The disclaimer telling all of you that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters was sold for a dollar. Don't ask me where I get these fics people, I haven't a clue! It's just a silly fic for your amusement and mine.
Down at the Dollar Store
"Now for once in your lives behave yourselves you lunatics!" Pietro groaned as the Brotherhood walked into the store. "This is one of the few stores in town that hasn't banned us!"
"You should take some of your own advice you know," Lance pointed out. "Refresh my memory Pietro, which one of us set those mannequins on fire at Ames?"
"Hey that store went out of business anyway! Who's gonna miss it?" Pietro huffed.
"I wonder why?" Wanda sighed. "So this is a dollar store huh?"
"Yeah!" Fred nodded his head happily. "Everything here is only a dollar!"
"I kind of figured that out Blob," Wanda rolled her eyes.
"I like this place," Todd looked at everything. "They have some pretty cool stuff here!"
"Yeah Toad I can't get enough of those cheesy figurines," Lance winced at a display of gaudy ceramic Easter Rabbits. "Geeze its not even anywhere's near Easter yet! What's the rush?"
"Yeah but they got a lot of other cool stuff," Todd said. "I'm gonna go check out the toys!"
"Yeah Toad you do that," Lance sighed.
"You guys really shop here?" Wanda asked.
"Oh yeah," Fred nodded. "We're regulars."
"This is where we used to get a lot of food and supplies when we got dumped by Mystique," Lance explained. "Toad would do some pick some pockets and we'd find some spare change lying around and use it to buy stuff here."
"Yeah you'd be amazed how many supplies you can get," Fred nodded. "Ooh! They got more Happy Honey Bear Cereal! I love that!" He went over and grabbed several boxes.
"You guys had no money?" Wanda asked. "I don't remember this."
"It was before you got here," Pietro covered.
"Oh," Wanda said. Then she got a dazed look in her eye. "When did I get here?"
"Huh?" Pietro gulped.
"It's the strangest thing. I don't really remember actually leaving home to come to the Brotherhood House," Wanda said. "Why is that?"
"Uh…" Pietro gulped. "Well uh…"
"It's been driving me crazy for the past couple of days," Wanda shook her head. "I just can't remember. What happened Pietro?"
"Well…uh…There's a perfectly logical reason for that," Pietro said.
"There is?" Lance asked.
"Uh…yeah…well…." Pietro struggled to think of something. "You see…"
"Toad will you cut it out!" Fred shouted.
"Oh dear, what's Toad done now?" Pietro said quickly, not to mention slightly relieved.
"Hey guys look!" Todd took out a bubble wand from a small tube. "Bubbles!" He blew some and giggled. "Cool!"
"Have you been into your stash of candy bars and pixie sticks again?" Lance asked.
"Maybe," Todd snickered. He blew more bubbles.
"Will you stop that before someone sees you!" Lance snapped.
"I don't think that matters Lance," Wanda pointed behind him.
Standing behind them was a portly balding man who looked slightly tipsy. "Tiny Bubbles…" He sang. "In the sand…lots of bubbles…all over the land…Everybody sing!"
"Oh goody, we're in luck. The manager's drunk again," Lance said casually.
"Bubbles…bubbles…bubbles!" The manager staggered around happily. He saw Todd blowing bubbles. "Hey I need more bubbles here!"
"You got it!" Todd hopped away to get more bubble blowing solution.
"Does this happen often?" Wanda asked.
"Pretty much," Pietro grinned. "Okay guys forget what I said. We can pretty much do whatever we want now!" He zipped off to another part of the store.
"Oooh!" Fred said excitedly. "Gooey Fruity Fruit Rolls! I love those!"
"Well I guess Freddy is taking care of the food aisle," Lance said as Fred wandered off.
"I guess it's up to the two of us to work on the rest of the list," Wanda sighed.
"We have a list?" Lance asked.
"Yeah Pietro wrote it down before he left the house," She fished it out of her pocket. "According to him we need…everything."
"Well that narrows it down," Lance sighed. "Blob stop eating all the cereal!"
"I'm not the only one!" Fred protested. He pointed to two teenagers wearing nametags behind him who were also eating cereal. "Right guys?"
"Yeah man it's fine with us and we like work here ya know?" One of them shrugged.
"Have you ever looked at cereal?" The other said. "I mean really looked at cereal?"
"Cool," The first one spoke. "Look at all the ridges and stuff…"
"Let's go to another aisle Lance," Wanda turned around and walked away.
"Right behind you," He said. They went up and down the aisles grabbing several items.
"Toilet paper, aluminum foil, Tupperware bowls…a hair dryer?" Lance listed off the items they were putting in their baskets.
"Pietro keeps stealing mine," Wanda told him. "I can't believe all this stuff they have. Look at all these bath products! Since when do dollar stores have this kind of stuff?"
"Since the entire economy practically collapsed," Lance told her. "Haven't you noticed these things are popping up all over the place? It's all a lot of people can afford these days."
"It's also probably the one place we won't run into the X-Men," Wanda pointed out.
"Thank goodness for small favors," Lance sighed.
"Ah they don't know what they're missing," Fred called out as he ran by. "I got it! I got it!" He grabbed a small soft football. "TOUCHDOWN!"
"Yeah!" The store clerks whooped.
"Tiny bubbles!" The manager and Todd were singing on top of a table while blowing bubbles. "In Bubbleland!"
Lance chuckled. "Stuff for only a dollar and free entertainment as well. Only in America will you find this!"
"More like only in Bayville," Wanda sighed as she watched the antics of some of her teammates. "Wonder what Pietro's up too?"
"THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!" Pietro's voice could be heard throughout the entire store. They looked over and saw Pietro standing in front of a counter. Behind the counter was an elderly woman who looked like she really didn't care about anything. "What do you mean I can't buy this hair dryer for a dollar?"
"Five dollars," She said simply.
"What do you mean its five dollars?" Pietro asked.
"Five dollars," The woman told him.
"Lady this is a dollar store. It can't be five dollars," Pietro said.
"Five dollars," She told him again.
"Okay obviously you are unfamiliar with the concept of a dollar store," Pietro said. "In this type of store people come to buy things that are cheap. Why are they cheap? Because they are usually worthless junk. Junk that is so worthless people will not pay more than a dollar for them. Therefore they only cost a dollar each. Hence the name 'dollar store', you get that?"
"Five dollars."
"You are missing the point of a dollar store in which everything, and I do mean everything is only one, I repeat…ONE DOLLAR!" Pietro snapped.
"Five dollars."
"And people call mutants freaks!" Pietro shouted, exasperated.
"Five dollars."
"Should we do something?" Lance asked.
"Nah," Wanda told him. "What the heck is that?" She looked down. "Ewww…there are bubbles everywhere!" Indeed there were bubbles foaming all over the floor.
"Looks like they got into the bubble bath stuff again," Lance pointed at Todd and the Manager who were laughing and creating more bubbles with the help a small fire hose and all the bubble bath they could find.
"I'M OPEN!" Fred shouted. The sound of things crashing and breaking could be heard. "Oops…sorry! Boy this floor is slippery!"
"IT CAN'T BE FIVE DOLLARS!" Pietro shouted.
"FIVE DOLLARS!" The woman shouted.
"Well it looks like the Brotherhood strikes again," Wanda sighed as she looked at the insanity around her. "Just another typical outing for this bunch. Well at least we know we won't get thrown out of this place."
"I tell you one thing this is the one store where I actually feel like a normal customer," Lance told her.
