Disclaimer:
You know the drill. I'm not gonna repeat the same thing all other fanfic
authors and I have already said multiple times.
Letter To You: Final Chapter
Naru's Letter: Love
When did it begin? The need. the pain. the loneliness. the insecurity? I was so damn confident and sure of myself, those were all non-existent and unknowns to me, until you came into my life. I'm so confused right now, I don't want these feelings. but my heart is telling me that there's something more to them. My soul is telling me that they are only the first step on a much longer journey, one that will lead me to something I've been searching for my entire life. I'm just scared to start down that path...no. I'm scared to examine my feelings.
Meeting you changed something in me, and I don't know what it is. You shifted all my priorities without even trying, and that frightens me. I thought everything was set in stone, I had everything planned out. but I'm watching the person I was die. The snobby, top of the nation genius is slowly fading away into mist and I can only watch as an ephemeral shape is taking her place. The person I was has been with me for so long I don't know if I can let her go, but I think I have to. That ephemeral shape is telling me I am missing something that will complete me. It is telling me that I need know myself before I will find that thing. and it's telling me to open my heart.
I've always been surrounded by people who cared about me, I've always been popular and therefore never understood loneliness. But now I find myself looking up at you while we're studying every other minute. I know that you'll be right across the table from me when I take that quick peak, but I need to reassure myself that you're still there. Its sad, but I can't be at peace without your constant presence. When you're out of my sight my heart feels like its being crushed. I can't breathe until I catch a glimpse of you or hear your voice, scolding Su or complimenting Shinobu.
I try to convince myself that I don't need you, my constant violence is proof of that. I'm never mad at you either. even if I should be. even if you've done something that deserves my wraith for once. I can't be mad at you. I hit you to prove my hatred to the world, a hate I've never felt for you. It hurts me more then it hurts you though. You don't hear me cry at night when I think of the horrible things I've done to you. You can't watch my pillow become soaked with tears as I think of how I've pushed you away.
But you never leave me. Every time I look up from exam booklet you're still there, raising your eyebrow quizzically at a particularly hard problem. And all those negative feelings disappear. The loneliness is gone, because you're there. The pain is gone, because you're there smiling at me and asking me for help. The insecurity is gone. because I can see into your eyes and almost see the girl I'm becoming.
I don't know when that ephemeral shape will become the new me. I don't even know myself, except for these things. You are the light guiding me on this journey I had never planned to take. You are opening my eyes to feelings I've never know and are bringing a new person to life. And I know I can never go back to the person I was before.
Because I love you. Oh God, I love you so much. I don't know when I'll be able to tell you that. I don't know when I'll give you this tear-stained letter. But I will. This letter is proof of how much you've changed me.
I want to be with you forever. I want to you and only you. No one else will ever do. You've buried my heart deep within you and I am destined to love you forever now. Please believe in me. Please forgive all my insecurity. Please wait for that ephemeral form to take shape and my old self to die. Because it's happening now, I can feel myself breaking away from what I was. You're helping me to understand myself finally.
I'm only human. I'm a stupid and insecure girl that can't admit her own feelings to you aloud. But I love you. And some night, in the future, you'll find this letter on your bed and know. I don't know what will happen before then or how much we'll go through together. But it will be together. because I can never leave you.
Love, Naru
Author's Notes: Well there ya have it. Letters To You is basically done except for the Epilogue, which I will definitely do. My next project will be my Kanako fic and that should be time intensive. Letters To You was meant to be short and sweet and I think I pulled it off good. My Kanako fic on the other hand will be much longer since I have a lot to write about. I'm going to create her past from the time she is born until the time she arrives at Hinata Sou and that's a lot to cover. I'll also need to do a lot of prewriting and thinking so that chronologically it matches with the LH time line. Thanks to all my readers and reviewers, you guys make this work worthwhile and entertaining for me. Until the Epilogue and the new fic!! - Animalman
Letter To You: Final Chapter
Naru's Letter: Love
When did it begin? The need. the pain. the loneliness. the insecurity? I was so damn confident and sure of myself, those were all non-existent and unknowns to me, until you came into my life. I'm so confused right now, I don't want these feelings. but my heart is telling me that there's something more to them. My soul is telling me that they are only the first step on a much longer journey, one that will lead me to something I've been searching for my entire life. I'm just scared to start down that path...no. I'm scared to examine my feelings.
Meeting you changed something in me, and I don't know what it is. You shifted all my priorities without even trying, and that frightens me. I thought everything was set in stone, I had everything planned out. but I'm watching the person I was die. The snobby, top of the nation genius is slowly fading away into mist and I can only watch as an ephemeral shape is taking her place. The person I was has been with me for so long I don't know if I can let her go, but I think I have to. That ephemeral shape is telling me I am missing something that will complete me. It is telling me that I need know myself before I will find that thing. and it's telling me to open my heart.
I've always been surrounded by people who cared about me, I've always been popular and therefore never understood loneliness. But now I find myself looking up at you while we're studying every other minute. I know that you'll be right across the table from me when I take that quick peak, but I need to reassure myself that you're still there. Its sad, but I can't be at peace without your constant presence. When you're out of my sight my heart feels like its being crushed. I can't breathe until I catch a glimpse of you or hear your voice, scolding Su or complimenting Shinobu.
I try to convince myself that I don't need you, my constant violence is proof of that. I'm never mad at you either. even if I should be. even if you've done something that deserves my wraith for once. I can't be mad at you. I hit you to prove my hatred to the world, a hate I've never felt for you. It hurts me more then it hurts you though. You don't hear me cry at night when I think of the horrible things I've done to you. You can't watch my pillow become soaked with tears as I think of how I've pushed you away.
But you never leave me. Every time I look up from exam booklet you're still there, raising your eyebrow quizzically at a particularly hard problem. And all those negative feelings disappear. The loneliness is gone, because you're there. The pain is gone, because you're there smiling at me and asking me for help. The insecurity is gone. because I can see into your eyes and almost see the girl I'm becoming.
I don't know when that ephemeral shape will become the new me. I don't even know myself, except for these things. You are the light guiding me on this journey I had never planned to take. You are opening my eyes to feelings I've never know and are bringing a new person to life. And I know I can never go back to the person I was before.
Because I love you. Oh God, I love you so much. I don't know when I'll be able to tell you that. I don't know when I'll give you this tear-stained letter. But I will. This letter is proof of how much you've changed me.
I want to be with you forever. I want to you and only you. No one else will ever do. You've buried my heart deep within you and I am destined to love you forever now. Please believe in me. Please forgive all my insecurity. Please wait for that ephemeral form to take shape and my old self to die. Because it's happening now, I can feel myself breaking away from what I was. You're helping me to understand myself finally.
I'm only human. I'm a stupid and insecure girl that can't admit her own feelings to you aloud. But I love you. And some night, in the future, you'll find this letter on your bed and know. I don't know what will happen before then or how much we'll go through together. But it will be together. because I can never leave you.
Love, Naru
Author's Notes: Well there ya have it. Letters To You is basically done except for the Epilogue, which I will definitely do. My next project will be my Kanako fic and that should be time intensive. Letters To You was meant to be short and sweet and I think I pulled it off good. My Kanako fic on the other hand will be much longer since I have a lot to write about. I'm going to create her past from the time she is born until the time she arrives at Hinata Sou and that's a lot to cover. I'll also need to do a lot of prewriting and thinking so that chronologically it matches with the LH time line. Thanks to all my readers and reviewers, you guys make this work worthwhile and entertaining for me. Until the Epilogue and the new fic!! - Animalman
