The wind blew dust against the hotel room window. Spike looked at the clock anxiously, six-fifteen. The sun had finally set. It had been a wonderful day. Eliza had held him so tightly while he cried, the sensation made him remember every moment he had spent with Buffy last year. He shuddered openly, and turned to look at Eliza's sleeping form. Gently he covered her petite body with a spare blanket. Spike smiled sadly as he brushed the hair from her face. Eliza responded by leaning into his cold touch. Spike quickly recoiled his hand. This wasn't right. . . . he needed her forgiveness. . . approval. . . something. Spike sighed and placed his duster lightly on his shoulders.
"G'bye Liza. I promise I'll come back." He hesitated, letting his fingers trace along her cheek one more time before leaving for his de Soto.
After placing a message for Liza with the front office, picking up some cigs, and filling up with blood and gas he was well on his way to Sunnydale.
The road was long and mesmerizing, and gave Spike ample time to think about what he was journeying for. He knew that his love for Buffy was deep, deeper than anything he had felt before... but... He pictured Eliza's sleeping face and smiled. Spike also knew that Eliza held a deep meaning for him, and was some how important despite the fact he barely knew her. She seemed to radiate a special glow that made him feel, like he never had before. It was a gentle light, not blinding and burning, but soft, almost more of an emotion than light at all. It wasn't like Buffy at all, it wasn't that Buffy wasn't bright, she shone like the sun itself, but that was the point-- Buffy was too bright, too harsh. Eliza was able to defend herself, yet had an odd vulnerability to her that kept the warm light continually emanating from her. Spike knew he had felt this all before, but it had been so long. . . . the memories seemed so far away. Spike sighed deeply as he let William's memories flooded int his mind. There was a time that Spike fought the onslaught of William's memories, but since he had earned his soul, he had learned to embrace them, and learn from them. Upon allowing the memories to play back, as the emotions from so long ago filtered through his mind. Then he remembered completely, allowing a name to slip from his lips.
"Gwen." He remembered it all so well now. She had been his best of friends. When Cecily trounced his heart, he had always ran to Gwen. He laughed at the memory. She had always been there, unchanging. Gentle, but always firm and determined. She had often read the poetry meant for Cecily first, calling it the best she had ever heard. Spike laughed aloud. Gwen was a horrible liar. Spike recalled Gwen on her wedding day, he didn't attend because of his siring, but he still cared for her very much. She was a picture, more beautiful than Spike had ever realized. Her black hair framed her pale white face, laced b spring flowers. He still remembered what she said when she kissed him goodbye for the last time.
"It was always about you." Slowly she grasped her husband's hand. "It was supposed to be you." She whispered gently into his ear.
Tears now stormed down Spike's face as he fully realized. . . Gwen. . . Eliza. . . he loved Gwen but had left her for this life, and fate had given him another chance by sending Eliza to him. Spike sped down the highway. His love for Buffy ran deep, but he and Eliza seemed to span all time.
Spike arrived in Sunnydale same as ever, crashing through the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign. The moon was high in the sky, and he knew exactly where to go to find his peace.
"G'bye Liza. I promise I'll come back." He hesitated, letting his fingers trace along her cheek one more time before leaving for his de Soto.
After placing a message for Liza with the front office, picking up some cigs, and filling up with blood and gas he was well on his way to Sunnydale.
The road was long and mesmerizing, and gave Spike ample time to think about what he was journeying for. He knew that his love for Buffy was deep, deeper than anything he had felt before... but... He pictured Eliza's sleeping face and smiled. Spike also knew that Eliza held a deep meaning for him, and was some how important despite the fact he barely knew her. She seemed to radiate a special glow that made him feel, like he never had before. It was a gentle light, not blinding and burning, but soft, almost more of an emotion than light at all. It wasn't like Buffy at all, it wasn't that Buffy wasn't bright, she shone like the sun itself, but that was the point-- Buffy was too bright, too harsh. Eliza was able to defend herself, yet had an odd vulnerability to her that kept the warm light continually emanating from her. Spike knew he had felt this all before, but it had been so long. . . . the memories seemed so far away. Spike sighed deeply as he let William's memories flooded int his mind. There was a time that Spike fought the onslaught of William's memories, but since he had earned his soul, he had learned to embrace them, and learn from them. Upon allowing the memories to play back, as the emotions from so long ago filtered through his mind. Then he remembered completely, allowing a name to slip from his lips.
"Gwen." He remembered it all so well now. She had been his best of friends. When Cecily trounced his heart, he had always ran to Gwen. He laughed at the memory. She had always been there, unchanging. Gentle, but always firm and determined. She had often read the poetry meant for Cecily first, calling it the best she had ever heard. Spike laughed aloud. Gwen was a horrible liar. Spike recalled Gwen on her wedding day, he didn't attend because of his siring, but he still cared for her very much. She was a picture, more beautiful than Spike had ever realized. Her black hair framed her pale white face, laced b spring flowers. He still remembered what she said when she kissed him goodbye for the last time.
"It was always about you." Slowly she grasped her husband's hand. "It was supposed to be you." She whispered gently into his ear.
Tears now stormed down Spike's face as he fully realized. . . Gwen. . . Eliza. . . he loved Gwen but had left her for this life, and fate had given him another chance by sending Eliza to him. Spike sped down the highway. His love for Buffy ran deep, but he and Eliza seemed to span all time.
Spike arrived in Sunnydale same as ever, crashing through the 'Welcome to Sunnydale' sign. The moon was high in the sky, and he knew exactly where to go to find his peace.
