This chapter is in very bad taste and contains a very long segment many readers probably won't get…so let's call it a chapter out of time and disregard it when I decide to write more properly!
Misto: Ever notice the strange inconsistencies in these stories? For instance, I'm not supposed to be here anymore.
Vici: staggering and wearing a suspiciously happy look considering her whereabouts You weren't here a second ago, ta heh heh. Licks him.
Misto: Blushes furiously. Ahem…
Tumble: Dad?
Asparagus: What?
Tumble: You called me effeminate.
Asparagus: Sighing yeah…
Tumble: Well why am I effeminate and Misto isn't when we do the same thing, yeah I knew what you were talking about! Uh huh! Uh huh! Crosses arms.
Asparagus: …Well….
Vici: Tumble…uh…Misto somehow manages to be sexy when he's doing that vaguely airy dance… And you just- welllllll.
Tumble: So I'm not sexy? Is that it?
Jemi: No, not really no.
Tumble: I'll show you the MEANING of sexy! Stands up and points at the control dude with a wink, "Bad to the Bone" starts blaring from the speakers. Tumble, in effort to dance to it perfectly mimics the movements of a FEMALE stripper and consequently looks very, very, very Tugger-esque. (I'm going to catch it for that one aren't I?)
Tugger: Dude! Trinity that was low! I have never in my whole life, waving paw loosely looked like that. Flops his paw in Tumbles direction.
Trinity: snickers and starts to cackle
Tumble: Touching himself as though he had boobs Yeah, mmm, I'm too sexy for my…I don't have a shirt…
Plato: Waking up from being booted to the head And that song isn't playing either buddy, but hey, don't let that stop you!
Tumble: Yeah, rock on brother! …Rock on? Oh Heaviside.
Cassie: Bursts through a prop door that is not meant to open. TUMBLE!
Tumble: Eep! Starts to run to hide behind Plato, but sees the look on his face and changes his mind, running behind Tugger instead.
Cassie: Oh please. Chucks Tugger across the room.
Tumble: They were being m-m-m-mean to m-m-m-me Cassie! I h-h-h-had to-
Cassie: Embarrass yourself in front of most of the English speaking world? Announce our engagement without me? Act like a complete and utter idiotic faggot?
Misto: Uh Cassie, a faggot is a bundle of sticks…or a large meatball.
Cassie: I realize that, he's a large meatball too.
Misto: Ah.
Munkustrap: Holds up Jerry's still beating heart. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! JACK THE RIPPER WOULD BE PROUD HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Plato: Jack the Ripper…didn't he kill women?
Vici: Yeah, fallen women like Griz…Nevermind.
Misto: Stunned. Really? …Wow.
Plato: What, what, what I miss?
Misto: You're sure?
Vici: Nods solemnly.
Misto: Damn…
Munkustrap: WHO CARES!
Demeter: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear…
Munkustrap: HEY BABY! Gets strange glint in his eyes. WANNA BLOW OFF THESE LOSERS?
Misto: Holding his ears. STOP SHOUTING YOU BARBARIAN!
Munkustrap: BARBARIAN? THAT'S RICH! HAHAHAHA.
Misto: Ahem… gestures to Jerry.
Jerry: Dude, I have this weird drafty feeling…
Steve: Trying really hard not to laugh.
Munku: I see your point. Demeter darling, I've put it behind me, it's okay I'm fine with it. Let's go home and fuck.
Vici: DADDY! Faints
Misto: Picks up Vici and cradles her head. I tried to tell them secrets were good but noooooo. Sings quietly into Vici's ear.
Tumble: Man humans are complicated inside…
Cassie: That is the single most disgusting thing…
Tugger: Vomiting profusely.
Jemi: Oh poor baby, it's okay sshhhh.
Vici: Hiccup Daddy said… hiccup
Misto: It's all right sweet, your Dad just had some difficult news and…
Vici: Let's go home and do what Daddy said.
Misto: Uh…
Voice: Laughing satanically, God it sucks to be you!
Misto: I wouldn't wholly agree. Glances at Vici.
Voice: Oh sure, you have vague suggestiveness, have you read my fic lately?
Misto: Okay fine. Just watch it, she's fickle and you could end up dead or something.
Voice: Me? Trinity kill ME? Are you insane! I'm not the only one who's noticed that you're the only character that isn't bashed into a pulp then danced on in stiletto heels in this fic. And she's more biased to me then you! I think I'm pretty safe Misto.
Misto: I'm not…You never can tell, I am here.
Voice: Means nothing. You've got a "favorite character shield," fortunately I'm not in this fic so it doesn't apply to me, shorty.
Misto: Sigh. You know I'm one of the tallest Mistoffelees ever.
Voice: Starts laughing again. That's pitiful! That makes it even worse!
Misto: Well, since you're not in this fic, you're not shielded either.
Voice: Don't even try it.
Misto: But then again, all I have to do is say your name and you WOULD be in this fic, wouldn't you?
Voice: I'm leaving.
Misto: No you don't!
Tumble: Who are you talking to?
Tugger: A peculiar shade of green. Is it gone?
Cassie: Yeah, I cleaned it up while you were barfing.
Exotica: EEK!!
Cassie: Shrugs. I put it somewhere no one would see it.
Voice: You should have destroyed it, bodies have a nasty habit of resurfacing when it is least convenient.
Cassie: What the…? Who's there?
Voice: Oh bother.
Misto: Starts laughing.
Voice: What's so funny squirt.
Misto: YOU said 'Oh bother' Wipes tears out of eyes.
Voice: So what, I'm bored and out of character.
Tumble: What IS your character.
Voice: No one.
Jemi: Are you Grizabella?
Voice: Offended Do I SOUND like Grizabella to you?
Vici: No, but you sound familiar…
Voice: Why I would be familiar to you, I have no idea.
Cassie: Most beautiful voice I've ever heard… Not like anything…
Voice: It's taken you this long to talk about that? Usually people go completely gooey the second I open my mouth… Gets rather tiresome actually, not that I would give up my voice.
Tumble: Well that's all you bloody are is a voice.
Voice: Not true. That's just all I choose to be right now.
Jemi: Well who are you!
Voice: No one of consequence.
Misto: That's a lie!
Voice: All right fine! I thought I was no one of consequence, but no. Apparently, I've 'touched the lives of thousands of people, conveniently teenage girls for the most part' or some such nonsense.
Tugger: Are you giving us clues or something dude?
Voice: No, I was ranting.
Tugger: Oh.
Asparagus: Can we guess who you are?
Voice: I suppose you could…It is a free country.
Jemi: Great-
Voice: Not that I'll answer or anything.
Jemi: Growls
Voice: Snickers Ah cynicism is a beautiful thing.
Misto: Be nice and play their game or I'll just tell them whom you are.
Voice: Fine! Mutters in French.
Vici: Ooo, French, sexy.
Misto: Stoppit!
Voice: Snickers.
Tumble: Well we already know two things…
Voice: Do you?
Tumble: Yeah, you're a man and you're French.
Voice: Sure about that are you? Starts speaking Russian.
Cassie: Speaks Russian back. The two begin to settle into conversation.
Jemi: That's enough! Jeez… Answer yes or no…Voice. Are you French?
Voice: If you mean was I born in France, yes.
Vici: Oh duh! I know who it is! It's-mmf
Misto: Smooching her.
Tumble: You are male right?
Voice: You watch your ass fop, yes I am male. Mutters Uncertain if the same can be said for you…
Jemi: What kind of Cat are you?
Voice: Who has stated that I am a Cat at all?
Jemi: NOT A CAT!? How can you speak to us if you're not a cat?
Voice: I am afraid I am merely an overly perceptive human.
Bomba: Damn, I was starting to get turned onto you.
Voice: I'm flattered, really.
Jemi: If you're not a Cat there's no way we'll be able to guess who you are, just tell us.
Voice: Nah. Get Misto to tell you if you care so much.
Misto/Vici: Otherwise occupied.
Bomba: Slaps Misto's ass.
Misto: I thought we talked about that.
Bomba: Yeah I know, I just wanted your attention.
Misto: What?
Jemi: Voice dude says you can tell us who he is.
Voice: I resent being called 'dude'.
Jemi: Tough.
Misto: If I say your name, you'll officially be in the fanfic.
Voice: Nope, this isn't really a chapter it's just spontaneous bad writing. So all and all, I am safe.
Misto: As if you were ever afraid of anything in your life anyway.
Voice: Am I being lectured? What is wrong with you today?
Misto: I don't know! Do you do psychiatry too?
Voice: A little.
Misto: Add that to the list, man what can't you do?
Voice: Use simplicity in any of its forms?
Misto: Sounds about right. Erik.
Erik: Now you've done it. Trinity's too tired and deranged from lack of sleep to enjoy herself.
Misto: Oh well, her loss.
Erik: Speaking of tired…
Trust me, you don't want to know.
An Apology
I sincerely apologize for the preceding, it was awful and I promise there will be no repeat of it, the next chapter will pick up where the one before this…thing left off. Tootle Pip!
