Author's note: First off, I'm not a big fan of Faith. I mean, she's okay, but honestly, I like Buffy better. So, this probably will not be the kind of story that many of you will like.
The Reason - 2
Faith sat on the couch in Buffy's living room fiddling with her boots' shoe laces. She could hear Buffy in the dining room telling the Scooby gang how the First told them that Faith's faults caused the mega rift with the First. She almost snuck out the door, but she saw several of the Potentials sitting on the stairs, some listening intently to Buffy and others staring with inquisitive young eyes looking at Faith like she was either someone to be worshipped or someone to be feared, or both. She hated the stares, but she was glad that someone was acknowledging her existence.
* - * / * \ * - *
Buffy stood there telling her closest friends what had happened. She couldn't help but look over at Faith as she was talking. She knew that it couldn't all be put on Faith's shoulders, but she also knew that Faith had chosen to be bad. She had chosen to screw her friends over. Buffy had been thinking about those days during her Senior Year since she first found out that Faith had betrayed her. She kept thinking about what she might have done wrong. She kept reliving it and trying to make everything turn out happily, but she knew that no matter what she had done, in the end the decision to do wrong had fallen on Faith.
"So, apparently, Faith is somehow the catalyst to this whole First Evil thing," Buffy concluded her long-winded speech.
"What do we do?" Xander asked, concerned that the so-called catalyst was just in the other room.
"I have no idea," Buffy muttered. "I know we have to rebuild this bond, but I don't trust her. A part of me doesn't want to trust her."
"Why not?" Xander asked. "I know that she totally betrayed the gang and all, but hey...so did Angel with his whole "Angelus" thing. You forgave him."
"It's different," Buffy mumbled.
"How?" Willow asked, as she realized that she had never exactly been a big Faith fan.
"I loved him," Buffy replied.
"And how did you feel about Faith?" Xander asked softly.
"Like I had a part of myself died when she went bad," Buffy practically yelled. Buffy knew that Faith had heard, especially since she was coming in the room. "Faith is more than just a slayer to me, okay, guys? She's like a sister. She's like Dawn."
Buffy paused to get her breath. Dawn had looked at her with a shocked gaze.
"Even though we don't admit it, all slayers are connected," Buffy continued. "We are all more than just warriors. We get our strength from the same First Slayer that also gives us a sisterlike bond. And when Faith chose the Mayor over us, she chose to break that bond. She chose to betray us. She betrayed her family, and I don't know how I can just get over it."
"What do you want, a box of chocolate?" Faith asked as she rolled her eyes.
"No, I want all of this to have never happened," Buffy retorted. "I've been living with the guilt from that night when you killed--"
"I remember what happened," Faith cut her off, trying not to acknowledge her past.
"Yeah, well, so do I," Buffy swiftly remarked. "I felt sorry for what happened, and you never did."
"Yes, I did," Faith replied, as tears began to form in the corners of her eyes.
"Then why didn't you act like it?" Willow asked her.
"Because I didn't think it was right for Slayers to cry," Faith remarked.
"Anyone can cry...just ask Xander!" Anya stated in her matter-of-fact tone.
"Thanks, An," Xander said sarcastically.
"That's not the real reason you didn't act like it," Buffy said sternly, "and you know it."
"Oh, really? What was the real reason?" Faith asked sarcastically.
"Because you enjoyed it," Buffy replied, looking Faith straight in the eyes. "You liked the rush. You liked having the power over him when you killed him. You liked being bad because being good wasn't enough fun for you."
"That's not true," Faith said softly.
"Oh, really?"
"Yes," Faith said in an even softer tone.
"I don't believe you."
"Fine, but the longer you act like the stubborn blonde bitch, the longer this apocalypse will go on."
"I don't think so."
"Really?"
"Yeah," Buffy remarked. "I could end it all right now."
"How's that?"
"I could kill you," Buffy replied.
"I dare ya to try," Faith said defensively.
"Ah, but you see, I don't kill people," Buffy replied.
"Because you're all holier than thou?"
"No, because I acknowledge that we were put here to protect people, not kill them."
"Yeah, and our destiny is to die and be replaced, not to be brought back from the dead twice."
The Reason - 2
Faith sat on the couch in Buffy's living room fiddling with her boots' shoe laces. She could hear Buffy in the dining room telling the Scooby gang how the First told them that Faith's faults caused the mega rift with the First. She almost snuck out the door, but she saw several of the Potentials sitting on the stairs, some listening intently to Buffy and others staring with inquisitive young eyes looking at Faith like she was either someone to be worshipped or someone to be feared, or both. She hated the stares, but she was glad that someone was acknowledging her existence.
* - * / * \ * - *
Buffy stood there telling her closest friends what had happened. She couldn't help but look over at Faith as she was talking. She knew that it couldn't all be put on Faith's shoulders, but she also knew that Faith had chosen to be bad. She had chosen to screw her friends over. Buffy had been thinking about those days during her Senior Year since she first found out that Faith had betrayed her. She kept thinking about what she might have done wrong. She kept reliving it and trying to make everything turn out happily, but she knew that no matter what she had done, in the end the decision to do wrong had fallen on Faith.
"So, apparently, Faith is somehow the catalyst to this whole First Evil thing," Buffy concluded her long-winded speech.
"What do we do?" Xander asked, concerned that the so-called catalyst was just in the other room.
"I have no idea," Buffy muttered. "I know we have to rebuild this bond, but I don't trust her. A part of me doesn't want to trust her."
"Why not?" Xander asked. "I know that she totally betrayed the gang and all, but hey...so did Angel with his whole "Angelus" thing. You forgave him."
"It's different," Buffy mumbled.
"How?" Willow asked, as she realized that she had never exactly been a big Faith fan.
"I loved him," Buffy replied.
"And how did you feel about Faith?" Xander asked softly.
"Like I had a part of myself died when she went bad," Buffy practically yelled. Buffy knew that Faith had heard, especially since she was coming in the room. "Faith is more than just a slayer to me, okay, guys? She's like a sister. She's like Dawn."
Buffy paused to get her breath. Dawn had looked at her with a shocked gaze.
"Even though we don't admit it, all slayers are connected," Buffy continued. "We are all more than just warriors. We get our strength from the same First Slayer that also gives us a sisterlike bond. And when Faith chose the Mayor over us, she chose to break that bond. She chose to betray us. She betrayed her family, and I don't know how I can just get over it."
"What do you want, a box of chocolate?" Faith asked as she rolled her eyes.
"No, I want all of this to have never happened," Buffy retorted. "I've been living with the guilt from that night when you killed--"
"I remember what happened," Faith cut her off, trying not to acknowledge her past.
"Yeah, well, so do I," Buffy swiftly remarked. "I felt sorry for what happened, and you never did."
"Yes, I did," Faith replied, as tears began to form in the corners of her eyes.
"Then why didn't you act like it?" Willow asked her.
"Because I didn't think it was right for Slayers to cry," Faith remarked.
"Anyone can cry...just ask Xander!" Anya stated in her matter-of-fact tone.
"Thanks, An," Xander said sarcastically.
"That's not the real reason you didn't act like it," Buffy said sternly, "and you know it."
"Oh, really? What was the real reason?" Faith asked sarcastically.
"Because you enjoyed it," Buffy replied, looking Faith straight in the eyes. "You liked the rush. You liked having the power over him when you killed him. You liked being bad because being good wasn't enough fun for you."
"That's not true," Faith said softly.
"Oh, really?"
"Yes," Faith said in an even softer tone.
"I don't believe you."
"Fine, but the longer you act like the stubborn blonde bitch, the longer this apocalypse will go on."
"I don't think so."
"Really?"
"Yeah," Buffy remarked. "I could end it all right now."
"How's that?"
"I could kill you," Buffy replied.
"I dare ya to try," Faith said defensively.
"Ah, but you see, I don't kill people," Buffy replied.
"Because you're all holier than thou?"
"No, because I acknowledge that we were put here to protect people, not kill them."
"Yeah, and our destiny is to die and be replaced, not to be brought back from the dead twice."
