Slowly we let more and more of ourselves become intertwined. It was a gut-deep feeling to begin with, like I was dizzy, like I was oxygen starved and dying. Gazes, a step in time, faster and faster until I felt like everything blurred, but everything else stayed the same. We were the only ones changing.
Electric doom pulled me forwards and let me fall from my own hazel awareness into the darkness his eyes held. Of everything that one phone call with him had let me realise, only one thing stood out. It was too late. We weren't the only thing over anymore, in the few hours left everything would be over and any second chances we might have had, any redemption was finished with, because there wouldn't be a world left to provide them.
Soon all the sunny days I had taken for granted, the days he had hidden from would be gone. I would never see another sunrise. Angel would never see restlessness of being tied to fate in my eyes. He would never know what it was like to take a breath, and need it. It was the way fate had planned our endings, and although I never wanted this, I won't fight it anymore. Slayer born and LA raised; I've been selfish all my life. Today I go out on the note I was born for, and if he comes with me then maybe I'll let myself me selfish on the other side.
Everything is so quiet now. His fingers reach out and touch mine, a half smile on his face, resigned. Acceptance of death, the pointlessness of life is suicide. But we both have a purpose and if suicide isn't included then I guess I'm a coward cause I'm snuffing out tonight, hopefully before the world falls in on itself.
He never takes his eyes off me, and I feel like I should be smiling, like this should be it, this should be us forever. And I know that the irony is far from lost on him, after this battle, at the end of the so-called endless war we get our release, only we won't be here to receive it. I know I shouldn't cry, but the helplessness welling inside me the inability to touch him until it's impossible to do so pulls another tear in my fragile morals.
I swallow stray tears and his thumb trails a tired line over the downward curve of my lips, he tilts my chin up, the salty grief trickling further down inside me. And he reminds me why I'm still here.
"Hey, I love you."
But I don't remember what it sounds like anymore, and his confession catches me off guard. His honesty prompts me to my own deathbed confession over the soil that will become my makeshift grave, the grave we'll share together. Blood and ash. Lost in the earth where fate won't be our master and death won't be feared.
"Love you, too."
"And if I don't make it
Know that I loved you
All along" -- 4am.
Electric doom pulled me forwards and let me fall from my own hazel awareness into the darkness his eyes held. Of everything that one phone call with him had let me realise, only one thing stood out. It was too late. We weren't the only thing over anymore, in the few hours left everything would be over and any second chances we might have had, any redemption was finished with, because there wouldn't be a world left to provide them.
Soon all the sunny days I had taken for granted, the days he had hidden from would be gone. I would never see another sunrise. Angel would never see restlessness of being tied to fate in my eyes. He would never know what it was like to take a breath, and need it. It was the way fate had planned our endings, and although I never wanted this, I won't fight it anymore. Slayer born and LA raised; I've been selfish all my life. Today I go out on the note I was born for, and if he comes with me then maybe I'll let myself me selfish on the other side.
Everything is so quiet now. His fingers reach out and touch mine, a half smile on his face, resigned. Acceptance of death, the pointlessness of life is suicide. But we both have a purpose and if suicide isn't included then I guess I'm a coward cause I'm snuffing out tonight, hopefully before the world falls in on itself.
He never takes his eyes off me, and I feel like I should be smiling, like this should be it, this should be us forever. And I know that the irony is far from lost on him, after this battle, at the end of the so-called endless war we get our release, only we won't be here to receive it. I know I shouldn't cry, but the helplessness welling inside me the inability to touch him until it's impossible to do so pulls another tear in my fragile morals.
I swallow stray tears and his thumb trails a tired line over the downward curve of my lips, he tilts my chin up, the salty grief trickling further down inside me. And he reminds me why I'm still here.
"Hey, I love you."
But I don't remember what it sounds like anymore, and his confession catches me off guard. His honesty prompts me to my own deathbed confession over the soil that will become my makeshift grave, the grave we'll share together. Blood and ash. Lost in the earth where fate won't be our master and death won't be feared.
"Love you, too."
"And if I don't make it
Know that I loved you
All along" -- 4am.
