Chapter Three: Council Around the Artificial Fire

Well, I'm for it! shouted Orlando Bloom, waving his hands around in a wild manner. He seemed a bit odd to me; not at all Hobbitish. Still, Men were more adventurous than Hobbits, for the most part.

pushed his eye coverings to the top of his head and looked at Peter.
So, what'll we do about all this? he asked. Do we just go home, then?

Orlando, still looking quite wild-eyed and excited, broke in before Peter could answer, flinging his arms across Dom's shoulder and grinning.
'Course not! he said, We can act in this one too, can't we then, Pete?

Peter looked stunned a minute, then smiled. All the other actors looked uncertain for a moment and watched him expectantly. He cleared his throat, smiled around at the company, and spoke again.
If you all wouldn't mind, I think doing this project could help bring up together as a company. And where else am I supposed to get such a crew of dedicated actors as I've been working with here?

Sir Ian, Mr. Rhys-Davies and both Seans all looked uncomfortable. Aragorn, I mean to say Viggo Mortensen, stayed quiet at the back next to Sean Bean.
What roles do we have, then? the first Sean (I later found his name was Sean Astin) asked tentatively.

I broke in, rather excited if I do say so myself. There were thirteen Dwarves, and me of course, and Gandalf, and Beorn, and a few Elves like Elrond and the Imladris Elves, and King Thranduil and the Mirkwood Elves, and various Orcs, and of course Hobbits, and Wargs and Goblins and Gollum and Gwaihir the Windlord and all the Eagles. Not to mention Smaug, and Bard, and the old Master of Laketown. I paused a moment. However were we to make this come out? Well, if he could tell the Fellowship's tale... I supposed he knew magic which could help, or something of the sort at least.

So are you all interested? Peter asked, picking up where I had left off to muse. Tell you what, let's go to the hotel meeting-room and we can discuss this a bit more, actor to director, all right? He looked about, nodding. All right then, we have three helicopters here. Bilbo can come with me (I groaned at the thought of the noisy machine, and I noticed Sean Bean didn't look to pleased either) and the rest of you, just stay in the 'copters you came over in. Get your things ready in your rooms and then come to the hotel and meet me in the meeting-room in about an hour after we land.

He turned and led me into the helicopter with himself and the people with the cameras, and the rest got into their own respective helicopters. We took off and eventually landed, and to make a long story short, all met in the meeting-room about an hour later. It was very strange and brightly-lit, with a long and extremely shiny wooden table flanked with similarly brilliant wooden chairs. Over the table, a large array of lights, even more brilliant than the gleam of the furniture, hung from the ceiling on a thick metal chain. All of the chairs, of course, were far too low for even a good-sized Hobbit, so I remained standing at first. The only ones at the table at first were Sir Ian, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Bean and Elijah Wood (though he appeared to be asleep at the table, despite the brightness of the room). Mr. Mortensen and Mr. Bean were talking together in low tones, occasionally shooting glances my way. I was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable; everything in this world was so strange to me.

Thankfully, Sir Ian noticed my predicament with regards to the chair, and left the room for a moment, to come back with a wooden contraption which I saw had been designed to raise the seat of a chair. As the door closed upon his return, Elijah Wood raised his head up from the table and let out a laugh, looking surprised. I couldn't see what could bring on his mirth, and the words he spoke shed no light whatsoever on the matter.
Come on! he said, letting out a burst of giggles,You can't give him a booster seat! That's just wrong.

Sir Ian looked at him seriously, then smiled a bit. He looked and acted remarkably like Gandalf for a moment, and then I blinked and the illusion was gone, leaving me to wonder if it was only an old Hobbit's eyes playing tricks on him or whether something stranger was afoot.

Well, would you rather our guest have to stand?He looked at me with Gandalf's usual twinkle in his eye. he said, fitting the device onto the chair and stepping back to allow me to sit. I admit I felt a bit ridiculous climbing the fortified chair, but it put me on level with the world of Men at last. I like to think I was there to start with, though I know I am often judged by my height. I wondered why a booster seat was so funny to them and finally shrugged. The customs of this land were indeed odd.

Eventually, Billy Boyd and walked in, followed by Orlando Bloom. Dom's eye coverings had been removed, and I noticed for the first time that Orlando Bloom's hair had been removed as well, some time ago. I know it is impolite, but I had to stifle a snort of laughter at the sight, reminiscent of the time Merry got it into his head that young Pippin needed a haircut. Following them was John Rhys-Davies, who walked in slowly and sat down at the far end of the table. Last of all was Sean A., as I came to know him, who carefully drew the door shut behind him as he entered and sat between Billy and Elijah. Finally we were ready to discuss the purpose of the meeting, and Peter stood up to speak.

First of all, I commissioned some new scriptwriters to write the script for the Hobbit while the Lord of the Rings script is being continued. All we need to start off is the first scene, and we can take it from there, all right? There was no dissent. I also thought Bilbo could help and fill us in on some of the story, and he'll go to meet with the new scriptwriters tomorrow morning.

I nodded; it seemed a good idea.

Then there is the matter of casting, which is why I brought you all here. I assume you want to take part. Well, there are fifteen major roles, Gandalf and Bilbo of course, and also the thirteen Dwarves, Thorin, Dwalin, Balin, Kili, Fili, Dori, Nori, Ori, Oin, Gloin, Bifur, Bofur and Bombur.

Elijah blinked. That's a lot. Are they all different, or what?

Yeah, what're their personality types? put in Dom, grinning for some reason.

Gloin... is the father of Gimli, rumbled John Rhys-Davies. I should like to audition for that role myself.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves! Peter exclaimed. He was smiling nonetheless. I'm sure Bilbo can help us write up a quick review of all of their personalities and looks, right Mr. Baggins?

I nodded again, awed at how quickly he had taken control of my Quest.

And there are other roles as well, right? asked Orlando Bloom. I mean, isn't Legolas' father in there, somewhere?

Yes, he is... but it's not a major role, you know. We'll probably want you all for the Dwarves, and for those of you who do not resemble Dwarves, we have our excellent makeup technicians!

Orlando sat back, looking a bit abashed. The Sean B. asked a question, very sensible of him too I might add.

But there are only nine of us, he pointed out. At this point I felt compelled to break in.

I shall play myself, of course, and Gandalf appears in both tales, so really there are eight of you and thirteen roles to fill.

We could cut some out...said Peter thoughtfully. I was dismayed.

No! That is quite impossible, I stated firmly. Were they here today, they would not wish to be left out of the tale. We shall simply need to find more actors. I nodded my head decisively, a bit red in the face I am afraid.

All right. Mr. Baggins! Peter said, wide-eyed. Though as to you playing yourself, I am afraid you shall have to audition with everyone else in three days.

I nodded thoughtfully. I had never thought of anyone else playing my part, but I suppose someone had to. I could hardly contain my excitement and trepidation at meeting my counterpart in three days. For now, Peter proclaimed the meeting adjourned, and I walked with him to the quarters he had set up for me, muttering to myself.


Disclaimer: I own nothing of my own, save the few supplies in my pack and a copy of There and Back Again. I do own what feedback the authors in this library have given me, and am quite thankful at their praise. It is really too much for an old Hobbit, even one as famous as I am. Incurelf, here is the chapter you asked for, and coming next is the Audition. Reliving it will be quite nerve-wracking, so give me a few days to steel myself to the task of writing it down.
Also I would just like to inform everyone that I have successfully sold half a set of the trout forks.