Title: Cross My Heart

Author: Yugure

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own Slayers. Duh?

Notes: About Zelgadis and his willingness to divulge his past… yeah, I suppose he wouldn't tell Lina even if she did threaten to Fireball his cute derriere. But that wouldn't make for a very good story, would it?


The loud tapping echoed throughout the room, giving Zelgadis a feeling of emptiness and despair. He quickly pulled the cowl of his cloak down over his face and stood up. His muscles felt sore from his fitful sleep.

"It's dawn. And not a moment before!" Juliana's cheerful voice exclaimed from the other side of the wooden door. Zelgadis grasped the brass handle and gave a quick jerk, dislodging the door from its frame and causing Juliana to "eep!" and step back.

"Show me to the Rune," Zelgadis blurted before his mind fully completed his thoughts.

"Okay, okay. But would you like breakfast first?"

Zelgadis glanced down at the tray Juliana carefully balanced on one hand. Loaded with sumptuous fruit and delicious-smelling meat, the plate beckoned his starving stomach. It even seemed to be calling his name…

"Yes, that would be wonderful," Zelgadis said as he took the tray from Juliana. He turned around and started to close the door with his foot when he noticed the look on Juliana's face. "Ah… would you care to join me?"

"I'd love to!" The sad frown immediately lifted to a happy smile. Zelgadis hid his disappointment and sat down on one of the benches. Juliana settled down next to him, picked up a giant strawberry, and held it up in front of his face.

"I love these! They're just so sweet. Here, try it!"

"…" Zelgadis stared at her as if she were a madwoman. After an uncomfortable moment of silence, Zelgadis coughed and said, "I can feed myself, thank you."

"Oh, sorry." Juliana blushed and dropped the strawberry. She turned away.

"You're welcome to have whatever you want, though. I don't think I'll be able to eat all this."

"Why don't you take off your cloak to eat? It must be-"

"No!" Zelgadis exclaimed, in fear that Juliana might forcibly throw back his hood. When she turned back to give him an odd look, he ducked his head. "What I mean is, no, I don't want to take it off, and it's not that difficult to eat around it."

"Tell you what. I'll go wait in the hall, and when you're done, you come and get me. Okay?"

"All right." Out of the corner of his eye, Zelgadis watched as Juliana disappeared into the hallway, closing the door with a gentle thud. Sighing in relief, Zelgadis threw back the hood of his cloak. It was a stupid mistake, to let her sit down with him. Why on earth he even offered, he didn't know. True, he often ate while wearing his cloak pulled tight around him, but alone, he preferred to eat normally. It reminded him of what he used to be.

Zelgadis lifted a succulent strawberry to his lips.

Before he could react, the door cracked open.

"Oh, and if you need anything…" Juliana's voice trailed off, her eyes growing wide as she stuck her head across the threshold of the room. Zelgadis froze. Time seemed to stop. The strawberry plopped back down on the plate. Juliana stepped further into the room, a feat not many could accomplish when faced with a chimera.

"Oh my g-"

"Don't say anything!" Zelgadis suddenly cried. He snatched his cloak and pulled it over his head; pulled in close to his body. Through the cloth he yelled, "Go away! Leave me alone! Don't speak to me!"

"What are you?" Instead of leaving, Juliana inched forward and tentatively reached out her hand. She steeled herself and let her curiosity take over. She tugged at the cloak, but it would not release from Zelgadis's iron grip.

"I said leave!"

"Not until you tell me what you are! Are you a demon? An evil spirit? How could you enter the sanctity of this shrine?"

"I'm not evil…" Zelgadis insisted, although it seemed more of a reassurance to himself than an explanation to her.

"You're a chimera, aren't you? Oh my goodness, oh my… Zelgadis? Please let me see you again."

"No."

"Now stop being difficult!"

"I only want you to help me read the Rune. That's all. Nothing more." Juliana remained silent. She let go of the cloak and stepped back. She waited. Zelgadis shifted uncomfortably. "Juliana?" Zelgadis relaxed his grip on the cloak.

Without warning, Juliana grasped the cloth and pulled with all her might. The cloak unwound itself from Zelgadis's body and piled in a heap at Juliana's feet. Zelgadis looked up, a flash of anger and resentment in his eyes.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Juliana said quickly. "I don't think I could, even if I wanted to. You don't have to be afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid."

"Really? That's good…"

"But are you?" Zelgadis stood up. Juliana flinched. Her curiosity wilted, and her inner fears rose in an overwhelming wave. She stepped back. Zelgadis took another step, and grasped Juliana's arm with lightning quick speed. "Does it disgust you? Does it make you wince, make you shudder, make you sick, when I touch you? Doesn't your mind tell your body to run when you see me? I can see the fear in your eyes. You tell me I shouldn't be afraid, but I cannot follow the word of a hypocrite."

"You're hurting me…" Juliana's words were a mere whisper. Tears welled in her eyes. Zelgadis let go and mentally reprimanded himself for letting his anger get the best of him. Juliana rubbed her throbbing arm.

"So now you see what I really am. Are you still going to help me?"

"Yes."

Both looked shocked; Zelgadis from hearing it, and Juliana from hearing herself say it. Juliana wasn't sure what to do next; part of her wanted to run from the room and never see this chimera again, but a part of her simply couldn't walk away.

"Answer me this, and answer truthfully. Do you find my appearance horrific, or frightening, in any way?"

"Yes," Juliana replied. "You terrify me."

"Thank you. Can you take me to the Rune now?"

With a nod of her head, Juliana exited the room and didn't watch to see if Zelgadis followed her. After a forlorn look at the tray of food, Zelgadis did.