Chapter 7: Wait for an answer
:: indicates Xavier's thoughts ::
~ indicates Jean's thoughts ~

My name's Jean Grey. I'm a member of the X-men. Or a former member perhaps? That's the way it feels right now at least. I can't believe everything's fallen apart so quickly. The mansion's destroyed and the team's been shattered to the winds and most of the people that once lived here are dead and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I feel so worthless. My medical background and my powers have proven to be so inadequate in preventing this. Any of this.

Am I too harsh on myself? Maybe but I'm only human and I have sworn to protect lives if it's at all in my power to do so. I've failed. Big time. For the last time I swear!

What good that oath will do me I don't know. Or bad perhaps. Only time will tell. For now I will do my utmost to try to put things right. Enough? Another time only time will tell. I can only try. With whatever means I have.

Scott's out of my reach. I can still feel him through our mind-link but there's something wrong. It's not the Scott I know and love I feel. Not completely. He's slipping away towards something. Towards something more...I don't know. More uncaring or unfeeling perhaps. It's so very hard to ignore it but I have to. I can't do anything about it no matter how much I wish I could. What I can do something about is Charles. At least I hope so. He's partly within my reach at least even if he's slipping too. Towards something darker. Darker than I thought such a kind person as him was possible to reach.

I'm so grateful of the advances the medical profession has taken the last decade or two because without it he would truly be lost to us. It's still a touch and go but without that knowledge and the more intimate knowledge us telepaths have when it comes to the brain, he would truly be lost in his own mind for the rest of his life. As it is, he almost is anyway but at least I have a way to get to him. Partly if nothing else. I can only try.

Time to dive into my mentor's mind, trying to fix what can be fixed.

::I cannot say that I don't care, because I'm aware of everyone and everything. They're everywhere.::

Who are everywhere? Our enemies? Yes, they are. That's nothing new. Charles has been aware of that for quite some time. So what has made him withdraw this much? He's always been so strong.

:: Our enemies are out to crush us. And I failed. I failed in every way possible. It's all my fault. I was a naive fool into thinking I could make a difference. ::

What do I say to that? I've done this before. Several times the last couple of days and I've yet to make him see reason. It wasn't his fault that this happened. If he's a naive fool for wanting the world to be a better place, so was Gandhi, Buddha and Jesus.

But he's just not listening. Better just be blunt I suppose.

~ Don't be a fool Charles. You're right. It's not safe here. Not for you. Not for me. Not for anyone. Do you want to keep it that way or do you intend to fight it? ~

He's not answering. Not that I expected it. But at least he didn't withdraw further into his shell.

~ Start using your brain Charles. It's your biggest asset. You know we can fight this.~

I don't say it but I know, I just know, that he knows I'm meaning both his state of mind and Apocalypse. If only he tries. We need him. The most powerful mind on the planet.

I'm waiting for an answer. From Charles. The Charles I know. Not this poor imitation of him. It's his body but nothing more. To think that Magneto is part of this. It seems like the mutant community, to use Senator Kelly's words, is more intent on fighting amongst itself than anything else.

Have I become too jaded after all our fights against Magneto and the rest of the brotherhood? And every other mutant that has been a threat to the world at one time or the other?

At times I've wished that I was a bird of prey. A pure and blessed. A hawk that could ease the pain of its prey. Okay, that sounded too violent for my liking. But sometimes it does feel that way.

:: Don't look back Jean. Tell me it is where you belong. A place without hope. ::

~No, Charles. I won't. There's always hope. You always thaught me that, even when I thought there wasn't. I won't let your darker thoughts influence me. Or you. It's not you speaking now. ~

::But what if I'm wrong?::
~We won't find out if you're not fighting will we?~

I don't know what I did this time to get through to him I wasn't able to before but his eyes are slowly opening. He's looking at me but there's still no hope in his eyes. He just looks sad and defeated but at least he's conscious.

"Jean."
"Charles. You're back."
"I had you to guide me. Again. The teacher has to learn from his student. I may not be as hopeful as you are but I will fight. To the bitter end. I sadly admit that there's no place to hide from the raging storm. No shelter is enough to protect us."

"We'll fight though. And maybe it will be enough."
"Yes, maybe."

He's quiet for a few moments before continueing

"But this is the most draining fight we've ever had. If we stumble, Apocalypse will spread his terror across the entire world."
"Then we won't stumble."