A/N: You know, the funny thing is that yesterday, I was watching Lord of
the rings movie. And when the camera zoomed on Legolas in the Rivendell
part, my little (6 yrs old) sister began screaming, "It's the elf! It's the
elf!"
So then she goes up to me and asks, "Ral (my nickname), how much did he break?"
And I'm like, "What do you mean?"
"You know...how much did he break?"
"Break what!?" I said.
"Can you tell me how much nails did he break!?"
And I started cracking up with laughter for God knows how long. What she meant was, 'how many limbs did he break' cuz she overheard me saying that the actor who plays his role is accident prone and he broke his foot, his rib, his skull 3 times, his back...etc.
Anywho, god that was funny... ANYWHO, thx for my first 5 reviewers. You're replies are at the bottom.
*~*
I'm a natural blond so please speak slowly
*~*
"LEGOLAS! Where have you been!?" Elrond said walking up to him.
"Well, you see, Lord Elrond," Legolas said as he climbed off his horse, which he had been sitting on the wrong way. "On the first day, ada said I 'over-selpt'--which I'm sure I didn't -- and after I left from my home to journey here, I was almost near your place but then I saw a sign that said 'Imlandris left' so I packed up and went home."
Elrond smacked his forehead. "Did you not know that the sign said the DIRECTION?"
"Oh yes, that is what Ada said to me after I got back to Mirkwood."
"Come inside, you must be wary." Said Elrond as he sighed.
As they walked down the halls, Legolas looked at the elf lord. "Hmm...Lord Elrond, do you think I should dye my hair brown?"
"No Legolas," He said firmly. "It would be declared as 'Artificial Intelligence'"
"Ahh..." Said Legolas, obviously not understanding what he meant.
Suddenly Legolas fainted.
*~*
"What happened to him, Elrond?" Asked Gandalf. "Why did he faint?"
Aragorn, Gandalf and Elrond were all in a chamber, watching the unconscious Legolas in anxiousness.
"He forgot to breath again." Elrond said as he got up. "Really Gandalf, I am not sure if Legolas is uh...cut out to be a member of the fellowship. I just think he is too stupid."
"Nonsense, Elrond!" Gandalf replied. "I am sure that this elf is as wise as you and eye. Maybe he wants to give us a bit of a laugh."
"No he doesn't. I KNOW him, Mithrandir." Elrond said darkly. "I've known him ever since he was a little elfling. How he tripped over cordless phones (note: I'm gonna put some modern stuff in the story), how he tried to drown a fish..."
Gandalf was about to say something back when the heard a loud girlish scream. The turned around and they saw Legolas out of bed and panicking madly. "I'M BLIND!! OH DEAR ELBERETH, I CAN'T SEE!! I'M BLIND!! OH WHAT CRUEL FATE THAT HAS BEEN BESTOWED UPON ME!!"
Aragorn was trying to calm him down but the elf was going crazy.
Elrond sighed again in frustration. "You stupid Sylvan elf! You forgot to open your eyes once more!"
Legolas opened his eyes and a sudden look of happiness formed upon his face but then he looked at Elrond, cleared his throat, and looked snobilishly at him. "I knew that! I was uh...I was just testing you."
"Testing me? TESTING ME ON WHAT?!" Elrond yelled.
Aragorn laughed and tried to change the situation. "Come my elf friend, I shall take you out for a drink to forget your worries."
"Ooooh! I want smoked beef with oriental vegetable salad! " Yelled Legolas as he clapped his hands together.
"I said a drink not a meal."
*~*
So what didja think? Hope it wasn't TOO bad! Anyways, the joke of the day/fic.
How do blondes spell 'farm?'
Answer: E-I-E-I-O!!!!
And...
A blonde and a brunette jump off of the Empire State building. Who lands first?
Answer: The brunette because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.
*~*
Review Replies:
Mrs Frodo Baggins: Thanks, oh and I've heard of that joke before except it was in a pic! :-)
Imbefaniel: Lmao! I had to reread your review at least 3 times so it can make sense. Lol, I guess I'm just a dumb blonde too. Ah well, anways, about the lipstick thing. I really don't know, my friend, and perhaps, we shall never know. I don't want to anyway, the thought kinda scares me.
DiPlOmAtIc LuNaTiC: Lol! Thanks! Hope u like this one!
Rain Minstrel and Raewyn: Rain: Hey, thanks! Raewyn: Lol, I dunno. You're gonna have to ask a dumb blonde, that question. Hehe...
Oddwen: Thanks. Sorry if it hurt ur feelings, I just thought it might be funny. What's worst is that I'm a brunette who should have been blonde!
So then she goes up to me and asks, "Ral (my nickname), how much did he break?"
And I'm like, "What do you mean?"
"You know...how much did he break?"
"Break what!?" I said.
"Can you tell me how much nails did he break!?"
And I started cracking up with laughter for God knows how long. What she meant was, 'how many limbs did he break' cuz she overheard me saying that the actor who plays his role is accident prone and he broke his foot, his rib, his skull 3 times, his back...etc.
Anywho, god that was funny... ANYWHO, thx for my first 5 reviewers. You're replies are at the bottom.
*~*
I'm a natural blond so please speak slowly
*~*
"LEGOLAS! Where have you been!?" Elrond said walking up to him.
"Well, you see, Lord Elrond," Legolas said as he climbed off his horse, which he had been sitting on the wrong way. "On the first day, ada said I 'over-selpt'--which I'm sure I didn't -- and after I left from my home to journey here, I was almost near your place but then I saw a sign that said 'Imlandris left' so I packed up and went home."
Elrond smacked his forehead. "Did you not know that the sign said the DIRECTION?"
"Oh yes, that is what Ada said to me after I got back to Mirkwood."
"Come inside, you must be wary." Said Elrond as he sighed.
As they walked down the halls, Legolas looked at the elf lord. "Hmm...Lord Elrond, do you think I should dye my hair brown?"
"No Legolas," He said firmly. "It would be declared as 'Artificial Intelligence'"
"Ahh..." Said Legolas, obviously not understanding what he meant.
Suddenly Legolas fainted.
*~*
"What happened to him, Elrond?" Asked Gandalf. "Why did he faint?"
Aragorn, Gandalf and Elrond were all in a chamber, watching the unconscious Legolas in anxiousness.
"He forgot to breath again." Elrond said as he got up. "Really Gandalf, I am not sure if Legolas is uh...cut out to be a member of the fellowship. I just think he is too stupid."
"Nonsense, Elrond!" Gandalf replied. "I am sure that this elf is as wise as you and eye. Maybe he wants to give us a bit of a laugh."
"No he doesn't. I KNOW him, Mithrandir." Elrond said darkly. "I've known him ever since he was a little elfling. How he tripped over cordless phones (note: I'm gonna put some modern stuff in the story), how he tried to drown a fish..."
Gandalf was about to say something back when the heard a loud girlish scream. The turned around and they saw Legolas out of bed and panicking madly. "I'M BLIND!! OH DEAR ELBERETH, I CAN'T SEE!! I'M BLIND!! OH WHAT CRUEL FATE THAT HAS BEEN BESTOWED UPON ME!!"
Aragorn was trying to calm him down but the elf was going crazy.
Elrond sighed again in frustration. "You stupid Sylvan elf! You forgot to open your eyes once more!"
Legolas opened his eyes and a sudden look of happiness formed upon his face but then he looked at Elrond, cleared his throat, and looked snobilishly at him. "I knew that! I was uh...I was just testing you."
"Testing me? TESTING ME ON WHAT?!" Elrond yelled.
Aragorn laughed and tried to change the situation. "Come my elf friend, I shall take you out for a drink to forget your worries."
"Ooooh! I want smoked beef with oriental vegetable salad! " Yelled Legolas as he clapped his hands together.
"I said a drink not a meal."
*~*
So what didja think? Hope it wasn't TOO bad! Anyways, the joke of the day/fic.
How do blondes spell 'farm?'
Answer: E-I-E-I-O!!!!
And...
A blonde and a brunette jump off of the Empire State building. Who lands first?
Answer: The brunette because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.
*~*
Review Replies:
Mrs Frodo Baggins: Thanks, oh and I've heard of that joke before except it was in a pic! :-)
Imbefaniel: Lmao! I had to reread your review at least 3 times so it can make sense. Lol, I guess I'm just a dumb blonde too. Ah well, anways, about the lipstick thing. I really don't know, my friend, and perhaps, we shall never know. I don't want to anyway, the thought kinda scares me.
DiPlOmAtIc LuNaTiC: Lol! Thanks! Hope u like this one!
Rain Minstrel and Raewyn: Rain: Hey, thanks! Raewyn: Lol, I dunno. You're gonna have to ask a dumb blonde, that question. Hehe...
Oddwen: Thanks. Sorry if it hurt ur feelings, I just thought it might be funny. What's worst is that I'm a brunette who should have been blonde!
