A/N: OMG I LOVE YOU GUYSSSS!!!!!!!!! *tears up and then sneezes* ugh. it's the sniffle season here, and. I GOT THE SNIFFLES! UNCOOL! Anywhoo, I've had a pretty bad case of writer's block. ONLY THREE WEEKS LEFT UNTIL I'M ALLOWED TO PLAY DURING THE WEEK AGAIN. as long as I don't fail anything. I don't know, I think my mom might not have heart attack if I fail English because I've been studying really hard. the teacher has these terribly horribly violent mood swings. just the other day she was all happy and nice and then like an hour later I pulled out a comic book in the library 'cause I'd finished all my homework and she bit my head off. eesh. Arg, but I don't want to fail!!! I want straight A's and with this stupid English class I don't think that's gonna happen. A.L.S.O. I had this god awful Latin quiz this morning, which was EVIL! Waaah, I think I failed that too. But I didn't study for that, until I remembered that there was a quiz five minutes before class started. but that's okay because I've been getting like straight 100's in Latin anyway, but I do have a test Monday, which is never a good thing. I hat babble languages. AGH! Lets see: Next week, I have a Latin test, a Geography test, an Algebra test and an IPC test, a quiz in study skills, and I have to present my project in Dance. Feel the pain.. If I do bad on any of these I don't get to play 'pooter any more. *sob* and why am I even telling you all this? BECAUSE THE FATE OF ALL IN MY FAN FIC DEPEND UPON IT!!!

Also, another note: O__o woah. everyone gave me feedback on the tickle me elmos and pillow fights. I never really noticed that there were pillow fights in other fics. ^___^ it just sorta randomly appeared on the page.. Ahem. I shut up now.

Disclaimer: um??? I have the sniffled and a glotter lava lamp. I don't own much else, and certainly not Escaflowne.

YET ANOTHER NOTE: ^_____^ The fruits basket series is really, really, really good!!!! Go watch it!!! O__o ANYWHOO..

THREE Oh, Lady Hitomiiii," twinkled Merle, "you look soooooo beautiful!" Hitomi glared at her reflection. Merle had shoved her into the frilliest dress in existence- ivory with pale green leaves stitched all over the frilled skirt. Poofy sleeves, tight corset. it was fairly fashionable. Hitomi tugged uncomfortably at it.

"Merle, I can't move in this thing," said Hitomi. "As Van would say, Just screw it."

"Oh, Van, eh?" asked the cat girl, sprouting a fanged, mischievous smile. "Don't you want to look pretty for him?"

"I don't care what Van thinks. In fact, I don't think what any man thinks. They're all sniveling, lowly creatures."

"Sniveling and lowly or not, you're wearing the dress," snapped Merle. "And you're going to behave yourself at dinner or your legs will be my new favorite scratching post."

"Merle, you'd tear the dress first. I refuse to wear this monstrosity. There's too many frills and bows and too much lace and, for heaven's sake, I can't breathe! Can't we pick something different?" the queen wheezed. Merle glared, but repented.

"Fine. But it has to have green in it," said Merle. Hitomi thankfully loosened the laces in the front, wincing slightly as the corset peeled away from her raw chest. There were deep red gashes across her skin.

"Flaming Fire-newts," said Hitomi, inspecting the damage. "That dress did more damage than Zaibach with that damned luck machine of theirs. Let me choose," said Hitomi as Merle picked out yet another monstrosity. She looked through the closet filled with dresses from Allen's many lovers, and finally selected a light, white slip and a translucent, gauzy over dress.

"But Hitoomiii, that's so plain," whined Merle.

"I don't care. I want my real clothes back, and I'm not wearing one of those awful frilled things," said Hitomi, ripping off the wretched, poofy dress and pulling the slip over her head. Over that, she put the pale green dress, and over that a solid, velvet emerald skirt that opened to reveal the layers below. Hitomi fastened the black corset over the whole thing, creating a nice, contrary effect.

"Oh, Lady Hitomi, that looks even better," said Merle. Hitomi looked in the mirror, and was slightly pleased at the effect. The dress clung in the appropriate places and billowed out in others. It looked, over all, very nice.

'Van won't be able to resist me in this,' thought Hitomi with a twisted smirk, then her eyes went wide. 'No, no, no, no, no. I don't care about him. Kanzaki, you don't care. He's just very, very nice looking, with raven hair that spills lightly into his eyes and- no! Shut up!'

"Shut up!" yelled Hitomi out loud, causing Merle to give her an odd look. The queen colored as she put her hand over her mouth.

"I didn't say anything," she said as Merle began coiling her long, sandy- blonde hair up on top of her head in an elegant bun.

"I'm sure," said Merle sarcastically as she inserted black, jeweled chopsticks into the bun. Hitomi pulled on some night-black gloves, and re- checked her appearance.

"I'm off," said Hitomi, stepping out into the hallway. "Merle, if you get into any trouble at all for lurking outside the dining room."

"I won't," mewed Merle, with an innocent-yet-guilty look. Hitomi resisted the urge to kick the little cat girl in the rib cage, and instead contented herself with lacing up her shin high, velvet black boots and left the room, knowing that Merle would eventually follow. Hitomi whacked her knuckles against Van's door.

"Please let him be gone please let him be gone please let him be gone, please let him be gone, please- Oh, hello Van. Are you coming up to dinner?" Hitomi asked, putting on her best 'the queen will kill you if you say no,' smile. Van stared at her, all over her.

"Um, yeah," he said, stepping out of the room barefooted.

"Van. you need shoes."

"Shoes, right, shoes," he laughed nervously, and then walked back into his room, still staring at Hitomi.

"Is there something on my face?" Hitomi asked incredulously. "Um, Van, that's you left boot," she mentioned with a satisfied smirk as he tried to jam the boot onto his right foot.

"Oh, right," he said, his cheeks flushing as he looked down and put the boots on the right feet. "Are we gonna go shove our faces or what?" he asked, standing up and giving Hitomi a very funny look that caused butterflies to form in her stomach. No, wait, it was a dragon and it was about to explode.

"Uh, um, yes, yes, we will go glove our spaces."

"You mean dove our aces."

"Shove our cases?"

"Love our faces..." Both Van and Hitomi flushed red at this.

"Let's go," said Hitomi.

"Right," said Van, and they hurried down the hall, both redder than the other, which was definitely saying something.

.:*:.~.:*:.~:.:*:.

"Queen Hitomi, I would like you to meet the lady Millerna," said Allen. "She is my guest."

"And I am not? I think you would take me for a prisoner, or a prize," said Hitomi angrily, glaring at the knight.

"Whoa! Dude, you sound like something outta Shakespeare or something," said Van, picking up a glass of funny looking pink stuff that he had been eyeing just before Millerna walked in and Allen... Van picked up the glass and sipped it. It was good! He chugged the glass.

"That's some good shit," he said happily, leaning back in his chair. Hitomi, Millerna, and Allen all stared at him- then the knight burst out laughing.

"That's the first time I've ever seen someone drink a whole glass of wine from the south at a time."

"Yeah, well, it's really good," said Van, taking another big sip of the drink as a servant re-filled the glass. "Wine, huh? It's almost as good as vanilla coke, or maybe even the cherry slushies at school that taste really alcoholic." Bottom of the cup. Darn. Wait, here comes the servant, re- filling it. Yay! "Say, Did I -hic- ever tell you about Baseball?" third glass halfway gone. Hitomi made a disgusted noise and pushed back from the table as Millerna and Allen watched Van's antics in amusement. She walked out into the hall illuminated my moonlight, and in seconds Merle had crept over and settled at her side with a "Meow!"

"Yeah, Baseballs really really fun. It's like. it's like.. you see that fork?"

"Yes," said Allen.

"Well, you take the fork, and you attach little legs to it with clay, and then you get a camera and take pictures frame by frame, and in each frame you move it, right?"

"Right," said Millerna. By now, Van was almost done with his fourth glass.

"And then, you get this giant thing," said Van, gestulating wildly with his hands. "Like, maybe a giant wine glass or something. Like my wine glass. hey. where did it go?"

"You dropped it on the floor," said Allen.

"Darn. That means I lost some of that really really good shit. But, yeah. You get this big thing and you take a whole bunch of pictures of the fork slowly getting buried in more stuff. Like sand. Or wine, or. yay! Another glass!"

"Go on," urged Millerna, laughing a bit.

"And then you take the fork and use it to strike a spark against a rock wall loaded with dynamite. And you record that too, but not picture-by- frame. And then you blow up! And you watch it on the camera after you get out of rehab for being a pyro, and that's that!" ended Van in a slurred voice.

"And this is baseball?" asked Allen as Millerna began to turn pink.

"What? What's baseball again? Oh yeah! Where you hit stuff with stuff. No, it's not boose ball."

"Boose ball? But what does the 'camera' and the fork have to do with that?"

"Oh, the camera and the fork! I did that once. It was fun. Hey, have you ever read "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe?"

"No," said Allen again as Millerna turned a distinct shade of red.

"Neither have I," said Van as Millerna exploded in giggles and had to excuse herself. Hitomi gave a frustrated sigh and stalked down the hallway, Merle following at her heels. Van wondered where Hitomi was going, and excused himself as well.

"'scuse me, but I'm really really drunk and have to go do something now," said Van stupidly staggering away from the table and coming dangerously near to ramming into several valuable, breakable objects.

"Hitooommmiiiiiii," Van called, his voice echoing down the hallway. "Which way is my room again?" He staggered drunkenly around.

"She's not your babysitter," said Merle, appearing suddenly around a dark corner that Van hadn't noticed in his drunken stupor.

"So? I like her! I wanna talk to Hitomi. 'usides, I'm her guest and obloogatoon. oblageesion.."

"Obligation?" asked Hitomi, stepping out from the same corner as Merle. "Unfortunately, it does seem so."

"Hey Hitomiii, whassamatter?" Van asked the young queen. "That happy pink juice can take all your troubles away!"

"You," said Hitomi, turning her back to him.

"Me?" shrieked Van as Merle slunk away. "Whatda I do?"

"You. you just showed up from the Mystic Moon." Said Hitomi with a bitter laugh. "I knew who I was. I was Kanzaki Hitomi, princess, queen of Fanelia. I was a warrior, no weaknesses. I was whole, even without family. Because I had my county and my blade, I was happy. But then, you showed up, Van, and I don't appreciate what you're doing. You're turning my world upside-down and.dammit! I just can't stand anything anymore, Van. My country has dissolved info flames. Everything that once was my entire world is crumbling around me like dust. And. it's just.. You. You're the only one who has remained the same, and I hate it! How can you do this to me? Wreck me on the inside?" Hitomi asked Van angrily. Had the boy not been so drunk, he would have noticed the glimmering of tears in her eyes.

"Aw, Hitomi, I'm sorry," slurred Van. "'S there any thing I can do?"

"Go get some sleep and don't come crawling to me when you have a hangover tomorrow morning," Hitomi said dryly. Van obeyed her command for he almost immediately passed out, and just missed hurling the contents of his stomach on her shoes. Hitomi smiled to herself and shook her head, and hauled Van back to his room, feeling happy and warm and content from head to toe.



A/N: Okay, I know, that was really short and actually very boring.. what a crappy chapter. Next one will be better. But I have to get this thing published and,,, arg! I'm overwhelmed with work.. But, believe it or not, it was important to the plot. So, yeah. Be ready for Chapter 5 next week!

THANKYOU A THOUSAND TIMES OVER TO:

Feye Morgan: Thanks! I'm glad you liked the pillow fight and yes, Hitomi IS a snob.

esca chick: ^____^ warm and fuzzy indeed! Thanks for your support.

LOVE WITCH: Every Sunday, usually. ^___^ Yes, it WAS a ridiculous outfit *CACKLE* I'm glad you love the story. And yes, it IS non existent.

Aeka-himme: Yes, Tickle me Elmos are indeed very frightening. I'm sorry Fanfiction cut you off. I hate it when that happens *glare glare.* Ahm, anywhoo, that whole pillow fight thing IS rather. odd, but it's what my crazy brain pulled outta nowhere, so. yeah. DON'T HURT ME!

Mirakai no tenshi neko-jin: ^____^ your wait is over! . er..wait. at least.. AGH! Okay, rephrase. Here's chapter four, now you have to wait for chapter 5. gomen!

Dariel: If you hurt me then I won't be able to review, so. yeah. I'm going to keep my health in-tact, thanks very much. Actually, there WAS something, which I am saving for a later chapter. like. maybe number 5 or so? Heh heh.. Really? Your cat sleeps all day? So does my other one o__O on my feet, which kinda sucks 'cause she bites me when I try and move .; but, yeah. Talking in sleep is good. Metal doors are bad. I will update soon, I promise (yet again!)

Pink Cherry Blossom: yes, it will be very fun to see Van duke it out with a sword, ha ha ha! I'm glad you like the premonotions idea, and I wouldn't give up the humor moments on my life. Err. yeah. Anywhoo, T.Y.!

Final A/N: Okay, There's a lot of crap coming next chapter, such as:

~ What the hell is between Hitomi and Allen

~ Does Van actually have skill with a sword or will he accidentally chop his head off

AND

~ Dilandu's birthday party! HAHAHAHA!

O_____o no more caffeine for me. Goodbye everybody, and I will see you next Sunday. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

~Azure