The 12
Labors of Jack
Disclaimer: Me No own Jack!!
Having nowhere else to look, Jack entered the coliseum. Suddenly,
gigantic Metal doors slammed behind him and likewise doors soon closed over
the open ceiling. He tried to slash his way through the doors, but it was
no use. Huge TV. screens popped up around him and a robot announcer came on
the screen. "Welcome, welcome, one and and all, to Samurai Jack's
DESTRUCTION!!" yelled the announcer to an imaginary audience. "Today we'll
see the pitiful samurai face off against the 12 most evil traps and beasts
of the mighty, all-powerful, AKU!" Jack gasped after all of his searching,
he had finally find Aku! And if Aku was here, then perhaps there was a time
portal! Before he could think anymore, a huge metal gate opened on the
other side of the arena and a tremendous, robotic lion leaped out. Jack
unsheathed his sword and tried to cut the metallic beast, but it was to no
avail. He remembered the ultra-robots made out of adamantine and realized
the lion was built of the same Material! He barely had time to dodge the
lion's deadly claws. "How can I defeat this creature?" wondered the samurai
out loud. Then it hit him. He started to run up the coliseum's stairs, and
the lion followed suit. When he was far up, he jumped backwards onto the
lion's back, and in a blind rage, it tried to slice Jack with his claws,
but ended up decapitating itself. "AAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!" Roared the
announcer. "Well, no matter. On to the next event!" Once again, the gates
opened to reveal a large, lizard-like creature with a long neck. It was
then Jack realized what was going on! In Greece, he heard of a legendary
strongman named Hercules who completed 12 labors in order to regain favor.
Aku had recreated these labors in an effort to destroy Jack for good! He
wisely tore off some of his gi to protect himself from what would be the
hydra's poisonous breath. He ran behind it, but when he tried to slash its
body, it guarded with its neck, and true to the legendary monster, two more
grew in its place. The two-headed beast filled the arena with smog, and
jack started coughing, he knew he needed to hurry and think. He then saw
that the announcer had put up laser walls after his fight with the Nemean
lion. He leaped at the hydra and sliced off his heads, passed through, and
struck the laser wall. The burning light reflected off the magic blade, and
struck the hydra. It's head-making unit overloaded, and the metal
monstrosity exploded. No sooner had the dust cleared that a new monster, a
boar with swords for tusks, two jets on his sides, and wheels for feet. It
charged, but Jack simply stuck out his sword and sliced the beast in two.
(This wasn't very drawn out in the actual labor either.) A noisy squawking
filled the coliseum, as huge (for birds) birds flew in through a temporary
opening in the ceiling. Their talons ripped through Jack's clothes and
scratched him repeatedly. He raised his sword against the screeching
terrors and one of them grabbed the weapon! Defenseless, he looked around
for any weapon and found: the Nemean lion's claw! He ran towards it,
grabbed it, and started to bang it and clang it against the door. The birds
all flocked towards him and all fell as jack slashed through their wings
with the arm of the robotic cat. He proceeded to make it to the opposite
door to slash his way through with the claw, when suddenly, a golden stag
robot with jets on his wheeled feet. Popped out of the door. "Now don't try
to hurt this little guy, or, for that matter, escape, or our hidden
explosives, will blow this whole place sky high!" Piped up the robot
announcer. The stag started whirring around the arena and Jack tried
numerous times to catch it, always falling flat on his face. Then, Jack had
an idea. He threw himself at the creature, which, due to a flaw, had basic
self-preservation skills and dodged. Jack expected this and jumped onto the
hind (yes that's a word.) and cut off it's jets, which really didn't "hurt"
it, and it rolled back to to the door when it stopped. The next one took
Jack by surprise. Huge stables heaped with a smelly "substance" and a timer
counting to one hour arose from the ground. "Clean those stables in the
time limit or else KABOOM!" Jack had no idea what to do. In the stories,
Hercules changed the course of a river to wash the stables clean. Then Jack
had an idea! He once again sliced through the laser wall, each
systematically frying the stables. Jack had barely sheathed his sword when
an army of robotic women in armor piled out from the door. Two started
shooting out arrows. He blocked them all and made his way to the robot-
amazons, when two more started throwing spears. He rolled out of the way
and started fighting two sword-weilding amazons. After destroying both of
them, he saw a larger robot wearing a bejeweled belt. If he could steal it
(which was the labor) it might deactivate the robots! But a near-constant
stream of arrows and spears blocked his path. He grabbed the two shields
from the sword-wielding amazons he had just destroyed and ran his way past
the blockade. When he got through, all the amazons gathered to protect the
Queen. Jack slashed, smashed, sliced, and hacked his way through the fierce
warriors until he had made his way to the Queen. A fierce swordfight
ensued. Finally, the fighters were locked in a struggle. Jack pulled off
the Amazon robots sword and threw it to the ground. The Queen, caught off
guard, started shooting arrows out of her wrists, but Jack blocked them all
with his sword. The samurai leaped up, but the Queen tripped him up with a
spear. Jack, now on the ground was staring down the spear's wrong side!
Jack kicked his foot up to try and kick the belt off, and the race was on!
It was the Queen's spear vs. Jack's foot. (I can't think of a dramatic way
to end this without pictures, so lets just say Jack won.) "Okay, That's
IT!" Shouted the robot announcer. The door opened to reveal the announcer!
He towered over Jack, purple and green, with flamethrowers, missiles, and
guns. One of his hands popped open to reveal a bomb on a chain. He
propelled it at Jack, who ducked, sliced the chain, and the bomb exploded
harmlessly on the wall. He pointed his fingers at Jack, and bullets shot
out of them! Jack evaded until he made he made it near the robot, and
chopped his arm off! "AAAHHHH!" it roared. It then took out a huge axe and
started swinging maniacally. Jack dodged 'till he managed to jump on the
axe, but then it grabbed him and strangled him. Calmly, Jack pointed to the
robots fuel for his flamethrowers. It had been poked through! The robot
released Jack to try to cover it up, but it was too late! He exploded. Jack
was damaged from the explosion, but his pain lightened when he saw the door
open. He sheathed his sword and calmly walked through, knowing that this
could be the end of his quest.
Author: Whoooooeee! How them Duke Boys gonna get outta this one? Sorry, wrong show. Anyways, I'm sorry if this was kinda bad, I lost steam around the Amazons. The next chapter will be better. It'll be shorter, but not as short the first chapter. And maybe more dialogue than the second chapter. (Third times the charm, right?)
Author: Whoooooeee! How them Duke Boys gonna get outta this one? Sorry, wrong show. Anyways, I'm sorry if this was kinda bad, I lost steam around the Amazons. The next chapter will be better. It'll be shorter, but not as short the first chapter. And maybe more dialogue than the second chapter. (Third times the charm, right?)
