of the song room)

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By the time they were halfway through the first song, Naelia had already left. It didn't help that she was still mad at Helen, but she was hearing the most annoying music imaginable. It reminded her of that church retreat about a year ago. At that retreat, there was always a religious meeting where everyone would get together to sing and pray. Ugh, she hated it. Yes, it was then that everything started…

She had been sitting -- instead of standing like everyone else. Counselors always tried to urge her to stand but she wouldn't. She was strong in her faith back then – she just didn't want to stand for a full two hours. That's when someone called her out of that little church house. The woman told her the most terrifying news a teenager could ever hear. 'Your father…' Already, the way that was said would worry someone enough to give them a heart attack. '…got in an accident.'

Naelia snapped out of her little daydream, unaware that a hot tear was rolling down her cheek. She looked up as the singing went on in the other room. "You have a lot of fans don't you?" She let out a little chuckle as she caught a few lyrics from the song. "Pretty conceited, aren't you? Hm? Heh. Mountains bow down and the sea will roar at the sound of your name. I'd like to see that happen." She just shook her head and sat at a bench. "'Least Satan doesn't make up shit to get respect."

"Naelia! How nice to see you!" A voice came from down the hall.

Naelia looked up. Great… the bearer of all good news. The woman who told me my father was dead.

"I haven't seen you for almost a year! How are things at home?" She approached Naelia.

"Shi-" Naelia caught herself. "Fine."

"How have you and your mother been dealing with your father's death?" She sat on the bench next to her.

Naelia waved a hand. "I try to forget it."

The woman sighed and looked off into another direction. "Naelia… you should always remember it."

Naelia raised her eyebrow and looked away, mouthing. 'shut up, bitch.' She jumped when the woman took her hands and grasped them. "Uh…"

"Dear heavenly father, I pray you guide Naelia through these hard times and help her to become stronger, both in faith and-"

"Whoa whoa whoa!" She pulled her hands away. "Don't pray. Please."

"But prayer is how we communicate with the lord."

Naelia moved away from the bench. "You'd think if he was so great, he'd hear you without having you fold your hands and close your eyes."

The woman narrowed her eyes. "What? Are you feeling all right?" She put a hand to Naelia's forehead. At that, Naelia jumped up off of the bench and snapped loudly.

"I feel just fine, no thanks to you! Why the hell do you bring up things that hurt, huh?"

She stood as well, reaching out for Naelia. "Hey… I just want to help."

The red head smacked away the woman's hand. "I'm trying to get over it, and this whole damn Christian… Lutheran… whatever…. thing!"

"Naelia. Oh Lord… You, you can't just quit religion. It's what you're born with. The Lord made you that way."

She took a big step back. "Ugh! Forget you! Forget the Lord! I was a mistake of God's, all right!?" She growled and rushed up the stairs onto the second floor. She squatted onto the ground, biting her sleeve. She sat there cursing at herself for losing her cool, hoping this wouldn't cause any problems for her here tonight.

Meanwhile, the woman contacted the other youth group leaders and told them everything that had just happened. This was definitely a problem.