Lost in the Smoke
Chapter 6
(Disclaimer in part one)
Buffy was having a dream. It had to be a dream, because he was there. With his bleach blonde hair, cockney grin, and black leather duster all, he was there. He was talking to her. He was holding her. He was actually there. And that's when she woke up; expecting to discover that it was all a cruel dream, expecting to get her heart broke all over again. Then she felt it; the weight of a body pressed against her. She looked down at the arms protectively encircling her waist and the hand at the end at of that arm with black painted fingernails.
She rolled over to face the vampire that was taking up half of her bed. She had known that it was him there before she actually saw any part of him. Giles would call it her slayer sense letting her know that there was a vamp nearby, but Buffy knew better. That part of her had nothing to with it where he was concerned, it was love that she felt; the elastic band that held them both together, connected at all times. He was part of her, now all she had to do was to let him know.
She studied the planes of his face. The line of his high, defined cheekbones became a path for her gaze to follow. The scarred section of eyebrow, that would have marred any other face, was an enigma that only added to his rugged sense of power and hidden strength. His lips intrigued her and reassured her. She knew that anytime she wanted she could capture them with her own because he loved her, her and only her. The lack of wrinkles marking his face reminded her that he had died before he had a chance to get any. He was already dead and could stay with her forever. She gazed up at his blond locks, mussed by sleep, and wondered what they would look like if he didn't bleach them. And for that matter, without a reflection, how did he know when his roots needed to be touched up when he couldn't see them in a mirror.
In a few minutes, two dark pools of cerualen returned her searching glances. A faint smile appeared on his lips when he realized that she had been watching him sleep. He expected her to be embarrassed at being caught, but he surprised her by simply smiling back and looking at him lovingly. He was elated that she had finally looked at him like that. The memory of something he had read once flashed across his mind, we recognized the beginning and ending of love at our embarrassment when we are together. Must be a good thing if she's gotten passed that, he thought to himself.
Even though he was relishing in the present situation, he wanted to talk to her about what happened so he reluctantly broke the silence in the bedroom. "Hey pet."
"Hey." Buffy wanted nothing more than to find out where he had gone to when he left like she made him promise to tell her, but there was something more pressing she needed to tell him. She had let too much time slip away and it took thinking she had lost him to give her this kind of resolve. She leaned up on her elbow so she was looking down at him and could see all of his face. "Before I ask where you were, and it had better be a really good story, there's something I have to tell you."
Spike was a tad worried about the tone in her voice. She only used it when things were very serious or she was delivering bad news. He didn't trust his voice knowing that it would waver and betray his anxiety, so he settled on just nodding for her to go on.
Buffy took a large breath, gathering her composure so she could get through her speech without losing her conviction.
"When I thought that you had gone poof, that I had lost you, I was a mess. Went back into myself. Around everyone else I was just like I had been right after I came back, a shell of the person I was, just functioning on autopilot. I couldn't deal, couldn't cope. But the thing is; as much as I wanted to be that emotionless zombie that I had been, I couldn't. Being with you so much had brought me back more than anything that Willow did with magic, and I couldn't go back. The fire that you had rekindled in me forced me to deal with my feelings and it felt like I was going to be ripped apart because of them. And in this path to being whole again, I realized something; that I didn't know how I was going to make it without you because I love you." Buffy watched his eyes the whole time she talked to gauge his reaction and when it finally sunk in what she had said they glowed like she had never seen them before.
"I love you so much Buffy. You have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say that. I'll tell you about where I went and the hows later, but I think this is the best time to tell you why. I went and got a soul, for you. I wanted to be the kind of man you needed, so I went and earned the return of my soul; no happiness strings attached."
She considered this bit of startlingly information at first wasn't sure she was going to believe it, but then she saw it. She could see the truthfulness behind his eyes and the spark of humanity that he had earned. Buffy answered him not by saying anything, but by covering his lips with hers. It was tender, filled with passion, each exploring the deep corners of the other's mouth and trying to express all of their feeling for each other in that one act.
They broke away and Buffy got a mischievous look on her face. She got out of bed and looked at him. "Come on. We need to get dressed. Dawn needs to know you're okay. She hasn't spoken to me in the two days since I told her about the explosion. She hated me for giving hope that you were alive."
Spike saw the depressed expression that crossed her face. He got up and engulfed her in his arms. "Don't worry luv. She'll be herself again soon as she knows I'm still breathing, well sort of."
Buffy swatted him on the chest and backed out of his embrace. They quickly slipped on their clothes, him in his from the day before and her in a pair of brown jeans and a peasant top. They went down the hall to the door to Dawn's room and Buffy knocked.
"Dawnie. Can I come in? I have some news," Buffy called to her little sister.
"Only if it's good, like that my best friend isn't a big pile of ashes in the cemetery." Outside in the hallway, both Spike and Buffy could barely contain their laughter at the irony in Dawn's response.
Slowly they pushed open the door. Dawn flipped on her bed and asked, "What?" She froze when she saw him standing against the doorframe. If he hadn't hand his arm around Buffy, actually touching her, Dawn would have thought he was a ghost.
"Hey Bit," Spike called out to her.
She quietly sighed his name more than said it before she fainted from shock.
**********
Alright people, here is chapter 6, although I'm not sure that you deserve it. I start getting nice again in my little notes down here at the bottom and the reviews shrink up practically nothing. I mean I appreciate the ones I've gotten, they're invaluable to me, but writer's block is more prevalent when no one writes in. But like I said, I won't hold back chapters just because of that, I want to finish this as much as most of you guys want to read it. Okay, that's enough of a rant. Next part shouldn't take too long to be out. Thanks everybody for reading thus far.
