A/N: Hi everybody! Thanks for all the reviews I've received, you guys are the greatest.
I don't own Dragonballz
~*~
On planet Frieza, a huge rebellion was being planned. Frieza, Videl, Tien and Cell were stocking up on ammunition and giving motivational speeches to the large army they had acquired.
"Remember, the Empress is evil! Pure evil! No matter what she may say or do, you must not trust her!" yelled Frieza.
A resounding "YEAH!" echoed throughout the large ice cavern. Apparently, there were a lot more good people in the universe than originally thought. Frieza turned and walked away from his army to go and chat about attack plans with Videl.
"Is everything ready?"
"Yep," said Videl, who had just hiked her HUGE fluorescent yellow dress up so she wouldn't trip while kicking evil's rear. "I just had it confirmed by Radditz. Now is the time to strike! The ALL-POWERFUL UNDERWEAR EMPRESS BLOOM is pregnant, and knows not by who. Her mental state is no longer within the reaches of..." Videl paused to do the little quote sign with her fingers. "'sane'."
"Excellent work, my minion. Cell darling!"
Cell bounded in gaily, a huge smile plastered on his face. He had abandoned his flower wreath and control top panty hose for the very same army dress that 'Posh' spice had worn in that unbelievably STUPID movie 'SpiceWorld'.
"Yes Frieza? Oh, thank you SO much for the dress, it doesn't even cut into my wings or anything! I feel so moblile!" Cell enveloped Frieza into a tender embrace. Videl gagged, and Tien was nowhere to be found, most likely painting his nails someplace.
"Right then." Frieza went back outside with the other two present and addressed the crowd once more. "MEMBERS OF THE NEW REBELLION!! WE ATTACK THE PLANET THONG AND ITS MOST VILE EMPRESS..." Frieza paused for effect; the silence among the ranks was deafening. "NOW!!!!"
A huge battle roar erupted from the ice cave, and hordes of fighters climbed into their ships to go attack the dreaded planet Thong.
~*~
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
Five minutes passed.
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
One minute passed.
"Are we THERE yet?"
"NO."
Thirty seconds passed.
"ARE we THERE yet?"
"No!"
Two seconds passed.
"ARE WE THERE YET?"
"FOR THE LOVE OF KAMI NO!!! NO, NO AND NO, WE'RE NOT THERE YET!!!" screamed the distraught saiyajin prince at his rather annoying future son.
"Geez, I was just asking. Don't have a cow."
"NO! It's an earthling expression!" Vegeta ran from the bridge into another room, leaving everyone rather confused.
Yajirobe had become MUCH fatter, and his mumu was getting a little small.
"Hey Trunks..."
"Yeah 18?"
"Do you still have any little powers left, you know, so we can get Yajirobe something that fits him? Those man boobs of his keep getting bigger each time he eats something. It's rather scary."
"I wish I could... but I don't have any left."
"What?" said 18, dangerously calm. Trunks skittered a few feet away and started to hyperventilate.
"It'sallyourfaultyou'retheonewhowishedthatIwasnormalandnotagenie!"
18 huffed, took her anger out on Krillin's ass and locked herself into a room.
"Ow... my ass hurts..." whined Krillin, who was most likely going to have a permanent bruise. The fry-pan-princess was still in the burlap bag, still unconscious, which was a relief to anyone who wanted to keep their eardrums.
~*~
"So then I was like, wooaaah, and then she stuffs the pina colada in the container and goes swwwisshhhh..." Piccolo giggled and took another sip of his Bloody Mary.
"Hehe, rock on... there's dis one time, when, when.... I dunno anymore. Haaaaave you ever triiiied blue cheese, P-Piccolo?"
"It's... it's the beee's knees though, eh? IIIIIOOOOOOOO!!"
"Gyahahaha! What'cha doooin, Friar Tuck?"
"I ain't no fire truck!"
The two drunken men roared with laughter, and did not notice 17 behind a crate of beer, watching their every move.
"Soon my pretties... soon."
~*~
Bulma paced back and forth, back and forth. Dabura was in a cage, hoping desperately that the baby was his so he could live another day. You see, Bulma's doctor/father was evaluating the paternity test, and Bulma was very anxious for the results.
"Don't get your hopes up Dabura."
She was constantly reminding the demon king the fate he was most likely to receive (like she just did), when all of a sudden...
"ALL-POWERFUL UNDERWEAR EMPRESS BLOOM! YO, I HAVE SUCCEEDED IN MY TASK OF BRINGING YOU YOUR COOK, DUDE!!"
Bulma turned her head to where the deep voice was coming from, and sure enough, there was Yajirobe, standing there with a man clad in spandex with a beehive (Trunks for our intellectually deficient readers), a blond haired woman with a slightly sadistic gleam in her eye (18), a burlap bag with a bunch of holes in it (ChiChi), a short bald man in a thong (Krillin), and Prince Vegeta.
"Mightily fat bounty hunter!" yelled the empress. "I don't see my cook!"
"One second." Yajirobe opened the burlap bag to reveal none other than...
"The Fry-Pan-Princess! Excellent work, you tub of lard. Radditz!! Get in here!"
Radditz came in, wearing a big coat that had dyed purple fur over a set of what looked like warm lavender long underwear.
"Radditz... what in hell's name are you wearing?"
"A jacket over long underwear, your dastardliness."
"I can see that you numbskull! I ask you though, what COLOUR is it."
Radditz's eyes closed and a veins seemed to pop out of his head. He then lifted his hands up to sky and screamed. "ATTAAAAAACK!!"
A few crickets chirped, nothing more.
"Damn that Frieza, he's always late!"
"You traitor!" screamed Bulma. With a snap of her finger, a nameless henchman put Radditz in the same cage as Dabura. "Anyways, well done, bounty hunter. You shall now have the treasure!!"
Bulma pulled back the curtain, expecting to see the vast hoard of expensive things, but all she saw were a pair of beady red eyes in the darkness.
"What in the universe...?"
"Go, my minions! FLY AND DESTROY!!" Frieza and his army poured from all the corners of the palace, and they fought with the army of nameless henchman that Bulma had at her disposal.
"Damn those rebels!! How did they get so strong??" Bulma screamed and jumped up and down on her throne, yelling obscenities constantly.
"Holy pms." commented Vegeta, rather loudly.
"It's not pms, she's pregnant!" Dabura managed to scream.
"WHAT???!!" Vegeta's and Trunks' outburst went unnoticed, and so did the arrival of Dr. Briefs.
"I have the paternity test results!"
Well, THAT didn't go unnoticed. The entire palace hushed as Dr. Briefs slowly took the piece of blue paper out of the manila envelope.
"Am I gonna be a... a daaaady?" Everyone turned around to see a drunken Piccolo and Goku swaying baaack and forrrth as they tried to stand up straight.
"No waaaay Pi-Pi-Piccolo-lo-lo, youuuu can't be a daddy, you can't even have SEX!"
"Suure I can... woah... pretty purple..."
"Stop looking at my underwear!" cried Radditz, covering himself with his fur coat.
~*~
What happens next? Where did 17 go? Will this ever end? (Yeah, I think next chapter will be the last *tear*). Hope you liked it, leave a review please!
I don't own Dragonballz
~*~
On planet Frieza, a huge rebellion was being planned. Frieza, Videl, Tien and Cell were stocking up on ammunition and giving motivational speeches to the large army they had acquired.
"Remember, the Empress is evil! Pure evil! No matter what she may say or do, you must not trust her!" yelled Frieza.
A resounding "YEAH!" echoed throughout the large ice cavern. Apparently, there were a lot more good people in the universe than originally thought. Frieza turned and walked away from his army to go and chat about attack plans with Videl.
"Is everything ready?"
"Yep," said Videl, who had just hiked her HUGE fluorescent yellow dress up so she wouldn't trip while kicking evil's rear. "I just had it confirmed by Radditz. Now is the time to strike! The ALL-POWERFUL UNDERWEAR EMPRESS BLOOM is pregnant, and knows not by who. Her mental state is no longer within the reaches of..." Videl paused to do the little quote sign with her fingers. "'sane'."
"Excellent work, my minion. Cell darling!"
Cell bounded in gaily, a huge smile plastered on his face. He had abandoned his flower wreath and control top panty hose for the very same army dress that 'Posh' spice had worn in that unbelievably STUPID movie 'SpiceWorld'.
"Yes Frieza? Oh, thank you SO much for the dress, it doesn't even cut into my wings or anything! I feel so moblile!" Cell enveloped Frieza into a tender embrace. Videl gagged, and Tien was nowhere to be found, most likely painting his nails someplace.
"Right then." Frieza went back outside with the other two present and addressed the crowd once more. "MEMBERS OF THE NEW REBELLION!! WE ATTACK THE PLANET THONG AND ITS MOST VILE EMPRESS..." Frieza paused for effect; the silence among the ranks was deafening. "NOW!!!!"
A huge battle roar erupted from the ice cave, and hordes of fighters climbed into their ships to go attack the dreaded planet Thong.
~*~
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
Five minutes passed.
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
One minute passed.
"Are we THERE yet?"
"NO."
Thirty seconds passed.
"ARE we THERE yet?"
"No!"
Two seconds passed.
"ARE WE THERE YET?"
"FOR THE LOVE OF KAMI NO!!! NO, NO AND NO, WE'RE NOT THERE YET!!!" screamed the distraught saiyajin prince at his rather annoying future son.
"Geez, I was just asking. Don't have a cow."
"NO! It's an earthling expression!" Vegeta ran from the bridge into another room, leaving everyone rather confused.
Yajirobe had become MUCH fatter, and his mumu was getting a little small.
"Hey Trunks..."
"Yeah 18?"
"Do you still have any little powers left, you know, so we can get Yajirobe something that fits him? Those man boobs of his keep getting bigger each time he eats something. It's rather scary."
"I wish I could... but I don't have any left."
"What?" said 18, dangerously calm. Trunks skittered a few feet away and started to hyperventilate.
"It'sallyourfaultyou'retheonewhowishedthatIwasnormalandnotagenie!"
18 huffed, took her anger out on Krillin's ass and locked herself into a room.
"Ow... my ass hurts..." whined Krillin, who was most likely going to have a permanent bruise. The fry-pan-princess was still in the burlap bag, still unconscious, which was a relief to anyone who wanted to keep their eardrums.
~*~
"So then I was like, wooaaah, and then she stuffs the pina colada in the container and goes swwwisshhhh..." Piccolo giggled and took another sip of his Bloody Mary.
"Hehe, rock on... there's dis one time, when, when.... I dunno anymore. Haaaaave you ever triiiied blue cheese, P-Piccolo?"
"It's... it's the beee's knees though, eh? IIIIIOOOOOOOO!!"
"Gyahahaha! What'cha doooin, Friar Tuck?"
"I ain't no fire truck!"
The two drunken men roared with laughter, and did not notice 17 behind a crate of beer, watching their every move.
"Soon my pretties... soon."
~*~
Bulma paced back and forth, back and forth. Dabura was in a cage, hoping desperately that the baby was his so he could live another day. You see, Bulma's doctor/father was evaluating the paternity test, and Bulma was very anxious for the results.
"Don't get your hopes up Dabura."
She was constantly reminding the demon king the fate he was most likely to receive (like she just did), when all of a sudden...
"ALL-POWERFUL UNDERWEAR EMPRESS BLOOM! YO, I HAVE SUCCEEDED IN MY TASK OF BRINGING YOU YOUR COOK, DUDE!!"
Bulma turned her head to where the deep voice was coming from, and sure enough, there was Yajirobe, standing there with a man clad in spandex with a beehive (Trunks for our intellectually deficient readers), a blond haired woman with a slightly sadistic gleam in her eye (18), a burlap bag with a bunch of holes in it (ChiChi), a short bald man in a thong (Krillin), and Prince Vegeta.
"Mightily fat bounty hunter!" yelled the empress. "I don't see my cook!"
"One second." Yajirobe opened the burlap bag to reveal none other than...
"The Fry-Pan-Princess! Excellent work, you tub of lard. Radditz!! Get in here!"
Radditz came in, wearing a big coat that had dyed purple fur over a set of what looked like warm lavender long underwear.
"Radditz... what in hell's name are you wearing?"
"A jacket over long underwear, your dastardliness."
"I can see that you numbskull! I ask you though, what COLOUR is it."
Radditz's eyes closed and a veins seemed to pop out of his head. He then lifted his hands up to sky and screamed. "ATTAAAAAACK!!"
A few crickets chirped, nothing more.
"Damn that Frieza, he's always late!"
"You traitor!" screamed Bulma. With a snap of her finger, a nameless henchman put Radditz in the same cage as Dabura. "Anyways, well done, bounty hunter. You shall now have the treasure!!"
Bulma pulled back the curtain, expecting to see the vast hoard of expensive things, but all she saw were a pair of beady red eyes in the darkness.
"What in the universe...?"
"Go, my minions! FLY AND DESTROY!!" Frieza and his army poured from all the corners of the palace, and they fought with the army of nameless henchman that Bulma had at her disposal.
"Damn those rebels!! How did they get so strong??" Bulma screamed and jumped up and down on her throne, yelling obscenities constantly.
"Holy pms." commented Vegeta, rather loudly.
"It's not pms, she's pregnant!" Dabura managed to scream.
"WHAT???!!" Vegeta's and Trunks' outburst went unnoticed, and so did the arrival of Dr. Briefs.
"I have the paternity test results!"
Well, THAT didn't go unnoticed. The entire palace hushed as Dr. Briefs slowly took the piece of blue paper out of the manila envelope.
"Am I gonna be a... a daaaady?" Everyone turned around to see a drunken Piccolo and Goku swaying baaack and forrrth as they tried to stand up straight.
"No waaaay Pi-Pi-Piccolo-lo-lo, youuuu can't be a daddy, you can't even have SEX!"
"Suure I can... woah... pretty purple..."
"Stop looking at my underwear!" cried Radditz, covering himself with his fur coat.
~*~
What happens next? Where did 17 go? Will this ever end? (Yeah, I think next chapter will be the last *tear*). Hope you liked it, leave a review please!
