For the last time this story, these people aren't mine, I make no money please don't sue me. Thanks.
Alright all my faithful readers this is it, the grand finale, then end of my first work, and this bit is happy I swear. Just look at the title how could something called light be unhappy. It was a pleasure writing for you all. If you have any other ideas and you don't want to write them personally feel free to share. Thanks again for your readership.
PrepSatan
When The Darkness Turns To Light: Light
By: PrepSatan
Grissom got up and went to work like he did every other day. He wanted to call her, to talk to her, to tell her that he was here and everything would be ok. But he didn't instead he went to his crime scene, alone and worked. He usually worked because he loved this job, today he worked to forget.
Back at her place Sara slept, there was nothing like a near death experience and a whole whack of Gravol to help a person sleep. When she finally woke up Sara thought about how well she had slept and it was then that it occurred to her that she had to find a better way to deal with the nausea that the new drug was causing because Gravol wasn't going to work forever. She couldn't work if she couldn't stay awake but on the other hand she couldn't work if she was too nauseous to look at the crime scene. So it was kind of six of one a half dozen of the other. She decided to look up other way of coping on the internet. After an hour the only thing she found out was every website said something different and the only thing they all mentioned was either ginger or mint. She searched her cupboards and found that she assorted box of tea had one peppermint tea bag in it. She looked at it for a minute trying to remember when she had bought it but decided that tea doesn't really go bad so it couldn't hurt to try it, even if she did think that all of this natural remedy stuff was a crock. She drank her tea and turned back to the screen to find out more about her new meds. She eventually came up with a list of common side-effects including: headache, sedation, dizziness, nausea, insomnia, fatigue, nervousness, nightmares, anger/hostility, tremors, dry mouth, and blurred vision. The list went on and on but thankfully most of the side effects were uncommon. 'Great," Sara thought, "I'm going to be a jittery, dizzy, shaking, sick, nervous, tired, insomniac, who has nightmares and hates everyone." She smiled at the thought though. She logged off and noticed that the tea had worked, amazing enough she was feeling great. 'Damn this stuff is good'. She though, making a mental note to buy some more on her way to work tomorrow. It was at that point that Sara thought about work, about how Grissom and Catherine both knew her secret, and about what she would tell Nicky, Warrick and Greg.
At the end of the shift Catherine walked into Grissom's office. He was still researching, absorbing all the information that he could, trying to find little ways that he could help Sara.
"Hey is Sara coming back next shift?" Catherine asked, startling Grissom out of his thoughts.
"Umm yea."
"Have you talked to her yet, I mean since she kicked you out?"
"I called but she didn't answer."
"She'll come around Gil, anyway I'm outta here. See you tomorrow?"
"Yaa, goodnight Cath."
Grissom went home and stayed up until the late afternoon researching. He had to know everything about Sara's condition if he was going to help her.
The next shift slowly rolled around, Sara was anxious about going back to work, she wasn't sure if it was because of how she treated Grissom, because he and Catherine knew, or because she was going to have to think of some lie to tell the rest of the squad. The drive passed quickly and she was soon pulling into the CSI parking lot. Nick was just getting out of his car when pulled up. 'Great and I have no idea what to tell him.' Sara thought as Nick wandered towards her.
"Hey Sar, you feeling better? Grissom said you had a killer flu bug, you still look a little pale, are you sure you should be back so soon." There was genuine concern in the Texans voice.
Sara gave him a little smile, happy that Grissom had come up with a lie for her. "Hey Nick, I'm feeling a lot better, not 100%, but good, maybe a bit tired."
Nick eyed her suspiciously; he didn't think she looked well enough to be back at work. He stepped forward hoping she wouldn't get angry at him as he placed the back of his hand on her forehead. He stepped back and looked her over again. "You don't look like your feeling better Sara."
"I'm fine." She snapped back at him. "I'm sorry Nicky I shouldn't have yelled at you." She placed a hand on his arm. "I'm fine, really. Let's go to work."
They walked in to the office where Sara met up with Warrick.
"Hey girl, how ya feeling?" He smiled at her, happy she was back to work.
"I'm good Warrick, thanks for asking." She smiled, hoping he would drop it there.
"Great, anyway Grissom wants us in the break room for assignments."
"I'll be there in a minute." She smiled at Nicky and Warrick again as she ducked into the locker room. She dumped her stuff into her locker, grabbing a tea bag and a bottle of water; she took her next dose of meds, put the water back and went to the break room.
Everyone was there already; they all turned when she walked in. She smiled and walked over to put the kettle on before sitting on the couch next to Catherine, who regarded the younger CSI thoughtfully. She had always secretly admired Sara and her complete devotion to her job, but had wondered how she managed to stay sane with no social interaction outside of these walls. Now she knew. She looked carefully at Sara, she was definitely a bit pale and Catherine noticed that she was holding her left hand in a vain attempt to keep it still. She marvelled at how much she was willing to go through just to come to work. Just then the kettle whistled pulling Catherine from her thoughts.
"Nice to see you're feeling better Sara." She said. Sara smiled before standing to get her water, as she did one hand flew to her head as the other grabbed the arm of the sofa. Grissom was up and at her side in an instant. "Sara what's wrong?" He grabbed her arm to steady her.
She shook him off. "I'm fine." She went and got her tea before sitting back down and asking Grissom, "What have we got?"
He sighed and looked at his assignment slips. "We got a 427 of the strip, Nick I want you and Warrick on that one." He handed them their slip and they left. "We got a D.B. in the desert, Sara I want you with me on that one so Catherine can you finish up from yesterday?"
"Sure thing." She smiled at him and walked down to the layout room.
Grissom and Sara sat looking at each other.
"Why are you here Sara?" Grissom asked a little harsher than he meant to.
"I work here, unless being crazy got me fired." Sara spat back.
"You're not crazy, you have an anxiety disorder, a lot of people do, but why are you here today? You've been on your new meds what two days? You don't know what they're going to do. Look at yourself, your white as a ghost, you can't stop your hands from shaking, and you almost passed out when you stood up. You're a wreck!"
She glared at him before shooting back, "If I'm so incapable of working why do you want me working the D.B.?"
Grissom sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose under his glasses. "Because I'm worried about you, and I want to make sure that you're ok, I can't do that if we're not together."
Sara didn't really know how to respond so she just got up slowly and said "Let's go."
The drive to the desert passed silently neither of them knowing what to say to the other. They arrived at the scene and were greeted by Captain Brass. He looked at Sara and then Grissom. "The bodies over there, it was found by that hiker over there." He jerked his thumb to the left where a young man in hiking apparel stood looking shell-shocked. "No one touched anything, I've got another call, I'll be seeing you." He turned and left them to their work. Grissom looked over at the body and then back at Sara. "Why don't you interview the hiker and I'll start processing?"
"Fine." Sara grabbed her kit and stalked off. Grissom shock his head before taking his own kit and going to the body. It was fairly gruesome; the victim had obviously been dead for at least a day, as he was covered in maggots. Grissom pulled out his evidence jars and picked a few up before continuing with the rest of the collection. He had been working for about half an hour when he heard Sara coming up behind him. He stood and turned towards her, "Sara you'll want to stay there, bugs." He gestured to the body, but it was too late, Sara blanched, clamped her hand over her mouth and stumbled away from the scene. Grissom gave her a minute before walking over to where she was sitting. She was on the ground shaking from head to toe; he hated seeing her like this. "Sara?" he said gently reaching out to touch her shoulder. "Why don't you go sit in the car while I finish up here, then we'll go back to the lab and talk."
"I don't need your f*cking sympathy, leave me alone." She yelled as loud as she could, there was no one but them around so she didn't care how she sounded. Grissom was stunned, she didn't swear a lot and never at him. Suddenly her face turned from angry to remorseful. "I'm sorry Grissom, I didn't mean it these stupid drugs, I hate them! The doctors tell me that they'll make me better and then all they do is make me sick." She pulled the bottle out of her pocket and threw it on the ground. "These stupid things make me all jittery, my hands shake, I'm nauseous all the time, and mood swings, there is no reason you should have to deal with me like this, I'm sorry you have to put up with this. I just, I just need to be at work, to keep myself in control." She was crying now, Grissom was standing in stunned silence, listening to her spill everything to him. "If I don't work I think about all I don't have because of this stupid disease. I can't go out and have fun, crowds scare me, I'm terrified of people. It's not fair Gil, it's not fair, I didn't do anything to deserve this, I didn't deserve what they put me through. There's no excuse for what they did."
Grissom walked over to her. "Who are they, what did they do to you?" he asked gently.
"The people I went to school with, god they were so mean to me. Every day laughing and harassing me, just because I was smarter than them. Making me feel worthless. No one should have to live with that. Remember Barry Shickle, he deserved what he got that bastard, just because Dennis was short he had the right to be that cruel, I don't think so!"
Grissom couldn't believe what he was hearing, Sara was against killing anyone for anything and here she was saying that murdering a school bully was okay because no one should have to live through what she lived through.
"Those kids at my school had no right to ruin my life like they did. No right." Her breath was coming faster now; Grissom could see that she was on the verge of another panic attack.
"Sara, you have to stop, clam down." She didn't look at him. "Sara, sweetie please, calm down." He couldn't believe he had just called her 'sweetie', but it worked, Sara looked at him,
"What did you just call me?" She was still hyperventilating, but less.
"Sweetie, I'm sorry it was out of line. But you need to calm down. Take a deep breath. I want to help, how can I help?"
"You can't." Sara tried a deep breath, and failed.
Grissom reached out and took her shaking hands. She looked away, pulling her hands back willing them to stay still. He saw the fear in her eyes and acted on impulse. He pulled her close to him, he could feel her hands shaking against his chest, and hear her rapid, shallow breathing. "Shhh, it's okay Sara, we'll get through this together." He smoothed her hair down, she looked up at him. Her breathing was returning to normal.
"It's so hard Gil."
"I know it is."
"You don't know, you have no idea, it's hopeless, there's no light at the end of the tunnel, there's just dark." She was crying again.
"It looks dark now, but the darkness will turn to light, we will get through this, you'll be ok, I promise. I love you Sara and if I have to walk to the ends of the earth to help you, I will. You're not alone anymore; I'm with you, forever." Sara leaned against him allowing him to hold her closer. As she turned her face away from Grissom's chest and into the warm caress of the rising sun she smiled because she knew in her heart that he was right. She would be okay; she was with him now and for the first time she felt perfectly safe.
The End
