"May I talk with you, Master?"
The voice echoed through the study of Hellsing mansion. Integral looked up.
"What do you want, Arucard?"
"I have a ... personal question."
Integral raised an eyebrow. "You're five hundred years old, what could you have to ask
me that you don't already know?"
"Well...I....have a confession-no, a question...to make."
"Fine. Then out with it."
"...can I have your box of tampons?"
A thud echoed through the study.
Arucard shrugged, and retreated back through the ceiling, muttering, "Far too sensitive."
***
"Walter-san?"
Walter jumped, his eyepiece flying to the floor. "Arucard..."
"My apologies, Sir. I have a question for you."
Walter sighed and rubbed his lense. "Sure."
"Do you know where Integral keeps her box of tampons?"
Arucard didn't understand what happened to Walter-san either, since he stood quite still with his hand over his heart, before collapsing (quiet dramatically) to the floor.
***
"Fukei!"
"Yes, Masta?" Ceras looked up at the ceiling of her coffin bed.
"May I have one of your tampons?" Arucard asked, gently, hoping for a better reaction.
"Masta, that's disgusting!"
"But...I..."
The bed whirred and closed. Ceras ignored Arucard's pitiful pleas for assistance.
Arucard slid through the wall, mumbling, "I'm going to ruin my favorite pair of silken panties..."
***
"Hi, welcome to Wallmart!"
The man hissed at her rehearsed greeting, and continued into the store. His foppish red hat and long black hair disconcerted her. Kids these days.
Everyone silenced as Arucard walked by. No one said anything as he solemnly walked into the "Feminine Supplies" aisle and picked up a box of Tampax.
The only person who talked to him during the entire trip was an employee, whose advice he had asked on whether the pink bra or the blue one suited him better.
Though Arucard didn't receive much of an answer. She screamed "Hentai!", and no one stopped him as he left the store without paying.
********************************
Legal Obligations: I do not own Hellsing, Integral, Arucard, Ceras, Walter, or Wallmart. I do, however, own your pathetic soul when you made the unfortunate mistake of reading this.
My sincerest apologies.
Tune in next time, for more exciting adventures, when Arucard tries to convince Integral he's not really a man.
The voice echoed through the study of Hellsing mansion. Integral looked up.
"What do you want, Arucard?"
"I have a ... personal question."
Integral raised an eyebrow. "You're five hundred years old, what could you have to ask
me that you don't already know?"
"Well...I....have a confession-no, a question...to make."
"Fine. Then out with it."
"...can I have your box of tampons?"
A thud echoed through the study.
Arucard shrugged, and retreated back through the ceiling, muttering, "Far too sensitive."
***
"Walter-san?"
Walter jumped, his eyepiece flying to the floor. "Arucard..."
"My apologies, Sir. I have a question for you."
Walter sighed and rubbed his lense. "Sure."
"Do you know where Integral keeps her box of tampons?"
Arucard didn't understand what happened to Walter-san either, since he stood quite still with his hand over his heart, before collapsing (quiet dramatically) to the floor.
***
"Fukei!"
"Yes, Masta?" Ceras looked up at the ceiling of her coffin bed.
"May I have one of your tampons?" Arucard asked, gently, hoping for a better reaction.
"Masta, that's disgusting!"
"But...I..."
The bed whirred and closed. Ceras ignored Arucard's pitiful pleas for assistance.
Arucard slid through the wall, mumbling, "I'm going to ruin my favorite pair of silken panties..."
***
"Hi, welcome to Wallmart!"
The man hissed at her rehearsed greeting, and continued into the store. His foppish red hat and long black hair disconcerted her. Kids these days.
Everyone silenced as Arucard walked by. No one said anything as he solemnly walked into the "Feminine Supplies" aisle and picked up a box of Tampax.
The only person who talked to him during the entire trip was an employee, whose advice he had asked on whether the pink bra or the blue one suited him better.
Though Arucard didn't receive much of an answer. She screamed "Hentai!", and no one stopped him as he left the store without paying.
********************************
Legal Obligations: I do not own Hellsing, Integral, Arucard, Ceras, Walter, or Wallmart. I do, however, own your pathetic soul when you made the unfortunate mistake of reading this.
My sincerest apologies.
Tune in next time, for more exciting adventures, when Arucard tries to convince Integral he's not really a man.
