Sailor Bish
Episode Three
"Of Transfer Students and Rabid Monkeys."
By the HFWS
"Will these two star crossed lovers finally find true happiness? Find out next time, on "Sailor LuvLuv." Episode thirty-five… "The Girl Who Crossed Time to Meet Boy." Will love find a…" Zelgadiss walked in the room and flipped off the TV.
"Gourry why are you watching this crap?" Zel sighed. Gourry smiled.
"I like the sparkles, they're pretty." Gourry said and turned to Tasuki who was toying with his flaming fan creating tiny sparks. Tasuki looked to Gourry.
"Well I think it's shit!" Tasuki shrugged. Zel sat down in a recliner across from the two boys and cleared his throat.
"Did you guys hear about the new transfer student?" He asked. "I heard he left his old school because his girlfriend was mysteriously killed." Gourry blinked.
"Well I heard he got kicked out because he got in some huge fight with his older brother." Gourry added. Tasuki looked up from his fan.
"Didn't one of you tell me that he got kicked out for taking a weapon to school and continually scarfing ramen in class?" Tasuki smirked.
"I don't think a school kicks people out for eating in class because otherwise Gourry would have gotten kicked out…" Zel said quietly.
"Oh…"
"Oh…" The three teenagers all sighed and were silent for a few minutes. Gourry yawned. "This is boring…" A small tapping was heard and Kero entered the room.
"Are you guys ever going to go look for the fourth Sailor Scout???" Kero asked annoyed. "I know he is near… I can feel it, it's just a matter of finding him now!" Gourry smiled good-naturedly.
"Ah well maybe we'll just happen to run into him."
The Next Day…. At School.
Gourry ran frantically around the hallways of his school. "Oh no I'm late for class… I forgot where the classroom was…" he scratched his head. "OH! Was it by that one vending machine with the kit kat bars and pineapple gummies?" Gourry quickly turned heel and ran back towards said vending machine. Gourry rounded the last corner and ran smack into someone… and promptly fell back, as did the person he ran into.
"What the hell??? Why don't you watch where you are going moron… dammit. I was just minding my own business and you randomly happened to run into me!" Gourry looked up at the ceiling.
"Hmmm I wonder."
~Rewinds to previous day~
"Are you guys ever going to go look for the fourth Sailor Scout???" Kero asked annoyed. "I know he is near… I can feel it, it's just a matter of finding him now!" Gourry smiled good-naturedly.
"Ah well maybe we'll just happen to run into him."
~Comes back to reality~
"This just sucks! Here it is my first day at my new school and everyone's treating me weird anyway… what the hell??????" Gourry looked up from his daze and saw the tip of a rusty old sword… pointed straight at his face. Gourry blinked in realization.
"Oooh! You must be the new transfer student who killed his girlfriend and always takes weapons to school!" The person in question face faulted at the utter bluntness of the statement. Gourry sat up and approached the transfer student. "Umm are you… Hey! Ohhhh you've got dog ears how cool!" he said reaching to touch the fuzzy white triangles.
"Squeak squeak," the ears sounded.
"Stop that… get the hell away from me… stop touching my ears!" Gourry blinked.
"Umm okay. Hey what's your name? I'm Gourry Gabriev!" He smiled.
"InuYasha," he glared, "What's it to ya?"
"Ohhhh Hi… InuYasha! Do you happen to have any special powers like that make you dress in drag and have sparkles and stuff??" The white haired dog-eared person in front of him blinked, and wondered if this Gourry had actually damaged his brain when he ran into him.
"Did you hit your head or something?" InuYasha asked. Gourry scratched his head.
"Uhhh no I don't think so… Hey, are you on the fencing team? That's kind of an odd looking sword, but we could use some new members." InuYasha looked to the sword, and back to Gourry.
"Does this look like a sword for fencing???"
"Ohhhh!" Gourry smacked his fist into his palm. "Is that the sword you took to school even though you weren't supposed to? Is that the sword that you fought your brother with…? I bet that's the sword that you killed your girlfriend with, that's why it's all rusty." InuYasha twitched.
"Feh… I don't like to talk about it but if it will stop the stupid rumors… My girlfriend was part of this weird cult that worshipped this little sparkly pink ball, and believed they had ice powers. She was somehow killed in one of their training missions. They say she was killed by a rabid monkey, but I think they killed her or it was some kind of ritual suicide." He sighed. "Her younger sister has the cops on the case…" Gourry blanched.
"You mean there's rabid monkeys running around Tokyo???" Gourry looked positively horrified.
"No…! Moron, I said it wasn't a rabid monkey!" InuYasha growled in frustration.
"Oooh well there aren't that many monkeys in Japan… was it one of those white snow baboon things?" InuYasha was getting slightly annoyed with the dimwitted blonde.
"Umm shouldn't you get to class?" Gourry shrugged.
"Well I have missed so much already because I couldn't find the room. There's not much point to me going to class."
"Oh…"
"I'm hungry…"
"What???'
"Hungry… I need food…" Gourry stated simply and walked over to the vending machine… He purchased a kit-kat and a bag of pineapple gummies. He then proceeded to sit down next to him. "Here… have a kit-kat!" InuYasha nodded and took the candy bar, slowly unwrapping it and savoring all the chocolaty goodness. "Umm you sure eat slow… it's gonna take you four hours to finish that candy bar…" InuYasha shrugged.
"I haven't had a chocolate bar for a while… so sue me."
"Oh… you want a gummy?" InuYasha nodded and took the individually wrapped fruity ring and popped it into his mouth. Gourry smiled. "You know when I was a kid… I used to go to the zoo and look at the monkeys… sometimes they threw poop at me but, there was this one monkey… that I swear used to dance." He smiled in reminiscence… "I named her Vanna." InuYasha just blinked. "So yah I have always had a special fondness for monkeys… I like the little one's from South America… I think they're called spider monkeys." InuYasha spit out the fruity gummy.
"Feh I hate spider monkeys… they're so stupid." Gourry frowned.
"But they're cute…"
"Shut up!" he snapped. InuYasha nibbled the kit-kat.
"Okay fine no more monkeys… but I was wondering, why do you have ears anyway… I mean I have ears, but yours are weird…" InuYasha finished nibbling the chocolate off the second bar.
"Oh… Well my stupid older brother says it's because I'm a hanyou."
"Huh?" Gourry stared clueless.
"It means half demon or something like that… but I don't believe him. I think it's because I have been subjected to radioactive waves from the microwave in conglomeration with the Styrofoam cups used in "cup 'o' ramen" stuff I used to eat." He sighed. "There is a reason why I only eat the stove cooked ramen now."
"Oh," Gourry said pretending to know what he was talking about, "Are you sure you weren't just born with them?"
"Actually I don't know… I've tried to forget most of my childhood because it involved my brother being stupid and annoying." There was a silence for a few moments before the bell rang. InuYasha and Gourry looked up from their candy to see a swarm of bishounen leaving their classrooms. Gourry heard heavy footsteps and looked up to see Zel standing over him.
"Why did you skip class?" Zelgadiss asked.
"I got lost…" Gourry sighed.
"Again?" Gourry nodded. Zel glanced over to the boy who was sitting next to Gourry nibbling a kit-kat. "Is this the new transfer student," he said when he noticed the hilted sword.
"Oooh yeah this is InuYasha, I ran into him!" Gourry said.
"Literally," InuYasha added. Zel blinked.
"Oh you're the transfer student who supposedly killed his girlfriend right?" InuYasha glared.
"Why does everyone think that?????" he yelled. Gourry smiled.
"Oh no, InuYasha didn't kill her, it was a rabid monkey… maybe a snow baboon." Gourry scratched his chin, "I wonder if the monkey killed her with flinging poo…"
"Gourry that's stupid…" InuYasha and Zelgadiss said at the same time. Zel sighed.
"Gourry we have a meeting with Kero tonight at eight p.m. I don't know what kind of plans you have… except eating, but be there at my house." Zel stated.
"Well I was planning on going to the arcade tonight, they got this cool new game where…."
"That's nice Gourry," Zel said slightly annoyed. "And I suppose you are going to make me come along?" Gourry nodded.
"It will be fun!" Gourry smiled, "InuYasha you wanna come?"
"I guess I could come along. It's not like I'm gonna study." Zel sighed.
"Fine I will come and watch you two make yourself look like idiots." Zel shook his head.
The trio reached the arcade around three 'o' clock p.m. and were surprised to see a large banner across the door reading.
"The Third Annual BuyoMark Arcade Dance Dance Revolution Smackdown"
"Sponsored by your friendly WacDnlds!"
"Ooh DDR!" Gourry said… "I've never been too good at that, but I still wanna play some games."
"Dammit this means the arcade is going to be really crowded," Zel muttered. InuYasha grinned.
"Ha!" he said. "I was the best at DDR at my old school…" he said loudly than lowered his voice to a mumbled whisper, "Of course my brother always kicked my ass, but I know for sure he was cheating."
"So you wanna enter InuYasha?" Gourry asked.
"Yah sure… I wanna kick some ass, and it's a good thing I happen to have my lucky DDR hat on." InuYasha adjusted his cap, a blue baseball cap with yellow text reading "Bad." Zel blinked.
"That hat is really stupid," he said plainly. InuYasha got defensive.
"I got it when I won my first DDR match, and I haven't ever lost with it on," he lowered his voice, "Except to my brother who cheats…" he said quickly. Zel rolled his eyes, and the trio walked in the arcade.
Insert extremely competitive DDR smackdown competition here
And now… the finals!
"This is great! InuYasha made the finals," Gourry exclaimed, "His lucky hat must really be working!" Zel shrugged.
"Or it could be because his brother isn't competing…" InuYasha walked over with a smug smile on his face.
"You're looking at the future BuyoMark DDR Champion here!" he clenched his fist, "Unless the final competitor is my stupid brother who cheats." InuYasha walked off.
"Well I hope he wins!" Gourry said, "Maybe then people will believe he didn't kill his girlfriend and that the monkey did."
"Ladies and Gentleman," the announcer said, "Introducing our final match of the third annual BuyoMark DDR Smackdown, sponsored by your friendly WacDnlds! Our first competitor, that diva of dance, that belle of busting a move, that star of stepping in time… two time BuyoMark DDR champion… Buyomark's own… Kagome Higurashi!" The crowd cheered as the perky black haired schoolgirl stepped onto the machine. "And our second competitor, Newcomer to the tournament, but still not to be forgotten, the not so "bad" dancer… InuYasha… and uhhh the last name is smudged." InuYasha stepped onto the platform and waved. "Are you ready to revolutionize the world with dance?" InuYasha and Kagome nodded. "Let's rock!" And they began. InuYasha stepped feverishly quick in time to the beat, and Kagome did the same… after some number of songs it looked like they were tied. "This is a very close match," the announcer exclaimed, "Truly the most exciting ever to occur at BuyoMark! It looks like we are going to have a final tiebreaker! Whoever wins this one wins the match… its sudden death!" InuYasha glared at his competitor and she looked back. "One two three… go!" InuYasha had never played DDR so well, even when he was with his brother who cheated.
"I'm gonna win, I'm gonna win…" he said to himself, his confidence soaring. It was at that moment that he lost his concentration… and missed one step. As the final arrows rolled across the screen, and the song ended, InuYasha and Kagome stopped and began breathing deeply, waiting for the scores to appear on the screen. Kagome looked supremely confident, and was justified when the screen showed a perfect score for her, and one missed step for InuYasha… InuYasha just blinked. "Damn! I would have won if it wasn't for the distracting spinny animation on this particular DDR song!" Kagome smiled over at her competitor…
"Congratulations, InuYasha you did well, I hope to compete against you again." InuYasha looked away and scowled. The announcer cleared his throat.
"Wow what a competition, they both put up a good fight, but Kagome Higurashi wins by a small margin… she is now the three time winner of the BuyoMark DDR smackdown sponsored by WacDnlds!" Kagome waved at the audience and turned back to her competitor, bowing lightly in a polite gesture between competitors. InuYasha blinked in surprise (his brother never did this!) and proceeded to nod and bow politely as well. As he came up from the bow though, his lucky cap fell off. Kagome and InuYasha gasped and both reached for the fallen hat. InuYasha felt a slight tug on the other side of his hat and looked up to see Kagome holding it as well. InuYasha stared at her a moment before she said something.
"Uhhh," she stammered, "You dropped your hat…" InuYasha nodded and took the hat.
"Thanks…" he said with a light blush. Kagome smiled.
"No problem," she said… "You did well…" she looked up at him. "Oooh you have ears! Those are so cute!" InuYasha sighed and prepared for the inevitable as Kagome tweaked his ears. InuYasha grumbled and smushed the cap back on his head. Kagome giggled.
"So you uhhh work here huh?" InuYasha asked her quietly. Kagome nodded.
"Yes I do, my family owns the arcade." InuYasha sighed.
"Ooh so I guess I'll see you around… I just uhhh moved here." He said nervously. Kagome smiled.
"That would be nice." InuYasha nodded quickly.
"I'm gonna beat you next time!" he said, saying the first thing that came to mind.
"Oh?" Kagome said slightly amused. He nodded again.
"Yeah the swirly images distracted me, but if it was another song… I would have won!" Kagome shook her head.
"Well I think you did pretty well… even with the swirly images," she replied. "Hold on, I'll even get you a consolation prize." She walked off and came back with something behind her back. "Here you go," she said and handed it to him. InuYasha just blinked.
"A stuffed pink bunny?" he said and stretched its arms, then touched the small dark pink ribbon it wore. "What kind of prize is this???" Kagome laughed.
"Well there isn't much cool I can give you, I mean it's an arcade, we basically just have ufo plushies and stuff… I thought it was kind of cute." She sighed. InuYasha looked down at the plush.
"Uhh thanks…" he said. "See ya around I guess." Kagome nodded enthusiastically and InuYasha walked off with the bunny back over to Zel and Gourry.
"Hey InuYasha you did really well!" Gourry complimented. Zel sighed.
"Yes, nice job… let's go Gourry we have a meeting to get to." The blonde looked to the bunny in InuYasha's arms.
"Ohhh that bunny is cute!" he grinned. Gourry proceeded to take the bunny from the disgruntled DDR runner up's hands and set it on top of InuYasha's head, it's arms flopping over the side of the "bad" cap.
"What are you doing?" InuYasha asked with a twitch. Gourry thought for a moment.
"Oh! The bunny can protect your ears from rabid monkeys!" He nodded. Zel glared over at Gourry.
"Gourry, drop the monkey thing, it's getting really old." Zel muttered dangerously. Gourry nodded.
"Well okay, because actually it was probably a snow baboon." Zel sighed.
"Whatever…." Gourry looked back over at InuYasha who had removed the bunny from his head and was now dangling it by one of its ears.
"So why were you talking to that girl? Gourry asked. "Did she remind you of your dead girlfriend that you didn't kill, but was killed by rabid mon--- I mean snow baboon?" InuYasha blushed lightly and turned away.
"Feh! Maybe if you stood on your head and squinted she would look kind of look like her." InuYasha's ears twitched as he heard someone approach the group, he looked up to see a redhead in a Nascar jacket.
"Hi guys… what ya'll doing? Tasuki said as he approached Gourry and Zel. "Ya guys missed the meeting with Kero tonight," he gestured to the little creature in his arms that was currently pretending to be a stuffed toy. "Kero figgered you two would be here… so he interrupted my Jeff Gordon documentary on ESPN2 and made me come." Zel just shook in utter disbelief at his homestyle friend. Tasuki looked over to InuYasha, "Who are you… hey I like your hat!" Tasuki gave a thumbs up.
"InuYasha, this is Tasuki… Tasuki, InuYasha…" Zel introduced. Tasuki came to a sudden realization.
"Oh are you the new transfer student who got kicked out of his old school for scarfing ramen in class?" InuYasha raised an eyebrow.
"The hell? Well that's a new one."
"Oh that and he got blamed for killing his girlfriend who was actually killed by a rabid snow baboon!" Gourry added.
"Gourry I forbid you to talk about snow baboons now." Zel snapped. There was a silence for a moment and then Zel sighed. "Let's go…" Tasuki and Gourry nodded and began to head out the door.
"I think I'm gonna stay here a little longer and play some games," InuYasha said. Gourry smiled knowingly.
"Well you have fun flirting with the girl who beat you in the DDR match!" InuYasha turned away. "Oh and don't let her get killed by rabid primates!" Zel looked at him surprised.
"Gourry… primate? How do you know that big a word?" Zel asked.
"Oh I read it in my monkey book… it has proboscis monkey on the cover… I love it; did you know that some kinds of baboons use wooden tools? Often they make these tools themselves." Zel stopped in his tracks.
"Stop it Gourry… you're scaring me." The trio of scouts exited the arcade leaving InuYasha with his bunny. InuYasha looked down to see that something had just entered the arcade. It was a small yellow creature with a wand… that wore a pink diaper. InuYasha blinked.
"What the hell? That's a weird toy." He said to himself. The creature looked in his direction and uttered one single word.
"Puuchuu!" It tilted its head at InuYasha and walked towards the nearby counter. InuYasha just stared in disbelief as the door opened again, and about fifteen more of these creatures entered.
"The hell?" he said. "I must be seeing things… It's probably because of that spinny animation…. Well when my brother thought I was sick he used to stick my head in the sink…. Then again he may have just been trying to drown me, but I guess it could be worth a try." InuYasha walked off to the arcade bathroom, and proceeded to submerge his head in a sink, giving up when he discovered that it just gave him a headache and got water up his nose. It was then that he heard a panicked yell and the bathroom door slamming. He looked up to see a young boy gasping for breath and squeezing a fat brown and white cat. InuYasha read his nametag… "Hello My Name is Souta Higurashi… how may I help you." He stared at the boy. "What do you want?" Souta hugged the cat tighter.
"My sister was kidnapped… I thought you could help because you are so good at DDR!" InuYasha paled as he pieced things together.
"Your sister Kagome?" he asked. Souta nodded.
"Yes she was just kidnapped," he reached in his pocket and pulled out a tiny wand, a purple stick with three loops on top. "All they left was this." InuYasha's eyes darkened.
"It was those damn cute things…" he said, "The one's that looked at me all evilly and said "Puuchuu." Souta gasped.
"You know who kidnapped her?" he exclaimed. InuYasha nodded. "Would you please go save her? I mean you do have a sword even if it's really tattered looking…" InuYasha didn't say anything and just ran out of the arcade… following the scent of the devious cute things.
Sailor Bish Sez!
"Huh… What am I supposed to say… something morally correct… I dunno what to say. Talk about something intelligent? Uhh I know about monkeys… I read in my monkey book. The smallest of the apes is the Gibbon… which weigh from 12-20 pounds. Their very long arms are adapted for swinging through trees. Several kinds of Gibbon live in Southeast Asia and Indonesia… The Siamang Gibbon, which is the largest gibbon is known for it's loud cries, amplified through a throat sack. I like baboons too. Baboons breed throughout the year when not pregnant or nursing… the females come on heat…"
"SHUT UP ABOUT THE MONKEYS!!!" Zel yelled.
Next time on Sailor Bish!
There is an evil… greater than any other… and InuYasha has gone to face it alone, will he find his Powers as Sailor Jupiter and save Kagome in time…? Or will it be too late?
NEXT TIME
"Sailor Jupiter and the Lair of Cuteness!"
You won't want to miss it!
A.N.- Yup there were a lot of subtle references to other animes in here… kudos if you got them ^^ Just a note… if you are wondering where the heck "BuyoMark" came from… well it's the official ice cream of Sengoku Jidai! As seen in this doujinshi… http://www.ainself.net/kelly/crap/buyomark.jpg I looove this doujinshi…. Must scan more.
This chapter was scribed by KellyChan… with much help from Jennie Starwind.
Ohh the first chapter of Sailor Bish has fanart… by Jennie Starwind!
http://www.mediaminer.org/fanart/view.php?id=120328
The new Chapter of Sailor Bish is written… and just needs to be htmled… look for it tomorrow or Tuesday!
