Disclaimers: Nothing obtained, nothing to lose.
Warnings: Shonen Ai 2+1+2 (duh), R+?, romance, mild language, OOC, Heero's POV, sensitive and somewhat the bratty Hee-chan we all love, possible constructive Relena bashing (at the beginning)?
Notes: Uh...not much to say here, Heero with Relena and not pleasant, ya know? Enjoy!
~!~!~!~!~
Let Me Go
~!~!~!~!~
Today is Friday. Tomorrow is Saturday. The next is Sunday. And after that comes Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Then comes Friday aga--
I stopped myself, why am I reviewing the days? Days that I've known throughout my life, the seven day week. Oh yes, I remember now, I'm bored.
Bored.
Let's define the word 'bored', shall we? To tire with dullness, repetition, or tediousness.
That's right, and that's exactly what I am right now. It's hard to think that the ex-Perfect Soldier is bored. I never knew there was ever such a thing...until I moved in with Relena. I knew I shouldn't have, so don't give me that lecture. She promised happiness, love, and everything I ever wanted. She did not mention boredom. Honestly, I thought that I could get more action here protecting Miss Peacecraft. Now I see that my grandmother's bones could do a good job keeping her safe...
Assuming that I did at one point have a grandmother...
She doesn't need protection, she needs a life. Making speeches from five to nine and listening to others' ideal world, fantisizing peace for all...she's going on seventeen and she dove right in to politics. Politics were not meant for a silly teenager to fool around with. What does she know? She hasn't been on the face of the world long enough. *I* haven't been on the face of the world long enough. What makes her think that she can step up to the microphone and tell her points of view about how everything should be? She hasn't seen anything. Yet there she is at the pedestal brainwashing forty year old virgins who run the earth and colonies. I almost feel sorry for them all. It's patheic.
I sighed.
I'm so *BORED*. I want to put myself to use. I want to clean up the messy lobby. I want to do *something*. I want to do *anything*. Anything besides sit here with a nice gun and listen to all of Relena's fantasy speeches that is. The anatomy of her speeches are basically trying to say 'Let's not fight' and 'Peace is good'. I find Relena to be a pacifistic hypocrite.
Clapping. I hear clapping. I look down from the shadowy balcony, she is stepping down from the pedestal and leaving.
Thank God.
We all retire to the lobby that I had wished to clean. This is boring too, at least now I can move around.
It's the same thing everyday. Wake up, eat, listen to lectures and speeches, retire to the lobby, sleep. With the exception of Friday, today. She throws a party after their speeches which are still *BORING*! Oh, I did forget one thing though, I also have to go back to school because she hasn't gotten a full education yet. Frankly, I think the people are blind. They let a fifteen year old be Queen of the World, and she hasn't even had a high school education. They expect her to bring peace and protection from evil? She hasn't even studied world geography. 'Miss Relena, Russia is about to be blown into smitherines!' a general would inform, and Relena would reply 'No! We mustn't resort to violence! Send in the Gundams! By the way...where is Russia?' They are all foolish.
Did I mention that she is very obsessive? She chases me to Antarctica then illegally opens my mail and reads it. She comes all that way to read me the letter. Flattering? Try annoying. It was a personal letter, and I don't appreciate her waving it around shouting 'Heeeeeeeero!'. It just doesn't impress me.
I'm so goddamn bored!
I scan the lobby from habit, it's clear; no spies, or terrorist (besides me). However, I do see a rather large cake. A pink cake actually. It must be from Relena.
"Oh, Heero, are you enjoying yourself?" she asks me while she serves her and myself punch. Maybe it's poisoned and she'll die. Or I'll die. Either one of us will do. Doesn't matter.
"Hn." I say which roughly translates in to 'no'.
"I wish you wouldn't speak to me like that, Heero. It's impolite."
I only grunt again to agitate her furthermore.
"You don't remember what today is, do you?"
I cock an eyebrow at her. What is she talking about? "Today is Friday." I reply casually.
She only sighs with a sadden expression, "You've forgotten, haven't you?"
Forgetten what? Today is Friday isn't it? I said it was Friday during her speech.
"I haven't forgotten what day it is." I say.
Her eyes light up and she looks at me expectantly, "Honto ni?"
"Aa."
"Well?"
"...today is Friday." I repeat. It is!
Sadness is written all over her face. "You have forgotten."
She wants me to guess what day it is. It's not an anniversary, I haven't an anniversary to celebrate with her. So then...
"It's my birthday Heero!" she shouts to me, I can feel her breath on my skin.
She needs a breath mint...no, I'm just being rude. I'm imaging bad breath, I'm not meaning to be offensive.
"Hn." So *that* explains the pink cake.
She glares at me, "You're impossible..." she whispers and holds her head in hand as if she's going to cry.
Then a group of politicians approach her and they engage themselves in a heated conversation of showering Relena with compliments. I leave her. She doesn't need me. Asking for my protection is just another one of her ways to get near me. I am her obsession, and I can't stand it. I realize that now. I should have never left. I should have never left him. He warned me what would happen, and he was right. He was always right.
I get the feeling that Relena's getting tired of my non-sociable ways.
Maybe fighting will take place if she's angry with me instead of boredom.
It's funny, when I was with him, he never minded my anti-social personality.
In fact, the way he treated me was with care, he *nurtured* me...that's the word isn't it? Nurtured? Yes, it has to be. I want him to nurture me like he used to...
But he's not here with me now. He can't tell me what's going to happen next, or listen to my breathing, whisper in my ear at night, hold me close...
I mentally kick myself. I left him for her. I can't go back and admitt I was wrong...
Even if I want to.
My heart aches. I miss him. I can't believe that I didn't consider his fore warning.
And I called *him* the baka.
I suppose I'm babbling now. He used to babble, probably still does. Either that, or I've gone insane from the war and belong in an asylum...does it matter anymore? I'm fine. Just fine.
I wish I would stop lying to myself.
Honestly, I'm miserable here. I want to leave, run away.
It's so *BORING*!
I'm so bored here, I think that gouging my eyes out of my head would be more fun than painful.
*THAT* is how bored I am.
I know, it's pitiful.
I always thought I was going to expire during the war. Something honorable to die when you fight...I guess, isn't that what is said? To die fighting for what you believe in?
But I didn't believe what I was fighting in, just not to fail the missions. I assumed that I was the good guy. I think I should have died during the war.
Then I couldn't die of Relena's boredom.
Or maybe I should have never left. I didn't see it then, but my life was much better with *him*.
I find myself switching topics between him and her, as you can see. I need to stop. The more I think of him, the more I long to be by his side, anywhere would do just so long as I'm with him.
I'm doing it again, aren't I?
I sighed.
"Duo......"
I gasp, I can't believe I said that, and I can't believe I miss him that much. I can't believe I have forgiven him just by not being close to him. It's only been a year and six months.
A year and six months...two weeks, five days, ten hours, fifteen minutes, and--
I look down at my watch.
27 seconds...since I last saw him...but seems like forever...
I walk out of the lobby onto the balcony for some fresh air. I begin to think about him again. Why did I leave? I had everything there. Here all I have is an obsessive admirer whose crush is unbearable and a bed to sleep on. There, I had happiness and everything I wanted, even perhaps...love? No! I didn't have love there! At least I don't think...but he always told me...
I pinch myself, "Wake up Heero. You're here now. Stop thinking..." I tell myself, though it's always easier said than done. I just can't seem to make myself forget...
I don't want to.
It took me a year and six months to realize that I feel lonely without him...
I make sure no one is under the balacony. It's clear.
I drop my punch glass and watch it fall.
*crash*
The cup shatters into a million pieces. I smirk and go inside to get another glass or two...or ten, which ever will settle my need of destruction.
*crash*
She says she could make it better.
*crash*
Purify the soldier within.
*crash*
Put my suffering to an end.
*crash*
Give me everything.
*crash*
Even herself.
*crash*
She would help me.
*crash*
...I don't want anything from her.
*crash*
Look what I got for listening to her.
*crash*
Nothing, but BOREDOM!
*CRASH! CRASH! CRASH!*
I throw the rest of the glasses down instead of dropping them. My teeth are clenched and my breathing is heavy.
See, this here is not boring at all. I drop the glasses in different ways predicting the landing of the soon-to-be broken glass. Eheheh...I feel pleasure when I wreck Relena's goods. Actually, that was fun. I lean over the railing to see the mess I've made. All I can say is...
...wow.
That felt good. It appears that the glass expresses what I feel now, I'm shattered, and I am impossible to be put back together again. Well, not impossible, you could always melt the shards and create a new cup, but...who would take such time?
I slide down to the ground and let out a long sigh. I let my head droop down. I was on the verge of getting more glasses, but it would look odd if the guest saw me rush to the table and snatch several drinking vessels, then later they would see the mess. It's no longer a mystery who smashed the expensive crystal. So I don't do it.
In the silence the soft breeze brings a sound to my ears, suspicious rustling in the garden. I smirk a second time and feel the soldier with in come alive. Good, maybe I'll get to shoot something tonight...
Why do I think that?
Because none of the politicians ever enter the garden...
I jump from the balacony and feel the the glass shards crunch below my feet. Fortunately, I decided to wear my thick dress shoes tonight. Though, if I didn't, I would be able to feel physical pain that I haven't felt in over a year...or since this morning when I hit my head on that damned table. Unfortunately, however, I cursed at myself for wearing dress pants, they are unfit for this sort of activity.
Putting on my favorite death glare, I stealthfully creep into the garden, gun in hand. I pin point the target.
"Omae o--"
Then a sense of shock and affright overwhelms my system and my glare melts allowing my eyes to betray all of my emotions. I feel like a lost child now, seeing what I see. I can't believe it.
"D-Duo...?" I stammer.
It's him. He's there, right infront of me, sitting on a bench and looking straight at me, almost expecting to see my face.
But...how?
Not knowing whether or not it's really him, I keep him at gunpoint.
"Oh, now is *this* how you choose to treat an old boyfriend?" he asks in amusment and chuckles, "Hee-chan..." he adds with something more in his voice than humor. "Surprise..." he throws me a cocky grin.
It's him alright. I can tell just from the grin. I can also tell that it's a fake. He's not really feeling the emotions on his face. He's hiding.
Why is he hiding?
I lower my gun. "What are you doing here?" I asked putting the safety on my gun. He's there right in front of me. I've been longing for him and here he is...
But I remain emotionless for two reasons.
One from complete shock and two because I don't know what to do.
He smiles and pats the seat next to me.
"Care to join me?"
~!~!~!~!~
TBC?
~!~!~!~!~
Hm...I don't know what to expect from this one. I just had to get this out to make up for the delay of FKD. So...should this continue? Well, hope you enjoyed!
Warnings: Shonen Ai 2+1+2 (duh), R+?, romance, mild language, OOC, Heero's POV, sensitive and somewhat the bratty Hee-chan we all love, possible constructive Relena bashing (at the beginning)?
Notes: Uh...not much to say here, Heero with Relena and not pleasant, ya know? Enjoy!
~!~!~!~!~
Let Me Go
~!~!~!~!~
Today is Friday. Tomorrow is Saturday. The next is Sunday. And after that comes Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Then comes Friday aga--
I stopped myself, why am I reviewing the days? Days that I've known throughout my life, the seven day week. Oh yes, I remember now, I'm bored.
Bored.
Let's define the word 'bored', shall we? To tire with dullness, repetition, or tediousness.
That's right, and that's exactly what I am right now. It's hard to think that the ex-Perfect Soldier is bored. I never knew there was ever such a thing...until I moved in with Relena. I knew I shouldn't have, so don't give me that lecture. She promised happiness, love, and everything I ever wanted. She did not mention boredom. Honestly, I thought that I could get more action here protecting Miss Peacecraft. Now I see that my grandmother's bones could do a good job keeping her safe...
Assuming that I did at one point have a grandmother...
She doesn't need protection, she needs a life. Making speeches from five to nine and listening to others' ideal world, fantisizing peace for all...she's going on seventeen and she dove right in to politics. Politics were not meant for a silly teenager to fool around with. What does she know? She hasn't been on the face of the world long enough. *I* haven't been on the face of the world long enough. What makes her think that she can step up to the microphone and tell her points of view about how everything should be? She hasn't seen anything. Yet there she is at the pedestal brainwashing forty year old virgins who run the earth and colonies. I almost feel sorry for them all. It's patheic.
I sighed.
I'm so *BORED*. I want to put myself to use. I want to clean up the messy lobby. I want to do *something*. I want to do *anything*. Anything besides sit here with a nice gun and listen to all of Relena's fantasy speeches that is. The anatomy of her speeches are basically trying to say 'Let's not fight' and 'Peace is good'. I find Relena to be a pacifistic hypocrite.
Clapping. I hear clapping. I look down from the shadowy balcony, she is stepping down from the pedestal and leaving.
Thank God.
We all retire to the lobby that I had wished to clean. This is boring too, at least now I can move around.
It's the same thing everyday. Wake up, eat, listen to lectures and speeches, retire to the lobby, sleep. With the exception of Friday, today. She throws a party after their speeches which are still *BORING*! Oh, I did forget one thing though, I also have to go back to school because she hasn't gotten a full education yet. Frankly, I think the people are blind. They let a fifteen year old be Queen of the World, and she hasn't even had a high school education. They expect her to bring peace and protection from evil? She hasn't even studied world geography. 'Miss Relena, Russia is about to be blown into smitherines!' a general would inform, and Relena would reply 'No! We mustn't resort to violence! Send in the Gundams! By the way...where is Russia?' They are all foolish.
Did I mention that she is very obsessive? She chases me to Antarctica then illegally opens my mail and reads it. She comes all that way to read me the letter. Flattering? Try annoying. It was a personal letter, and I don't appreciate her waving it around shouting 'Heeeeeeeero!'. It just doesn't impress me.
I'm so goddamn bored!
I scan the lobby from habit, it's clear; no spies, or terrorist (besides me). However, I do see a rather large cake. A pink cake actually. It must be from Relena.
"Oh, Heero, are you enjoying yourself?" she asks me while she serves her and myself punch. Maybe it's poisoned and she'll die. Or I'll die. Either one of us will do. Doesn't matter.
"Hn." I say which roughly translates in to 'no'.
"I wish you wouldn't speak to me like that, Heero. It's impolite."
I only grunt again to agitate her furthermore.
"You don't remember what today is, do you?"
I cock an eyebrow at her. What is she talking about? "Today is Friday." I reply casually.
She only sighs with a sadden expression, "You've forgotten, haven't you?"
Forgetten what? Today is Friday isn't it? I said it was Friday during her speech.
"I haven't forgotten what day it is." I say.
Her eyes light up and she looks at me expectantly, "Honto ni?"
"Aa."
"Well?"
"...today is Friday." I repeat. It is!
Sadness is written all over her face. "You have forgotten."
She wants me to guess what day it is. It's not an anniversary, I haven't an anniversary to celebrate with her. So then...
"It's my birthday Heero!" she shouts to me, I can feel her breath on my skin.
She needs a breath mint...no, I'm just being rude. I'm imaging bad breath, I'm not meaning to be offensive.
"Hn." So *that* explains the pink cake.
She glares at me, "You're impossible..." she whispers and holds her head in hand as if she's going to cry.
Then a group of politicians approach her and they engage themselves in a heated conversation of showering Relena with compliments. I leave her. She doesn't need me. Asking for my protection is just another one of her ways to get near me. I am her obsession, and I can't stand it. I realize that now. I should have never left. I should have never left him. He warned me what would happen, and he was right. He was always right.
I get the feeling that Relena's getting tired of my non-sociable ways.
Maybe fighting will take place if she's angry with me instead of boredom.
It's funny, when I was with him, he never minded my anti-social personality.
In fact, the way he treated me was with care, he *nurtured* me...that's the word isn't it? Nurtured? Yes, it has to be. I want him to nurture me like he used to...
But he's not here with me now. He can't tell me what's going to happen next, or listen to my breathing, whisper in my ear at night, hold me close...
I mentally kick myself. I left him for her. I can't go back and admitt I was wrong...
Even if I want to.
My heart aches. I miss him. I can't believe that I didn't consider his fore warning.
And I called *him* the baka.
I suppose I'm babbling now. He used to babble, probably still does. Either that, or I've gone insane from the war and belong in an asylum...does it matter anymore? I'm fine. Just fine.
I wish I would stop lying to myself.
Honestly, I'm miserable here. I want to leave, run away.
It's so *BORING*!
I'm so bored here, I think that gouging my eyes out of my head would be more fun than painful.
*THAT* is how bored I am.
I know, it's pitiful.
I always thought I was going to expire during the war. Something honorable to die when you fight...I guess, isn't that what is said? To die fighting for what you believe in?
But I didn't believe what I was fighting in, just not to fail the missions. I assumed that I was the good guy. I think I should have died during the war.
Then I couldn't die of Relena's boredom.
Or maybe I should have never left. I didn't see it then, but my life was much better with *him*.
I find myself switching topics between him and her, as you can see. I need to stop. The more I think of him, the more I long to be by his side, anywhere would do just so long as I'm with him.
I'm doing it again, aren't I?
I sighed.
"Duo......"
I gasp, I can't believe I said that, and I can't believe I miss him that much. I can't believe I have forgiven him just by not being close to him. It's only been a year and six months.
A year and six months...two weeks, five days, ten hours, fifteen minutes, and--
I look down at my watch.
27 seconds...since I last saw him...but seems like forever...
I walk out of the lobby onto the balcony for some fresh air. I begin to think about him again. Why did I leave? I had everything there. Here all I have is an obsessive admirer whose crush is unbearable and a bed to sleep on. There, I had happiness and everything I wanted, even perhaps...love? No! I didn't have love there! At least I don't think...but he always told me...
I pinch myself, "Wake up Heero. You're here now. Stop thinking..." I tell myself, though it's always easier said than done. I just can't seem to make myself forget...
I don't want to.
It took me a year and six months to realize that I feel lonely without him...
I make sure no one is under the balacony. It's clear.
I drop my punch glass and watch it fall.
*crash*
The cup shatters into a million pieces. I smirk and go inside to get another glass or two...or ten, which ever will settle my need of destruction.
*crash*
She says she could make it better.
*crash*
Purify the soldier within.
*crash*
Put my suffering to an end.
*crash*
Give me everything.
*crash*
Even herself.
*crash*
She would help me.
*crash*
...I don't want anything from her.
*crash*
Look what I got for listening to her.
*crash*
Nothing, but BOREDOM!
*CRASH! CRASH! CRASH!*
I throw the rest of the glasses down instead of dropping them. My teeth are clenched and my breathing is heavy.
See, this here is not boring at all. I drop the glasses in different ways predicting the landing of the soon-to-be broken glass. Eheheh...I feel pleasure when I wreck Relena's goods. Actually, that was fun. I lean over the railing to see the mess I've made. All I can say is...
...wow.
That felt good. It appears that the glass expresses what I feel now, I'm shattered, and I am impossible to be put back together again. Well, not impossible, you could always melt the shards and create a new cup, but...who would take such time?
I slide down to the ground and let out a long sigh. I let my head droop down. I was on the verge of getting more glasses, but it would look odd if the guest saw me rush to the table and snatch several drinking vessels, then later they would see the mess. It's no longer a mystery who smashed the expensive crystal. So I don't do it.
In the silence the soft breeze brings a sound to my ears, suspicious rustling in the garden. I smirk a second time and feel the soldier with in come alive. Good, maybe I'll get to shoot something tonight...
Why do I think that?
Because none of the politicians ever enter the garden...
I jump from the balacony and feel the the glass shards crunch below my feet. Fortunately, I decided to wear my thick dress shoes tonight. Though, if I didn't, I would be able to feel physical pain that I haven't felt in over a year...or since this morning when I hit my head on that damned table. Unfortunately, however, I cursed at myself for wearing dress pants, they are unfit for this sort of activity.
Putting on my favorite death glare, I stealthfully creep into the garden, gun in hand. I pin point the target.
"Omae o--"
Then a sense of shock and affright overwhelms my system and my glare melts allowing my eyes to betray all of my emotions. I feel like a lost child now, seeing what I see. I can't believe it.
"D-Duo...?" I stammer.
It's him. He's there, right infront of me, sitting on a bench and looking straight at me, almost expecting to see my face.
But...how?
Not knowing whether or not it's really him, I keep him at gunpoint.
"Oh, now is *this* how you choose to treat an old boyfriend?" he asks in amusment and chuckles, "Hee-chan..." he adds with something more in his voice than humor. "Surprise..." he throws me a cocky grin.
It's him alright. I can tell just from the grin. I can also tell that it's a fake. He's not really feeling the emotions on his face. He's hiding.
Why is he hiding?
I lower my gun. "What are you doing here?" I asked putting the safety on my gun. He's there right in front of me. I've been longing for him and here he is...
But I remain emotionless for two reasons.
One from complete shock and two because I don't know what to do.
He smiles and pats the seat next to me.
"Care to join me?"
~!~!~!~!~
TBC?
~!~!~!~!~
Hm...I don't know what to expect from this one. I just had to get this out to make up for the delay of FKD. So...should this continue? Well, hope you enjoyed!
