Anon: RE your Charmeded "review". A) You don't know the half of it... literally. And B) at least Kit isn't scared of KT :-P *considers telling Anon The Secret* Oh, the people-who-know, how much would Anon die? *grabs knife*

A/N: BoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOO! Anyways. That's us over halfway through the series! Are ya upset? Are ya? Huh? Huh?

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PRUE: INVESTIGATIONS 1.05: MMM... PRINGLES

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INT. KITCHEN. PRUE AND JESSE ARE HANGING ABOUT. NAKED.

PRUE: Where's Penance?
JESSE: She died.
PRUE: Oh. Where's Lierre?
JESSE: He died.
PRUE: Oh. Where's Bucko?
JESSE: Died.
PRUE: Is everbody dying round here?
JESSE: Pretty much yeah. I think it's cos we're playing all these death roulette games.
PRUE: Well let's just play a nice safe game.
JESSE: Ooh! How about 'Catch The Knife'!
PRUE: Yay! With machetes and rabid dogs?
JESSE: Oh that's the dangerous version. I'd prefer to play safe, like you already said.

PRUE SLAPS HER FOREHEAD. SUDDENLY YELLOW ORBS FLOW IN THROUGH THE WINDOW AND SLPIT UP, BEFORE DISAPPEARING INTO PRUE AND JESSE. CONFUSED, THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER.

JESSE: What the hell was that? Jesse asked.

PAUSE.

PRUE: Uh, what? Prue replied uncertainly.

PAUSE.

JESSE: Why are we describing stuff? Jesse demanded. I can't stop myself!
PRUE: Prue felt confusion rise up inside her. I don't know, she told Jesse, but I don't like it either.
JESSE: Well duh, Jesse spat, We could say anything and reveal secret feelings! Like how I love Prue, Jesse added as a thought in his head.

PAUSE.

PRUE: Prue already knew that Jesse loved her, and chooses to ignore it. Ah crap, Prue cried, this blows!
JESSE: I don't get it... what's this all about? Jesse enquired.
PRUE: Well... somebody's cast a spell on us to make us narrate ourselves in the third person, Prue exclaimed!
JESSE: Jesse looked at Prue apprehensively. But that's impossible, he cried. And just plain weird, he added with stunning charm.

... OKAY, IF THEY KEEP DOING THIS, LOOKS LIKE I'M OUT OF A JOB.

PRUE: Eep, Prue whimpered. She then slapped Jesse.

PRUE SLAPS JESSE.

JESSE: After slapping him, Prue realised she couldn't deny her undeniable attraction to Jesse any longer.

NOTHING HAPPENS.

PRUE: It's just you, doofus, Prue spat with disgust. You only narrate your own actions, she added by way of explanation just in case Jesse was too thick to get it.
JESSE: Okay, I don't like this, Jesse whined, trying to disguise the stupendous fear residing inside him. It makes me sound like a wimp.
PRUE: Perhaps it's because you are a wimp, Prue muttered sassily. Ooh, I didn't know I could mutter sassily, she added, with double the sass.
JESSE: Jesse looked upset. How come you come out cool and sassy and I seem like a whiny asshole? he whined.
PRUE: Prue didn't need to answer. But she did. Because you are a whiny asshole, and I am cool and sassy!
JESSE: This is making me frustrated! Jesse yelled and turned into Fheobie.

JESSE... TURNS INTO FHEOBIE. YEAH.

PRUE: With a determined look on her face, Prue stared hard at Fheobie. We have to get to the bottom of this, she told him. This is just gonna put KT out of a job and since Charmeded doesn't belong to her anymore, she's kinda paiged if she doesn't have this.

NODDING, FHEOBIE TURNS BACK INTO JESSE AND THEN GRABS PRUE'S... HAIR, AND THEY SHIMMER OUT. SECONDS LATER, THEY SHIMMER BACK IN.

JESSE: Uh, maybe we should put some clothes on, Jesse suggested nervously.

FADE TO:

BLACK.

CUT TO:

SOME RANDOM CAVE. JESSE SHIMMERS IN CLOSELY FOLLOWED BY PRUE WITH A SOUR LOOK ON HER FACE.

JESSE: Why did you orb out of my shimmer? Jesse asked, somewhat annoyed.
PRUE: You were groping me! Prue yelled.
JESSE: Jesse frowned then shut the phuck up. So do you think this is the place? he asked.

PRUE STARTS EXPLORING THE CAVE.

PRUE: Well this is where the scry took us so I guess so, Prue replied.

THERE IS A HIGH-PITCHED GIGGLE FROM SOMEWHERE IN THE CAVE.

PRUE: Wait a minute, Prue growled, I recognise that voice.

SHE RUNS FURTHER INTO THE CAVE AND JESSE FOLLOWS.

CUT TO: INT. CAVE - CONTINUOUS, BIG CAVERNOUS ROOM. PHOEBE OF CHARMEDED 'FAME' IS SITTING ON A BIG... ROCK. JESSE AND PRUE ENTER.

PHOEBE: I've been expecting you.
PRUE: Well duh, Prue spat, you cast this phrickin' spell on us.
JESSE: Yeah, said Jesse, because he didn't know what else to say. Then he did: why'd ya do it?
PHOEBE: Oh you poor sweet innocent fools. It's obvious.

SILENCE.

PHOEBE: Oh, right. The reason is... no reason, I was just bored over at Charmeded. I mean, Jaded.
PRUE: Jade even changed the name of the show? Prue cried.
PHOEBE: Yup. The new episode's on tomorrow, you should see how she's butchered it. If you thought it was bad when KT ran the show... jebus it's awful. Except there's a great scene in a week's time with me, and holding hands with Vi-
KT(OS): Okay, okay ENOUGH! I don't want to hear anything about that phucking show! I'm taking it back I tells ya! Now get on with it or Phoebe you're phired!
PHOEBE: *sigh* Phine. Okay, yeah, so, in typical feebee style, I cast a little spell.
JESSE: Well duh! Jesse spat.

PAUSE.

PRUE: Well, whorebe, Prue began, phun as it is to narrate ourselves in the third person, make it stop or I'll kill ya.
PHOEBE: Oh. Okay.

PHOEBE CLICKS HER FINGERS.

JESSE: Uh... did it work?
PRUE: That's it? All you had to do was snap your phingers? We could've done that?
PHOEBE: Yup.
PRUE: I'll show you how a phinger is really snapped, Phoebeast! Grahh!

PRUE JUMPS ON FEEBEE AND STARTS BREAKING HER PHINGERS. SCREAMING IN PAIN, FEEBEE SHIMMERS OUT.

JESSE: Meh.
PRUE: You know what Jesse? This is all your phault.
JESSE: Me? How?
PRUE: Duh, because you're the one I'm choosing to blame, doofus.
JESSE: You phrustrating bizatch!

JESSE TURNS INTO FHEOBIE.

FHEOBIE: You suck.
PRUE: You suck liek a 'lyssie'.

FHEOBIE BECOMES JESSE.

JESSE: You always beat me to that one, huh?
PRUE: I have sisters.
JESSE: So did I. Yep, Shrew, Schmeiper, Shmeebie and Shmaige. They're long dead though.
PRUE: Oh, Jesse, I'm sorry.
JESSE: It's okay. After all, I was the one who killed them.

PAUSE.

PRUE: Oh... kay.

THEY ORB AND SHIMMER OUT.

CUT TO: INT. F*CK OFF YELLOW MANSION, PRUE'S BEDROOM. PRUE SHIMMERS INTO THE BED AND FALLS ASLEEP. JESSE ORBS ON TOP OF HER.

JESSE: Oh HOW did I land here?

NO REACTION PHROM PRUE.

JESSE: Uh, Prue?

LIKE I SAID, SHE'S ASLEEP.

JESSE: Aww... I better just let her sleep.

PAUSE.

JESSE STARTS COUGHING *REALLY* LOUDLY.

JESSE: *hopeful* Oh, I didn't wake you up did I?

NOPE. SHE'S STILL ASLEEP.

JESSE: Curses...

HE "PRUEDUCES" A DRUM FROM HIS... HAIR. AND BEATS IT.

JESSE: Beats what?

HE PLAYS A DRUM ROLL. FOOL. BY NOW PRUE HAS WOKEN UP.

PRUE: Was I dreaming or did I hear a really bad but smutty joke?
JESSE: Perhaps both.
PRUE: Shimmer us to the circus, I can't be bothered orbing.
JESSE: What circus?
PRUE: THE circus!
JESSE: But you haven't mentioned anything about any circus all episode! Nyahh Prue you mess my head up so good! AHHHHH!

JESSE TURNS INTO FHEOBIE.

PRUE: Oh don't be such a drama queen.

FHOEBIE BECOMES JESSE AGAIN.

JESSE: So just any old random circus?

PRUE NODS. JESSE HOLDS PRUE AND CONCENTRATES. NOTHING HAPPENS.

PRUE: What the paige?
JESSE: My powers aren't working!
PRUE: How?
JESSE: I don't know Prue, I just can't seem to use my powers! It's like, like I've had a power cut or something.

PRUE DOES A LITTLE DRUM ROLL FOR HIM.

PRUE: Okay, we'll fix it, right?
JESSE: We better.

PAUSE.

PRUE: Well don't just stand there!

JESSE SHUFFLES OVER A LITTLE.

JESSE: Can I stand here then?

PRUE SLAPS HER FOREHEAD.

PRUE: Honestly... I get a new haircut and you all go crazy!
JESSE: Hap! YOU'RE the one who has a totally new look and who disrupted the entire time/space continuem! It's probably your fault I have no powers! Who do you think you are? Phoebe?
PRUE: Ew! No, she like, chopped her hair off, I just got a frelling trim!
JESSE: The trim that destroyed the world!

JESSE TURNS INTO FHEOBIE. PRUE ROLLS HER EYES AND SIGHS.

FHEOBIE: Don't you see? We're all gonna die down here?
PRUE: Down where? We're not 'down' anywhere!
FHEOBIE: *suggestively* You wanna go down?

PRUE SLAPS HIM.

PRUE: Ew I got Fhoebie slime on my hand.
FHEOBIE: I'm not slimy!
PRUE: Then what is this white, sticky- ewww!
FHEOBIE: *shrugs* Not my problem. Anymore.
PRUE: ANYways, what's happ'nin, sweet demon o mine?
FHEOBIE: Half demon.
PRUE: Ew, like Cole. Cole the foal. Shmoal. Cole on the dole. Cole in a hole.
FHEOBIE: Enough with the rhyme, it's a crime.

BOTH STARE AT EACH OTHER.

PRUE: Don't you have somewhere to live?

SUDDENLY THE GROUND BEGINS TO SHAKE.

PRUE: Shiver me timbers! Earthquake! Phoebe-jeebies-o-rama!
FHEOBIE: It's not a quake, it's your hair cut! Bringing about mass destruction and hatred and the apocalypse in general.
PRUE: Look, buddy, I'm phlattered you noticed and all, but we are not revolving this entire series around the fact that I got my hair cut! That's just lame!
FHEOBIE: This is KT we're talking about.
PRUE: ... oh yeah. *acts* Oh, my hair is destroying the world as we know it!
KT(OS): Excellent work!

THE WALLS OF THE FOYM (F*CK OFF YELLOW MANSION) BEGIN TO CRUMBLE.

PRUE: Oh feck, she's really going all out with the effects, huh? Well I'm outta here!

PRUE ORBS OUT. FHEOBIE REVERTS BACK TO JESSE.

JESSE: But Prue! My powers are out of wack, rememeber? I can't shimmer! Prue? PRUE!

A HUGE PIECE OF HOUSE FALLS ON HIM.

SMASH CUT TO:

CREDITS.

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Eep.