A/N: Hello people! Thanks for all the reviews, they mean so much to me... *sniff*. On with the madness!

I don't own Dragonballz

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"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!"

Goku jumped backwards with such a tremendous force that he almost fell off the mountain. He sat there, at the edge, whimpering and clenching his eyes shut, but to no avail. The gorgeous saiyajin could still see the horrible sight before him, even with his sight cut off.

A rather feminine man with jet-black hair that reached his butt stood there, wearing a glittery dress that went down to mid-thigh, leaving Goku with a view of his very hairy legs. The mystery man had a long purple scarf that didn't match the forest green dress all that well. He had an incredible amount of rouge, both on his lips and cheeks. His eyes gave Goku the impression of a drag queen. His hands were small and petite, his arms hairy and his face adorned a scar that ran along the side of his right cheek.

"Dammit, this ALWAYS happens. I told you not to look, but did you listen? NooOOOooo. You had to go peek. Why is everyone so afraid of me? I'm the most beautiful creature existing on this planet, goddammit!"

Goku finally got the courage to open his eyelids, and shuddered at the sight before him. Seeing the scar, he suddenly recognized the ugly cross dresser across the way.

"Yamucha! You used to be a burger flipper out at that fast food place by Vegetasei before it closed down."

The scarred man turned his head around sharply and glared at Goku. If looks could kill, the world would have collapsed.

"Don't say that name! It's no longer my name! No one should know it's me! I used to be so ugly... but after Korin gave me this make-over... I've been so much better looking... I even got a job because of it."

"Well, it sure looks like Korin's work..." Goku shuddered at the mental image of Korin in the saloon girl dress invading his mind. Then something hit him. "What do you mean by 'used to be'?"

"Obviously a fighter like you has too few brain cells to appreciate my true beauty."

Goku suddenly had a coughing fit, which sounding suspiciously to Yamucha like a cover for insults. Surprisingly, Goku was actually having a coughing fit... it was from the excess of cheap perfume that adorned Yamucha's body, which smelled DISGUSTING when mixed with the transvestite's body odour.

"Anyways, I got this job guarding the Fry-Pan-Princess many years ago, and I get paid real swell!"

"Swell?"

"What, are you too stupid to understand that word?"

"No, just that it's extremely outdated. By the way, is there perchance a monster lurking around the castle?"

"Of course not!" sputtered an indignant Yamucha. The muscle bound saiyajin then realized that this horrid atrocity of a man was, indeed, the monster guarding the castle.

"I see... I have to go see the Fry-Pan-Princess."

"I can't let you do that."

"Why not?"

"Strict orders... no one goes in."

"No one?"

"Well..." Yamucha sauntered up to a rather puzzled Goku, who turned scared as he wrapped a leg around the saiyajin's. "I suppose we could work something out..." Yamucha brushed his hand against Goku's face, petting it like one would a cat. "...for a price."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Goku ran from Yamucha so fast that he actually left an imprint of himself in the castle walls. Even his hair made a cut through the silver brick. Yes, silver... the entire fortress was made of it, as well as some cherry wood for intricacies.

"Oh shit... I'm gonna lose my job for this... woe is me!"

Yamucha sobbed on the mountaintop, his tears making his mascara run down his face, and his makeup smear.

"I KNEW I should have used waterproof mascara."

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"There's that damn scream again. What is up with that?"

Krillin was growing uneasy, the high pitched screams were wearing down on his comfort level, not to mention his libido. In fact, he and Chiaozu had to stop their 'activities' because the noseless fighter was so troubled.

"Krillin hun, it's probably the baboons off in the jungle or something. Come to bed."

"It sounded so human... and it came from further away, I know it. I just KNOW it."

"Just let it go... I want you, come here."

Out of nowhere, Krillin suddenly snapped.

"Sex, sex, sex! That's all you ever thing about! Well I'm sick of it, and sick of you! You don't give a damn about me at all! I might as well be your pleasure slave!"

The thong-clad warrior picked up a rather large, expensive drawer and threw it across the room, breaking the chandelier above the two vertically challenged lovers.

"I'm leaving, my husband was far better to me than you EVER were. Sure, we had our disagreements... why the hell were we fighting over how to cook Kraft Dinner anyways? Well, anyhow, at least he cares about me!"

"You'll never find anyone who can give you the passion that I can!"

"He's so much higher than you when it comes to sex, and in fact, it's not sex, it's LOVEMAKING, because I love him, and he loves me!"

With that said, Krillin stormed out of the palace, and had almost gone out of the palace, when he realized he had forgotten something.

"I have GOT to try out that chess board before I leave."

Meanwhile...

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"We made it! We're out of that jungle! No more vampiric toucans, no more Hercule, and best of all, NO SNAKES TRYING TO GET INTO MY THONG!!"

The entire group all turned their heads away from Vegeta, raising their eyes in worry. It didn't last long though, for everyone was giddy at the prospect that they had reached Mount Fry-Pan.

"Dude, how are we going to get up there?" wondered Yajirobe aloud.

"Well, Sir Flabby, I can fly, Vegeta can fly... Popo can fly but he can't carry anyone... um, Trunks, can you fly?"

"...it's gone... how will I live? Why, why do you forsake me oh great God of glue? I have always been faithful... no other brands have I tasted... why? It's not fair..."

"Well I wouldn't trust him flying, even if he CAN. Vegeta, you carry Yajirobe, I'll take Trunks, and Popo can go up on his own."

"That's very kind of you, but I can't go with you." said the coconut fairy, who had guided them out of the jungle.

"Why not?" asked 18, who had really become fond of the fat mythical creature... and also very fond of coconuts, of which Popo had an endless supply.

"I must stay in the jungle and protect it, make sure the weather patters go properly, and I also act as a midwife for many of the animals."

"Midwife?" asked Trunks, confused about the subject and finally acting as if he had some sanity.

"I'll tell you when you're older."

"But 18..." he whined.

"Quit whining! And nobody else explain it to him either."

The lavender-haired half breed began sulking, just as Popo bade them farewell and flew off back to the tropical forest, brown coconut skin falling off him as he flew.

"That fairy needs a damn brassiere for his OWN coconuts."

"That's not very nice Vegeta!"

"It wasn't very nice for you to wish me into indecency either, ANDROID!"

18 shrugged. "Oh well. It's darn fun though." She grinned, openly appraising Vegeta's form. The poor saiyajin wished he was back in the jungle with leaves to hide him, then remembered the snakes and took back the wish. Fate could be very evil to him if he wasn't careful.

"Let's haul ass."

Vegeta hefted the hefty Yajirobe over his shoulder and took off like a bullet up towards the castle atop Mount Fry-Pan, 18 and Trunks close behind.

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