A/N: This the last chapter! Thanks for all the reviews!

I don't own Dragonballz

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"Your underwear is long, why should you care?" asked 18 matter-of-factly. Radditz didn't have an answer so he sat at the bottom of his cage and sulked. Suddenly, a blur of colour entered the room, laughing maniacally.

"SHOOT-OUT!!!"

"Oh (hic) no...we don need thish..." said Goku, clinging onto Piccolo's antennae for support.

"Hey you! Get your dirty saiyajin hands off my son's antennae!!" The crowd stared in shock as Piccolo Daimou walked in, a nameless slut on each fur-covered arm that he held out.

"Faaaaather?" asked Piccolo.

"You're drunk! You're not a sissy do-gooder anymore! I'm so proud!" Daimou went and gave Piccolo a hug, which resulted in the younger Namek getting groped by the nameless whores as well.

"Daaaaaaaaaaaad... I wanna...I wanna go...to YOUR CLUB!!" Piccolo finished, yelling drunkenly.

"That's my boy!" Daimou instructed one of the nameless whores to pick up his son and carry him out to their awaiting ship. Soon, the Namekians were gone, and 17 was in tears.

"No...it's not possible..." the raven-haired android sniffled. He then bawled loudly while clinging onto 18's jeans.

"Bro...get off. These cost a lot and I don't need your damn tear stains on them."

"My shoot-out...it'll never happen."

"Your brother's crazy, man."

"Gee, whatever prompted you to observe that, lardass?" 18 spat to Yajirobe.

"DOES ANYONE STILL CARE ABOUT THE PATERNITY TEST RESULTS?" yelled Dr. Briefs. The palace hall became silent once more the lavender-haired man cleared his throat and began to read off the blue piece of paper. "The father is..." The doctor paused, delighting in how everyone was holding in their breath, except for Trunks, who was glaring at Vegeta like he had just come from the depths of hell.

"What? You don't think it's me, do you?" he whispered incredulously.

"Actually, Prince Vegeta...you ARE the father."

Everyone's mouth dropped to the ground, save Trunks', for he was chasing Vegeta around the throne room screaming saiyajin obscenities not suitable for ANYONE's ears.

"I didn't know it was her! Android! Call your boyfriend off and GET ME OUT OF THIS GODDAMN THONG ALREADY!!"

"Hmmm...I didn't hear the magic words."

"What the hell?" yelled Vegeta, ducking to his right to avoid the large man-eating plant that his future son had thrown at him. "I don't need your fortune-teller mumbo-jumbo right now! Get him off!"

"I can't believe you did that, you fu-"

"Language, and don't you DARE speak to MY husband like that!" yelled Krillin.

"Oh yeah? Bring it on, small fry!"

"It's already been BRUNG!!"

This, of course, resulted in sheer pandemonium, with Trunks and Krillin in a catfight, 18 trying to shake 17 off her leg, and Bulma trying to remember which button would turn on the napalms inside Dabura's cage. Of course, her concentration was distracted when Frieza leaped onto her throne.

"DIE, BITCH!" the ugly effeminate man yelled, clawing at Bulma's face.

"My face! No, don't touch my beautiful face."

"It's not that beautiful." muttered Vegeta.

"Oh yeah? You thought I was pretty hot when you were SCREWING ME!! Aaagh! Do you have any idea how much those nails cost me?!"

THIS got Krillin's attention. He was so fuelled by his anger that Trunks was knocked unconscious.

"Vegeta...you slept with her?"

"You slept with that midget emperor!"

"...I'm sorry!"

"...and I'm screwed, because now I'm a father. If it's any consolation, you're much better in the sack."

"Thanks love!"

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT IN PUBLIC!"

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, ChiChi was now awake, and trying to figure out what the hell was going on...and more importantly, why she was in a burlap bag. So, being the loud, obnoxious, dangerous female that she was, ChiChi leapt out of the bag and yelled at the top of her lungs.

"What the HELL is going on here and WHY was I stuffed in a burlap bag? Somebody better answer me, NOW!!"

Once again, everyone hushed. After all, it wasn't every day you got to see the Fry-Pan Princess. Most of those gathered had thought she was just a legend. Now, of course, they knew different.

Bulma shoved Frieza off the throne and explained to ChiChi why she was there and what exactly was going on. Once she had finished, Radditz and Dabura had snuck out of the cage and were trying to escape.

"FREEZE! You're not going anywhere. BABADI!!!" Babadi appeared.

"Yes, your poisonousness?"

"I'd like you to include Dabura and Radditz on your cooking show! Mwuahahahaha!"

"Nooooo!!" the two screamed as they were carried away by Babadi's magical powers.

"You know what? Screw this shit, I'm not cooking for you!" screeched ChiChi. "I'm going off with MY Goku for a honeymoon!" True to her word, the earthling slung the drunken gi-clad saiyajin over her shoulder, exited the palace and took Goku's ship to a peaceful planet FAR AWAY from Thong.

17 miraculously stopped crying and decided to go join the modelling industry along with Bardock, so he got up and left to find a Victoria's secret agent. His sister, bored out of her mind, picked up Trunks and left for Namek, so she could tell fortunes outside Unfeva night club. Bulma, being so evil, forgot that good ALWAYS triumphs, and ended up inside the cage that Dabura and Radditz once occupied. Vegeta and Krillin followed 18, determined to get their ability to wear non-revealing clothes back.

~*~

So then, Frieza became the meticulously good and clean overlord of the universe, with Videl as his chief advisor, Cell as his consort (Frieza thought calling people sex slaves was bad) and Tien as his cook. Tien turned out to be a very good cook, and Bulma was kicking herself for not hiring him earlier. Of course, she didn't get much time to eat, since she was the royal septic system cleaner. Dabura and Radditz were free to do whatever they pleased, so Radditz went to join the Victoria's secret modelling, and was reunited with his father. Dabura killed himself in his grief because Bulma didn't love him, and no one really cared.

A few months past, and Bulma gave birth to her son, not without substantial screaming and bitching during labour of course. At Bulma's request, Frieza asked Vegeta to be there during the labour, since he WAS the father and all. After Krillin whined for a while about how it was his responsibility, Vegeta DID come, but refused to go near the former empress while she was in labour. This was for a good reason, since she snapped Buu's hand while he held hers. It was previously deemed impossible that Buu had any bones...but Bulma proved otherwise.

Also at the birth were 18 and Trunks, who had recently become engaged. Trunks was there to make sure he didn't grow up to be a lunatic like himself. Bulma named the baby, Vegeta bitched about how stupid the name was while Trunks glared at him, and 18 was still gloating over the huge-ass diamond ring she was sporting, since Trunks had a job as an assassin and it paid VERY well.

Trunks grew up to be...well...Cell and Frieza raised him, we just won't go any further on THAT topic. Vegeta and Krillin grew old together, and were able to wear normal clothes again, as did ChiChi and Goku, only Goku got REALLY fat because of all that good cooking. Piccolo and his father ran the night club, Trunks and 18 got married AT the night club, and Yajirobe... Yajirobe, the star of our story... Yajirobe got a haircut, went on The Zone diet and got a job doing commercials for Subway.
END!

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