Letters To You: Chapter 2



Kanako's Letter: Loneliness

I can never let go of you. I can never stop loving you. I know that it will be a never-ending and futile battle to try to win your love, but by growing up with you I think I inherited some of your stubbornness. I thought I would be okay only having part of your love, but I was wrong. I hate losing and every time I see you with her it's a painful reminder that I have lost the most important thing in my life. But I will not give up. All I have are my dreams and desires to be with you and run Hinata Sou with you. Those have been my only aspirations for as long as I can remember. And I will not give them up.

You are one of the few people that has shown me love. Grandma Hina and your parents are the only other people who have shown me affection in any form, and for that I am indebted to them. However, without you I would never have been able to open myself up to them even the small amount I did. After my parents put me in the orphanage I lost all trust of adults. I watched my parents leave, knowing I would never see them again, but not able to do anything. They didn't even bother to turn around as they walked away, leaving me at the side of the superintendent of the orphanage as I tried desperately not to cry. I made a promise to myself then that I would never rely on anyone except myself. Time flies when you have lost the will to live and keeping my promise was easy since my stay at the orphanage consisted of a never-ending cycle of chores, studying, meals and sleeping. Yes, keeping my jaded view of life and my promise was terrifyingly easy. Until I met you.

You seem to produce an aura of joy and optimism around you without being aware of it. It sweeps everyone up in its power and I was no exception. The years I spent with you were the happiest of my life. That's why when I told the girls that I was the one who loved you the most I was dead serious. They might think they love you, but they haven't spent the amount of time I have with you, and don't know you the way I do. They don't treat you with unconditional love like I do. Their love is like an ember compared to the raging inferno of love that I have for you. You taught me to open my heart again and by doing that you imbedded yourself there for the rest of my life.

Because of that I felt like no human interaction could compare to yours. I seem antisocial, cruel and downright bitchy because I have never had any interest in pleasing anyone besides you. I have a kind streak in me but even that isn't what it seems. If I do something nice to someone its only because in the long run I feel it would make you happy. I have never cared what cruel things people have said about me behind my back because I knew that you loved me and that you would always be there for me.

I can't change who I am. Therefore, I know that you cannot change who you are either. She will always have your love as a lover and I will be left with your love as a sister. As much as it hurts me to see you with her it would hurt me more to see you unhappy. She my have your love but she can never take away the years I had with you and the memories and joy they provided me. She can also never take away the bond that links together forever. That bond is there and because of it I will never give up my hope of having you as my own. You are my only joy. My only light. You are mine. And I will never stop fighting for you.

Authors Post Notes: Hot damn that was a fun Chapter to write (I hope you can tell it was fun for me). A bit angsty but that's Kanako for ya. Kanako is such a great character and after writing this I have decided to write a fanfic solely about Kanako. I want to dwell into her past before we see her in LHA or Manga 11. I want to go deep into her past. I want to write about why her parents abandoned her, her time at the orphanage, her years with Keitaro ect. I basically want to create her past. There is no fanfic out there like that yet so I will be free of any restraints and can come up with any kind of past for her I want. I don't know when I will start it (I am doing tons of projects now, like drawing Motoko, starting a Noir sketch, and thinking about starting a Noir fanfic also). I will probably start the Kanako fanfic after I am done with Letters To You so look forward to it. Well next Chapter is Kaolla. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!