Disclaimer: You know the routine. I Don't own Love Hina, never have, never will. This fanfiction was just written by me to satisfy my curiosity and for fun.

Letters To You: Chapter 4

Motoko's Letter: Masks

It's funny. I had been granted mastery of the Shinmei-ru martial art form by the time I was 15, an incredible accomplishment, and I can face almost any foe without fear. Yet you hold a power over me I never thought possible. You bring out a side of me I thought I had buried when my sister got married and left me to be the sole inheritor of the Shinmei-ru school. I don't know how to describe it except. its like there's two of me, the one I show to the world and the one that I only allow you to see.

All my life I've been led to believe that showing emotions would make me weak. My childhood was a regiment of strict training with almost no social contact. Even with this, however, I was still a very expressive child. I felt free to express myself, especially to my sister. She reprimanded me of course, but never too harshly. When she fell in love and left though, I started to believe in my school's misguided teachings about emotion. I thought that emotions had taken away the powerful and calm sister that I knew and respected and made her weak. I vowed to change myself from then on and never follow the path of my sister. I would be strong, and I would never allow anyone to find the part of myself that I buried that day. My emotions.

Maybe that's why I was so afraid of you when I first met you. You were like how I was back then, open and not afraid to show people what you were feeling. You represented everything I was running away from and that frightened me more than anything ever could. That's why I constantly belittled you and assaulted you. I was trying to convince myself that my beliefs were right and that emotions made you weak even though everything you did proved me wrong.

It became harder and harder to accept that my beliefs were right as I saw your love and concern for us drive you to incredible heights. You risked yourself to catch me from falling off the roof when I fainted, you protected Shinobu from her family and Su from being struck by lightning when she was fighting her sister. I couldn't understand what was right anymore. I didn't know what to believe. Then you showed me.

You rescued me from myself. After I lost to my sister when she found out we weren't really engaged I started to fall inside myself. I wasn't comfortable being a feminine girl and the pain and humiliation I felt at losing was constantly tugging at my heart, begging to be let out. It was your simple words that finally eased the pressure that had been building up all those years. Even after all my insults and beatings, you went out into the rain to find me and brought me back. Even after all my acts of hatred against you, you still smiled at me, patted my head and said "Don't push yourself so hard Motoko". It was as if the mask I had been wearing for so long was torn of in an instant. An endless flood of tears and emotions that had been bottled up were finally released.

From then on I had no more doubt. My emotions are not something to hide and they will not make me weak. I don't know if I will ever stop pretending to be strong and stoic to other people. But it doesn't really matter. I know you will always be there. You are the only one who can take off my mask and allow me to show the feelings that I hide even from myself.

Author's Note: Not too much to say about this chapter actually. It was fun though. Motoko is a very hard character to interpret since she keeps her emotions fairly locked up like I said in the letter. That's why she is so damn cool though! Next chapter is Kitsune. Also sorry I'm a day late. I just forgot. Thanks to all my reviewers and the folks who are reading this fic! Without readers a writer's job is pretty worthless! -Animalman