Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z, or any of its characters. They belong to Akira Toriyama. I own this plotline, however.

AU plotline: What if Chichi had died having Goten, and Gohan blamed himself for everything?

Translations: Gaki = boy (insulting, like 'brat') Ani = older brother, when oneself is talking about him.

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THE SHADOWS OF MY HEART

Chapter One-- The Real World
**Seven years later**
A tall young man with night black hair and sharp ebony eyes walked the streets of the famous Satan City; home of the World Champion of Martial Arts, who had saved the world seven years ago. This boy wasn't noticeably different at first sight from the other people around him, other than the way his hair defied gravity. However, on closer inspection, one could see the way he held himself, and almost feel the aura emitting from the youth, and then there would be no doubt in one's mind that this boy was something else.

It wasn't just that he was extraordinarily good looking, or that he had arrived on the outskirts of the city with no sign of a car. To the seasoned eye, he stood like a fighter. His stance was somewhat relaxed, but that didn't hide the proud tilt of his head, or the alert way in which he was aware of his surroundings, or the almost unnatural swiftness of his movements at all times.

He took in the setting with a curiosity that belied the fact that he was new to the area, but he wasn't gawking, as was usual of tourists. Nor was he dressed in tourist garb. There was no camera hanging around his neck, no sunglasses, or visor. He wore a pair of beat up jeans, a loose white shirt, and a black jacket covering his muscular arms. Despite the casual getup, women eyed him appreciatively as he walked by. The looks weren't returned, as the boy seemed to have no concern for anyone around him.

The young man was entering one of the more popular areas of the city, centered around the Orange Star High School and the Satan City Mall. At the moment, he was on a street lined with all kinds of different shops: manicure and pedicure, coffee shops, fast food restaurants, small clothing stores, and everything inbetween.

//It might as well be my first time here, it's been so long,// Gohan thought, a bit disturbed. //Everything's changed so much. I wonder if I'll even be able to *find* Capsule Corp.// As he passed by, a girl gave him a look over, earning him the hostile glare of her boyfriend. //What is *with* all these people looking at me today?// he wondered, slightly irate. //I took special care that there was nothing unusual about my appearance.// He didn't want any unnecessary attention, though there wasn't any reasonable cause for his concern.

Gohan came to a spot where the street widened out considerably, so that there would be room for a small grassy island inbetween the two lanes. Just enough space to fit in a fairly large statue there.

"That guy's got a hell of an ego." he murmured to himself, frowning at the stone construction with disgust. Hairy arms, huge afro, even bigger mouth.Yup, it was Mr. Satan all right. Just because the young saiyajin had allowed the so-called champion to claim credit for defeating Cell didn't mean he liked how the man took advantage of his situation so outrageously.

The statue captured the essence of the man completely.Mr. Satan was in one of his ridiculous poses, his mouth wide in the empty-headed, arrogant smile that he used so often. Gohan felt his lip curling, he couldn't help it. //That man has his head even further up his ass than Vejiita does his own.//

An almost smirk crossed Gohan's face as he came up with an idea. Looking up and down the street quickly, he crossed it and walked over to the statue. He laid one hand on it, as if reverentially looking up to a hero. He discharged a subtle wave of energy into the rock, but not enough to do it serious damage. The next person who approached this statue was in for a surprise.It would most likely crumble into dust the moment it was touched.

Being careful not to touch the statue again, Gohan went back to the sidewalk and continued on his way, no worse for the wear. //I can't believe I had to resort to such petty means for a bit of revenge.// Gohan mused. //Or maybe that's a good thing that I reacted so normally. Most people are slightly petty, at least I think so..//

Realizing that wandering around the city would do him no good, Gohan stopped in front of a movie theater, deciding to pursue a solution logically. //There's no way I can get lost; I could just follow Bulma and Vejiita's chi to find their location. I'm also early, and I don't want to get there early; if Bulma thinks that I hang on her every whim like when I was little, she's got another thing coming.//

The saiyajin teen hadn't seen or talked to Bulma, Vejiita, or their son since Chichi had died. In fact, he had not seen anyone from the Z gang in quite some time. The last had been Kuririn and Juuhachi two years back, but not since then.

It would have continued that way had he not found a semi urgent message from Bulma on his answering machine. He didn't know why she wanted him at Capsule Corp., but he found no plausible reason to back out of the meeting, other than the fact it made him feel strangely uneasy. So Gohan was forced to comply. He did, however, make sure that he called to affirm when Bulma was asleep, so he wouldn't have to actually talk to her.

A unpleasant rumbling sound was emitting from his stomach. He recognized the complaint for what it was, and knew that he couldn't ignore his inherited hunger. It would just result in abdominal pain as the uncomfortably empty organ tried to cajole him into getting something to eat.

"I guess it's food, then," he sighed, resigned to spending a little of his pocket cash. It wasn't as though he were lacking in the money department; he had entered a few miscellaneous fighting tournaments over the years, spacing them out so he wouldn't be recognized. He also did an occasional odd job, which, coupled with his winnings, his father's past winnings, and his mother's savings, were well enough to keep he and Goten comfortable. Perhaps this was due to the fact that a large portion of their food they fished for, or hunted, themselves.

Though all of Gohan's past experiences with saiyajin pointed to the fact that they would eat just about anything, Goten had proven to be a slightly picky eater. This had surprised the older saiyajin, because his brother could still pack plenty of food away when he had something he liked. Fortunately for them, the six-year old was mostly just particular about fruits and vegetables. He liked the fish and game that were abundant in their mountain area.

Smiling inwardly as he thought of his younger sibling but outwardly maintaining an indifferent visage, Gohan searched for a fast food restaurant. He knew that he should eat in one of those places because it wouldn't seem strange if he ordered a lot of food. He spotted one that had a large sign marked by two golden arches above the building and walked inside. Luckily for the starving teen, there wasn't much of a line, and he got to order without having to wait very long.

He had glanced over the menu before he ordered, and eyed the size of the burgers skeptically. What he wouldn't give for one of his mom's huge, homecooked meals right now.Gohan ruthlessly cut off that line of thought.

"I'll take one of everything," he said calmly. The man behind the register didn't bat an eye at what must have been a fairly unusual request. //I guess they get group orders,// Gohan speculated, not knowing why he cared about something so mundane.

"One of everything?" a voice behind him sneered. It was out of the normal hearing range of a human, but well within that of a saiyajin. "I bet this guy can't afford regular groceries, so he has to buy fast food for a month. I mean, look at his clothes!"

Gohan bristled immediately, but kept a cold exterior, holding a tight rein on his anger. //Your kind of anger can get you and the people around you killed, Gohan, remember that,// was one of the lessons that he had drilled into himself over the years. //Some punk is insulting you, not even knowing who you are, and you're going to let him get away with it?// his saiyajin side argued. He ignored it to take his numbered receipt from the waiter and sit at one of the side chairs.

He hadn't turned around to look at the person who had plucked at his temper, but now he could look at him without seeming to. Gohan's dark, shadowed eyes darted to a ridiculously muscled boy with long blonde hair that reached to his shoulder blades while his ears confirmed his suspicions. The boy gave a mocking laugh to one of the girls standing near him, and Gohan matched his voice. His eyes narrowed.

//He's wearing a black tank top and denim jeans, and he's talking about how *I* dress?// Gohan snorted mentally. Must be a dumb jock. Gohan had never met one before, being as isolated as he was, but this guy perfectly matched the description. One of his companions seemed to be about to say something, so he keyed in.

"Lay off, Sharpner." It was a girl with long red hair and a pretty face who spoke. "It isn't nice to always go off on everyone you see. The guy's probably just picking up food for a party or something, give him a break."

Gohan felt slightly gratified, nodding slightly, even though the girl's thought wasn't true. 'Sharpner's other friend with short blonde hair responded next.

"Did you get a good look at that guy? He's hot! Way, way, hot!" she giggled, and Gohan successfully kept a blush from his face, reminding himself that he wasn't supposed to be able to hear their conversation. "Wonder if he goes to our school? He looks about the same age."

The Sharpener rolled his eyes as the red haired girl stepped up to place their orders. "Honestly, Erasa!" he said, sounding like it was something he'd said before. "The guy didn't look like anything special to me. He's a wimpy geek! If you're looking for someone to ogle, I'm right here!"

Gohan's feelings of gratification evaporated in face of the larger offense. He looked sourly at the blonde pretty-boy. He wasn't vain or anything, but the comment was definitely insulting. //Plain as the carpet, am I?//

"94? 94!" Gohan winced as his number came over the loudspeaker. Sensitive hearing was sometimes a bad thing.

"I heard you the first time," he said irritably as he walked over and began to stack tray on top of tray of food. Eventually, the stack was ten trays tall, but Gohan managed to get it to a booth without dropping anything other than a few fries. He felt oddly morose about that, and for a moment half considered picking them up and eating them anyway. //Five minute rule.Nah.// The tantalizing smell of the greasy food was far too alluring to worry about a few measly fries.

"Hey. Hey, Sharpner." Gohan couldn't help but hear the blonde girl, Erasa, whispering. "We're gonna get a place near that hot guy, all right? Come over when you have the food."

"Erasa!" the red headed girl giggled, feigning reluctance, but allowed herself to be dragged into a booth that was opposite the table where Gohan was sitting.

Feeling unusually self-conscious, Gohan didn't gorge, like he usually did. It would take him forever to eat all of the food at the slow, measured pace he was at now, and his stomach was screaming in protest, but he'd gone days without food before. This was no biggie. Just as long as he didn't stuff his face.

"Hi there!" Erasa said brightly, striving to gain the handsome saiyajin's attention. Gohan looked up at her, setting down his fifth hamburger. His self-consciousness was gone, replaced by the apathy that had characterized him since his parents' death.

"Yes?" he said indifferently. He noticed the girl with red hair looking at him, too, but he didn't much care if he had been kind of rude. They wanted to talk to him, they'd have to deal with his answers. Erasa, however, wasn't put off so easily.

"I'm Erasa, and this is Angela," she said, gesturing toward her friend. "Just wanted to say hi, you look kind of lonely." Gohan, of course, wasn't looking any such thing, but Erasa winked suggestively anyway. Gohan rolled his eyes, but it wasn't visible.

"Oh," he said, then noticed that they were waiting for something. Sighing, Gohan reached over and shook both of their hands.. No matter how much he didn't want to talk to them, Chichi had always raised him to be polite, and even after six years without her influence, he still couldn't be *extremely* rude. "Gohan."

"Gohan?" a male voice snorted. "What kind of name is that?" The three teens turned around, and saw, with varying degrees of enthusiasm, that Sharpner had arrived with the girls' food. Gohan's eyes narrowed imperceptibly, while Angela smacked Sharpner on the back of the head as he sat down.

"Gohan is a perfectly good name," Erasa pouted.

"Your name isn't any better," Angela pointed out smugly.

"Oh?" Gohan's eyes widened innocently, hiding the maliciousness he was feeling. //Control your anger, stupid boy!// his mind shouted, but he wasn't listening. "What's your name, Blonde Boy?"

"It's Sharpner, and if you know what's good for you, you won't make fun of my hair again, geek," Sharpner snarled. He didn't know why, but he was feeling strangely defensive around the dark haired stranger. Maybe it was because Erasa and Angela obviously found him so attractive. He was feeling a definite threat to his manhood.

Gohan stared at Sharpner intensely. He didn't know why the blonde teen was reacting so badly to him, but he wasn't about to try and make 'amends' for something he hadn't done. If Sharpner wanted to get on his bad side, he wouldn't warn him.

"So, Gohan," Erasa chirped, ignoring the tension in the air. "I've never seen you around OSH, do you go there? How old are you?"

//They're not going to try and start a conversation, are they?// "Seventeen," Gohan replied, lying slightly, and still insisting on giving short answers. Though technically he had been born seventeen years ago, the year in a day inside the Room of Spirit and Time made him physically eighteen. However, he had decided to keep this a secret, since nobody would believe him, anyway. "What's OSH?"

The trio stared at him. "Only the most famous high school in the city," Sharpner said finally. "What, have you been living under a rock or something?"

"Well, being home schooled is basically the same thing, I guess," Gohan said blandly. These people were really rubbing him the wrong way. Maybe city people were naturally rude. He thought about Bulma and guessed it might be true. "I've never gone to school before, and this is my first time in this city." His tone rather implied strongly that they should leave him alone, but Erasa was incredibly dense in this area.

"Home schooled? Really?" Erasa sounded immensely disappointed, but Gohan couldn't fathom why. She perked up visibly, then. "Are you going to be around long? Me and the guys could show you around, give you a tour of the city." Sharpener looked at her like she was crazy, volunteering his precious time like that. //I could be lifting weights!// he thought, scandalized.

Gohan waved his hand, getting irritated, even letting his lips twitch for a moment before settling back into impassivity. "No. I'm only going to be here for today." He let the bluntness of his words support his case.

"Just for today, then?" Erasa pressed, while Sharpner subtly tried to get her to shut up. Angela didn't care either way, even if it might be fun to show the new guy around. "You must want to take in the sights of the famous place while you can?"

"Actually, I have an *appointment*," Gohan said, narrowing his eyes. Unbeknownst to the three friends, he had been munching on his food at superspeed while they were talking, so the food had essentially vanished. They noticed suddenly, as he crumpled up the last wrapper with a loud crinkling noise. "I've used up pretty much all my time, now. I have to go, but it was really nice meeting you. Maybe I'll see you if I come back sometime." //Highly unlikely.//

"Okay," Erasa said reluctantly. Angela and Sharpner had given up and fallen back on eating their food, which had been getting cold, ignored during the conversation. "Let me give you my phone number, at least." Before Gohan could react, Erasa had gotten hold of his hand, and was scribbling a number on it with a pen from her purse. She smiled brightly when she released his hand.

"Uhm, yeah." Gohan stared at his hand. What a weird lunch. "Nice to meet you all. See you." //Let me *out* of this looney town.//

"Ciao," Angela waved.

"Whatever," Sharpner scoffed.

"I hope you'll consider going to high school!" Erasa said, waving madly. Gohan left speedily, not paying attention to her remark.

-------oooo000oooo-------

"I really hope we see him again," Erasa said, sitting back down reluctantly. "He's just too hot to let go."

Angela agreed. "Yeah, you definitely don't see a guy like that every day. He seemed kinda rude though. And there was something different about him."

"Yeah, like his clothes, his hair, his attitude," Sharpner ranted. "Can you believe the nerve of him? I'll bet he thinks he's hot stuff! Next thing I know, he could be showing up at Orange Star and trying to steal Videl away from me!"

"Excuse me?" Angela retorted, raising her eyebrows and resting her chin on her hands. "1) Videl is not your girlfriend. 2) The guy hasn't even met Videl before. And 3) You are so paranoid." She laughed an shook a finger at him to emphasize her point. "Videl would kick your ass for saying stuff like that."

Sharpner grumbled and Erasa giggled, but the topic was eventually dropped.

-------oooo000oooo-------

//*Very* weird lunch,// Gohan amended. He *was* running out of time, though. //Great, I must have let them sidetrack me,// Gohan thought, annoyed. //I won't be able to walk, I'll have to run.// He searched for a moment in the general direction that he thought Capsule Corp. to be, and almost immediately felt Vejiita's chi, which was obvious since he was much stronger than any of the surrounding humans.

Locking onto that power, Gohan glanced about, then backed into an alley. He wrinkled his nose at the smell and sight of the spilled garbage cans, but he didn't want anyone to see him. In the blink of an eye, he was flying high enough above the city that no one should be able to make out his shape, so he headed for Capsule Corp.

Gohan flew silently and contemplated; flying was one of his favorite and most relaxing things to do. He found that he could forget the past and dream lazily when the wind was whipping his clothes and hair. This internal and external peace lasted wholly ten seconds. Then the fluffy yellow cloud came into view.

"Gohan! Hi Gohan!" A smiling seven year old with oh-so-familiar black, spiky hair, and warm black eyes sat perched atop the Kinto'un. Gohan tried to muster irritation at his brother for coming to the city, but failed.

Gohan slowed up automatically to match pace with the Goten, since he had surpassed Kinto'un in speed long ago. Giggling a bit, the small demi- saiyajin abandoned the cloud for Gohan's back, though Kinto'un stayed right beside them.

"What are you doing here, Goten?" Gohan said, turning on his 'big, responsible brother' voice. Goten wasn't affected in the least.

"I wanted ta see where they live!" he said matter-of-factly. 'They' being Bulma, Vejiita, and Trunks, Gohan assumed. Though Goten had never met them, he had heard all of the tales of the Z senshi's adventures time and time again. He never got tired of them, requesting them as his bedtime stories almost every night. Gohan wasn't much surprised that he had to take the opportunity to meet them.

"You aren't angry, are you Gohan?" Goten asked, Son Puppy Dog Eyes in full power.

"No, I'm not angry," Gohan assured him. What on earth was he going to do with a small saiyajin child at Capsule Corp.? He'd get lost! Or end up in Vejiita's gravity room somehow and get the snot beaten out of him. Gohan had trained Goten regularly from the moment he was old enough, but he wasn't anywhere near strong enough to contend with Vejiita. That is, if the ornery Saiyajin no Ouji still kept up with his training.

"What am I going to do with you, gaki-chan?" Gohan wondered out loud, affectionately using the not-so-affectionate-sounding nickname, which was softened only by the fond suffix.

"*Not* send me home say, 'No dinner for a week, Goten!'? Please?" the boy pleaded anxiously, trying to be subtle but utterly failing in the attempt. Gohan looked at him in surprise and saw that he was serious, watching him worriedly. Fighting the urge to grin, Gohan realized that his brother had actually thought he would be punished by being cut off from his precious food supply. On the rare occasion that Goten behaved particularly badly, Gohan sent him to bed without any food; he knew now that Goten lived trepidation at the thought.

"I don't know," Gohan said slyly, looking over his shoulder at the boy perched on his back. "I specifically told you not to follow me here. Maybe a couple of nights of straight sparring, no breaks." he trailed off suggestively, and was rewarded by Goten's wails.

"No, no, Ani! Anything but that! I'll be good! I'll train!! I'll study! Please can I have dinner?!" Goten begged. "Food is healthy for growin' boys, and I'm a small boy, with a lot t'grow, so I need lotsa food!! Right?"

Gohan tried not to chuckle. "That's right, gaki-chan. All right, you can come, you can have dinner. I expect you to work extra hard on your training and studying, okay?"

"Okay, Gohan!" Goten beamed at his brother happily, content once more.

//He reminds me of Father more and more every day. Dad would have been proud of him,// Gohan thought suddenly, his heart twisting with a strange mix of anguish and pride. He didn't stop to consider whether Goku would have been proud of his firstborn son, as well.

//Goten's pretty much as strong as I was at that age, and I was on Namek then. Even without all the constant fighting that I was put through, he's amazing. And he just maintains his innocence completely. Maybe he's not as smart as I was, but I guess I don't push him as hard as Mom pushed me,// Gohan reflected, before pushing thoughts of Chichi and Goku away. //Still painful, after all these years.//

"Hey, Gohan?" Goten queried.

"Yeah, Goten?" Gohan said absently.

"Don't the Briefses live in a big house, with lots 'n lots of grass an' stuff around?"

"Mm-hmm." //He got that from the stories.// "Why?

"Well.We just flew over it, Ani."

"Whaa-?!" Gohan screeched to a halt in midair, and would've lost Goten if the boy hadn't had such a grip on the back of his jacket. Luckily, there would be no Goten-pancakes today. "Oops, sorry about that, Goten. Thanks for snapping me out of it."

Goten nodded faithfully, silently wondering what 'it' was.

Gohan dropped through the clouds and touched down easily. Goten clambered off his back and would have run immediately to the housing part of the huge complex if Gohan hadn't stopped him.

"All right, I want you to listen to me carefully, Goten," Gohan said seriously. Goten nodded up at him, smiling widely.

"Okay, Gohan!" he chirped cheerfully.

"The Briefs' have a son, a year older than you."

"Really?" Goten hopped up and down excitedly. "I get a playmate?! A real playmate?"

Distracted from what he was about to say, Gohan said, mock-wounded, "*I* play with you, gaki-chan! I'm not a real playmate?"

"Oh, you're the best, Ani," Goten said gravely, still fidgeting with eagerness. "But it's fun to have someone else little, too,"

"I wouldn't know," Gohan said ruefully. "I never had someone around my age, so feel lucky. Anyway, his name is Trunks, and I want you to find him and play, or cause random destruction, like usual." The little saiyajin didn't mean to, but he got into the worst scrapes sometimes. //At least this time it'll be Bulma and Vejiita's problem. Hell, they can *afford* to have anything fixed, anyway.// "Got that, Goten?"

"Name's Trunks, find him and play, or else tear the whole building down," Goten repeated dutifully, grinning wildly. //I hope he wasn't taking me seriously,// Gohan thought worriedly.

"Right," he said anyway, watching Goten sidelong. "And don't bother Vejiita, whatever you do, if you run into him." //I can see it now, little bits of Goten flung to the four corners of the globe.// Gohan felt slightly sick. "C'mon, let's go see Bulma."

-------oooo000oooo-------

Bulma sneezed violently and, sniffling, rubbed her nose. Then she remembered that her glove was covered with oil. Swearing colorfully, she pushed with her feet to roll out from under the machine she was working on. She took off the gloves, put her wrench down, and went stomping out of her lab to look in a bathroom mirror.

//Please, please say I didn't get any on my fa-// "Aw, shit!" Bulma groaned. There was a black smear under her nose so wide that it looked like she was sporting a mustache. //Awwww...// She soaked a washcloth hastily and scrubbed above her lip. Other than the top part, it wasn't coming off. "Come on, you." she growled, then the doorbell rang.

"Huh?" Bulma looked up, not sure that she had heard right. A second later, it rang again, impatiently. //Hell! Who could that be?// She punched a button in the wall. "Vejiita!" she bellowed into the com, hoping that he hadn't purposely broken the communicator again. "Answer the door, and don't kill anyone!"

The system she had rigged up over the house was one of her more genius inventions, really. It connected every room to the kitchen and gravity room, so that a hologram of Bulma could pop up at any time in one of the few places that the Saiyajin no Ouji usually hung out.

A crackling voice answered as the bell started to ring multiple times. "Get yourself, onna!" Vejiita rasped.

"I *can't*!" Bulma hissed, looking straight at the little image of Vejiita projected on the sink. She had chosen not to project a hologram this time though, so he couldn't see the state her face was in and mock her for it later. "My face-."

//Wait, that must be Gohan!// Bulma realized suddenly. //What time is it?// "Never mind Vejiita, I'll get it." The blue haired inventor dashed for the door with all speed, determined not to give Gohan a reason to slip away this one time she had managed to get him to come.

-------oooo000oooo-------

Gohan stood uncomfortably at the front door, Goten still clinging to one arm and chirruping on about a playmate. //Where is she?// he wondered. //She wouldn't have forgotten that I was coming, would she? I mean, Bulma's not the type of person- Wait.// He thought back and carefully went over his knowledge of the feisty woman who had been his father's first friend. //Actually, that's just the sort of thing she would do. Get lost in working on something, let it totally slip her mind.//

He sighed and reached forward to ring the bell again- and jerked back involuntarily as the door opened abruptly.

"Whee," Goten giggled, swinging on Gohan's arm.

"Hello, Gohan," Bulma began calmly, managing to look dignified despite the fact that she was wearing filthy overalls, her hair was a mess, and there was some sort of black goo streaked below her nose. "I'm glad you- ." she trailed off as she suddenly caught sight of Goten, who was smiling his father's smile and looking at her curiously.

Blue eyes widened, stared at Goten, widened, and stared some more, moments of silence ticking by. It a full minute before Gohan remembered that Bulma was meeting his sibling for the first time, and had never seen him, not even directly after he was born.

"This is Son Goten, Bulma," Gohan said quietly, lifting his arm up and consequently pulling Goten to sit in his arms. "Say hi to Bulma, Goten."

"Hi Mrs. Bulma lady," Goten said somewhat shyly, still smiling, but half burying his face in his brother's shirt, peering at Bulma sideways. He cautiously raised both of his hands, closing all but two on his left. "I'm seven."

Bulma raised her eyes to Gohan's, unshed tears glistening as she covered her mouth, halting a cry. The regal, somewhat haughty woman was gone, replaced by a girl who has lost her best friend all over again.

"Oh, my Kami, Gohan," she gasped. "H-He looks just like -- *just like* -- Gokuu!"

"Yeah," Gohan said quietly, looking down at Goten, who obviously had no idea whatsoever what they were speaking of. "Can I come in, Bulma?"

Bulma nodded soundlessly, her limited supply of words in this shocked state used up already. She widened the door and moved aside to let them through.

Gohan lead Goten to where he thought the living room should be and- yes, there it was. Bulma had followed them closely, and Gohan met her gaze for a moment, a silent question in his eyes. She nodded imperceptibly.

"You can go ahead and find Trunks now, Goten," Gohan said, swatting the boy on the shoulder in encouragement. Goten gave a swift 'whoopee' and jumped to leave the room. "Say goodbye to Bulma-san, first," he added.

"Bye Mrs. Bulma laaaadyyyyy!" Goten's voice faded as he was already long gone down the hallway and off to explore Capsule Corp., and find Trunks if he could.

"Okay, Bulma," Gohan said, smiling tightly. "What did you want to talk about?"

-------oooo000oooo-------

"It must have been so hard for you," Bulma said softly, not really looking at him. They had sat down, and she had gotten them both drinks after cleaning herself up a bit. Meaning, the oil above her lip was gone, her hair was brushed, and she was out of the overalls. "I mean, he looks exactly like Gokuu."

"It's actually a great comfort," Gohan said mildly, frowning slightly. Was she trying to insinuate that he might possibly resent Goten? "The perfect reminder.for everything." It was a rhetorical thought, and, had Bulma been paying very close attention, she would have wondered at it. But as it was, she had other things to think about.

"I doubt Vejiita's going to be very happy," Bulma said. "Though he thought they might end up identical. Second sons looking like their fathers..He said it runs in your family."

"It's hardly any of our concern that *Vejiita* wouldn't be pleased with how Goten looks," Gohan said tensely. "Why would that affect us?"

"I'm not saying that it should," Bulma sighed. "I'm just kind of mumbling to myself." She still looked kind of shell-shocked. "It's not important."

"No, it's not," Gohan agreed.

"So," she began, shifting on the couch a bit. "How come you haven't been to see us? Why haven't you ever gone to see *any* of the old guys lately?"

"I have," Gohan said, somewhat defensively. "I saw Kuririn and his family over on the island only a while ago."

"Kuririn says it was two years ago. Goten probably doesn't even remember. He was what? Four?"

"Of course he remembers. I got kidnapped by Raddittsu when I was four, and I certainly remember *that*," Gohan said testily. "And so we're kind of reclusive. What's the problem? We didn't get out much even when Dad and Mom were alive, so don't blame it on that."

Bulma raised her eyebrows a little. "Gohan," she said gently, "I didn't suggest that Gokuu and Chichi had anything to do with it." The teen looked trapped. "Are you isolating yourself because of what happened? You don't blame yourself for any of it, do you?"

"It doesn't matter," Gohan said, looking down. "We just all have our own lives now, and I know you guys here are raising Trunks, and Kuririn and Juuhachi's kid should be three years old now. Yamucha went back into baseball, didn't he? We've all been busy."

While gesticulating, Gohan accidentally knocked over his glass of orange soda, spilling it on the white carpet, but fortunately, it didn't break. Bulma winced and muttered, "That is *so* gonna stain." Gohan looked at her, grimacing.

"I'm sorry about that Bulma," Gohan apologized automatically, then bent over to pick it up. Bulma waved her hand at him, though, to tell him to forget about it.

"The cleanup robots will get it," she explained briefly. She didn't care about the carpet at this point. Bulma wanted to focus back in on their conversation.

"You guys were always busy with saving the world before, and that didn't stop us from getting together regularly," she pointed out. "I think that because Chichi isn't here to make you, you've decided to break off contact with us. Isn't that it?"

Choosing to ignore her last two statements, Gohan countered her first. "The whole *reason* we always got together before was *because* we were saving the world. You and Dad knew each other, everyone else were fighters, so it was most beneficial to train together, or gather at Capsule Corp." He wouldn't meet her eyes.

"There was always somebody out to destroy the world one way or the other," //Is that bitterness in his words?// Bulma wondered. "So we never had the chance to drift apart and go our separate ways."

"Drifting apart from your friends isn't a good thing," Bulma argued. "That's why friends go out of their way to keep in touch, even when they don't live close. It's not like you can't make it anywhere around the world in a few minutes, y'know."

Gohan looked like he was about to interrupt, so she plowed ahead.

"What you're saying, is that if a bunch of kids were in school and had continuous projects together, that would force them to spend time together. Then, when these kids didn't have to work together anymore, they cut off all communication, and built up a wall around themselves. We're not like that. We're friends, and friends stay friends even outside of school, Gohan. Or wherever they are."

Gohan didn't say anything, but the words she was saying hit uncomfortably close to home.

"The whole world is out there, Gohan, all those people, opportunities. Don't you think it would be good for you to get out and face the real world, anyway? Good for Goten?" Bulma coaxed. It was the absolute worst thing she could have possibly said at that time.

Gohan's head came up and his eyes flashed. "The real world?" he echoed, his voice dangerously soft. "That's what Mom always said. She always told my dad that fighting skills wouldn't help me in the 'real world'. She said what would make me go the distance in the 'real world' was education, so I could get a good job. She wouldn't let my dad train me at the most important times.

"Tell me, Bulma, how does education, or the importance of the 'real world' measure up when I'm watching my friends and father lying in the dirt, bloody, broken, dying? How can you justify giving the 'real world' any kind of status when, if you had ignored the 'real world', you might have saved your friends so much pain, and saved your father's life?

"The 'real world' isn't half of what I've seen in my life. I've never been part of it, and those who have can't acknowledge what truly *is* real. Don't you remember at the Cell Games? They mocked my father and all of us, when we were fighting for them. What we *did* was real, and the 'real world' is still in the dark. Don't preach to me about the real world, Bulma. That's not real."

Bulma was quiet for a few minutes, then started again. "People may not understand, Gohan, but that's because they haven't had a chance to. I've been part of the real world, and I've *married* and alien; something that most people don't believe exists. You have to give it a chance. Just because you've been misjudged once doesn't mean that you have to isolate yourself for the rest of your life."

"What did you call me over here for, Bulma?" Gohan said wearily. He rubbed his temples impatiently.

But Bulma wasn't ready to talk about that yet. "You've changed so much already," Bulma insisted. "You have to interact with other people, otherwise you'll never be able to forgive yourself, and move on."

Gohan didn't say anything. Then all of a sudden he smiled, forcing it slightly. "This isn't like what I know of you, either," he said, masking his sarcasm with ruefulness. "You're being much too serious, you haven't ranted or cursed once, and you're being mildly patient. What's up?"

Bulma smiled impishly. "Don't be rude," she chided. "I *never* curse." Seeing the look on Gohan's face, she relented.

"I had to buckle down at least once, so I could get some of this through your thick head. This is serious stuff, though. I wrote down everything I wanted to say, then I lost that, so I had to do it again. Would you believe I *rehearsed* this?"

"I would," Gohan said grimly. "I thought it sounded *awfully* well laid out for *you*. Had to do it all in advance, did you?"

"Son Gohan!" Bulma yelped indignantly. "You take that back! *I* am a genius! *You* are a bloodthirsty saiyajin barbarian, with nothing other than fighting on his mind! You couldn't make a well planned argument to save your life!"

"I thought I just did," he retorted, settling back into his seat. //Maybe if I keep her off topic, she won't mention.that.again. Add some humor, I suppose.// "I happen to be a bit of a genius, myself!"

"Saiyajin!" Bulma said, throwing up her hands in mock-disgust. "They're all the same! Arrogant as hell, except for Gokuu, of course. And Goten, by the looks of it."

There was a faint yelling sound coming from somewhere in the complex, and they both turned to stare strangely out into the hallway. It subsided, though, and neither of them thought any more about it.

Gohan asked curiously, "How has been like living with Vejiita? And how has Trunks been growing up? I admit I've felt kind of bad not having seen him in so long."

"Sure, you miss someone you last saw as an infant more than you missed me," Bulma grumbled, then got back on track. "Well, Vejiita spends most of his time training, as usual. He trains Trunks, too. He's always going on about how his son should be the strongest, and how Trunks is going to beat you."

"That's nice," Gohan said dryly.

"And to make it worse, Trunks absolutely *idolizes* him!" Bulma rolled her eyes. "I can't get him near the lab to save my life, but he'll just shut himself up with Vejiita all day voluntarily!"

"Hnn. Goten trains and studies, as do I," Gohan said.

//Perfect opening!// Bulma thought sneakily. //Now, put it gently, put it gently, Bulma.//

"That reminds me," she said casually. "Have you ever thought about going to high school, Gohan?" //Bwahahaha, that was genius, Bulma, sheer genius! Perfect, precise timing, phrasing.Gad, I am so brilliant.//

Gohan's eyes bugged out at the abrupt change of subject. He didn't like where this was heading. "High school?" he spluttered involuntarily.

"Well, yes," Bulma said defensively. "I didn't think it was such a repulsive idea."

"But, Bulma." Gohan said weakly, trying to regain his composure. "High school? After going to the far end of the galaxy and saving the universe -and Earth- who knows how many times? Wouldn't that be kind of.awkward?"

"You're breaking the law by not going to school, you know," Bulma pointed out. "You're seventeen legally, even if you really are eighteen." Gohan just looked amused at this thought, so she tried harder. "You're not even doing home schooling anymore! Just because you've saved the world a few times doesn't give you the right to do whatever you please!"

Now, this irked Gohan some. "Hey, that Satan idiot does whatever he wants, and he didn't even *really* save the world! That was *me*!"

"That's different," Bulma said delicately, tacitly avoiding just saying *how* it was different. Gohan raised an eyebrow at that.

"It'd cut into my training," he said darkly, as though this were something inexcusable. He didn't want to make Bulma mad by dismissing her suggestion, but he just *couldn't* let anything interfere with his training, even if it was extra schooling.

"Training for what?" Bulma asked, exasperated. "There hasn't been a threat to Earth in seven years! You think you could cut back just a *little*."

"If I'm not ready for any kind of menace, who else is going to be?" Gohan pointed out. "Mr. Satan?"

Bulma shuddered slightly at the thought, then retaliated, her voice raising slightly. "You *aren't* the only fighter, you know. I wouldn't be surprised if Vejiita could give you a run for your money." Gohan snorted.

//How do you know if he would be willing to risk his life to save the Earth?// Gohan felt like asking, but thought that it would be going to far.

"Even so, I have to be prepared if there's ever another threat like Cell! I have to be strong enough to protect everyone on this planet, and my friends! I can't let anyone of them get killed! *All* of them have been wished back once already, don't you see? That would be the end!"

"Your father's gone, Gohan!!" Bulma yelled suddenly.

He reeled back as if she'd slapped him.

A pleading look entered her eyes. "You can't keep blaming yourself for his death! You don't have to protect your friends, they can take care of themselves. Cell is gone, too. Don't let him haunt your life!"

Gohan's eyes became hooded as a darkness passed over them. He seemed to be seeing beyond Bulma at the moment, then he snapped back to Earth. "What do you know?! You didn't cause your father to sacrifice his life due to your arrogance! You didn't kill your mother with grief by letting her husband die!" Looking stricken at finally having spoken the words, Gohan buried his head in his hands.

Bulma wrung her hands, wanting to comfort him, but knowing that he wouldn't want her to. After a moment, Gohan lifted his head again, and the shadow had left his face. He was nodding, slowly. Nodding at the fact that he had to forgive himself, somehow, and move on, but also nodding in acquiescence to the high school suggestion. If interacting with other people was what it took to stop blaming himself, he was willing to do so.

"But who would watch Goten?" he wanted to know as a final concern.

"Oh, we wouldn't mind having him here!" Bulma said cautiously.

"Yeah, and Vejiita would be happy to have another *punching* bag," Gohan said doubtfully.

"Oh, come on, I doubt Vejiita trains Trunks any harder than you do Goten," Bulma said cajolingly. "I'd love to get to know the little guy, and I *know* that it would be great for Trunks to have another super powered kid his age around." She shook her head sadly. "You couldn't imagine how many playmates he's sent home with some kind of injury- He plays too rough. He hasn't had anyone over in ages. Goten would be perfect though, they couldn't possibly hurt each other."

"That could work," Gohan said reluctantly. "I don't know, though."

//Just one more push, and Gohan will officially have to face the life of a teenager. He'll have to go out into the world now, he has to sometime. He'll be living the rest of his life there, naturally. Go easy though, he's fragile. Just give it a little nudge-// "What, afraid that you're not smart enough?" Bulma taunted carefully.

Gohan's head snapped up and he stared at her, narrowing his eyes. "Of course not!" he said loudly, his eyes mere slits. "I could do college calculus when I was ten years old! I could wipe the floor with any of the morons that go to high school!"

//Hehehe. I know you could, Gohan.// Bulma thought, well pleased with her own cleverness. //One thing you learn from living with saiyajin your whole life.You want them to do something, you tweak their pride.//

"Prove it," she said smugly, knowing he wouldn't be able to resist the challenge.

Gohan's eye twitched, a sure sign he was tempted, but his mouth stubbornly remained closed. Then, seemingly not of his own volition, he blurted, "You're on!"

-------oooo000oooo-------

"So you'll go! So you'll go!" Bulma was still chanting five minutes later, more of a statement than a question. She sounded entirely too eager about the whole thing.

"All right," Gohan said, resigned. "Where do I get the registra-."

"YESSSS!" Bulma cheered, totally drowning him out. She whipped a few sheets of paper out of her back pocket, took a pen from behind her ear, and laid both in front of Gohan. "Sign here, and here," she said, matter-of- factly.

//She must have been planning this for a while.// Gohan thought, looking at the papers warily. It was a form for Orange Star High, and Gohan was not-so-pleasantly surprised. //I'm going to be at school with those psychos from .what was it.McDonald's? Great, just great.All I can do is hope that they're not in my grade.//

"I've already got the rest of it filled out!" Bulma said happily. Gohan signed his name slowly in the aforesaid places.

"So will it be a few weeks before you can turn this in, and a few weeks before they confirm everything?" Gohan asked hopefully. //I really need time to adjust to this idea.HIGH SCHOOL!.//

"I can turn it in tonight, I warned them to be expecting it, and you can be in school on Monday!" Bulma giggled excitedly.

//Dear Kami, what have I gotten myself into?// Gohan panicked.
-------oooo000oooo-------
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ RaliNeoBlade: I'm sorry that I skipped over so many years, but I didn't go *straight* to the high school years, right? I do, however, hope that this provided some of the character development you were looking for. Thanks for reading! Review!