Title: Being a teenager sucks

Pairings: *takes a deep breath* RL/SB, RW/HG, GW/DM, HP/OC, MM/SS (ack, I don't much like the last one, but ish chose the pairings, acos I couldn't decide. Ain't she helpful! ^.^) And possible Dean/Seamus.

Warnings: Some slash in later chapters, probably only mild slash, because I can't write it to save my life.

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, don't you think there'd be more blood??? And more slash, for that matter. Lol.

A/N: first hp fanfic, I didn't know how this would turn out, but it seems to be okay. Rest assured there is a plot. Eventually, there will be a plot… now, onto important matters.

You will heed the warnings. There will be mild slash in later chapters. Do NOT come crying to me because you don't like to see Sirius and Remus paired together. Don't flame me because you're homophobic, I have warned you, and I'll warn you again in the chapters that I decide to put slash in.

You will review, even if it is to flame me. If I get no reviews, or very little, I will think that nobody is reading this, and I will stop writing it.

Constructive criticism is most welcome. If you have ideas, or can point out mistakes, I will be eternally grateful.

If you flame me because of the slash (when I write it) I will hunt you down, and drink your blood. I will hang your lifeless body from the flagpole of my school, and we will all throw things at you. Then, we will see which type of acid will eat through your eyeballs the fastest, and have a race. If I lose (which I won't. I'm acing chem.) We will send your body to your family for a decent burial. If I win, (which is certain) we will cover you in melted wax, and stand you in the science lab so the little year sevens can throw things at you. And then possibly cover you in kerosene and set you on fire, those year sevens are pyros (and I am their teacher!)

Yes, I have been known to drink blood on occasion, I want fangs, I hate the sun, and my skin is so pale it's almost white. (Except at the moment, it just borders on extremely pale, acos it's summery where I live.) I'm obsessed with vampires. GET THE HELL OVER IT! Erm… thank you…

((Okay, Phebes, your cat is in here somewhere. There will be another, I swear!))

Harry lay on his bed, thinking. He'd just barely stopped Dudley getting into his room to beat him up, he was obviously still mad about the rock-cakes incident.

Aunt Petunia had nearly had a fit when she saw her "poor little Duddiekins" all scratched up. She had blamed it on Harry, even though she had no evidence, so now Harry was locked in his room, and not allowed out, maybe until he had to go back to Hogwarts. It depended if Petunia got over the incident before that.

He got meager amounts of food given to him twice a day, only once if Vernon couldn't be bothered, so he was surviving mainly off his fast diminishing cake supply.

He supposed Dudley would calm down eventually, but it was best to keep the wardrobe in front of the door for the time being…

Harry retrieved the astral projection potion from under the floorboards where he had stashed it almost a week before. He'd been waiting for the right time to use it, and now was good, because he suspected he wouldn't be disturbed for several hours, and one hour was all he needed.

He put one drop of the potion in a glass of water, and the water turned blood red. He drank it all, and then looked around. It didn't seem to be working. He stood up. But what could have gone wrong? He'd followed the directions precisely. He bent to pick up the book and check, then glimpsed his body lying on the bed. The empty glass had fallen to the floor and shattered when his spirit left his body. He cried out in shock, but no sound escaped his lips. So it had worked… he floated over to look at his physical body. It appeared to be sleeping… wait… floated? Cool! This was unbelievable!

He wondered if he could… yes! He could pass through walls!

Harry floated down the stairs to where Dudley was badgering Petunia for food.

Past Vernon, who was reading the paper, through the hall, and out the door. No, through the door!

He sped off down the street, passing a cat, which hissed at him, and tried to scratch him. Wait a second! It could see him? But the Dursleys couldn't…

He passed a dog, but it did not appear to see him. Maybe the cat belonged to a witch? Or maybe cats were just smarter than dogs. (And the Dursleys for that matter.)

He wondered what Ron would think about his discovery of the potion…

His surroundings blurred, and he found himself at the burrow. Harry was confused. How did he get here? He noticed Ron in the kitchen trying to nick some of his mother's fresh baked cookies, and moved to ask him how he got here, but of course, Ron could neither see, nor hear him. Which is unfortunate, because at that minute, Mrs. Weasley rounded the corner. Harry tried to warn Ron, but he didn't even feel it when Harry tapped his sholder.

"RONALD WEASLEY WHAT IN THE NAME OF MERLIN ARE YOU DOING!?" Ron hastily put his cookie-filled hands behind his back.

"Nothing mum" he mumbled through a mouthful of cookies. Mrs. Weasley turned an interesting shade of red, and it looked like she was going to explode any moment.

Harry decided to go see how Hermione was, before things got too ugly here.

The burrow faded from view, and was replaced by the unfamiliar walls of Hermione's room.

He looked around. It seemed that Hermione liked a muggle band by the name of Alabaster Box, judging by the posters on the wall. And… EMINEM!?!? Now there's a side of Hermione he'd never known about.

Hey… where was Hermione anyway? He looked around and spied Crookshanks sleeping soundly on the end of Hermione's bed.

Hermione lay sleeping on her bed, open book in hand. It was afternoon still; the poor girl must have worn herself out studying.

Harry felt something, like a pull on his arm, and before he could turn around…

A/N: Whee! Cliffhanger! I was going to continue this, but ish was bugging me to post whatever I had. (heh, bet you're sorry now ish…) everybody poke ish!!!    NEVER! *poke* EVER! *poke* DO THAT! *poke* AGAIN! *poke*  oooh! *poke* lol.