I, You, Yours, Mine
A Weiss Kreuz Fanfic
By Ryuuen

Warnings: Implied shounen-ai, suicide, dark themes, mention of rape, language.

A/N: My first Weiss fic, this is an angsty little one-shot. Please keep in mind that I haven't seen the show yet.. everything I know comes from the web. But, I researched very well and on many sites before writing this. So, don't say I don't try hard to bring ya the best! Oh, yeah, and guess who the narrator and the one they're talking about is!!! Answers will be in the final paragraph or so of the fic, so make your guess early. Tell me if you were right, I want to know what you thought before finding out!

NOTE: "Oyasumi" means "goodnight." "Aishite'ru" means "I love you."
If you want me to follow this up, please let me know.

~~"Your and my loneliness hurts like a tight embrace, and the memories of us together paint a beautiful loneliness." -- Beautiful Alone, from the Weiss Kreuz Beautiful Alone Single~~
I, YOU, YOURS, MINE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I chased away the shadows in your head, that chased you relentlessly, until you would awaken, crying and screaming, and you woke up everybody. You used to worry everyone so much when you would do that. You always said it was a nightmare. You never said that the nightmare you saw was life.

I chased away the darkness of your room, that crowded around to mock and jeer at you. I held you into the night, and when you finally fell asleep, there were no nightmares. And then, in the morning, I remember, your whispered "thank you" and that tiny smile that always looked a little out of place on you. Probably because it never reached your eyes.

I remember, the way you used to cling to me in the night, whimpering pleas not to ever leave you.

I didn't ever leave you.. but you left me.

I don't think the others realize how hard it's been for me to go on after this. I know you couldn't have known how much this would hurt me, and I'm kind of glad you didn't. If you had, you would have struggled through more of this meaningless existance with a fake smile through your tears, just for me. I don't think I could have lived through that. It would have been almost worse than hearing the doctor say that you had lost too much blood. That you weren't going to make it.

Oh, I'm a damned lier. I would have been so.. so happy, to have you here. I could have tried to help you through that sadness, to help you through the memories of that pain, erase the scars those brutal knives gave you. Didn't I promise that I would always be there for you? I can't be, now. You're living in the kingdom of angels now, and I can't reach you there. Here on Earth, the only place you live is in my heart. Yes.. there you will always remain alive.

You let me hear your story one night. It was late, and it was raining so much outside, you said it sounded like the very Gods were enraged. You told me what you could remember. When you came to the night you lost your innocence, you began to cry. I held you, and you were able to continue with difficulty, and I realized that that was why you hated so much for anyone to touch you anywhere below the waist. I remembered that you had yelled at Yoji for jokingly slapping you on the ass the other day. Then, I knew why. Now, I wish I had known enough to see the silent torture in your eyes, the sadness so overwhelming that it made you empty inside, filled only with the eternal darkness that seemed to fill all of our hearts eventually.

I remember that you had prayed to your Gods that I wouldn't fall prey to that darkness. How ironic that you were the one who sent the darkness to me. Ironic. Indeed... painfully ironic.

You always acted so happy. You acted like the world was good, like there were people out there who actually gave a damn about the other people on the planet. Gods, you were so wrong. No one ever said anything about you after you were gone, aside from us. The others, and me. You called us friends. You said how much you loved being around us, and how you loved each of us, just for being us. And then.. then you left. You, the one who seemed to hold us all together, had gone.

But.. you always believed in the best of people. You never really did enjoy killing people, did you? You seemed so content and happy when you were in the flower shop, like you belonged there. You didn't belong in the world of assassains, of "kill or be killed." You were out of place there. It seemed the only place you were in place was in the shop. You were so happy there.

It broke my heart sometimes to see you put on the happy face and pretend everything was okay. It wasn't, was it, Omi?

Everything wasn't okay. Everything is never okay.

Oyasumi, my love. Oyasumi.

Aishite'ru.

I really did love you.

~From the diary of Hidaka Ken, one day before his attempted suicide.
~~"I want to protect those timid creatures, those who kneel in prayer. I'll even carve a cross in my chest. I only believe in something unstoppable, and the irrepressable spirit, now and forever." -- Velvet Underworld, from the Weiss Kreuz Dramatic Image Album One~~