Title: The Forsworn ~ Depiction (13B)
Author: Sita Seraph
Genre: Angst? Supernatural?
Pairing: Unknown
Rated: R
Archive: Aya and Sonny's Aenai Ai -
Silver Crucifix –
Beyond Forever -
Warning: Suicide, angst, depression
Summary: When love gets out of hand, out of control, and out of mind – where beliefs are lies. This will be Heero's last chance.
Note: Trowa's POV now.
B.
"So you found me," he said. "What are you going to do?
"What are you going to do, Trowa?
"What are you going to tell them, Trowa?
"Tell them the truth?
Laughing. – "You know there is no truth.
"What's wrong, Trowa? It hurts, doesn't it? Oh, it hurts – it hurts like this!
"All of you caused this! This…This is yours. He made it just for you, Trowa. Drown in it."
Maybe the tears represented the past and the future. For they all blended in this one moment; where a devastated clown cried red, the droplets falling from the lifeless skin and onto his white shirt, melting into the strings of worn fabric. He turned away quickly in rejection to the forms before him, another tear spilling free from his bleeding eye and smacking the glass, where the ruby bead stilled in pain, before slowly sinking down the window and leaving an agonized trail behind it. I stared at the colored tear as I lifted shaky fingers to my own eye, feeling the emotions pour forth in one rush. I was suddenly drowned in it and I closed my eyes as the wave covered me completely, submerging myself into the darkness that I loathed and loved at the same time. I heard Quatre's footsteps as he rushed forward to his friend, but in my head, it was someone else. Someone else running up from behind me, quick and lethal, and I couldn't turn around to block the tackle that would take me down. I felt the pierce in my back, the harsh breath speaking right against my ear, as my killer smiled.
"This is for you," he whispered with a smirk.
I opened my eyes, filled with self-loathing and anxiety as I watched those violet orbs twist and close away from Quatre, trying to stop the arms from encircling his trembling flesh. My eyes were dry now but that didn't stop the knowledge from leaking forth and filling my head. Knowing that in those shards of red and white, lying at the bottom of Duo's eyes, there was something lurking there in the pieces and it had now been released to true reality.
And it was my fault. I had stepped into that shattered black hole, opening doors that had been locked and leaving them wide open afterwards to let the demons attack the defenseless soul trapped inside. It had been I who had reached down and broken Heero's chamber, the crushed pieces falling into the hole and destroying the world within.
"When will you stop torturing me?" the boy screamed, throwing the front of his body to the glass, clinging onto the firm material and trying to wiggle away from Quatre's words; slapping away his insistent hands. His lips begged against the glass for this dream to wilt and die like the body he had tried to slay; his fingers trembling as he pressed them to the glass, as if trying to slip them through the strong material and fall straight through the air into the arms of Nature, who would hug his form with the hands of wind before guiding him quickly to the ground that would rush to greet him.
Quatre massaged the trembling shoulders of his lost friend, whispering into his ear to find the reason, the sanity of this broken soul; that the cold window was in fact real; that the breath of his loyal friend was true. I watched Quatre's own hands shake, the emotional exhaustion suddenly taken over him when it hadn't even begun yet. And perhaps it was Duo's own emotional overload that was making him cling onto the American, dizzy with anxiety, fear, and disbelief that wilted off every breath from the longhaired companion. I slowly looked over at Heero who had remained completely silent during this entire time – and I was surprised to see that he was barely breathing, that his eyes had completely glazed over in that hazy, lost look, and he had slumped against the wall near the door. I walked to him without even knowing and as soon as I was within reach, he flung himself at me. I stumbled back in surprise and found my arms automatically around his neck; he did not hold me back. Instead, I felt his face buried into my chest, his eyes blinking dry against the fabric of my shirt. Uncomfortably, embarrassed beyond belief, I took him by his shoulders and tried to push him back.
"Its my fault," he whispered. I froze and glanced down at him slowly. He didn't look up at me but hung his head lowly, with shimmering blue eyes staring at the bright, glistening floor. His hands were defeated at his sides, something heavy placed down on his shoulders, and nearly taking him down to the floor.
"Your fault?" I repeated. "What did you do, Heero?"
"I…I took something from him…" Heero mumbled, ghostly eyes snaking their way across the ground and onto Duo's turned back, Quatre resting his forehead on one shoulder blade with exhaustion weeping out of his eyes. There was painful relief all over Quatre's face…and equally so there was sadness that seemed to be killing him. But there was nothing I could do.
"What did you take?" I asked, slowly turning my head towards Heero. But when I turned back, he was no longer there. Instead he had rushed forward towards Duo, crawling hastily onto the window seat, and ripping the longhaired boy away from the glass. Duo gasped, startled, and instinctively curled his arms towards his body to fight Heero off. Heero was squeezing both of Duo's shoulders, making the lost man wince and his tears flow harder, red streaks like war paint stuck to one side of his face.
"Stop it!" Duo screamed, tossing his scarred face aside and trying to force this dream away by not meeting the face of one of his battle companions.
"I'm sorry, Duo," Heero said, shaking the boy back to look at him, his blue eyes wide with serenity. Duo stared at him, his tears coming to a stop and burying themselves at the bottom of his eyes. Quatre laid rejected to the scene behind them, fingers resting on his lip as a tear slid on top of his upper lip. He wiped the dew away and the remnants soaked into the dry cracks of his mouth, just as a slow red tear from Duo's own eye came into contact with the corner of the American's lips. Heero stared at it before slowly closing the space. I watched with sudden and harsh clarity even if the sun bursting through the window made it hard to see the two figures leaning towards each other. Duo had hooked the fists of his hands into Heero's shirt, either pushing him away or drawing him closer. The only thing I could see in that sad moment was Heero's bushy hair and one of his saddened azure eyes; the rest of him was shadowed like Duo by the intense rays of the shinning yellow streaming through the glass. Their shadows stretched across the floor, stopping to rest at my feet and I stared at them, watching as Heero's shadow adjoined Duo's. I looked up to watch Heero kiss away that ruby droplet, lips barely making contact with that pale, pale flesh. And just as slowly, he pulled away. In that moment, the sun hid away behind a bold cloud and the two men twisted back into reality.
"I'm sorry I didn't see you, Duo," Heero whispered, his eyes caressing Duo's face. Duo's eyes had closed in that moment and still laid shut, his body slowly shaking harder. Heero's hands snaked their way down that trembling form, trying to still the shivers lacing down Duo's nerves. I watched as Duo's eyes slowly peeked open, chest raising and falling heavily and quickly.
Both eyes cried only clear this time.
"You're real…" Duo whispered and he suddenly broke apart right into Heero's hands, who caught the form all too willingly in his arms. I watched Duo bury his head into Heero's shoulder, the broken pieces slowly fitting themselves back into their mangled holes. Some were not perfect; some hung loosely. But those shards lying at the bottom of Duo's eyes were finding their place again, not one being left behind. Dust particles were blown away by Heero's mere breath against the pale neck and strong arms tightening on that thin waist glued all the broken pieces back into their parts.
Duo slowly lifted his head from Heero's strong shoulder and looked at me. At first, I thought he was looking at me. But as I watched, they seemed to grow larger and disbelief seemed to shower slowly on his pale flesh. I stared at him, gradually realizing that he was, in fact, not looking at me at all but at something behind me. Slowly, I turned around.
Chang Wufei filled the doorway.
"I guess I'm running a bit late today," he said to announce his presence.
I whirled around quickly and looked straight at Duo.
I was horrified to see all the pieces lying broken again all over the floor and in Duo's eyes.
Finished: 1-28-03
TBC…
