Disclaimer: We all know that Jennn(no, not a typo) does not own LOTR, but it would be awesome if she could get her hands on some ketchup.

CHAPTER TWO

"Tell me again, please, why we are following this guy?" Asked Sam. He pointed ahead to Aragorn, who, unfortunately, was singing loudly.

"OH GIVE ME A HOME WHERE THE ORCS LOVE TO ROAM AND THE ELVES AND THE DWAVES DON'T PLAY…"

"Because, uh, he says he's taking us to Rivendell," answered Pippin.

"AND GONDOR IS HEARD A DISCOURAGING WORD AND THE SKY IS BLACK ALL DAY!!!!" Merry and Frodo had joined in.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP!!!" Cried Sam. "WHY WOULD YOU WANT A HOME WHERE THE ORCS LOVE TO ROAM ANYWAY?!"

They stopped immediately and looked to the ground, downcast.

"Geez Sam, they were just makin some fun," said Pippin in the trio's defense.

"Just our luck, we get stuck with a guide with an I.Q. two points higher than Frodo's," mumbled Sam.

"Hey, I heard that and I'm pretty smart, you know."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I bet I'm smarter than you."

"Uh huh."

"Don't let him get to you." offered Pippin. "He has to put up with Frodo everyday, that can wear your patience down a bit."

"Yeah, a bit," scoffed Sam.

"WELL HERE WE ARE!!!!" Called Aragorn so suddenly and loudly that everyone jumped.

"Here we are, where?" Asked Sam.

"Okay, I've been through too much to be taking cheek from A LITTLE HOBBIT!!" Aragorn yelled.

"No really, WHERE are we?" Asked Pippin.

"OH NOW YOU"RE ON MY CASE?!"

"No, silly, they just want to know where we have stopped," said Frodo through a mouthful of grass.

Everyone looked at Frodo, absolutely dumbstruck at this stroke of brilliance, despite the fact that him and Merry were face first in the grass.

"What? Do you think I'm stupid or something, I can break down simple sentences," said Frodo after seeing the look on everyone's face.

"Yeah, and that's as far as you'll get," said Sam.

"Well, anyway, we're at Weathertop Hill," Aragorn stated proudly.

"Aha, and what will we be doing here, Mr. Strider, sir?" Asked Merry.

Aragorn beamed at being called "mister" and "sir".

"Well, young Hobbits, we'll spend the night here," answered Aragorn.

"But, where's the hill?" Asked Frodo, Sam popped a few tablets of Advil into his mouth.

"Over there, with the dancing horses," he answered, then blinked, "Dancing horses?"

AND DUHDUHDUH!!! There were the prancing ponies again, on top of the hill where they were supposed to camp.

Aragorn cleared his throat, "Excuse me!"

And *poof* the ponies were gone.

"Ooooo, do that again," said Frodo and Merry in awe.

"Do what?" Asked Aragorn.

Sam and Pippin blinked.

"The ponies," whined Frodo.

"What ponies?" Aragorn turned to Sam and Pippin; Sam handed the bottle of Advil to Pippin. "Ah, well, off we go then."

MEANWHILE-with the Polite Black Riders

"You really scared that one lady, did you even say sorry?" Asked Polite Black Rider #1

"No," said #4 sadly, "my anger got the best of me, darn, maybe two more classes and I could have dealt with it."

"Well, no use crying over spilt milk, what's done is done," said #2 and let out a sigh. "It was kinda fun, you know, seeing her scream."

#1 whacked him upside the head.

"We are TRYING to give Sauron a better reputation, that he isn't all conquer and destroy."

"But I thought he was," said #2

"Sssshhhhh, some people don't know that yet," whispered #3.

"Hey, look, a hill," said #2

"Wow, good for you, you can see," said #1.

"I mean, maybe the little dude with the Ring is up there," #2 said as if it was obvious he was.

"Uh, #2, that's kinda out there, you know that right?" Asked #3.

"Well, where else would he be? It's all flat out here."

"*Sigh* well, I hate to say it, but #2 actually sounds right," said #1 as they steered there horses towards the hill, "for once."

"HEY, I heard that!"

"What?"

BACK ON THE HILL

"THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS, IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS…" Yes, Aragorn, Frodo, and Merry were singing again.

"Maybe when we get to Rivendell, we'll be able to stay FAR away from them, you've always wanted to see the Elves, right?" Asked Pippin as he handed Sam the last of the Advil.

"They've been singing that song FOR TWO HOURS!!!!" He cried as he swallowed the Advil. "What if someone hears?"

"Who would hear them?"

Just then a voice came from below, "You know, I could hear those guys a league away."

"See, I told you," said Sam, then realizing what was going on screamed. "AAAHHHH!! Polite Black Riders! HIDE!!"

Aragorn, Frodo, and Merry stopped singing and watched Sam run around in circles for a few minutes before realization struck Aragorn. He picked up the Hobbits and threw them in a cave and drew his sword.

"You guys stay there," he called.

"As if we're going to move," said Pippin.

But he didn't take into account Frodo's, uh, forgetfulness, because just then Frodo got up and walked out of the cave.

"Well, at least we got rid of him, the world may come to an end, but we got rid of him," said Sam, looking for more Advil.

Outside, Frodo found Aragorn having a conversation with the Black Riders.

"Aha, what a coincidence to find you here," said #1.

"Yeah, well, you know, it's a small world," Aragorn said shakily.

"So it was just you singing, sounded like more," said #1 a bit warily.

"Uh huh, just me. I have quite a voice, Lalalala," Aragorn swallowed.

"No, silly!" Frodo piped up, everyone looked to him, and Aragorn slapped his forehead. "I was singing with him!"

"That's the one we're looking for!" Cried #1. He pointed a long knife at Frodo to show him to the others, but if flew out of his hands WHOOSH and got Frodo right in the shoulder.

"AHHHH! How could you, #1?!" Asked #3.

"It-it was a-a-an accident," he replied and fled from the scene, the others followed, criticizing his anger management.

"FRODO!!!!" Called Aragorn, Merry, and Pippin.

"Oh no, they got Frodo," said Sam in a monotone.

"We have to get him to Rivendell, before he turns into one of THEM!!" Aragorn screamed at the very thought of Frodo becoming polite, oh, and a Black Rider.

"Top notch idea, my good fellow," said Frodo before he fainted.

"AHHHHH!!! We have to hurry! It's already starting!" Everyone, even Sam, cried.