A/N: Hey people! Here's the next chapter, thanks for the reviews, you guys are awesome! Over 60... Anyways, on with the insanity!
I don't own Dragonballz
~*~*~*~*~*~
When 17 awoke, a pair of yellow, glassy eyes with catlike slits greeted his vision.
"Not now love, I'm tired. Give me a chance to rest. Hey... I've never had any lovers with eyes that looked like a cat's..."
The android's vision became less blurry, and he finally realized the predicament he was in.
"Shit! An alligator!"
The black haired former ace lawyer flew back as the alligator's jaw barely missed chewing his head off.
"Come back!"
"You can talk? Alligators on Earth aren't supposed to talk!"
"Says who?"
"Good point."
"Anyways, my name is Aphezto, and I'm going to eat you."
"No, no, no. You've got it all wrong. I'm 17, fighter android, and I'm going to eat YOU to get my strength back."
"Hey, aren't you the lawyer who lost his own trial?"
"Shut up!!"
"Yeah, I heard you were a jailbird, but it looks like you've flown the coop. What's that yellow light in your hands?"
"It's... a flashlight!"
"It's the middle of the afternoon."
"I have bad eyesight."
Before Aphezto could say anything more, 17 fricasseed the alligator with a carefully controlled ki blast, making sure not to burn the skin. He hated burnt skin on meat more than anything. Amazingly, the cooked alligator smelled absolutely delicious.
"Yum..."
17 began to scarf down the reptile as fast as he could, eating every single piece he could. Poor Aphezto didn't even have his eyes left, 17 was so ravenous. After 17 picked his teeth with Aphezto's ribs, he felt an incredible surge of energy, and then remembered that he had kidnapped Piccolo.
"Where is that Namekian cop anyhow?" he mused, worried that he might have woken up and flown away or something to that effect. Luckily for him, Piccolo was still unconscious, on the highway. Apparently Aphezto didn't eat Namekians.
"Hahaha. I will have my shoot out after all! Now, after Goku!!"
17 slung Piccolo over his shoulder and took off like a rocket, giddy with his newfound energy.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chiaozu sat on the edge of the bed, smoking a cigarette, whilst Krillin rested his head on a pillow, panting like a dog after a really long walk.
"Was it as good for you as it was for me?" breathed Chiaozu.
"Hell yes."
"Do you want to do it again?"
"Oh Kami yes... but not now. I'm tired."
"All right. How about ten o'clock tonight?"
"Baby yes, you know I like them dark hours."
"So we'll try the Stairmaster again at that time?"
"Of course... but how can you exercise properly if you smoke?"
Chiaozu sighed a tad, then his eyes watered over. He started bawling loudly, and Krillin rushed over to comfort his newfound exercise partner and lover.
"What is it?"
"I could have been an Olympic champion... back when I was younger, I was going to be a long distance runner, but then... I joined up with some people... they convinced me to smoke... AND NOW I'LL NEVER GET THE GOLD METAL!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"
"Now then, stop this nonsensical crying. You're an EMPEROR for Kami's sake. You could OWN the Olympics, and you could pay for all the gold medals you wanted."
"Really?" the red cheeked emperor sniffled.
"Really."
"Even the bronze and silver medals?"
"Of course baby."
Chiaozu smiled and pounced on Krillin, where the two started to have a little 'quality time' if you know what I mean.
"Um, no offense Chiaozu, but, uh... do you have a magnifying glass?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Goku flew, and flew, and flew and flew and flew and flew, when he FINALLY reached the top of Mount Fry-Pan.
"YEEEEEAAAAH! Who's the man? Who's the man? I'm the man! Me, Goku! I'm the man!"
"And a very sexy man you are at that."
"Of course - hey, where's that voice coming from?"
"Come closer my meaty manly man."
"Where are you?"
"Walk forwards twenty paces."
Goku stepped ahead twenty paces, eager to see the body of the wonderful, womanly voice he could hear across the distance. She would certainly have to be beautiful. No one with a voice like that could be ugly... or could they?
"Okay... I've walked ahead twenty paces, what do I do now?"
"Close your eyes."
"But I want to see you!"
"You will, just co-operate with me here, jeez. Can't people ever follow instructions?"
"FINE."
Goku shut his eyelids and stood there, the anxiety growing as nothing seemed to happen. Then, he heard footsteps, which got louder, and louder. Suddenly as pair of sensuous lips were pressed to his, and Goku proceeded to ravish them. The mystery woman clung onto the well-built saiyajin, who in return grabbed her behind.
Curiosity, however, had grabbed a hold of poor Goku and just would not let go. So, he opened his eyes to see the luscious woman before him and...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
17 looked around, puzzled, confused and hyper.
"Who in the hell could have possibly screamed so loud? And so HIGH? Oh well."
The android turned to Piccolo, his jet black hair sweeping over the Namek's unconscious form.
"Soon, Sheriff, soon I will have my shoot out, and no one can stop me!! Mwuhahahaha! Mwuhahahaha! I really must build a submarine lair."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Who on earth could have made such a terrible noise? My poor trees are cringing."
The group looked upon Popo the fairy as if he was nuts, except for Trunks who was going insane over the absence of glue.
"No, this can't be happening... I couldn't have run out! I have to have more, there's got to be a pocket in here SOMEWHERE!!"
"Look boy, that's a saiyajin suit. It's made of spandex, and there are NO pockets. I have no idea where you got the glue from before."
Trunks' eyes went wide at Vegeta's words, and he started to bawl like a sissy.
"WAAAAAA-mmph!"
18 effectively cut off Trunks' noise with a kiss, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief, at least until the horrible scream was heard, AGAIN.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHH!!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The sound of Goku's screaming shook Hercule's tree house, causing the soap carving of Jane Goodall to fall off the table and break in two.
"Noo! Janey, speak to me, tell me you're still there!"
A mournful silence filled the hut, bringing Hercule to tears.
"I will avenge you Janey! Whoever screamed shall know my wrath, and don't think I can't do it, because... I'M THE STRONGEST MAN IN THE WORLD!!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ya like? I certainly do hope so. Let me know what you think, all comments/criticisms are accepted, but don't waste my time and yours with "you suck" or "your fic sucks" without a valid explanation or proof. I'm perfectly fine if you find I suck, but at least give me some evidence of this fact. Bye!
I don't own Dragonballz
~*~*~*~*~*~
When 17 awoke, a pair of yellow, glassy eyes with catlike slits greeted his vision.
"Not now love, I'm tired. Give me a chance to rest. Hey... I've never had any lovers with eyes that looked like a cat's..."
The android's vision became less blurry, and he finally realized the predicament he was in.
"Shit! An alligator!"
The black haired former ace lawyer flew back as the alligator's jaw barely missed chewing his head off.
"Come back!"
"You can talk? Alligators on Earth aren't supposed to talk!"
"Says who?"
"Good point."
"Anyways, my name is Aphezto, and I'm going to eat you."
"No, no, no. You've got it all wrong. I'm 17, fighter android, and I'm going to eat YOU to get my strength back."
"Hey, aren't you the lawyer who lost his own trial?"
"Shut up!!"
"Yeah, I heard you were a jailbird, but it looks like you've flown the coop. What's that yellow light in your hands?"
"It's... a flashlight!"
"It's the middle of the afternoon."
"I have bad eyesight."
Before Aphezto could say anything more, 17 fricasseed the alligator with a carefully controlled ki blast, making sure not to burn the skin. He hated burnt skin on meat more than anything. Amazingly, the cooked alligator smelled absolutely delicious.
"Yum..."
17 began to scarf down the reptile as fast as he could, eating every single piece he could. Poor Aphezto didn't even have his eyes left, 17 was so ravenous. After 17 picked his teeth with Aphezto's ribs, he felt an incredible surge of energy, and then remembered that he had kidnapped Piccolo.
"Where is that Namekian cop anyhow?" he mused, worried that he might have woken up and flown away or something to that effect. Luckily for him, Piccolo was still unconscious, on the highway. Apparently Aphezto didn't eat Namekians.
"Hahaha. I will have my shoot out after all! Now, after Goku!!"
17 slung Piccolo over his shoulder and took off like a rocket, giddy with his newfound energy.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Chiaozu sat on the edge of the bed, smoking a cigarette, whilst Krillin rested his head on a pillow, panting like a dog after a really long walk.
"Was it as good for you as it was for me?" breathed Chiaozu.
"Hell yes."
"Do you want to do it again?"
"Oh Kami yes... but not now. I'm tired."
"All right. How about ten o'clock tonight?"
"Baby yes, you know I like them dark hours."
"So we'll try the Stairmaster again at that time?"
"Of course... but how can you exercise properly if you smoke?"
Chiaozu sighed a tad, then his eyes watered over. He started bawling loudly, and Krillin rushed over to comfort his newfound exercise partner and lover.
"What is it?"
"I could have been an Olympic champion... back when I was younger, I was going to be a long distance runner, but then... I joined up with some people... they convinced me to smoke... AND NOW I'LL NEVER GET THE GOLD METAL!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"
"Now then, stop this nonsensical crying. You're an EMPEROR for Kami's sake. You could OWN the Olympics, and you could pay for all the gold medals you wanted."
"Really?" the red cheeked emperor sniffled.
"Really."
"Even the bronze and silver medals?"
"Of course baby."
Chiaozu smiled and pounced on Krillin, where the two started to have a little 'quality time' if you know what I mean.
"Um, no offense Chiaozu, but, uh... do you have a magnifying glass?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Goku flew, and flew, and flew and flew and flew and flew, when he FINALLY reached the top of Mount Fry-Pan.
"YEEEEEAAAAH! Who's the man? Who's the man? I'm the man! Me, Goku! I'm the man!"
"And a very sexy man you are at that."
"Of course - hey, where's that voice coming from?"
"Come closer my meaty manly man."
"Where are you?"
"Walk forwards twenty paces."
Goku stepped ahead twenty paces, eager to see the body of the wonderful, womanly voice he could hear across the distance. She would certainly have to be beautiful. No one with a voice like that could be ugly... or could they?
"Okay... I've walked ahead twenty paces, what do I do now?"
"Close your eyes."
"But I want to see you!"
"You will, just co-operate with me here, jeez. Can't people ever follow instructions?"
"FINE."
Goku shut his eyelids and stood there, the anxiety growing as nothing seemed to happen. Then, he heard footsteps, which got louder, and louder. Suddenly as pair of sensuous lips were pressed to his, and Goku proceeded to ravish them. The mystery woman clung onto the well-built saiyajin, who in return grabbed her behind.
Curiosity, however, had grabbed a hold of poor Goku and just would not let go. So, he opened his eyes to see the luscious woman before him and...
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
17 looked around, puzzled, confused and hyper.
"Who in the hell could have possibly screamed so loud? And so HIGH? Oh well."
The android turned to Piccolo, his jet black hair sweeping over the Namek's unconscious form.
"Soon, Sheriff, soon I will have my shoot out, and no one can stop me!! Mwuhahahaha! Mwuhahahaha! I really must build a submarine lair."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Who on earth could have made such a terrible noise? My poor trees are cringing."
The group looked upon Popo the fairy as if he was nuts, except for Trunks who was going insane over the absence of glue.
"No, this can't be happening... I couldn't have run out! I have to have more, there's got to be a pocket in here SOMEWHERE!!"
"Look boy, that's a saiyajin suit. It's made of spandex, and there are NO pockets. I have no idea where you got the glue from before."
Trunks' eyes went wide at Vegeta's words, and he started to bawl like a sissy.
"WAAAAAA-mmph!"
18 effectively cut off Trunks' noise with a kiss, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief, at least until the horrible scream was heard, AGAIN.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHH!!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The sound of Goku's screaming shook Hercule's tree house, causing the soap carving of Jane Goodall to fall off the table and break in two.
"Noo! Janey, speak to me, tell me you're still there!"
A mournful silence filled the hut, bringing Hercule to tears.
"I will avenge you Janey! Whoever screamed shall know my wrath, and don't think I can't do it, because... I'M THE STRONGEST MAN IN THE WORLD!!"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ya like? I certainly do hope so. Let me know what you think, all comments/criticisms are accepted, but don't waste my time and yours with "you suck" or "your fic sucks" without a valid explanation or proof. I'm perfectly fine if you find I suck, but at least give me some evidence of this fact. Bye!
