Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or any related material.
Author's Note: This chapter's a little shorter than the previous ones because I had to split it in half or it would be insanely long. But that means that I've already got most of Chapter 8 done!
Just a note: This concerns the people that asked to be paired with characters in the fic. I've just been ignoring you guys, I'm sowwy! Well um...I don't think I can do that because then I'd have to put everyone in who asked, as yamachan*is my*man pointed out. Sorry about that and I hope you keep reading!
Chapter Seven: Showering Can Be Fun!
Mai: "Phew! I smell like wine. Kaiba, where's your shower?"
Kaiba: "Which one? Last time I checked, I think I had 23 bathrooms."
Mai: *sniffs*
"In that case, I suggest we all take showers...'cause we need them!"
Kaiba: "Okay everyone, follow me, and I will personally escort you to a bathroom. I guarantee it'll be the most fulfilling personal hygienic experience you'll ever have!"
*strides off down the hall*
*strange looks all around....but they follow him anyway*
*as they're following him*
Joey: *quietly*
"Hey Yug, why's Kaiba bein' so nice all of a sudden?"
Yugi: "*cough*mood swings *cough*"
Kaiba: *whirls around and gets into Yugi's face*
*face contorted in anger*
"I DO NOT HAVE MOOD SWINGS, YOU -"
*face turns normal and pats Yugi on the head*
"- nice little kid -"
*face gets messed up again*
"I JUST -"
*normal*
"- love you guys so much!"
Everyone: O_o
Kaiba: *leads them to a another hallway with rooms branching off on either side*
"And this - "
*gestures grandly*
"-is the Kaiba Mansion Showering Suite. Girls on the right, guys on the left."
The group split up to go into their individual showers, but some people evidently had different ideas on what "individual" meant. (Warning: this gets a little complicated, and remember: girls - right, guys - left)
Ryou: *walks into the first door on the left*
Yugi: *walks into the second door on left*
Tea: *walks into the first door on the right*
Mai: *walks into third door on right*
Joey: *follows Mai*
Serenity: *walks into the second door on right*
Yami: *follows Serenity*
Tristan: *follows Yami*
Kaiba: *standing in middle of hallway*
"Ahem."
Joey: *guiltily walks into third door on left*
Yami: *guiltily walks into fourth door on left*
Tristan: *guiltily walks into fourth door on right*
Kaiba: "AHEM."
Tristan: *quickly walks into fourth door on left*
Kaiba: *alone in hallway*
*taps foot and looks at watch*
Tristan: *gets kicked out and walks into fifth door on left*
Kaiba: 'Finally!'
*looks around furtively*
*runs to own bathroom*
'Hehehe...'
*presses a secret button in the cabinet*
*secret room appears with a control panel with a series of buttons labeled 'Water Control for Kaiba Mansion Showering Suite'*
Kaiba: "Now let's see...who do I hate?"
*pause*
"Oh that's right, everybody!"
*pause*
"Yes...but who do I hate the most?"
"Yugi, for beating me? No wait, that'd be Yami. Or maybe it's Joey, that dumb chihuahua?"
"So many choices! Ah, I'll just do it randomly."
*presses a random button*
*speaker crackles and...*
Joey: *singing in a horrible, off-key voice*
"Disappear... outta here..."
Kaiba: O_O;;
Joey: *in same screechy voice*
"It was time to pay my dues..."
Kaiba: 'Hey, this is actually kind of catchy."
Joey: "Never guessed...that you 'd be dressed...in my clothes and in my shoes!"
*starts doing a bad imitation of electric guitar*
Kaiba: O_o;;
"Oookay, scratch that. Now let's see...what type of special treatment will the star singer get?!
*evil laugh*
*presses button labeled: He [Helium]*
*sits back in his chair and waits*
*speaker crackles*
Joey: *still singing in scratchy, off-key voice*
"You couldn't wait to move right in...if I were you i'd be concerned..."
Kaiba: *hears air fwishing*
Joey: "Ain't no way you're gonna win..."
*voice gets steadily higher*
"Gonna catch it - on account - of my return - hey, what's going on?"
*voice is a squeak by now*
Kaiba: *doubled over laughing*
*gasping for air*
"Okay, *gasp* nest victim - *gasp* BWAHAHA!"
*presses another random button*
*speaker crackles*
Yami: *crooning to self*
"Oh yeah, who's the man, oh yeah, baby, who's got the hair..."
Kaiba: *gags*
'Okay, you're just asking for it, Mr. King of Games.'
*flips a switch to reveal a knob labeled Humidity Control*
*turns knob from 'Normal' setting to 'Tropical'*
*sits back in chair and drums fingers on arm rest*
Yami: "AAAAAH!! NOOOO - "
*birds-eye view of Kaiba's Mansion*
"NOOOOOO - "
*view of entire Domino City*
"NOOOOOO - "
*view of Earth from outer space*
"NOOOOOOOO!!!"
*view of Kaiba*
Kaiba: *pounding on floor with tears running down his face*
"HA! HA! HA! Ow...stomach cramps..."
*hears a door open*
Joey had stepped out into the hallway to see if he could figure out why helium was pouring into his shower. Even though he was in the hallway, Kaiba could hear him perfectly clearly. After all, high voices carry.
Joey: *squeaking*
"What's going on?! Why's my voice like this? And why am I talking to myself?"
Kaiba: *panicking that he'll get caught*
'Gotta close this up...there. And now, I need an alibi...'
Ten minutes later...
Everyone congregated in the hallway, except for Kaiba, who was still showering to cover up for his evil deeds. Most people were looking normal and much cleaner, except for Yami, who was wearing a rather large baseball cap. Joey was keeping silent.
Serenity: "Why are you wearing that hat, Yami?"
Yami: *sulkily*
"I don't want to talk about it."
Mai: "Oh come on, let us see. It's probably not that bad."
Yami: "No!"
*not noticing Yugi sneaking behind him*
Yugi: *pulls hat off...*
*and Yami's hair explodes outward, the force knocking Yugi over*
But everyone was on the ground too, for another reason: they were laughing too hard to stand up. Yami was vainly trying to cover up his out-of-control hair, but it wouldn't fit under the hat again. At that moment, they all realized that Kaiba was missing from their group.
Everyone: "KAIBA!!"
Kaiba: *comes running out of his room dripping wet and in only a towel (^____^)*
"What?!"
Yami: "YOU DID IT!! IT WAS YOU!"
Kaiba: *trying to look innocent*
"Who, me?"
Joey: *bursts out squeaking*
"Yeah! You made my voice all high and - um -"
Everyone (except Joey and Kaiba): O_o
Tea: "What happened to your voice?!"
Joey: *clamps mouth shut and shakes his fist furiously at Kaiba*
Kaiba: *still trying to look innocent*
"I couldn't have done it! I was showering the whole time! I even left the water on!"
Yami: "I don't hear any running water, you liar!"
Kaiba: "What? Of course you do!"
*secretly presses button on a hidden remote control*
Everyone instantly heard running water, or what they thought was running water. It was actually a recording Kaiba had made a while ago, just for a situation like this. (What a sneaky guy).
Recording: *water running*
Kaiba: *wide grin*
"Seeeee?"
Everyone: *grumbling*
"Guess he's right..."
But wait!
Recording: *static crackles*
Everyone: "Huh?"
*listens more carefully*
Recording: "Hi, this is Mokuba Kaiba, reporting live from the Kaiba Mansion bathroom. For my fifth grade school project, I'm studying -"
*click*
Kaiba turned off the "water" and turned around to see six confused and two rabid-looking faces staring at him.
Yami: *quietly and menacingly*
"I think this calls for some cellar time."
Kaiba: O_O
"Nononono! Anything but that! I'll - I'll - duel you!"
Yami: *instant happiness*
"Okay!"
*whips out his cards*
Kaiba: "Who said anything about cards?"
*whips out a fencing sword*
"En guarde! En guarde!"
*advances toward Yami wielding sword*
However, Yami was just standing there calmly with his arms crossed.
Yami: "You know, I could send you to the Shadow Realm right now."
Kaiba: *stops in mid-swing*
"En - Oh. Right. Hehe, sorry."
Yami: *flies into a rage*
"SORRY'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I'm sending you to the Shadow Realm anyway!"
*thrusts palm at Kaiba while yelling at the top of his lungs*
"BRAIN CRUSH!"
Kaiba: *blinks*
"I'm still here."
Yami: "Huh? Okay, let's try it again. BRAIN CRUSH!"
*nothing happens*
"BRAIN SMASH!"
*nothing*
"BRAIN POUND?"
*nothing*
"Uh...HEAD CRUSH?"
Kaiba: *still standing there*
Yami: "Head mash? No...DAMMIT! What are the words?!"
Kaiba: "I'll be right back."
*leaves*
Yami: *sitting down crosslegged with finger tapping head*
"Head squash? No..."
Kaiba: *comes back with two bottles*
"Luckily for you, I happen to have some de-volumizer."
*tosses one to Yami*
"And luckily for you, I have some voice deepener."
*tosses other to Joey*
A few minutes later, they were all fixed up and pretty much back to normal.
Ryou: "So what are we doing now? Can we go home yet?"
Kaiba: "No, because Pegasus is still in my cellar."
Tea: "I don't want to think about him."
Yugi: "Okay then, what're we really doing next?"
Author's Note: What are they doing next? Oh wait, I'm supposed to answer that question. And the answer will be in the next chapter - and their next activity will make the title of this crazy fic more appropriate.
But for now, I'd like to thank my reviewers! Alyia, Fayra AKA Crazy Girl, Lover of Kaiba, YamiAnzu, Sunfalling, Tasha, Ranma Higurashi, i lovew bakura (I suspect it's: i love bakura), yamachan*is my*man, (stellamilnes@aol.com) and Kiki Jones! Muchas gracias for taking the time to review! Now if you could just do it again...^_~
Author's Note: This chapter's a little shorter than the previous ones because I had to split it in half or it would be insanely long. But that means that I've already got most of Chapter 8 done!
Just a note: This concerns the people that asked to be paired with characters in the fic. I've just been ignoring you guys, I'm sowwy! Well um...I don't think I can do that because then I'd have to put everyone in who asked, as yamachan*is my*man pointed out. Sorry about that and I hope you keep reading!
Chapter Seven: Showering Can Be Fun!
Mai: "Phew! I smell like wine. Kaiba, where's your shower?"
Kaiba: "Which one? Last time I checked, I think I had 23 bathrooms."
Mai: *sniffs*
"In that case, I suggest we all take showers...'cause we need them!"
Kaiba: "Okay everyone, follow me, and I will personally escort you to a bathroom. I guarantee it'll be the most fulfilling personal hygienic experience you'll ever have!"
*strides off down the hall*
*strange looks all around....but they follow him anyway*
*as they're following him*
Joey: *quietly*
"Hey Yug, why's Kaiba bein' so nice all of a sudden?"
Yugi: "*cough*mood swings *cough*"
Kaiba: *whirls around and gets into Yugi's face*
*face contorted in anger*
"I DO NOT HAVE MOOD SWINGS, YOU -"
*face turns normal and pats Yugi on the head*
"- nice little kid -"
*face gets messed up again*
"I JUST -"
*normal*
"- love you guys so much!"
Everyone: O_o
Kaiba: *leads them to a another hallway with rooms branching off on either side*
"And this - "
*gestures grandly*
"-is the Kaiba Mansion Showering Suite. Girls on the right, guys on the left."
The group split up to go into their individual showers, but some people evidently had different ideas on what "individual" meant. (Warning: this gets a little complicated, and remember: girls - right, guys - left)
Ryou: *walks into the first door on the left*
Yugi: *walks into the second door on left*
Tea: *walks into the first door on the right*
Mai: *walks into third door on right*
Joey: *follows Mai*
Serenity: *walks into the second door on right*
Yami: *follows Serenity*
Tristan: *follows Yami*
Kaiba: *standing in middle of hallway*
"Ahem."
Joey: *guiltily walks into third door on left*
Yami: *guiltily walks into fourth door on left*
Tristan: *guiltily walks into fourth door on right*
Kaiba: "AHEM."
Tristan: *quickly walks into fourth door on left*
Kaiba: *alone in hallway*
*taps foot and looks at watch*
Tristan: *gets kicked out and walks into fifth door on left*
Kaiba: 'Finally!'
*looks around furtively*
*runs to own bathroom*
'Hehehe...'
*presses a secret button in the cabinet*
*secret room appears with a control panel with a series of buttons labeled 'Water Control for Kaiba Mansion Showering Suite'*
Kaiba: "Now let's see...who do I hate?"
*pause*
"Oh that's right, everybody!"
*pause*
"Yes...but who do I hate the most?"
"Yugi, for beating me? No wait, that'd be Yami. Or maybe it's Joey, that dumb chihuahua?"
"So many choices! Ah, I'll just do it randomly."
*presses a random button*
*speaker crackles and...*
Joey: *singing in a horrible, off-key voice*
"Disappear... outta here..."
Kaiba: O_O;;
Joey: *in same screechy voice*
"It was time to pay my dues..."
Kaiba: 'Hey, this is actually kind of catchy."
Joey: "Never guessed...that you 'd be dressed...in my clothes and in my shoes!"
*starts doing a bad imitation of electric guitar*
Kaiba: O_o;;
"Oookay, scratch that. Now let's see...what type of special treatment will the star singer get?!
*evil laugh*
*presses button labeled: He [Helium]*
*sits back in his chair and waits*
*speaker crackles*
Joey: *still singing in scratchy, off-key voice*
"You couldn't wait to move right in...if I were you i'd be concerned..."
Kaiba: *hears air fwishing*
Joey: "Ain't no way you're gonna win..."
*voice gets steadily higher*
"Gonna catch it - on account - of my return - hey, what's going on?"
*voice is a squeak by now*
Kaiba: *doubled over laughing*
*gasping for air*
"Okay, *gasp* nest victim - *gasp* BWAHAHA!"
*presses another random button*
*speaker crackles*
Yami: *crooning to self*
"Oh yeah, who's the man, oh yeah, baby, who's got the hair..."
Kaiba: *gags*
'Okay, you're just asking for it, Mr. King of Games.'
*flips a switch to reveal a knob labeled Humidity Control*
*turns knob from 'Normal' setting to 'Tropical'*
*sits back in chair and drums fingers on arm rest*
Yami: "AAAAAH!! NOOOO - "
*birds-eye view of Kaiba's Mansion*
"NOOOOOO - "
*view of entire Domino City*
"NOOOOOO - "
*view of Earth from outer space*
"NOOOOOOOO!!!"
*view of Kaiba*
Kaiba: *pounding on floor with tears running down his face*
"HA! HA! HA! Ow...stomach cramps..."
*hears a door open*
Joey had stepped out into the hallway to see if he could figure out why helium was pouring into his shower. Even though he was in the hallway, Kaiba could hear him perfectly clearly. After all, high voices carry.
Joey: *squeaking*
"What's going on?! Why's my voice like this? And why am I talking to myself?"
Kaiba: *panicking that he'll get caught*
'Gotta close this up...there. And now, I need an alibi...'
Ten minutes later...
Everyone congregated in the hallway, except for Kaiba, who was still showering to cover up for his evil deeds. Most people were looking normal and much cleaner, except for Yami, who was wearing a rather large baseball cap. Joey was keeping silent.
Serenity: "Why are you wearing that hat, Yami?"
Yami: *sulkily*
"I don't want to talk about it."
Mai: "Oh come on, let us see. It's probably not that bad."
Yami: "No!"
*not noticing Yugi sneaking behind him*
Yugi: *pulls hat off...*
*and Yami's hair explodes outward, the force knocking Yugi over*
But everyone was on the ground too, for another reason: they were laughing too hard to stand up. Yami was vainly trying to cover up his out-of-control hair, but it wouldn't fit under the hat again. At that moment, they all realized that Kaiba was missing from their group.
Everyone: "KAIBA!!"
Kaiba: *comes running out of his room dripping wet and in only a towel (^____^)*
"What?!"
Yami: "YOU DID IT!! IT WAS YOU!"
Kaiba: *trying to look innocent*
"Who, me?"
Joey: *bursts out squeaking*
"Yeah! You made my voice all high and - um -"
Everyone (except Joey and Kaiba): O_o
Tea: "What happened to your voice?!"
Joey: *clamps mouth shut and shakes his fist furiously at Kaiba*
Kaiba: *still trying to look innocent*
"I couldn't have done it! I was showering the whole time! I even left the water on!"
Yami: "I don't hear any running water, you liar!"
Kaiba: "What? Of course you do!"
*secretly presses button on a hidden remote control*
Everyone instantly heard running water, or what they thought was running water. It was actually a recording Kaiba had made a while ago, just for a situation like this. (What a sneaky guy).
Recording: *water running*
Kaiba: *wide grin*
"Seeeee?"
Everyone: *grumbling*
"Guess he's right..."
But wait!
Recording: *static crackles*
Everyone: "Huh?"
*listens more carefully*
Recording: "Hi, this is Mokuba Kaiba, reporting live from the Kaiba Mansion bathroom. For my fifth grade school project, I'm studying -"
*click*
Kaiba turned off the "water" and turned around to see six confused and two rabid-looking faces staring at him.
Yami: *quietly and menacingly*
"I think this calls for some cellar time."
Kaiba: O_O
"Nononono! Anything but that! I'll - I'll - duel you!"
Yami: *instant happiness*
"Okay!"
*whips out his cards*
Kaiba: "Who said anything about cards?"
*whips out a fencing sword*
"En guarde! En guarde!"
*advances toward Yami wielding sword*
However, Yami was just standing there calmly with his arms crossed.
Yami: "You know, I could send you to the Shadow Realm right now."
Kaiba: *stops in mid-swing*
"En - Oh. Right. Hehe, sorry."
Yami: *flies into a rage*
"SORRY'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! I'm sending you to the Shadow Realm anyway!"
*thrusts palm at Kaiba while yelling at the top of his lungs*
"BRAIN CRUSH!"
Kaiba: *blinks*
"I'm still here."
Yami: "Huh? Okay, let's try it again. BRAIN CRUSH!"
*nothing happens*
"BRAIN SMASH!"
*nothing*
"BRAIN POUND?"
*nothing*
"Uh...HEAD CRUSH?"
Kaiba: *still standing there*
Yami: "Head mash? No...DAMMIT! What are the words?!"
Kaiba: "I'll be right back."
*leaves*
Yami: *sitting down crosslegged with finger tapping head*
"Head squash? No..."
Kaiba: *comes back with two bottles*
"Luckily for you, I happen to have some de-volumizer."
*tosses one to Yami*
"And luckily for you, I have some voice deepener."
*tosses other to Joey*
A few minutes later, they were all fixed up and pretty much back to normal.
Ryou: "So what are we doing now? Can we go home yet?"
Kaiba: "No, because Pegasus is still in my cellar."
Tea: "I don't want to think about him."
Yugi: "Okay then, what're we really doing next?"
Author's Note: What are they doing next? Oh wait, I'm supposed to answer that question. And the answer will be in the next chapter - and their next activity will make the title of this crazy fic more appropriate.
But for now, I'd like to thank my reviewers! Alyia, Fayra AKA Crazy Girl, Lover of Kaiba, YamiAnzu, Sunfalling, Tasha, Ranma Higurashi, i lovew bakura (I suspect it's: i love bakura), yamachan*is my*man, (stellamilnes@aol.com) and Kiki Jones! Muchas gracias for taking the time to review! Now if you could just do it again...^_~
