Title: A Meditation on Masks
Author: Mac
Summary: A phone call triggers a reflection.
Story: Single character POV
Rating: G

Disclaimer: All things CSI belong to CBS, et al. All other things are of my creation.

Author's Note: This story is dedicated to the newest member of my family, my nephew (who is currently less than a day old), Jacen Paul. May I corrupt you into being a scientist before you are in middle school.

**A Meditation on Masks**

The phone woke me up at that point where you were neither quite asleep nor awake. Grissom had sent me home after working three days non-stop on a case. Everything had been going fine and dandy until the mini conference in Grissom's office. At least she had convinced him to leave as well.

I found the missing piece after spending half the day on the computer. When I was in school, I never thought that my insomnia and addiction to the computer lab would come in handy as a forensic scientist. As a research physicist, yes, but not as a forensic scientist.

My roommate from college was on the other end. We had both been the nerds of our wing, preferring to wake up on a Saturday morning and do homework, rather than sleep in and recover from a hangover as a result from the previous evening; that way we could go to a party that night without feeling guilty. We double dated several times, acting as a chaperone for each other. We were the only ones on our floor that roomed for the entirety of our college career, and vowed that we wouldn't slip away from our friendship upon graduation. And we hadn't. Every Saturday she would call me in the afternoon and I would call her on varying days during the week. More often though, I would drop her an e-mail.

The words coming down the line ramble on, just like usual. My thoughts are halted by the words "of course, you'd be Auntie Sara." Auntie Sara? I'm an only child, how can I be an aunt. Wait she wants me to go visit her, Craig, and the baby? Would I be willing to stand with them for the baptism and accept the role of godmother? Ye gods!

I may not understand people very well, but Sarah and I have always been on the same level. Sort of like Grissom and myself. I'll admit I have crush on the guy. I mean who wouldn't? He's not too tall, but he's not short. He expects you to be respectful of all things science even if it goes right over your head. I was floored by his seminar several years ago. I'll admit that I wasn't all too keen about bugs, but after working in the coroner's office for a few years I had a healthy respect for them. When the seminar came up, I was chosen as the youngest member of the shift to attend a three-day forensic seminar. Doctor G. Grissom was the keynote speaker.

Not many people enjoyed his speech, in fact several people left during the middle of it disgusted. But I was mesmerized. He had dedicated himself to a science wholly and it didn't faze him that others thought him to be gruesome. I spent as much time as possible in his workshops. When I found out he was staying at the same hotel I was, I was thrilled. Over the course of the three days I learned a lot. And that's what I crave most when I'm around him.

The pursuit of knowledge. That is what I hope I am able to do contribute to by emulating him. He teaches me something different every time we work together. Not everything he teaches comes straight from him. Some of Catherine's influence is there, mixed with his words. I know she knows about me. I think that's why she was as distant as she was when we first met, but I also know that isn't who she is. We all wear masks to protect ourselves from the world, afraid to let anyone see who we truly are. Except to only a few special people. She and I have a few things in common. One of them is we get to see the real Grissom. No one really sees who I am.

"Hey, Sara. You still there?"

"Yeah. I'm still here. I just got lost in thought."

"Really? Thinking about the bug-guy?" Sarah was really the only one who knew me well enough to see through the mask I wear. I had told her about the conference so often that she accused me of being in love with the speaker. I denied it, but did admit that I would love it if he thought of me as something other than the annoying girl that practically followed him everywhere.

"In a way. So, do you think it's too early to get him a subscription to a science magazine?"

Sarah and I talk about who will be the more corruptive influence on her little boy, his grandparents, parents, or me. Maybe I can convince Grissom to lend a hand, or maybe everyone on the team. As we hang up, I want to share the news with someone. But I don't know whom. Catherine would be the logical choice since she's a mom, an aunt, and a woman. Warrick would be dumbfounded that I was confiding in him. Greg would think I was coming on to him. Grissom. I don't know, I think he would just be blankly staring at the phone wondering why I was telling him this. Nick is my age, he has all sorts of experience with being an uncle, maybe- no, that would just lead to questions I don't want to answer. Maybe I should start off by joining in on the birthday pool for Lindsey and get her something. It's time that I let someone else in.