A/N: This is the last chapter, all; I guess this is where I tell you how great all your reviews have been and how I probably wouldn't have continued writing this had the response not been so great (especially considering that it was only supposed to be a one-shot little ficlet). Anyway, you guys have all been wonderful, and as always I'd like to thank sunshyndaisies for being a great friend and inspiration and I would also like to thank Julephenia for her awesome reviews which always made me smile. Here's to hoping my next fic is this successful.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter, etc. are the intellectual property of JKR; no infringement is intended.
Chapter the Last
Dear Hermione,
Why do I owe you a goodnight kiss? I do believe that you've confused things as it is, in fact, you who owe me a goodnight kiss. Actually, counting your absence tonight you will owe me three goodnight kisses, three good morning kisses, 10 'just because' kisses, and a total of 578 'you're too sexy, I can't help myself' kisses. So pucker up, because I expect your debt to be paid at your earliest convenience (which by my continued calculation lies a mere 13 hours away). I recommend the cherry-flavoured lip lacquer…it's my favourite.
I love you,
Ron
It was here! It was finally here! Opening my eyes on Monday morning I was instantly awake as I realized that after three days of excruciating suffering I was finally to be rewarded with your presence for the rest of the summer. I couldn't wait; had it really been Christmas and had I actually been five years old again, I don't think I could have been more excited. Breakfast proved me wrong, however, as the elation brought by your impending visit was only punctuated by Dad's news that he'd received a letter from Dumbledore.
"After explaining the situation to him," Dad said, and he seemed to be addressing Ginny for some reason, "he's agreed that it might be best—if not for Harry's safety then for his morale—if he came early. He'll be arriving after Mr. and Mrs. Granger leave next week," he said. What situation? I asked myself. Dumbledore had always been aware of the Dursleys' reaction to Harry…oh well, it really didn't matter. You were coming in a matter of hours and Harry was coming almost two months early. Even Ginny seemed to be in a better mood…she was smiling and seemed to have gotten her appetite back. This was good.
The morning went by unbearably slowly as I waited for you and your parents to get here. A thousand and one scenarios seemed to run through my head: what if you got lost? What if your parents had decided not to come after all? What if you'd decided you'd rather spend the summer in Bulgaria? I admit that my thoughts weren't making much sense, but paranoia is a normal reaction when one's girlfriend is supposed to come visit for the summer.
"Would you stop pacing, big brother? You're going to wear a hole in the floor," Ginny appeared behind me, looking cheerier than I'd seen her all weekend. I might have liked her better when she was depressed.
"Where have you been all morning?" I asked her, " I haven't seen you since breakfast." Ginny's eyes widened a bit at the question, as though she'd been cornered.
"Just writing a friend," she told me, her cheeks taking on the slightest tinge of pink; she'd obviously been writing her boyfriend.
"That reminds me; I should write to Harry and tell him the great—" I stopped short mid-sentence. Inexplicably, Ginny's cheeks flushed even more at Harry's mention. Maybe she wasn't as over her crush on him as I'd originally thought although it certainly wasn't fair to Colin to have his girlfriend fancying someone else…although I suspect Colin fancies Harry himself.
"I can do it if you want; I need to send out some owls anyway," she offered and I narrowed my eyes at her. She didn't seem anxious as much as she did nervous…nervous about Harry? No, nervous about me in regards to her and Harry. A crazy thought popped into my head, then. Ginny and Harry—Harry and Ginny? I laughed out-loud at the absurdity of it all and she gazed at me questioningly.
"For a second I almost thought…" I began, "…never mind, it's too funny to even think it," I replied, still laughing. Phew! That had been one completely crazy, unfathomable, impossible scenario. Instead of questioning me further, Ginny merely shook her head and went upstairs to tend to her letters. I might have been tempted to go up to my room and keep a lookout for you from Fred and George's window if I hadn't heard the sound of an engine, then.
"Mum!" I yelled, "they're here!" I could barely contain my excitement as I ran outside to wait for your car to make it down the lane, finally stopping in front of the Burrow.
Your parents were staring out of the windscreen, twisting their heads to the side to get a better look at the Burrow. Their looks were ones of amazement and pure glee as they appraised the house I'd grown up in. As for you, you hadn't even waited for the engine to stop before jumping out of the car, running up the length of the lane, and leaping straight into my arms, knocking the wind out of me as you hugged me. I wanted to hold you close and not let you go for hours but much too soon you'd let go and turned to face my mother, who had come out behind me.
"Hi, Mrs. Weasley," you said, as you hugged Mum in turn.
"Oh, hello, dear," Mum replied, returning your embrace. "I'm so glad you could come," she said and you beamed at her.
"Thank you so much for letting my parents and I intrude; I hope it's not too much trouble."
"None at all, dear, none at all," Mum replied and I could tell how happy she was to have you there.
"Elizabeth, Geoffrey, so nice to see you again," Mum greeted your parents.
"Hello again, Mr. and Mrs. Granger." I shook your father's hand and paused, considering whether I should kiss your Mom, or hug her, or shake her hand too. Luckily, she made the first move and stood to kiss my cheek; I bent down to give her better access and smiled at her.
"So nice to see you again, Ron." Your mother's eyes twinkled at me—the same caramel brown as yours—as though she'd always known that someday she'd be greeting me in this capacity.
"Come in, come in," Mum ushered them inside, offering them tea and biscuits and whatever else she'd been cooking up all morning. Speaking over her shoulder, she asked me to get you settled-in. "Hermione, dear, why don't you help him and then the both of you can join us for a spot of lunch."
~*~
I waited until we were in my room, though I barely made it that far. I swooped you in my arms and kissed you, pouring everything in the gesture, trying to regain the piece of me you'd taken with you when you'd gone away.
"Bloody hell, Hermione."
"Don't swear, Ron," you scolded gently, softly, as you smiled up at me, our foreheads pressed together.
"Bloody hell," I said, just to provoke you, remembering how I'd done much the same as little as a year ago, just for the pleasure of seeing you upset with your skin flushed, your eyes blazing, and your hair falling wildly about your face.
"Hush," you whispered, swatting me lightly on the arm.
"You like it," I grinned, teasing once more, and you shook your head.
"You suffer from a serious case of faulty reasoning," you said.
"Hmm, no," I replied, "I don't believe that's the case at all," I grinned, pulling you closer. You craned your neck to look in my eyes, and from the arch in your right eyebrow I could tell you were skeptical.
"Then how else, pray tell, would you explain this?" you asked, taking the letter I'd sent you last night out of your pocket. I grinned at the sight of it.
"Mmm, thanks for reminding me," I said, puckering my lips exaggeratingly and closing my eyes in waiting. When nothing happened I opened one eye and looked down. You were looking at me as though you remained completely unimpressed by my overwhelmingly rugged good looks and irresistible charms…which, of course, was entirely impossible.
"How, might I ask, did you come to determine these numbers when the more likely scenario is obviously as follows." You pulled out a piece of parchment from your other pocket and handed it to me. I unfolded it and turned to sit on my bed before reading it.
"You're so beautiful, I can't help myself"—987 kisses
"Just because"—1159 kisses
"Because I missed you"—1538 kisses
"Because you're the best girlfriend"—3591 kisses
"Because snogging has become perfectly acceptable now that we've finished exams"—20, 325 kisses.
"Hmm, this is most interesting indeed," I said, peering over the piece of parchment and meeting your eyes as my mouth formed a lopsided grin despite my attempts to suppress it. "What do you say," I began, taking your hand and pulling you down next to me, "we just add these up and forget about just who owes whom?" You seemed to consider it for a minute, and smiled as you answered me with a kiss.
~*~
When your parents left at the end of the week, no one was more sorry to see them go than my father, who made them promise on several occasions that they would visit again. We'd all enjoyed having them around the house and I, in particular, had enjoyed seeing how you resembled them. You were most like your father and it surprised me to see how much I had in common with your mother. I'd met her on a few occasions before, of course, but had never spent any large amount of time with her. Though I found myself liking both of your parents very much, your mother was my favourite.
Ginny had seemed to be getting happier and happier as the days had gone by, and she was positively glowing when she bounced down the stairs, that morning, the day after your parents had gone, a few minutes before Harry was to arrive. You and I were sitting on the sofa, both reading. You were reading another one of Jane Austen's novels, Sense and Sensibility which I hadn't been able to get into (I suppose Pride and Prejudice had only appealed to me so much because of Miss Bennet's and Mr. Darcy's similarities to us). I, on the other hand, was reading a book called A Brief History of Time by a Muggle called Stephen Hawking. His theories were highly interesting if not wholly amusing. Only Muggles would come up with explanations so elaborate; the bloke had obviously never heard of a time turner. Still, your Dad had highly recommended it and had lent me his own copy. He'd struck a fancy in me as he'd told Dad all about technology in the Muggle world and for the first time I'd seriously begun to consider Muggology as a career track.
"Hullo," Ginny greeted us, a large smile on her face. The fire was still glowing green from when Dad had left a few minutes ago to fetch Harry. For "security reasons" we hadn't been able to go along.
"How's Colin?" I asked and you threw me an odd look from over your book. Ginny threw me the same look from the other sofa.
"He's fine, I suppose, why?" she asked me.
"Well I thought the two of you were…friends," I said, becoming confused at Ginny's tone…as though Colin Creevey had been the furthest thing from her mind.
"Yes, I suppose we are, but I haven't spoken to him since after our exams. He's probably visiting Amaryllis for the summer. She told me he was supposed to." Amaryllis…that had been her friend's name. But why on earth was Ginny's boyfriend visiting another girl…and why did she act as though it didn't bother her?
"Are you okay with that?" I asked her, ready to throttle that Creevey git at Ginny's first sign of being upset.
"Of course I am, what are you on about anyway? Colin and Amaryllis have been dating longer than you two have," she said, confusing me even more.
"But," I blundered, "I thought you and Colin…"
"Me and Colin what? Oh…" Her eyes grew wide as she understood. "Why on earth would you think that!?"
"But you…and you…and he…and the train…and before…"
"Try a verb, Ron," you suggested, now snickering behind your book. I had to remember to thank you for your unwavering support, later.
"I heard you tell Amaryllis that you thought he fancied you!" I finally was able to say.
"Oh, that was ages ago. Besides, I was wrong…it was her he fancied."
I would have pursued the subject had a cloud of green smoke not emanated from the fireplace, and had Harry and Dad not stepped out of it a second later. In the midst of greeting Harry, I didn't have time to get to the bottom of what was now the mystery of Ginny's boyfriend. If it wasn't Colin Creevey, who could it possibly be?
I watched as you stepped up to Harry and gave him a hug, and he blushed slightly as he returned it. My stomach flipped at seeing the two of you, but I said nothing. It always made me nervous when I saw you being affectionate with other blokes; after all, I figured it would only be a matter of time before you came to your senses and sent me out on my arse. I knew that I had nothing to worry about with Harry, but that didn't stop me from remembering how not too long ago I had been certain that the two of you had been having a torrid relationship behind my back. Of course, things between you and me had changed since then, and I was no longer convincing myself that you fancied someone else every other day; accusing you of being a Death Eater had been the best thing I'd ever done.
"Hiya, Harry," I greeted him when you'd let him go, and our rugged handshake turned into a back-pounding hug.
"Hiya, Ron," he looked up at me, looking cheerier than I'd seen him in weeks. Merlin knew he'd looked almost as dejected as Ginny the day we'd taken the Hogwarts Express back to Kings Cross. "It feels great to be here; I don't think I could have spent another minute at the Dursleys'," he said.
"Were they giving you trouble again?" I heard Ginny's voice speak from behind me, and was surprised at how worried she sounded. I knew she cared about Harry, after all he was probably like a seventh brother to her, but I'd all but forgotten she was in the room with all the excitement. Harry also seemed to see her for the first time, and he must really have been surprised that she was there because his eyes remained glued on her for what seemed like ages before he spoke.
"No, they were fine," he said and cleared his throat before he continued. It sounded to me like maybe he was getting a cold, because his voice sounded a bit hoarse. "I just really couldn't wait to see you all," he said, clearing his throat again before he could finish his sentence so that really it came out as "I just really couldn't wait to see you—all." I would have to talk to Mum and ask her if she had any Pepperup Potion handy.
"Come on, Harry, let me help you carry your things upstairs," I said, figuring that Ginny could talk to Harry later if she really wanted to, and that she'd probably want to go lock herself in her room to owl her boyfriend like I suspected she'd been doing every single day since she'd gotten home.
"Er, all right," Harry said, hesitating. "I'll see you later, Ginny," he added as I pulled him up the stairs. He was always the polite one, that Harry, wasn't he? Of course, he really needn't be so courteous around Ginny; she was family…she was used to being in a house full of bad manners.
"Ron, why don't you let Harry settle in before you drag him upstairs?" I heard your voice behind me.
"Hermione, I'm just helping him take his luggage upstairs; aren't you the one that always says that you should never do tomorrow what you can do today? It's not like I'm dragging him off to degnome the garden before he's even set foot in the house," I defended, still pulling on Harry's sleeve so that by the time the words had finished leaving my mouth we were already in my room, unloading his trunk. Harry seemed preoccupied, though, and he kept looking at the door as if he was waiting for someone to come through it.
"Is everything all right, Harry? You look as though you're coming down with something," I asked, though he didn't seem to hear me. "Harry? Earth to Harry," I said, getting a bit worried now. He shook himself out of whatever reverie he was in the middle of, however, and finally turned to answer me.
"What? Oh, I'm fine," he said, though I wasn't quite convinced.
~*~
If I thought that Harry's behaviour would get less abnormal as he got settled into the Burrow, I couldn't have been more wrong. If anything, he and Ginny both seemed to be suffering from the same affliction. They were jumpy around each other (every time I walked into a room they were in they always jumped a metre in the air) and when I spent any time with either of them they seemed to be in the clouds, their heads stuck in some daydream. I'd told you about how bizarre everything seemed, but you seemed to think there was nothing wrong with either of them. In fact, you seemed to encourage their behaviour because every time I confronted one or the other on it, you'd come to their defense and then convince me to go for a walk, or remind me that Mum needed me to do something outside, or that you had wanted to go over some of your research for the Potions essay that I had already finished.
After a week and a half of having to endure this bizarre behaviour, I was half-convinced that both Harry and Ginny were under some kind of mind control. I was so worried that something was seriously wrong with one or both of them, in fact, that I'd completely ignored my earlier devotion to finding the truth behind the mystery of Ginny's boyfriend.
"Maybe we should have asked Harry to come with us." We were outside by the pond, on one of what had become our daily walks. Harry and Ginny never came with us, always having some mysterious work to do, or some unique ailment that made them unable to go outside at a particular hour of the day. Ordinarily I wouldn't have minded in the least as it meant that I got to spend some much-needed time alone with you. Tonight, though, I was a little worried.
"Well, he said he was working on his Divination homework," you reminded me for the hundredth time. I really didn't know why you were taking his side tonight of all nights; after all, you put less stock in Divination than you did in Quidditch (even though you'd recently developed a slight interest in the sport thanks to yours truly).
"You know, that just doesn't ring true, Hermione; I've been friends with Harry for a long time, and I know by now when he's keeping something from me. And Divination? You of all people aren't going to buy that he wants to get an advance start on that subject, are you? Maybe we should go back early tonight and see what's going on."
"No, Ron, I don't think that's a good idea," you began, but I was used to your objections. You seemed to think that it was important for Harry to get some time alone, and almost every time I wanted to go see what was wrong with him you would convince me that I should let him be. Tonight, though, I wouldn't let you.
"Hermione, I love you," I said, cupping your face and kissing you lightly, "but I think you're wrong," I told you, and before you had time to react I'd already begun walking back to the house. I could hear you behind me, trying to catch up.
"Ron, wait! I don't think you should bother him, Ron!" You were running now, but my legs were quite a bit longer than yours and I'd already reached the kitchen door, made my way inside, and had gotten half-way upstairs before you caught up to me.
"Ron, please don't," you said from behind me when I'd reached my bedroom door, and my hand remained frozen over the doorknob. I knew before I opened the door that whatever it was that I would find it wouldn't be good. You obviously knew something that I didn't, but nothing could have prepared me for just what that was.
I don't know what's more disturbing, walking in on your little sister and best friend snogging like no tomorrow, groping at each other in ways I'd rather not envision, or realizing that your girlfriend, the girl you love and trust above any other, knew about it the whole time.
What happened next was like slow motion: the door opening, the sound of the hinges creaking, then the gasps of surprise coming from Harry and Ginny, their struggle to get away from each other and pretend as though nothing had happened, Harry's half-hearted explanation, his trying to make light of the situation. I heard the sounds of my steps on the floor boards, felt my arm spring back behind my head, the tightness of my hand as it balled into a fist, and the painful crack of my knuckles as they landed against Harry's jaw. The site of his head fly backwards at the contact seemed to take hours, the panic in Ginny's eyes I knew would stay with me forever, but what I would never forget was the emptiness inside me, the hurt at knowing that all along…all along…you had known and had conspired to hide this from me.
"I can't believe you knew about this," I whispered, surprised I could still talk with the pain coursing through my insides.
"Ron, please let me explain," you pleaded, taking a step towards me, but I couldn't look at you, couldn't have you touching me.
"Don't," I said. One word, four little letters, but it held such power right then. I could see the tears glistening as they began falling down your cheeks and could feel the lump form in my throat as I held back my own. Before any more damage could be done I turned on my heels and left my room, left the Burrow, and began running blindly, a single thought running through my head: why?
I don't know just how far my feet had carried me when I finally stopped running. All I knew was that my lungs were on fire but that the pain was nothing compared to the emptiness I felt…the betrayal I felt. It was one thing for Harry to have been lying to me and dating my sister behind my back. I was upset with him, it was true, but I also knew that in time I would get used to the idea of the two of them together; after all, hadn't I suspected the possibility of an attachment between them earlier, and hadn't the two of us done much the same thing to Harry and Ginny by keeping our relationship a secret for so long? Though part of me understood why I had been angry enough to hit Harry, I also knew that what had driven me to hit him hadn't actually been my anger but my shock. Had it been anyone other than Harry in that room snogging my sister, he would have had the same treatment. Besides, it wasn't Harry that I was worried about; after I let him take a free shot at me, things would be back to normal between us.
My legs gave under me then, and I sank to the ground, gathering my knees up to my chest. If I felt so betrayed, if I felt so alone, it wasn't that Harry and Ginny had been hiding all of this from me. No, the reason I was so indescribably hurt was that not only had you known about those two all along and not told me, but you'd conspired against me to keep me from finding out. Ironically, though, the reason I was so upset now didn't stem so much from the way that you'd hurt me but from the memory of how I had hurt you before I'd run away.
I could still see the look on your face when I'd pushed you away and the glistening of tears as they fell down your cheeks.. I remembered how my own tears had threatened to fall when I saw the heartbroken look on your face and the lump formed in my throat again at the knowledge that I had caused you pain that I would gladly have bore for you had I not been the source of it in the first place. Alone, in that empty field, realizing how horrid I had been to you, I finally gave way to those tears that had been threatening to fall and I cried. I couldn't remember the last time I'd done so, couldn't remember the last time I'd felt so desperately alone as I did now. I cried silently, my body shaking from the effort not to be heard though I knew no one was there to hear. I let my head fall on my knees, and all the pain I'd felt seemed to increase at the thought of the pain that I had caused you. All at once it didn't matter anymore that I felt betrayed by you, it didn't matter anymore that you'd lied to me or that you'd kept Harry's relationship from me. All that mattered was the memory of me hurting you and my wishing that I could do anything to take it back.
I don't know how you ever found me, sitting in the middle of an overgrown field with the long grasses hiding me from open view; I don't know why you even bothered to come after me after the way I'd treated you, but as horrible a fight we'd just had, and despite the fact that had you not forgiven me I wouldn't have been able to blame you, you did come after me, and you did find me. I didn't see you or hear you but the moment I felt arms surround me I knew it was you. I fought to stop the racking of my shoulders, but knowing that you were there, that you hadn't given up on me at all made it impossible for me to stop the tears, which were now coming in torrents. Neither of us said anything when you sat beside me, hugging me close, and when I lifted my head from my knees to take you in my arms I saw the tears glistening in your eyes and put my arms around you; holding each other as though it was the only thing grounding us, we cried together.
It was then that I knew you were the only woman I would ever feel comfortable showing such a degree of emotion without feeling self-conscious about doing so. It was then that I realized that no matter what happened between us, no matter how bad or how difficult things got that I would always care about you and worry about you before I could even begin to think about myself.
"I'm so sorry, Ron, I should have told you," you sobbed into my shoulder, and I stroked your hair, the brown strands like silk between my fingers.
"I'm sorry too," I replied, my voice scratchy and barely above a whisper for its hoarseness. "I never should have pushed you away; I didn't mean it; I could never mean it," I told you and I felt your arms tighten around me in response; we held each other that way well into the night.
~*~
"There is something about that summer that I never told you and that to this day you don't know about. That night, in that field, I realized what I had always known in my heart. I realized that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, that there would never be anyone else in the universe that I could love half as much as I love you. When you and I had made it back to the house, all you know is that I apologized to Harry but what you don't know is that the next morning, while you were still sleeping, he and I left the Burrow and flooed to Diagon Alley.
"Hermione, a week ago I asked you to marry me and you told me that you were afraid that after all these years my feelings for you might not be as powerful as they once had been; the journal you're holding in your hands is one that you asked me to write to prove to you that I love you just as much today as I loved you then. The truth, Hermione, is that there is not a single day that passes by where I don't fall in love with you a little more.
"I'm kneeling in front of you, Hermione, holding a ring that I bought years ago with Harry, the day after, for the first time in my life, I became truly afraid that I might have lost you. I knew then that you were the one for me. I knew then that you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of forever with, and I knew then that even forever wouldn't be enough…that once forever was over, that you were the one person with whom I would want to start it over again with.
"This may not be the most expensive or nicest ring in the world but it's a ring that I've had ever since I was eighteen years old, a ring that I've held onto until now. We've been enemies, friends, lovers, and now it would be my greatest honor if you'll say you'll be my wife.
"Please marry me, Hermione, because despite what you think of everything, knowing you has been the best thing to ever happen to me and no matter what happens from now on, I will always consider myself the luckiest man on earth. I love you."
And then you said yes.
