Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh or any related material, UPS, Oompa Loompas or their related material, Hot Wheels, Sesame Street, and last and least, I don't own Captain Underpants...stuff.

Author's Note: AIYAAAAA!! Sorry sorry sorry!! I know it's been sooo long since I last updated, (like a few months -_-;;;;;;) so here's an extra super long (and hopefully, super funny) chapter to make up for it! *cowers*

Congrats to all those who guessed at the mystery person in the reviews for the last chapter - Kiki Jones, Magicman/Smokegirl, and ^_~ (stellamilnes@aol.com)...because you are all RIGHT! *applause*

Important: Words in these slanted lines [/ /] mean that yamis and hikaris are communicating through their mindlinks.

Chapter Nine: Cause Now I'm Back!

Kaiba: *perks up*

"What? Did someone just call me Seto?"

Joey: "No, you're just hearing things."

But Joey's answer came too late; Kaiba was already running to the front door as fast as he could possibly go with that trench coat flapping behind him.

Kaiba: *pounding down the blasted long hall*

*In the Secret and Innermost Thoughts of Seto Kaiba*

'Stupid trench coat...it's slowing me down! If it weren't for the intimidating effect it has on people, I'd burn it!'

'Yeah...a leprechaun tells me to burn things...fire...'

^____^

Person at door: *knocking*

"Seto! Let me in!"

Kaiba: *thinking*

'Could it be...?! It has to be!"

*skids to a stop in front of the door*

"I'm coming!!!"

*unbolts the five locks and reaches for the doorknob*

*BZZZT*

"OW! DAMN SECURITY SYSTEM!"

Computer: "Please state password."

Kaiba: "Password."

Computer: "That's not funny."

Kaiba: O_o

'Did the computer just say...'

Computer: "Please state password."

Kaiba: *looks around furtively*

"Blueeyeswhitedragon."

Computer: "Password not received. Please state password CLEARLY."

Kaiba: 'Is it just me, or is that computer mocking me?'

Computer: "No, it's just my deep-rooted resentment against that ridiculous trench coat of yours. Password, please?"

Kaiba: O_o

"Um..."

*screws up face, takes a big breath, and gets ready to yell at the top of his lungs*

"BL-"

Cutting Kaiba off, a voice coming from behind finished the password for him.

"Blue. Eyes. White. Dragon."

With eyes bugging out in surprise (and lack of oxygen), Kaiba whirled around to see...

...Bakura standing there calmly with a smirk on his face.

Kaiba: "Wha - I - You -"

'I STILL can't figure out HOW he knows that password!'

Bakura: *points to door*

Kaiba: *whirls around again*

"Hey, who's there? Is that the deliv - OOF!"

Just then, he got the wind knocked out of him by a certain short, black haired figure who ran right into his stomach. (A/N: Hehe...where have we seen THAT before? ^_~)

Mokuba: "SETOOO!! I'm back!"

*promptly attaches himself to his older brother's leg*

Seto: *looks down*

"Oh. It's you, Mokuba."

*sticks his head out of the door*

"Is there anyone out there? Say...any delivery people?"

*doesn't see anyone else*

*disappointed*

"Dam - uhhh - darn it! I thought it was the UPS guy with my shipment of Blue Eyes merchandise!"

Bakura: "What about Mokuba?"

Kaiba: "Well...I love Mokuba, but I just love my Blue Eyes mor - oops. Uh, hi there, Mokuba! Mokuba?"

Without being noticed, Mokuba had managed to detach himself from Kaiba's leg and run off somewhere. Good thing too, or he might have taken a cue from Yugi and gone into Tantrum Mode and Kaiba would have gotten punished at the hands of someone half his size....again.

Bakura: *smirk grows wider*

"So, you can't operate your own security system, and now you can't keep track of your own brother? Tsk, tsk, tsk...Sounds like blackmail material to me!"

Kaiba: *smirks back*

"Oh? Have you forgotten that this is MY house and you've lost a certain ITEM in the cellar? I can personally ensure that you'll never see the Eye again!"

Bakura: *sweatdrop*

Kaiba: "That's what I thought. No one, and I mean NO ONE blackmails Seto Kaiba!"

Postman: *randomly pops in*

"Hi, Mr. Kaiba. I recieved your threatening letter and I assure you, I won't be taking a dump in your garden again."

Kaiba: "Thanks, Bill. I appreciate it. How are the kids?"

Postman: "Oh, they're fine...except Bill Jr. He got hit by that brick you sent through the window."

Kaiba: "Oh, sorry about that. How is he now?"

Postman: "Eh, he'll live. By the way, I have some blackmail for you."

Kaiba: "What?!"

Bakura: *smirk*

Kaiba: "Oh, you mean it's put in a black envelope!"

Postman: "Nope, it's real blackmail. That's what Mr. Keith said it was - oops, he told me not to say that. Oops, he told me not to say that either! Whoops, I shouldn't have -"

*door closes in his face*

Kaiba: *reading letter*

Letter:

Yo, K -man -

I demand 50 billion in unmarked ones by tomorrow. You WILL comply because I KNOW you cheated in that Duel Monsters Tournament! I even know EXACTLY how you did it...Lucky 7 cards! Don't deny it! Oh wait. That's me. Hehe, sorry to bother you, and I would appreciate it if you didn't mention this again. By the way, do you happen to have Weevil's address? I need to blackmail him about a kidnapping charge - oh. That was me, too, wasn't it? Uh....please don't mention that again either.

Your friend,

Bandit Keith :-)

PS: Waaait a minute...didn't you try to shoot Pegasus...no? Me again? Darn it to heck, must be that new medicine I'm taking.

Kaiba: O_o

*tosses in trash*

"Oookay...that WASN'T blackmail. So as I said before, no one blackmails Seto Kaiba!!"

*throws head back and does a crazy maniac laugh*

"MWAHAHAHAHA!"

*calmly*

"Now, I think it's time that we joined the others."

Bakura: "...Okie."

'Man, this guy's a psycho...'

When they had rejoined the others in the room, they found Mokuba sitting with everyone in a semicircle facing him.

Mokuba: "Hey guys, you know why it took me so long getting here?"

Everyone in chorus: *enthusiastically corny*

"Why?!"

Mokuba: "Well, it's a funny story."

Everyone: "How funny?!"

Mokuba: "This funny!"

*spreads out arms as wide as he can, smacking Seto in the stomach in the process*

Kaiba: "Uunh! Mokuba!"

'Grr...Anyone can see why I love my Blue Eyes mo - no! Must not - think - bad thoughts! Pegasus - influence - getting - too strong!'

Mokuba: "Anyway, my friend's mom was bringing me home, and it was pretty normal until we were almost to the gate. Then, we kinda spun out of control and crashed into a tree. It was the big one on the corner of the street. Kinda damaged her car a little."

Kaiba: *gasp*

*falls to knees*

"NOOOOO!!! Not the TREE!!"

*notices stares and stands up quickly*

"Well, uh, the main thing is that you're alright, Mokuba."

Mokuba: *brightly*

"Yeah, I know! But it was weird. She was yelling something about someone 'mooning' us. What's mooning, Seto?"

Everyone: *sweatdrop*

Kaiba and Joey: *SWEATDROP*

Kaiba: "How about I tell you later, kiddo?"

*trying to be casual about it*

"So, uh, did you SEE anything that you think might have caused the uh, accident?"

Mokuba: "Hmm...yeah, I did."

Everyone: *SWEATDROP*

Mokuba: "There was a dead squirrel in the middle of the road. But I still don't understand what that has to do with the moon."

Kaiba: *whew*

"Oh, good. Okay then, let's all -"

Mokuba: *thinking hard*

"Well...I thought I saw something in this window too. What were you guys doing while I was gone? Weren't you supposed to be getting rid of Pegasus?"

(A/N: Congratulations, Mokuba, you just broke the world record for setting off the most sweatdropping and eye-bugging in five seconds!)

Kaiba: *slaps forehead*

"Dam - uh...shoot! I KNEW there was something we were forgetting!"

Ryou: "Is he still in your cellar?"

Kaiba: "Where else could he be?!"

Everyone: *sweatdrop*

Ryou: "Uh...I'd prefer not to think about that."

Kaiba: "Good point, hehe."

Yami: *trying to act brave, probably to impress Serenity*

*unnaturally loud*

"SO! What ARE we WAITING for? LET'S GO!"

*swaggers out of room*

*total silence in room*

Five seconds later:

Everyone: *laughing their as - butts off*

Yami: *swaggering down hallway*

'Hmm...I wonder if they followed me?'

*turns around*

'HEY! There's no one behind me! Just great! I was doing my All Important Royal Swagger that I save for the specialest occasions for nothing! And I think I dislocated a hip...Huh? What's that?'

*hears uproarious laughing*

'GRRR...They'd better not be laughing at me!!"

*stomps back to room*

"What's so funny?!"

Everyone: *turns around and stops mid-giggle*

Yami: 'They were! Arrgh!'

"How many times do I have to say this?! My All Important Royal Swagger is NOTHING TO LAUGH AT!!"

Joey: *snickers*

"Oh look, he even gave it a name!"

Everyone: *can't hold back laughter*

Yami: *turns red*

"Stop it! I'M nothing to laugh at!"

Everyone: *continues to laugh*

Yami: "FINE! I'll show you all! And then you'll be SORRY!"

*sticks up nose and marches out*

Serenity: *stops laughing and looks guilty*

"Uh...wait! Yami!"

*hurries after him*

Yami: 'Yes! I knew Serenity would come after me! Now, SWAGGER, YAMI!'

*starts...uh, swaggering*

Serenity: *comes into hallway*

"Yami, wait! I didn't mean -"

*sees Yami's butt swinging all over the place*

"- Uh - "

*tries to stifle laughter*

"Ha - *cough* *cough* aheh..."

Yami: *whirls around*

"You're laughing too!"

Serenity: "Nonono! No, I'm not! Urk -"

*suddenly has to turn around*

Yami: *suspicious*

Serenity: "Mmrph..arrk..hurk.."

*takes a deep breath and turns back around*

"I told you, I'm not laughing, Yami! Just a um, hairball! Yami?"

Yami: *stomping down hall with steam coming out of ears*

*muttering to self*

"So...they think I'm funny, eh? I'll show them funny...when I get done with funny, they won't be laughing...*mutter mutter*"

Joey: *pokes his head into the hall*

"C'mon, Serenity, we're finishing Truth and Dare and you gotta come back."

Serenity: "Yami's stomped off by himself! How can we let him go wandering around alone while we're safe together, playing a game?"

Joey: "Ah, don't worry 'bout Yami. He prob'ly just needs ta cool off. He can take care of himself a'right...and anyway, Pegasus is still locked in the cellar. Nothin' can get 'im."

Serenity: *doubtfully and still looking down hall*

"...Okay."

Back in the game:

Tea: "Okay Ryou! It was your turn, so Truth or Dare?"

Ryou: "Uh...Truth!"

Tea: "Truth, hmm?"

*shoots a wicked look at Bakura*

Bakura: *getting uneasy*

'What the hell? Why's she giving ME that look? It's RYOU'S turn.'

Tea: "Ryou, you have to tell us Bakura's most embarrassing moment!"

*smirk*

"If I asked Bakura, he'd lie even though it's Truth, but I know Ryou'll tell the REAL truth, right?"

*squints at Ryou*

Ryou: "Uh..."

Bakura: /If you tell them about that...incident, I can assure you that you won't be alive for very long.../

Ryou: /But I have to! What else am I supposed to do?/

Bakura: /Lie, like me. It's not hard. People are so dumb, they'll believe anything you tell 'em./

Ryou: /...Aren't you forgetting something?/

Bakura: /You're a person? I meant the insult./

Ryou: /No.../

Bakura: /D'oh! I forgot you're a horrible liar!/

Ryou: /Looks like I'll have to tell 'em./

Bakura: /You do that and I'll pound you so hard -/

Tea: "Bakura! Are you threatening Ryou with a pounding if he tells?"

Bakura: "...No."

Tea: "Good, because if you were...I can assure you that you won't be alive for very long."

Bakura: /Geez, what's up with her? Can she hear our conversation or what?/

Tea: "Nope, I just guess. Must be luck."

^__^

Bakura: O_o

Ryou: "Um...do I answer now?"

Bakura: *jumps up*

"NO!"

Tea: "YES!"

Bakura: /NO! Don't you try it!/

Tea: /Dooo it./

Bakura: O_O

*sits down and shuts up*

Ryou: *leans back*

"Well...it all happened long, long ago, when Bakura was just a wee little psycho in Ancient Egypt. He was skipping, yes, skipping! to school one day, with his Ra-Men (the most popular action hero of the day, with his sidekick Noodle) lunch box packed full of goodies his mommy made!"

*scene flashes back*

Chibi Bakura: *has his hair combed and wearing a brand-new school uniform*

"Bye-bye, Mommy!"

Bakura's Momma: "Have a good day, Baki-kins!"

(*everyone snickers at this name, except for Bakura, who turns pink*)

Chibi Bakura: *skipping along happily*

"Doo dee doo wum...Ahhh, what a nice day!"

*spots something on the side of the road*

"Looky, it's a kitty! Pretty kitty!"

*squats down to pet the cat*

Two seconds later:

"YEEEOWWW!!!"

*shoots up, holding his butt*

Ryou voice-over (v/o): "You see, while likkle Baki-kins had bent down to pet the cat, a most horrible sand leech had latched on to his behind! And as you know, sand leeches have very strong jaws and almost never let go of whatever they're holding on to!"

Chibi Bakura: *running as fast as his fat little legs would carry him to the nearest building, the school*

"YAAAAAHHH! Someone help meeeee!"

Mokuba: *giggles*

Kaiba: "Mokuba! Uh, Ryou, is this story uh...propriate-ay for okuba-May?"

Ryou: "Probably not."

Kaiba: "Oookay...c'mon kid, it's time for breakfast!*

*they leave*

Ryou: "So anyway, Bakura had finally reached the school..."

*scene resumes*

Chibi Bakura: *school doors bang open and he bursts inside, screaming the whole time*

*everyone in hallway turns to stare*

Chibi Bakura: *runs around in circles, holding his butt, when suddenly...*

*BOOM...BOOM...BOOM!*

Ryou v/o: "...when suddenly, Chibi Malik, the school's BIG BULLY, showed up!"

Chibi Malik: *standing so he was covered in shadow*

"HA! HA! HA! Looks like little Baki-kins has gotten himself in a spot of trouble!"

Chibi Bakura: *stops running abruptly*

"...Urk."

'Oh no! It's Malik Ishtar, terror of the entire Egyptian People School! I don't want another wedgie...or worse, an atomic wedgie! Or...dare I think it? A triple-reverse-Millennium-rod-stuck-up-my-butt wedgie!! Ouchies...'

Ryou v/o: "Thinking quickly, Chibi Bakura ran towards the gym as fast as he could to escape an almost certain wedgie...but was cut off by Chibi Malik, who with one mighty push, shoved him into the nearest door, which happened to be the..."

Chibi Malik: *chuckling gruffly*

"The GIRLS' LOCKER ROOM is the right place for a girl like Bakura! HA! HA! HA!"

(A/N: Yeah, Malik laughs pretty weird, doesn't he?)

Ryou v/o: "Loud screams were heard from behind the closed door, but one pierced higher than the rest."

Everyone: "Who was it??"

Ryou: "Who do you think?"

Bakura: "Grrrr..."

*shakes fist at Ryou*

*sneaks a look at Tea*

Ryou: v/o: "Annnyway, Baki-kins ran out screaming his head off still, with quite a lot of bruises that weren't there before..."

Bakura: /Ryou, you're gonna have a lot more bruises that weren't there before after this story!!/

*mentally shakes fist at Ryou*

Tea: *looks at Bakura*

/Sure about that, tough guy?/

Bakura: O_o

Ryou: "By some strange coincidence, there was an incident at his school on that very same day, and the journalists from all of Egypt's most popular tablet-oid were there..."

Chibi Bakura: "Yi-yi-yi-yi-yiiiii!"

*runs at top speed out of the school...and right into the journalists*

Journalists: *stopping their work on their tablets and looking up*

Journalist #1: "What's this, guys? A little boy with a sand leech on his butt? We've gotta help him..."

Journalists: *making sounds of agreement*

Journalist #1: "...Right after we get this down!"

Journalists: *scratching furiously on their tablets*

Chibi Bakura: *eyes open wiiide*

"No!! You guys gotta help me now! It hurts!"

Journalist #1: *slyly*

"Oh...sure we'll help you, little boy, right guys?"

Journalists: *making sounds of agreement*

Chibi Bakura: *eyes get big and bright and well up with tears*

"Bu-bu-but, pleeeease?"

Journalists: "Awwww...how cuuuuute!!"

Journalist #1: *stands up*

"Okay, I'm done. Come on, guys!"

Ryou v/o: "First, Journalist #1 tried to pull the sand leech off wittle Baki-kins' butt, but it was stuck fast! He couldn't get it off by himself, so more journalists jumped in to help. It must have been one superpowered leech 'cause eventually, all of them were trying to get it off! They were either part of the chain yanking at Bakura's butt or pulling the other way to keep him from being dragged off."

Journalist #1: "Right, on the count of three, we'll all pull. That blasted critter won't stand a chance with all of us pulling! One, two, three!! Goooo!"

Ryou v/o: "So they pulled and they pulled, and finally, something gave! Unfortunately, it wasn't the sand leech..."

Chibi Bakura: *standing there with his pants down*

*blink*

*blink*

*blush*

Journalists: *scratching away furiously at their tablets again*

Chibi Bakura: "Um, thanks for your HELP, guys. I'm going HOME! WAAAAAAH!!"

Ryou v/o: "And so, wittle Baki-kins ran home crying, and STILL with the sand leech attached to him. Eventually, it died from lack of food ('cause uniforms back then were made of tough stuff and it couldn't actually get to the fleshy part, but I digress) so Bakura was finally able to go to the restroom normally again."

All: *cheers*

Ryou: "Wait, wait! The story's not over yet! Remember those journalists? Well, turns out that the tablets they were so busily scratching was next week's issue, and guess what the cover story was? That's right, our very own Baki-kins and his adventure with the sand leech! Course, it was the most popular tablet-oid in Egypt, so everyone, and I do mean EVERYone-"

*winks at Bakura*"

Bakura: *sulking in the corner*

Ryou: "-saw him in his birthday suit! One of the journalists was a bit, um, uncensored, and let's just say if Ancient Egypt had a contest for the most recognized ding-a-ling, Bakura would take first place!"

*winks at Bakura again*

Bakura: /Stop that!/

Ryou: *musingly*

"I believe that journalist's name was Tryss-tan, or something of the sort."

Tristan: "I'm glad I don't bear any resemblance to that loser, eh Bakura?"

*winking at him*

*gets ready to slap his bum*

Bakura: *giving him a death glare*

*in his iciest voice*

"Don't even think about it, JOURNALIST!"

Tristan: "Humph! Fine, then!"

*takes out his little notepad and starts writing*

Bakura: "Anyway, that story was uh, uh, preposterous! Ryou, you have a runaway imagination!"

*laughs weakly*

"I don't believe a word of it, and neither should you guys!"

Ryou: "Really now, Bakura...then what's THIS?!"

*Pulls out battered, dusty old lunchbox that says "RA-MEN: The Ultimate Egyptian Heroes"*

"Recognize this, Bakura?"

Bakura: *face starts changing colors - pinkish*

"I have n-n-no i-idea what t-that is! That doesn't belong to m-me! Heheh..."

Ryou: *obviously enjoying his moment of triumph*

"Mm-hmm..."

*coolly flicks open the lunch box*

*dumps out the sand and wipes away flecks on an inscription*

"Why, looky here...it says-"

Everyone: *leans in closer to see what it is*

Ryou: "Shoot. I forgot I can't read hieroglyphs."

Bakura: *smug*

"Heheh, guess you have no proof now, eh?"

Yugi: *brightly*

"Nuh-uh! I happen to have my handy-dandy hieroglyphic dictionary!"

*whips it out from his back pocket*

"Ta-daah! Now we can figure it ou-"

Bakura: *snatches it away*

"Not anymore! Nyah-nyah!"

Yugi: *goes quiet and stares at Bakura*

*slowly takes out his Hot Wheels Car*

Bakura: *stares and turns whitish*

*light reflects off spikes on wheels*

"I-I mean, I was just gonna autograph your d-dictionary and give it back, yeah, autograph..."

*quickly signs his name in hierogyphs and thrusts it at Yugi*

Yugi: *turns bubbly immediately*

"Thanks, Bakura! How thoughtful!"

*examines his signature, then looks at the inscription on the lunch box*

*thumbs through dictionary*

"Hmmm...interesting..."

Bakura: *realizes his fatal mistake and turns yellowish*

"Wha-at's so interesting, Yugi?"

*edging toward door*

Mai and Tea: *block door*

"Yeah...What's so interesting, Yugi?"

Yugi: "Well, according to my resources, the inscription says:

"THIS IS THE PROPERTY OF BAKURA, THE COOLEST 'LIL TOMB ROBBER IN ALL OF EGYPT. AND WHO LUVS HIS MOMMY VERY MUCH."

All: *snickering*

Bakura: 'Oh good. He hasn't found the other inscription...whew.'

Joey: "I'm hungee..."

*grabs lunchbox*

"I wonder if there's any breakfast in here?"

*shakes lunchbox and more sand falls out*

*squints*

"Heeey...what's this? Another inscription?"

Bakura: *face falls*

'Ohhh crap.'

*turns reddish*

Joey: "What's this say, Yuge?"

Yugi: *gets cranky*

"You know, I HATE it when you call me that! It makes me sound like a booger, like "Oh, YEWW-GE, that's gross!"

Joey: "Um, okay, Yuu...GI!"

Yugi: *thinking bad thoughts*

Ryou: "So what's it really say?"

Yugi: *looking through dictionary*

*starts snickering*

*singsong*

"Oh, Bak-ura!"

Bakura: *turns greenish*

Yugi: *jumps up and down on Kaiba's bed*

"IT SAYS BAKURA LOVES ISIS FOREVER!! HAHAHAHAHA!!"

*everyone looks at Bakura, laughing*

Bakura: *face turns bright orange while his hair takes on the greenish tint*

*complete silence*

And then...

Yugi: *belts out loudly*

"OOMPA-LOOMPA, OOMPA DE DOOMP!"

Everyone: *joins in*

Bakura: *tries to cover his face with a pillow*

"STOPPIT!! It's a medical condition called Oompalitis! I turn colors when I get overstressed! So stop laughing at me!!"

Meanwhile, Joey and Tristan were occupied in the corner, busily stuffing..something into a sock, and gluing...something to it. Suddenly, they whirled around and...

Joey: *brandishes a sock puppet with googly eyes at Bakura*

"IT'S A SAND LEECH! RUN, RUN!!"

*snaps it at Bakura's butt*

As if on cue, Bakura's pants fell down!!

Everyone: *laughing so hard they thought they were going to get hernias*

Bakura: "AAARGH!"

*pushes past Mai and Tea and runs out of the room*

*dead silence in the room*

Bakura: *in distance*

"AAAAARGH-"

*tripping over his pants around his ankles*

"-ouch."

*gets up*

"AAAARGHHH - "

*crash...bump*

"-ouch. AAARG - ah, screw it!"

Joey and Tristan: *give each other mischievous glances and zoom out of the room at top speed*

Yugi and Ryou: *give each other mischievous glances and zoom out of the room at top speed*

Mai, Tea, and Serenity: *shrug and follow*

Poor Bakura, Joey and Tristan were snapping at him with the sock puppet while yelling "SAND LEECH!!" at the top of their lungs, while Yugi and Ryou were singing the Oompa Loompa song as loudly as they could, and the girls were just, well, chasing after them to keep up.

Evidently, the memory of the sand leech had triggered something in his subconscious, because instead of turning around and beating the crap out of his "friends," he kept running, and led them all over the Kaiba Mansion.

Fifteen minutes later...

All: *huffing and puffing*

Joey: "Ah crap, we lost 'im."

Bakura: *had finally pulled his pants up and had just turned a corner*

His would-be tormentors collapsed on the ground, about to give up when...

Kaiba: *bounds in wearing only a red cape and underpants*

"Tra-la-laaaaa!"

*freezes in a heroic pose and a plastic grin*

Yugi and Ryou: "YAY! Captain Kaibapants to the rescue!!"

Everyone else: *has no idea who Captain Underpants er...Kaibapants is*

Yugi: *sighs and explains*

"You see, me and Ryou found this magic ring one day, and we hypnotized the grouchy Mr. Kaiba with it."

Ryou: *joins in*

"Yeah, and he turns into his alter-ego, Captain Kaibapants! And he helps save the world and fight crime with WEDGIE POWER!"

Captain Kaibapants: *grins and winks*

Yugi: "And now he's here to save us, aren't you, Cap'n Kaibapants?"

Captain Kaibapants: "I sure am! Tra-la-laaaaa!"

*starts leaping around*

Joey: *clicking away with a camera and giggling crazily*

Yugi: *confused*

"Wait, what do we need saving?"

Tea: *disgusted*

"I don't believe this! Snap outta it, Kaiba!"

*waves hand in front of his face*

*nothing happens*

Yugi and Ryou: *smirks*

"We know the only way to get him to turn back. And we're not telling!"

Tea: *pours a bucket of water on him*

Kaiba: *sputters and wakes up*

*looks around and wonders why he's wearing nothing but a red cape and underpants*

*runs off to change*

Everyone: *burst out in laughter*

Kaiba: *comes back*

Everyone: *act like nothing happened*

*stand around not looking at each other*

Tea: "So um...here's Mokuba, Kaiba?"

Kaiba: "Oh, he's upstairs watching TV in his room. His favorite show's on, Sesame Street! That'll keep 'im busy for hours!"

*stands around not looking at each other some more*

Mai: "So um, you think you can help us find Bakura?"

Kaiba: "What's wrong this time?"

Ryou: *explains the whole story with interruptions from the rest of the group*

After it's over:

Kaiba: "Let me get this straight. You just forced Ryou to tell Bakura's most embarrassing moment, and humiliated him so much that he ran away, and NOW you want me to continue his torture by helping you stick that sock up his butt?"

Everyone: *nodding*

Kaiba: "Sounds good to me! Now where's he gone?"

*much scratching of heads and tapping chins*

Ryou: *slapping his forehead*

"OHH! He must have forgotten to close the mindlink in all the chaos! He's heading for the living room!"

Kaiba: "Follow me, and I will lead you to victory!!"

Joey: *sneering*

"Just lead us to the living room, that'll be fine."

Kaiba: "Shut up, dog."

*walks into a wall and disappears*

All: o_O

Joey: "Wat da heck just happened?!"

Kaiba: *sticks his head through the wall*

All: O_O

Kaiba: *dryly*

"It's something called a hologram. Ho-lo-gram."

All: "Ohhhhh..."

*walk through and find themselves in a dark and narrow passageway with lots of twists and turns*

Joey: *whispering*

"Psst, Tristan, what's a hologram?"

Tristan: *whispering back*

"I'm not sure, I think it's some kind of magic!"

Joey: "Ohhh, I see now!"

*talking to himself*

"Mah-jik...yes....mah-jik."

So, they wormed along in the walls of the Kaiba Mansion for what seemed like ages.

Tristan: "Are we there yet?"

Kaiba: "No."

Five minutes later:

Joey: "Are we there yet?"

Kaiba: "NO."

Five minutes later:

Ryou: "Are we there yet?"

Kaiba: "NO!"

Five minutes later:

Yugi: "Are we-"

Kaiba: *pushes him into the wall*

Yugi:*under his breath*

"You're going to pay!!"

*pulls out Hot Wheels and pets it*

Five minutes later:

Kaiba: "We're here -"

Everyone: *cheers*

Kaiba: "- just kidding!"

*laughs maniacally*

"No, just kidding again. We actually are here."

*walks into a wall*

"OW! That was intentional."

A couple bangs later...

Yugi: "Are those still intentional?"

Kaiba: "Shut up, twerp!"

*pushes him into a wall*

Yugi: *falls out into the open air*

Kaiba: "Ohhh, there it is! I mean, that was intentional!"

Ryou: *pushes outside*

"C'mon guys, my yami's right there!"

Bakura: *hiding behind a couch*

Joey and Tristan: "Heh heh heh..."

*sneak up behind Bakura*

"SAND LEECH!! WAHAHAHA!!"

Bakura: *shrieks and jumps up*

The three of them ran around the living room while the others watched in amusement. Finally, Bakura decided he'd had enough of it. He spun around to face his two attackers, but he was going too fast, and the momentum carried him right into a long rug coincidentally placed right in front of the wine cellar door.

Bakura: "Okay, BUSTERS! I've had enough - whooaaaooaaaa!!"

*going at top speed into the cellar door*

Everyone else: *watching helplessly*

*CRASHHH!!*

*busts through the door, leaving a Bakura-shaped hole in it*

Everyone else: *gapes at each other in total silence*

A few seconds later, they heard Bakura's voice echoing from the basement.

Bakura: "Oh hello, Yami. Why are you all tied up and gagged? Wait, what happened to the cellar since the last time I was here? It didn't use to be so...gay."

Then, they heard another voice, more suave and gay than you could ever have imagined, say, "Why, helloooo, Baka-boy!"

Bakura: *high pitched scream*

Mystery voice: "Yes, it's me! And you should be scared, 'cause now I'm back!!"

*diabolical laughter*

Author's Note: Heheh, uh, hope that was long enough for ya? Oh yes, if any of you are unfamiliar with Cap'n Underpants, two boys named Fred and George turned their mean old principal Mr. Krupps into a crime-fighting hero named Captain Underpants, dressed only with a red cape and underwear. Haha, laugh, it was supposed to be funny.

Bakura: *storms in*

You and your funny, FUNNY plot! You think it's funny to torture me?

KG: Uh...yeah?

Bakura: Oh. Well then.

*turns around to leave, then spins around*

What about those stupid puns of yours?? I mean, come on, Ra-men and tablet- oid? You think you're funny or something?

KG: Well, I don't like to brag, but...naw, j/k. That's up to the reviewers to decide! So review away!

* * *

I realized that in Chapter 8, I neglected to thank my reviewers!!! Sorry, sorry, sorry, I guess I just wanted to post it so fast I forgot. -_-;; So now...presenting the great people that reviewed Chapter 7! Alyia, Specter Von Baren, blue eyes silver dragon, Setowriter123456, Angel-soul03, (stellamilnes@aol.com), flaming heart, Sunfalling, Lover of Kaiba, Selcier, and Kiki Jones!!!

And my wonderful reviewers for Chapter 8 are: (stellamilnes@aol.com), Magicman/Smokegirl, Kiki Jones, Sunfalling, Kaya Kioko (I_stalk_Gohan@hotmail.com), yamachan*is my*man, Ivy Bakura, serenapegasuskaiba, All Things Rock, All things DO rock, Amiasha (FOUR chapters, you rock!), and ^_^ (Uh hehehe, yeah I know I do - but I did!)!!!

Also thanks to apllo21 and Kaiba Duelist!

Thanks so much to all of you, your reviews are really encouraging and motivational! Cheers!

* * *

KG: By the way, Bakura, the reviewers think you're funny.

Bakura: They do?

KG: Yeah, funny - LOOKIN'! Whoohahahaha...er, just kidding! ^____^