Eric came over the day after. Caitlin had worked up the courage to ask him his email address.

She bounded downstairs Griffin and Eric where there 'hey guys' she greeted them Hey they both replied uninterested Caitlin felt her heart sink she heard Griffin say

'you want something to eat'

'Sure' Eric replied.

Now was the time to ask him when Griff wasn't hanging a round. 'Um Eric you have a computer right' she asked him

'Yeah I do' he replied.

'Do you want my email address' she said forcing the words out

Eric shrugged 'Gee I don't know I guess if you want' he wrote his down on a sheet of paper.

Caitlin gave him his and thanked him.

She ran up to her room pleased with herself. It wasn't much in getting to know him but it was a start.

** * * * * * * * Caitlin slumped in her chair at school Eric hadn't said hi to her today, which made her Depressed Caitlin shook her head what am I thinking I shouldn't be depressed over

Eric he's just a guy not worth worrying about. But Caitlin knew that wasn't true.

Taylor walked in with her parade of friends a new girl was with them Caitlin had seen her before but hadn't met her what was her name again Leslie or Lauren. But there was something about her that made Caitlin think slut today she had her top tied up exposing her belly which was pale white and bulgy and about a ton of black eye makeup on.

How can she be comfortable with that she thought? But the thing Caitlin couldn't get was that she was hanging around Taylor's group even though Caitlin didn't like Taylor she had to admit that she wasn't the slutty type sure she was never short of a boyfriend but she didn't dress like a slut the things Taylor sometimes wore made Caitlin think of a Barbie.

She yawned leaning back in her seat 'hey watch it punk girl' a voice said

Caitlin turned around to face Taylor they glared at each other before Caitlin turned around Taylor said 'okay Lauren meet Caitlin Seeger the freekshow' Lauren snicked she sure wasn't shy about keeping her feelings to herself.

Caitlin thought about giving them both a snappy retort but turned around and ignored it instead.

Caitlin waited as the hours dragged on until the class was let out and as soon as she was home she ran in the barn and tacked up Bandit.

'Lets go boy' she said softly to him as she felt the sting of tears in her eyes she swung up in to the saddle and urged Bandit into a gallop tears blurred her vision.

Why couldn't anything go her way for once? Caitlin pulled bandit to a stop and swung down from the saddle and went over to a tree and sat down and let the tears come.

At least I m alone now she thought when she was feeling upset she usually didn't like to have people crowding her.

She preferred to be alone.

She sat there for half an hour sniffling whenever she got upset at home no one seamed to understand.

Griffin thought that she was feeling sorry for herself and told her that she wasn't the only person that had problems And that she was using her city life as an excuse.

Well I m not its not meant to be an excuse I wish Eric could understand me she thought. It was funny her sudden need to have a boyfriend maybe it was because shed never known what it felt like.

Caitlin had always hidden her emotions deep down but she'd always known that she'd wanted a boyfriend.

What did it feel like to have someone be attracted to you, someone so attracted that they'd ask you out instead of the girl making the first move, what did it feel like to have someone's arms around you to have someone kiss you and tell you that you where beautiful and wonderful no matter what anyone else thought.

Caitlin sighed those where the things she'd thought about I wounder if ill ever know what it feels like to have a boyfriend probably not ill probably never be kissed until Im forty years old and by then I might have never had a boyfriend. I can't really see myself getting married or having kids I guess I wont know till I have a boyfriend.

I want a boyfriend. She thought. If she had a proper social life it might be easier but Caitlin wasn't the type to go to parties even though the new friends she sometimes sat with went out every weekend.

I need to be more sociable she thought to herself but adding the fact that Jim and Dori would never let her out partying in the past she'd never wanted to because it was too superficial and she'd never liked people who where superficial.