Disclaimer: Don't own anything, not claiming to own anything. Only in my dreams.zzzzz

A/N: Just a short fic full of insanity. Please don't put me in a straight jacket. I'm sure I'm not the only one. OW!! *got hit on the head by other authors* SEE! YOU ARE ALL GUILTY!!!!!!. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! *runs away*

Implied pairings: KilluaXGon, HisokaXGon, LeorioXKurapika

A slightly altered (yeah right.) Talk Soup: The Hisoka Way by M-i

Hisoka: Good morning, ladies, gentlemen and those-who-got-stuck-in-the- middle!! ^_____^ Heeheeheeheehee..

Audience: *shudders*

Hisoka: Heehee. don't worry. I'm not on a killing spree today. Hohohohohoho! ^0^

Audience: *finally breaths and sweatdrops*

Hisoka: Welcome to Talk Soup! I am your host and I'm sure you know me, minna! *shuffles his cards* .well, at least you BETTER know me anyways. ^____^ Today, we will interview and chikka (..did he say that? @_@) with our own... HunterXHunter main characters!!!!!!!!! Heeheeheehee.

Audience: *cheers and claps*

Hisoka: Okay, okay.

Audience: *cheers and claps still*

Hisoka:. ahem.

Audience: *continues*

Hisoka: *throws a card, randomly hitting. and killing 3 audiences ^^;;*

Audience: *gasps and shuts up*

Hisoka: Minna, rule no. 1: When I say that's enough, that's enough, ok? ^_^

Audience: *nods enthusiastically*

Hisoka: Good! Now, let's start introducing our guests for today, shall we? Heeheehee. First! *drum roll* is HXH main character.! Voice from the backstage: Hey! There are *four* main characters in HXH!!

Hisoka: Oh, shut your trap! Fine, fine. First, is our main MAIN character, who looks so innocently edible.

Audience: Ah. ^^;

Hisoka: Gon Freeces ^0^!!

Gon: * shows up from the backstage* Hello, everyone! *^_^* (proceeds to sit on the couch)

Hisoka: Tsk tsk. You don't sit there, cutie.

Gon: 0_0 ?? Then where do I sit?

Hisoka: Here of course! *pats his lap* ^_______^

Gon: Eh? *looks at him suspiciously* Is that on the script?

Hisoka: *pulls out his copy and a fat, black marker* We can arrange that.

POOF!

Gon: *suddenly on his lap* @_@

Killua: *came stomping from the backstage* @#! %$! TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF HIM YOU PEDO!

Hisoka: No ^_^ *nuzzles on Gon's neck* Oh, its you. Well, I was supposed to call you next but since you are already here, I have extra quality time to spend with my little cookie here.

Gon: *temporarily fainted*

Killua: * censored censored censored*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *claws starting to twitch*

(Kurapika and the Director comes out)

Kurapika: Killua, put those claws down. You might hurt somebody. (A/N: Duh!! -_-) Hisoka, put Gon down and stop being a perv.

Hisoka: Yada. *clings to the poor boy harder*

Director: STOP! Stop! Okay, Hisoka. The camera is rolling and we have to continue the show in a WHOLESOME manner. and that includes NO GLOMPING ON MINORS!!

Hisoka:. Your point? Director: Kami, save me. Fine. Let's strike a deal. Erm. Gon-kun can stay on your lap but no hentai. stuff going on, ok?

Hisoka: ^-^ Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiii...

Director: (drags Killua and Kurapika to the backstage) TAKE TWO!!!!

Hisoka: Well, then! ^0^ Next is our beloved and naughty white haired little devil..

Killua: WHO'S THE DEVIL??!

Hisoka: Killua Zoldick!*^_^*

Killua: *comes out and sits nearest to him while glaring his iciest*

Hisoka: Third, is our famous blondie who did nothing in the series except rant continuously about that Gineiryodan revenge thingy.

Kurapika: I'LL RIP YOUR EYES OUT!!

Hisoka: Kurapika! ^0^

Kurapika: *sits next to Killua with the same intense stare at the clown*

Hisoka: Finally.!!...........Oh. Its just Leorio.

Leorio: *comes out puffing* HEY! I resent that! I also played an important role!

Kurapika: *snort* What role?

Leorio: Who's side are you on?? ~_@

Gon: *finally stirs* What happened? What was I doing?

Hisoka: Oh, honey. You're awake. You were busy looking pretty, that's all. ^_^

Gon: Eh?? 0_o

Hisoka: Anyaway, let's go on to the topic for today!....*opens the envelope * .. And the topic for today IS...BERRIES??? *_*

Kurapika: Play with us and I'll kill you.

Leorio: Berries? Who the hell picked that?? (A/N: *sneezes *)

Killua: Hell, just continue so we can get over this already and leave!

Hisoka: *ahem * So, What is your favorite berry and why?

Kurapika: raspberry. Actually, any kind would do but the color captures me.

Leorio: blueberry, definitely. Notice the tie and the suit? *grin *

Killua: Um. I have to say, blackberry. It's WAAAAAAAY cooler than the others.

Gon: I love strawberries!! ^____^ They go well with Tia Maria cream!

Hisoka: You know, strawberries are used as a symbol of seduction?

Gon: Really? Why?

Hisoka: I can show you. Heeheehee.

Killua: KEEP YOU AND YOUR STUPID STRAWBERRIES FOR YOURSELF, PERVERT!!!

Kurapika: *screech* Keep your hands from that innocent child.!!!!

Leorio: *covers his ears * Yeesh, Kurapika. Mellow down will you? You sound like a pregnant woman having hormone overdose.

Kurapika: WHAT was THAT, LEORIO? *eyes turned red *

Leorio: I said-

Kurapika: *pounces on poor Leorio and a battle cloud ensues*

Hisoka: Oh dear. A lover's spat.

Kurapika and Leorio: WATCH IT, CLOWN!

Director: Please people!! Settle down!! TAKE THREE!! CONTINUE!

Hisoka: Hello, hello! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnd were back! ^_^ Now where was I?

Gon: Um, about strawberries being a tool for seduction.

Hisoka: Oh yessss. *inches closer to the clueless* Killua: HISOKAAA!!

Hisoka: Quit yelling! I hear you! *picks his ears* ^_____^ Well now. Let's go to a more intimate level. If you had berries, who would you want to feed and whom do you want to feed you?

Kurapika: I feed myself. I will only feed others if there is a necessity like being unable to move. (I have my pride you know)

Leorio: Heck, I want ladies to feed me and vice versa. *starts grinning like an idiot while daydreaming *

Killua: @/////@ um. I-I, well, if there is someone, then it might as well be Gon.

Gon: Whaa! ^__^ Oremo! Here! *offers the pitifully blushing white haired boy a blackberry *

Killua: *shyly accepts *

Hisoka: Oh, GoOooOn.

Gon: Nani?

Hisoka: Say, ah.

Gon: AH! ^O^ .Mff! ^-^ *chews on the strawberry happily *

Killua: ppzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzztttttt!!!! *steam comes off from his ears*

Kurapika: *cough* Kill.ua.

Leorio: *gasps * Can't. breath.

Hisoka: *keeps on feeding a content Gon* ^_^

Gon: *kept on eating away *

TBC.

A/N: Well, if you think that this will be the end, you are obviously wrong the moment you caught sight of the initials TBC. ^_^ This might get pretty long though it depends.

Next chap: Favorite foods and colors: Complete with a MORE hentai meaning! ^_~

Review please? Thank you! ^_^