Chapter 8
Rite-Aid
The school bell rang, signaling the end of the day. As usual, I went to visit Chidori for a quick chat.
"Konnichiwa, Yuuhi-kun!" Chidori called to me.
"Hey." Then I remembered. I wanted to get more razors today.
"How long are you staying today?" she asked.
I thought for a second. "Maybe only five minutes or so. I have an errand to run." I smiled at myself. An errand.
Chidori was silent. She was looking at her arms. What was she thinking? It kind of looked like she was looking at old scars..
Quietly, so that nobody but Chidori would hear me, I asked her, "You cut yourself?"
Chidori shook her head.
"Looks like you're looking at some old scars."
Chidori nodded this time. "I did. I used to. But not anymore. Cause I went to the hospital and then they won't let me cut anymore."
"Ah." I paused. "Maybe I should get going now."
I walked off laughing to myself. She thinks I'm running an errand! An errand! Something to do as a favor to do for another.. Not going on a mission to be able to hurt yourself better.
I arrived at Rite-Aid. Shit. I gotta look like I'm not here for cutting. I just ran out of razors and need more. Just an innocent guy..
Ah ha! I found the razor section. Mens razors, womens razors. Refills. Yes. I smiled to myself, and looked at them. Fifteen double edged chrome blades. Perfect. And only five dollars.
Again, I laughed to myself. Razors were like a drug to me. Except cheaper. Why would people waste so much money on drugs when they can cut themselves?
As I waited in line to purchase the blades, I grew nervous. What if the cashier knew what I was up to? ...Nah. I could just be some guy who needs refills for his razor. Perfectly innocent.
For once, my wishes were fulfilled. Nobody seemed to be suspicious of me. And I had fifteen new precious razors.
Waiting at the bus stop and riding home, I grew anxious. I couldn't wait to get home and cut. Lock myself in the bathroom, cut, wipe off the blood.
Luckily, the trip was short, and in no time, I was ripping the packaging open. I pulled out a razor a little too quickly and cut myself. I chuckled to myself. Accidentally cutting yourself when planning to cut yourself. Blood filled the gap in my thumb and trickled over my finger.
I pulled a razor out, and wondered what to do with it. So many places over my body. Where to start? Then, suddenly, I pulled my shirt over my head and pulled the razor down my shoulder. It didn't bleed. It didn't hurt. My next step was only natural: to cut again, and deeper. This time, I felt pain, and uncontrollably recoiled. Damn. That prevented me from cutting deeper. But by this time, my first cut was bleeding heavily, and a sharp pain ran throughout the entire length of the red line on my shoulder. Beautiful. My pathetic skin covered in a shining shade of red. I ran my finger over the blood and licked it. As I expected, it tasted metallic, which I found rather unpleasant. Oh well, so I'm not a vampire. Just because I dislike the taste of blood doesn't mean that I dislike the look of blood or the feeling of pain.
I might as well have been in heaven; the pain felt so good, the sight of blood eased my eyes, and the thrill enticed my mind. When was the last time I had been this happy? What else pleased me this much? Never. Nothing. It screamed plain and clear into my mind: I love to cut! Not only that, I thought I might even be addicted. Addicted? To cutting? Was it even possible?
**Author's note: Yes! Cutting is VERY addictive. Don't start. Or at the very least, be aware before starting. Trust me. I am a cutting addict, and I'm working on my third attempt at quitting. I hope this is a case where the third time's a charm. And I bet you're hoping to get back to the story. Ha. Too bad. I'm ending the chapter. R&R, and tell me if this fic has gotten to the point where I have to change the rating to R or not.**
Rite-Aid
The school bell rang, signaling the end of the day. As usual, I went to visit Chidori for a quick chat.
"Konnichiwa, Yuuhi-kun!" Chidori called to me.
"Hey." Then I remembered. I wanted to get more razors today.
"How long are you staying today?" she asked.
I thought for a second. "Maybe only five minutes or so. I have an errand to run." I smiled at myself. An errand.
Chidori was silent. She was looking at her arms. What was she thinking? It kind of looked like she was looking at old scars..
Quietly, so that nobody but Chidori would hear me, I asked her, "You cut yourself?"
Chidori shook her head.
"Looks like you're looking at some old scars."
Chidori nodded this time. "I did. I used to. But not anymore. Cause I went to the hospital and then they won't let me cut anymore."
"Ah." I paused. "Maybe I should get going now."
I walked off laughing to myself. She thinks I'm running an errand! An errand! Something to do as a favor to do for another.. Not going on a mission to be able to hurt yourself better.
I arrived at Rite-Aid. Shit. I gotta look like I'm not here for cutting. I just ran out of razors and need more. Just an innocent guy..
Ah ha! I found the razor section. Mens razors, womens razors. Refills. Yes. I smiled to myself, and looked at them. Fifteen double edged chrome blades. Perfect. And only five dollars.
Again, I laughed to myself. Razors were like a drug to me. Except cheaper. Why would people waste so much money on drugs when they can cut themselves?
As I waited in line to purchase the blades, I grew nervous. What if the cashier knew what I was up to? ...Nah. I could just be some guy who needs refills for his razor. Perfectly innocent.
For once, my wishes were fulfilled. Nobody seemed to be suspicious of me. And I had fifteen new precious razors.
Waiting at the bus stop and riding home, I grew anxious. I couldn't wait to get home and cut. Lock myself in the bathroom, cut, wipe off the blood.
Luckily, the trip was short, and in no time, I was ripping the packaging open. I pulled out a razor a little too quickly and cut myself. I chuckled to myself. Accidentally cutting yourself when planning to cut yourself. Blood filled the gap in my thumb and trickled over my finger.
I pulled a razor out, and wondered what to do with it. So many places over my body. Where to start? Then, suddenly, I pulled my shirt over my head and pulled the razor down my shoulder. It didn't bleed. It didn't hurt. My next step was only natural: to cut again, and deeper. This time, I felt pain, and uncontrollably recoiled. Damn. That prevented me from cutting deeper. But by this time, my first cut was bleeding heavily, and a sharp pain ran throughout the entire length of the red line on my shoulder. Beautiful. My pathetic skin covered in a shining shade of red. I ran my finger over the blood and licked it. As I expected, it tasted metallic, which I found rather unpleasant. Oh well, so I'm not a vampire. Just because I dislike the taste of blood doesn't mean that I dislike the look of blood or the feeling of pain.
I might as well have been in heaven; the pain felt so good, the sight of blood eased my eyes, and the thrill enticed my mind. When was the last time I had been this happy? What else pleased me this much? Never. Nothing. It screamed plain and clear into my mind: I love to cut! Not only that, I thought I might even be addicted. Addicted? To cutting? Was it even possible?
**Author's note: Yes! Cutting is VERY addictive. Don't start. Or at the very least, be aware before starting. Trust me. I am a cutting addict, and I'm working on my third attempt at quitting. I hope this is a case where the third time's a charm. And I bet you're hoping to get back to the story. Ha. Too bad. I'm ending the chapter. R&R, and tell me if this fic has gotten to the point where I have to change the rating to R or not.**
