Author: Yay! Reviews! I like reviews! *hugs reviewers* I post the next chapter! Enjoy!!!
Disclaimer: The usual stuff, and I borrowed the spell 'Bomb-Di-Wind' from the anime 'Slayers.'
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"Yarr! Ye not be swabing the decks good enough!" Gandalf, aka Graybeard/Whitebeard poked Legolas with his strap-on peg leg.
Legolas gritted his teeth and scrubbed the deck harder.
"Yarr! Ye missed a spot!" Arrr-agorn pointed to a spot behind the Cabin Boy.
'Can't they start a sentence without it beginning with 'yarr?' Legolas scowled in annoyance and turned to dip his rag into the soap bucket--and saw his wrinkly fingers.
"Eeee! My skin! I'm shriveling up!" Legolas shrieked.
"Aye, 'tis a hard life at sea Leg 'o Lot!" Gimli agreed.
Legolas threw the bucket and hit Gimli in the face. "LEGOLAS you stupid dwarf! LEG-O-LAS!"
Arrr-agorn lent a comforting hand to the over-stressed Cabin Boy's shoulder. "Easy lad! There be no room for quarrel on this here ship. 'Twas hard for me when I first came to the open seas, Yarr! And that be only this morning!"
"Can we still eat him?" Merry the Growler asked, both he and Pippin the Biter had their forks at the ready.
"Eeep!" Legolas shrank back and clung to Arrr-agorn.
'Nay! This one's not for eating!" Arrr-agorn told them.
"Aww, I wanted to comfort the Cabin Boy!" Boromir whined from the crow's nest above.
"We's don't care what ye wants 8th Mate. Arrr!" Graybeard/Whitebeard stuck his finger in his mouth and tested the wind with it. He grinned. "Arr, just right! Prepare to set sail!" He cried.
1st Mate Arrr-agorn turned to Legolas. 'I appoint ye to untie the ship from the docks!"
Legolas felt his stomach sink to his shoes. "B-but I can't swim!"
"Arr! There won't be any need to! I'll tie a rope 'round ye and let ye dangle over like a fish!"
"I'd rather not…" Legolas tried to run away, but where could he run away to on a ship? Arrr-agorn neatly tripped him and looped some rope around his middle.
"But I don't wanna!" Legolas cried and dug his nails into the deck.
"Yarr! There be no sissy members in MY crew!" Gandalf waved his staff menacingly. "Go get 'im hobbits!"
"Aye!" All the pirate hobbits chorused, and as a group grabbed the kicking and screaming Legolas and threw him overboard.
"AAHHHHHH" Legolas screamed, and then *PLOP!* He fell face-first into sticky mud. "Huh?" Legolas pulled himself up from the gooey earth, and looked around in shock.
They were not in the ocean, nor were they anywhere near any large bodies of water for that matter. In fact, they were still in the middle of the forest.
"What the--" Legolas then became enraged. "We're still in the forest you idiots!" He cried at the crew in the out-of-place pirate ship.
"Yarr! Ye be mistakin' cabin boy!" Gimli the Ugly pointed below. "We be sailing in deep waters below!"
Legolas followed the finger pointing to the small puddle under the ship, and he blinked. "It's a puddle…" He trailed. "How did this ship get here?" He asked uncertainly.
"Yarr! We built it while ye were snoozing!" 2nd Mate Frodo the Stinger growled.
"Why did I even bother to ask!" Legolas grumbled to himself and untied the one rope anchoring the ship to a small tree, then was yanked back into the ship by Arrr-agorn.
"Ow! My nose!" Legolas cried as his face smacked against the ship.
"Yarr! You great land-lubber! I'll make you a worthy seadog yet!" Arrr-agorn growled as he pulled Legolas aboard.
"Now mateys…we set sail!" Captain Graybeard/Whitebeard raised his staff towards the sails. "BOMB-DI-WIND!!!" An incredible blast of wind shot from his staff into the sails, and the ship began to move with surprising speed.
Legolas was thrown off balance and fell back into Arrr-agorn. "Arr! Ye seems to likes tumbling into me!" Arrr-agorn growled suggestively.
Legolas suddenly felt seasick "Why me?" The miserable Cabin Boy complained.
***
They sailed non-stop for the rest of the day, when nightfall approached Captain Graybeard/Whitebeard finally decided to drop anchor.
"Arrr! We's forgot to make an anchor!" 1st Mate Arrr-agorn told his captain. Legolas felt like now was a good time for hiding.
"No we's haven't!" Gandalf grabbed Boromir who was trying unsuccessfully to slink away. "We's got 8th Mate Boromir to be our anchor!"
"I don't wanna be the anchor!" Boromir whined.
"Stow it 8th Mate!" Gandalf growled and handed Boromir the end of a rope, and pushed him overboard.
"Now then!" Gandalf turned to his crew, ignoring the sickening crunch when the 'anchor' hit the ground. "We's got some restin' to do! Then tomorrow…" His one un-patched eye glowed with anticipation. "We attack Rivendell!"
"Yarrr!!!" The Fellowship Pirates all cried with glee.
'Oh no! Not Rivendell!' Legolas thought with fear.
"Arrr! Then let us get some sleep me buckos!" Captain Graybeard/Whitebeard replaced his huge pirate hat with that of a nightcap *decorated with little pirate skulls* he placed a tiny matching nightcap on the dead parrot 9th Mate Pickle's head. "Yarr! Good night ye scurvy dogs!" He swaggered off into his quarters.
"Arr! Goodnight Captain!" The crew replied, then went their separate ways for the night.
Legolas went to a pile of spare canvas and settled himself uncomfortably on it. Everyone else had a separate cabin except for the lowly Cabin Boy.
Arrr-agorn appeared out of nowhere. "Yarr! Ye can share quarters with me for the night!"
"Yeeek!" Legolas fell backwards. "Don't scare me like that!" He snapped, then paused. "What did you say?"
"I's says ye can stay in my quarters for the night!" Arrr-agorn repeated, grabbing the Cabin Boy's hand and hoisting him up. "Ye can stay as long as ye likes!"
"Um, that's okay…" Legolas felt his cheeks turn slightly red. Why was he reacting like this?
Arrr-agorn shrugged, a little disappointed. "Suite yerself matey." He turned and left for his quarters.
Legolas watched him go, that dark blue ruffled overcoat did look quite dashing on his figure…Legolas mentally slapped himself. 'I must be going insane like the rest of them.' He thought as he nestled himself under the canvas for an uncomfortable night of sleep.
Little did they knew, a band of Sarumon's orcs were fast-approaching the sleeping pirate ship.
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What will happen next??? If you like this story, please Review! This story must be loved for me to continue it!!!
