Disclaimer: Blah Blah Blah, I don't own LOTR and I don't have enough imagination ::does spongebob thing with rainbow(which I don't own either):: to write an original story. Isn't it great basking in the sun, of some one else's, uh, shadow?
I had a bit of a booboo and, uh, uploaded Chapter Five before Chapter Four. So now there is a new chapter wedged in-between three and five called four. Sorry 'bout that, you still love me though, right? Silence. Oh, poo.
CHAPTER FIVE "Poor Traumatized Hobbit"
Magical Narrator: So the Fellowship has gotten over that bump in the road and continued on with the journey at hand. They now find themselves not to far from Rivendell in a clearing.
"C'mon Frodo, all you gotta do is walk up and light Gandalf's robes on fire," Merry held out a match.
Frodo looked troubled, "I suddenly don't have the urge to light random people's clothes on fire."
"Well fine then, geez, I'll do it myself," Merry stalked off.
When he left Sam came running by and hugged Frodo.
"AHHHH!!!! WHAT"RE YOU DOING TO ME?" Screamed Frodo.
Everyone in the Fellowship looked at Sam and Frodo with raised eyebrows.
Sam let go of Frodo, "You've done it! You've done it!"
"Done what?"
"You said no to one of Merry's stupid ideas," Sam had begun to dance around Frodo.
"Uh, Sam, you're scaring me," said Frodo as he curled into a ball.
"See," Sam pointed to Merry who was being dangled by his feet by Gandalf who, in turn, was lit on fire, "you stopped yourself from some idiotic punishment from a wizard."
"Oh, thank you for pointing that out, now, can you go, maybe, please?" Frodo had begun to shake.
"Hm, you'd think after having an unchecked spasm of brilliance he would want the company of more intelligent people," Sam said to Pippin.
Meanwhile Gandalf had his staff out and was waving it threateningly at Merry.
"YOU STUPID HOBBIT!! LIGHT ME ON FIRE, THE GENIUS IS ALIVE INSIDE OF YOU ISN"T IT?" Gandalf asked/screamed.
"I thought you were, um, a tree," said Merry stupidly.
"A TREE! A TREE!!!!!!" Gandalf was completely lost for words after this and just stood there, shaking Merry by his ankles until all the matches, lighters, and anything flammable had fallen out of his pockets.
"Uh, dudes, I don't think we're getting anywhere," said Legolas leaning against a tree.
"The elf's right, we need to get going," said Gimli. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at Gimli and Legolas.
"Gimli, did you just agree with Legolas?" Asked Aragorn.
"Yeah, so?" Answered Gimli.
"He's an ELF," said Boromir.
"And¼" said Gimli.
"You're a Dwarf," leave it to Aragorn and Boromir to state the obvious.
"OH DEAR GODS YOU'RE RIGHT!!!!!" Screamed Gimli.
"Oh, at least some people realize I'm an elf," scoffed Legolas.
"But like the elf said, I think we need to get moving," said Gimli with some difficulty, he was finding it hard to realize that he had just agreed with an elf.
"Well I'm tired and I want to stop," said Aragorn as he plopped himself onto the nice, soft ground.
"Idiot," said Gandalf, graciously excepting some Advil from Sam.
Magical Narrator: So, because Aragorn was tired, everyone plopped down onto the ground and began snoring. All except for Frodo who sat eyeing Sam, making sure he didn't make any sudden movements in his direction.
"He's gonna move, he's gonna move," he kept saying to himself.
And when Sam did move?
"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Screamed Frodo. "HE'S GONNA COME FOR ME AGAIN, SAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Everyone jumped up to their feet and looked at Frodo, who was looking at Sam, who was looking at Frodo.
"DON'T LOOK AT ME!!" Frodo screamed.
"What did you do to him?" Asked Pippin.
"Nothing, I just assumed that he had grown a bit more intelligent," answered Sam.
"HA! Nothing? You tried to rape me!!!" Said Frodo, scooting to edge of the clearing.
"Lords, i hope he is over reacting," Aragorn muttered.
"OF COURSE HE IS, THE LITTLE FREAK!!" Sam yelled.
"Off we go then," said Gandalf starting off through the woods.
"Wait, what?" Asked Sam as he hurried after the rest of the fellowship.
"Frankly, I don't want to hear about how you traumatized Frodo for the rest of his poor, young life," answered Gandalf.
Sam turned around and heard Frodo scream when he looked at him. "But I didn't DO anything to him," he pleaded.
"Dude, of course not,"
"Yeah, why would YOU do anything to HURT Frodo?"
