Abandoned Love
~I can't write but you can't sue, as I'm very broke.
I put a boring lesson to bad use, I wasn't going to add anything but I changed my mind.
~~~~
~Everybody's wearing a disguise, to hide what they've got left behind their eyes. - Abandoned Love - Bob Dylan
Abby's POV
Rising from my semi-drunken state one thought fills my mind - Luka. I feel sober enough to negotiate my way to the door leaving a Dear John note, which makes me snigger. The night is cold and I neither have the warmth of an apartment or of alcohol any longer. The reality of what I am doing hits me but I dismiss any feelings of uncertainty. I have to do this I reassure myself over and over until I reach Luka's. Resolve the questions that surround us.
I feel compelled to talk to him, get him to open up and to understand the man he's become. I can't seem to think, reason with my mind as it leads me to him. I knock softly hoping he won't hear me or be in. Drunken courage has brought me this far but it seem to be slowly deserting me. As I turn to leave the door opens. He emerges - tall, dark and as handsome as ever. I feel my skin redden as several dozen thoughts rush through my head and emotions are stirred in m heart.
"Abby?" He says questioning my being there.
"I've......" I break off, not understanding the nervousness I feel inside.
"I thought we could talk?"
He motions for me to come inside and it feels like years since I was there last, since my many nights spend on his couch. It's messier now, untidy, sloppy - his unsettled mind mirrored in this very room in front of me. He's been drinking too. I can see the cans and smell the alcohol on his breath. I wonder if he uses it like I do. For pain relief. To block it all out. Pain from what? From his wife, his children? Pain because of me? I quickly dismiss the last thought. But our Christmas conversation is dwelling on my mind. How exactly did he miss me ?
He's changed so much since we were together, both of us have. But it scares me. He seems so much more fragile now - though he tries to hide it with his one night stands, tries to get close to people physically to fill the emptiness - the emptiness we both feel. We are so far from where we once were. I realise we both broken, it's what draws us together. We're both falling apart inside, both so much the same......
~*~
~I can't write but you can't sue, as I'm very broke.
I put a boring lesson to bad use, I wasn't going to add anything but I changed my mind.
~~~~
~Everybody's wearing a disguise, to hide what they've got left behind their eyes. - Abandoned Love - Bob Dylan
Abby's POV
Rising from my semi-drunken state one thought fills my mind - Luka. I feel sober enough to negotiate my way to the door leaving a Dear John note, which makes me snigger. The night is cold and I neither have the warmth of an apartment or of alcohol any longer. The reality of what I am doing hits me but I dismiss any feelings of uncertainty. I have to do this I reassure myself over and over until I reach Luka's. Resolve the questions that surround us.
I feel compelled to talk to him, get him to open up and to understand the man he's become. I can't seem to think, reason with my mind as it leads me to him. I knock softly hoping he won't hear me or be in. Drunken courage has brought me this far but it seem to be slowly deserting me. As I turn to leave the door opens. He emerges - tall, dark and as handsome as ever. I feel my skin redden as several dozen thoughts rush through my head and emotions are stirred in m heart.
"Abby?" He says questioning my being there.
"I've......" I break off, not understanding the nervousness I feel inside.
"I thought we could talk?"
He motions for me to come inside and it feels like years since I was there last, since my many nights spend on his couch. It's messier now, untidy, sloppy - his unsettled mind mirrored in this very room in front of me. He's been drinking too. I can see the cans and smell the alcohol on his breath. I wonder if he uses it like I do. For pain relief. To block it all out. Pain from what? From his wife, his children? Pain because of me? I quickly dismiss the last thought. But our Christmas conversation is dwelling on my mind. How exactly did he miss me ?
He's changed so much since we were together, both of us have. But it scares me. He seems so much more fragile now - though he tries to hide it with his one night stands, tries to get close to people physically to fill the emptiness - the emptiness we both feel. We are so far from where we once were. I realise we both broken, it's what draws us together. We're both falling apart inside, both so much the same......
~*~
