Lifestyles of the Magical and the Famous
Chapter 4: Smooth Luxish
While Sam and Harry continued making out in the Gryffindor Common Room, Luxme was having a little adventure of her own.
Luxme: AHHHHHHHHH! *Trips down the stairs, falls on her ass then lands face forward onto the ground*
Dumbledore: *shakes head* That girl didn't have enough weed. She should have died immediately and turned into a ghost!
Afroman & Snape: *nod in agreement*
Finally, Luxme fell to her untimely death, unknown that she was totally finished. Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson started playing, and Luxme turned into a neon green colour and screamed.
Luxme: I'm all green! OMG I'm the same colour as Harry's eyes! AHHHHHHHHHH Matching! That'll show Sam with her goddamn brown eyes! MUA HAHAHAHA
Dumbledore: Dear lord. It's "Smooth Criminal" by Michael Jackson
Afroman: The perfect getting-high-on-weed song!
Snape: I prefer "I'm A Slave 4 U" by Bitchney Spears but, this is okay.
So Snape, Dumbledore and Afroman all had their own little "weed-sniffing" session along with some other Hogwarts students. Meanwhile, Luxme was taking major advantage to the fact that she "A Glowing Freak".
Cho Chang: *sees Luxish then screams* AHHHH CEDRIC HELP ME! *thinks hard and remembers* God damn it! I forgot YOU'RE DEAD *runs away*
Ron Weasley: *stares at Luxish blankly* Ugh, what a slimy git! She looks like she got Blubber puss spilled all over her. I better go get Hermione!
As Luxme went along, scary people, she finally reached the Gryffindor common room. Staring at the painting guarding it, she used the password and searched for Sam and Harry. The common room was empty, thought the fire was still crackling loudly.
Luxme: *sneaks around the common room on her tip toes* Harry Potter Harry Potter Where are you? Where are you? Are you fucking Saaaam? Are you fucking Saaaam? Where the hell are you? Where the hell are you??
Sam: Mmmmm...Harry! That tickles!
Luxme: Saaaam??
Harry & Sam: *they both fall out the common room closet, looking dishelved* Oof!
Luxme: HARRY POTTER! YOU WERE FUCKING SAAAAAM!!
Sam: Wtf??
Harry: *holds wand* move and I will hex you, Luxish McGlee!
Luxme: *snap* I finally got a picture of you holding your wand!
Ashy somehow falls from the sky without her beloved Draco Malfoy.
Ashy: I'm flyyyinng!!
Luxme: *points* It's an ass!
Sam: No it's an ash!
Harry: No it's piece of ass!!!
Sam: *slaps Harry* I'm sorry! *pats him*
Ashy: *lands on her ass then bounces back up and lands flat on her face*
Sam: Wtf was that?
Harry: The Amazing Bouncing Ass!
Luxme: I'm sure Harry bounces Sam's ass..
Ashy: Ewwwww!! Mental image! OMFG! EWW!! *sobs while sitting upright on her ass*
Harry: Luxish that was nasty..not that I wouldn't mind......*cough*
Ashy: EEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!! *sobs more*
Sam: Come to think of it! I wouldn't mind either! *evil grin at Ashy*
Ashy: YOU'RE HORRIBLE!!! EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! *crawls into a corner and sobs*
Luxme: Well you probably do!! Harry Potter fucking-
Ashy: STTOPPPPIT!! *runs out of the common room*
Sam: Awww now we made her run out and sob herself to death
Luxme: Well, being kind and courteous of a Gryffindor I am.. Harry let's go find the it! *grabs Harry's hand and quickly drags him away* Muahahaha
Sam: HEY!
Harry: *dragged out of the common room* *SLOW MOTION* SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
And so the-wishing-to-be-Samantha-Potter-InsertOtherHottiesLastNameHere-InsertAnotherHottiesLastNameHere-InsertSomethingSharpOfDominicHere Sam started running after the insane Luxish McGee and her beloved Harry Potter, in slow motion!
Meanwhile, a very distraught Ashy ran down a long, wide hall. She was about to turn a corner when- SMACK!
Ashy: *lands on her again* *sniff* Dammit! Watch where you're going!!
Ron Weasley: Oh, uhm, er, sorry.. *mutters* Let me help you up *offers a hand to Ashy*
Ashy: THANK YOU MISTER RONNIEKINS! *pulls on his hand and helps herself up*
Ron: Ronniekins?! Bloody hell!
Ashy: Bloody what?
Ron: HELL!
Ashy: Ohhhhhhhh
Luxme, Harry and a chasing Sam enter the hallway. Luxme is dragging Harry in a peculiar slow motion. While Sam is screaming her head off, chasing them, in a slow motion...
Harry: SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMM....
Luxme: *still running in slow motion while Harry reaches out to Sam*
Sam: I'MMM COOOMMMINNNNGGG.... *slowly trips on a crack in the floor and falls down to her doom* nnnnNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....
Luxme: Muuuuuaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaa!!!!
Harry: SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMM!!
Ron & Ashy: *go slow motion all of a sudden* *BIG SLOW GASP*
Then somehow, time gets it's lazy arse moving and speeds up.
Sam: *quickly crashes to the floor, landing on her face*
Luxme: *her running paces up and she stops infront of Ron and Ashy*
Harry: Sam!
Luxme: *pulls Harry up* You Ok my sweet emerald of the greeny land!?
Harry:...WOT?
Ashy: *sniggers*
Ron: Is she ok? *points to Sam down the hallway*
Sam: *rolls over in fake pain* OH! IT HURTS! BLOODY HELL IT HURTS!!!!!!
Harry: Don't worry Sam! *rushes over to her and helps her up*
Sam: I'M CURED! *fake cries and hugs Harry*
Ashy & Ron & Luxme: *rolls eyes* Oh please...
Sam & Harry: *limp over to the new trio*
Harry: Finally here! Are you ok Ashy?
Ashy: *blinks*
Luxme: Oh yeah..Are you ok Ashy?! Harry!! You never told me if you were ok! But I guess you're ok! Ok! *looks at Ashy* You ok?
Sam: Err
Ashy: Oh joy! I'm just filled with JOY! *sheepish grin*
Angel light from no where shines down on them.
Ashy: Now that I have those disturbing images out of my head...*chokes back a sob*
Ron: What disturbing image-*eyes widen*
Zel: *runs by, streaking*
Everyone watches the anonymous girl named Zel run down the hall yelling with pride and joy. *sigh*
Ron: Bloody hell! SHE HAD A GOLDEN ASS!
Sam & Ashy & Luxme: *too shocked*
Harry: *nods frantically*
Everyone watches Zel run back from where she came from, screaming this time. A very drugged up Severus Snape was chasing her too. His hands were in front of him in a grabbing motion!
Snape: I NEED A PIECE OF YOUR ASS!!
Zel: LEAVE MY PRECIOUS ASS ALONE!!
Snape: FOR A POTION!!
They disappear down the hall...
Everyone: *blinks*
Ashy: That was just scary... *backs away into the wall*
Harry: *nods frantically*
Ron: Stop nodding..
Sam & Luxme: *still shocked*
Snape: *falls on top of Zel and starts humping her golden ass* AHHHHHHHHHHHH
Zel: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GET OFF OR ELSE THE SHINYNESS WILL RUB OFF *A golden light from the heavens of Middle Earth shines and Enya comes back AGAIN*
Sam: God damn it…
Harry: Not you again!
Ashy: We don't know where your precious Whoremione is okay?
Enya: MAY IT BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THAT I KILL ALL YOU STUPID HOGWARTS STUDENTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Everyone: *blink blink cough cough*
Enya: God damn ittttttttttttttttttt *runs away*
Snape: *now making out with Zel*
Dumbledore: SNAPEY! *screams like a girl*
Snape: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *slow motion again*
Dumbeldore: *runs like a mad cow and screams* YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU PLAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEERRRRRRRRRRR
