Disclaimer: I'm gonna cut straight to the point-I don't own LotR. Told you I would!
Hey, I'm glad so many of you love and absolutely adore me!!!!! ::blank stares back from the readers:: Uh, yeah, maybe I should take it down a notch. REVIEWERS ROCK!! There I go again.
CHAPTER TEN
"Oh great, now we're stuck in here, and I hate the dark," whined Aragorn.
"Well then it's a good thing they installed electric lights then, huh?" Gandalf said in a cooy baby sorta voice.
"They installed what-what?" Everyone echoed.
"E-lec-tric lights. The whole save the earth, and unpoluting energy thing," answered Gandalf and gave an exasperated sigh.
"Unpoluting?"
"Energy?"
"Earth?"
"Oh come now, I know you aren't all THAT big of idiots, of course I don't include Merry when I say that," Gandalf popped a few Advil into his mouth.
"Can we just, like go?" Legolas blew a sigh and put a hand on his hip in a way I promise he will never ever do again because he's not supposed be THAT kinda elf.
"YOU IDIOTS ARE THE ONES WHO ARE KEEPING ME HERE!!!" Screamed Gandalf. "ARAGORN TURN ON THE LIGHTS!!"
Magical Narrator: Aragorn flipped the switch that, luckily, wasn't buried when Gandalf screamed. Hey, did you notice how echo-ey it is in here? Hello-hello-ello-llo-o-o-o, heehee, that's awesome-awesome-wesome-some-ome-me-e-e-e.
"You know some of us can still hear echo-ey Magical Narrators!" Legolas whispered loudly.
Echo-echo-echo-cho-o-o-o, and Legolas plugged his ears.
"Thank you!"
Magical Narrator: Now, back to the story. The fellowship must now pass the long, dark of Moria. Okay, okay, I admit I got that from the movie, so sue me. ::a lawyer pops up with a copyright in his hands:: Ahhh, figure of speech, figure of speech!! I have no money! ::at this the lawyer vanishes:: For the second time now, we get back to the story. Frodo finds out they are being followed, OH NO!!
"GANDALF!! IT'S SAM IN A FREAKY GOLLUM COSTUME AND HE"S TRYING TO GET ME BY CLIMBING ON THE WALLS LIKE A SPIDER!!" Frodo screamed as he ran and clung to Gandalf. Everyone turned and looked at Sam, who was sitting smoking his pipe in very unGollumish attire.
"Fool, that IS Gollum, he's been following us for three days," Gandalf blew out a puff of smoke, a little on the mellow side.
"Nu-hu," Frodo shook his head, "It's Sam, and that's just his automated dummy down there pretending to be him."
Gandalf sighed and patted Frodo on the head, "No, young hobbit, watch. Aragorn poke Sam with your sword, try'n draw bit of blood too."
"Okie dokie," Aragorn bounced up happily and drew his nice, long WHOLE sword.
"What! Don't I get a say in this?" Sam scooted to the edge of a conveniently placed cliff.
"No, we have to prove to Frodo that you aren't a robot," Legolas drew his own nice'n shiny knives.
"But you know I'm-" Sam fell over the cliff.
"Whoops," everyone said at once, then began to stroll about whistling innocently.
Just then Sam bounced back over the cliff.
"Whew, glad I got those implants," Sam sighed.
"WHAT!?" Everyone gasped, then started banging their heads against the wall because that remark had put such ugly and unusual pictures in the minds of those poor members of the Fellowship that not a single one of them wanted to have any sort of memory of it. ( Wow was that a long sentence, so I've had my bit, I'm happy)
"It's always good to have some junk in the trunk," Sam said confidently.
"I smell, uh, something down that way, let's go there," Gandalf stumbled down a random tunnel.
"Wait, what?"
"Nobody wants to know about your butt implants," Gandalf spoke for all.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I am sooooo very sorry, I have no idea what came over me this chapter. That side of my mind ya'know? Well if you don't that's okay. Chappy 'leven's gonna be a biggy so bear with me!!!!
