We return to the show after a rather disturbing advertisement for baked beans in a light tarter sauce. Victoria is being restrained by pulsating bands of blue lightning, put in place by her mate after she somehow managed to bend the steel bars of Electra's protective cage.
Jerry: Now it's time for our next guest, looks heavenward as though praying for a change in the typical nature of his guests Bombalurina!
Bomba: swaggers down rather sexily Hi. Waves coyly to the Toms in the audience.
Toms: grin like idiots
Jerry: So Bomba, why do you feel you need to humiliate yourself on national television?
Bomba: I want to tell a shy old friend of mine something about her mate… and I.
Jerry: Ooo, really? We'd better bring out your friend! Greet Jemima!
Jemima: ascends cutely somehow
Jerry: Hello Jemima.
Jemi: bats eyelashes endearingly Hello Mr. Springer, sir… Bomba.
Bomba: Hi Jemi.
Jerry: Well Bomba, fess up.
Bomba: Jemi baby, I've got something to tell you, something to do with the Tom you love.
Jemi: Mis- Tugger? What…?
Bomba: forcing herself to ignore the slip Before you guys were lifebonded, Tugs and I were a bit of an item…
Audience: Before! Whines Borrrrriinnnngggg.
Bomba: And we did some crazy things… And I want you to know that unconvincing sob Macavity is our fiendish love child, the product of one too many passes of the catnip. Dabs at eyes with conveniently placed tissue.
Jemi: Stares at her, just stares
Uneasy tension mounts as the minutes tick past.
Jerry: Quick intake of breath And here's Jemima's mate!
Tugger: entering in an errie exact replica of the first time.
Audience: groans Not that idiot again! Geez! Boos Tugger
Tugger: mutters incoherently about how much his life sucks, brightens seeing Jemima Hey Jem!
Jemi: stands up slowly not looking at him, walks over to him not looking at him, looks at him, smacks him.
Tugger: Ooowww hheeeyyyyy!
Jemi: beats on his chest You lying, sniveling, twisted little Macavity-maker! Suddenly bursts into tears and sobs into his chest
Tugger: Uh…huh?
Bomba: tries desperately to restrain a giggle, fails, guffaws uncontrollably
Tugger: suspicious Bomba, why is Jemi crying?
Bomba: snort She snort thinks that-BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA AHA-ha! Wipes tears from eyes Giggle, she thinks that laughs hysterically
Jemi: I'm getting the vague impression I've just been had…
Bomba: Sorry baby, I wanted to be on telly, hi mum!
Jemi: You…WHAT?!
Bomba: It was all in fu…n, you're uh, turning a queer colour there Jemi. Uh…MISTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Misto: I refuse to get involved.
Bomba: dashing for cover behind Tugger SHE'S GONNA EAT ME MISTO!
Misto: tries not to laugh at the infamous legs-for-miles Bomba running from tiny little Jemi
Bomba: PLEASE! Dodges claws
Misto: turning to Jerry, I'm noticing a trend in how these things end up… Is it me?
Jerry: Nope. Happens every time.
Misto: Ah.
Jemi: has Bomba in neck-hold-of-death Say it!
Bomba: I am slime! I'm a lying whore!
Jemi: MUHAHAHAHAHAHA BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Misto: frowns at them Presto!
Both queens have disappeared.
Misto: grins in satisfaction as the pair re-enters talking amiably
Jerry: Moving on… We have another guest! His name is-
Tugger: Ahem.
Jerry: glares at Tugger Tumblebrutus.
Tugger: snaps fingers in disappointment Darn.
Tumble: does front roll down the ramp onto the set
Jerry: Tumble.
Tumble: Jerry.
Jerry: Tell us why you're here Tumbles.
Tumble: I am very upset with my mother… For constantly accusing me of harboring homosexual desires.
Crowd: gasp intrigued, are finally interested
Jerry: You know…it's okay to be a little confused about your-
Tumble: I AM NOT HOMOSEXUAL! BAST CURSE MY STUPID STINKY MOTHER FOR PUTTING ME ON TV AND- Pants …I realize that you're all going to think I'm just in denial, I am not nor have I ever been. I am just straight and that's all there is to it. Not that I'm saying being otherwise is bad…I uh…
Jerry: Okay, okay. You didn't know this Tumble, but we had your mother in a back room listening to everything you've said.
Tumbles: … ……
Monitor is turned on behind them, which is supposed to show the room where Jellylorum is…But it doesn't. Instead we see Misto and Vici kissing frantically with a sort of hunger about them, the monitor is quickly turned off.
Jerry: That is…OBVIOUSLY the wrong camera glares menacingly at camera operator switchboard dude. So… Help me out here, anybody?
HELP JERRY! REVIEW!!!!
If I have something wrong with the layout of the show I'm sorry… I have never actually watched it… I tried to today for the benefit of this fic…But I couldn't stand it, my brain was trying to escape.
