Disclaimers: I have a dog, but you can't have him.

Warnings: YAOI 2x1, implied 3+4 (don't like, don't read), humor, sap/fluff, Duo in the kitchen, mild language.

Notes: This is how I pictured Duo making French Toast. Enjoy!
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Shinigami's French Toast

Part 1
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AC 196, Friday night:

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"Really...I shouldn't."

"Come on Maxwell, you NEVER do anything."

"Yes I do!"

"Then what?"

"Um..."

"Besides banging Yuy every chance you get."

"Oh. Nevermind then."

"That's what we thought."

"You don't WANT me to."

"Yes, we do."

"Believe me, no. You. Don't."

"We do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't."

"Do."

"Don't!"

"Maxwell dammit! Just do it!"

"Right Duo, you have to do something around here sooner or later. You can't think that we're going to do everything for you. You must take on your own responsibilities."

"I'm telling you for the last time, I'm not gonna cook for you guys!"

"Were not asking for a meal, just French Toast!"

"FINE!"

*SLAM*

Running up the stairs, Duo rolled his eyes as he slammed the door as he entered Heero and his room. His comrades didn't know how bad he was in the kitchen and they were asking him to cook breakfast tomorrow morning. Wufei was complaining that he never helped out around the place that the five of them were staying at, a smaller one of Quatre's many estates waiting for a mission.

Everyone was required a chore to keep their living quaters clean; since no house keepers were available. Somehow Duo had gotten someone else to do his chores for him every time. Whether it was Wufei to mow the lawn, Quatre to clean the pool, Trowa to vaccum, or even Heero, which was pretty surprising once the other boys found out, whom cleaned the toilets.

Thus, Quatre and Trowa tried to compromise with him; Duo would be required to make breakfast in the morning and only wash the dishes after lunch and dinner. Sounds easy enough, ne? Save the fact that...

Duo doesn't cook.

"And they call *ME* a baka!" Duo spat, "I don't even know HOW to make French Toast..."

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"Trowa, do you think he'll actually cook, and not get Heero to?" Quatre asked sitting beside his lover on the couch.

"Ha! He bettern ot! Or he will get his ass kicked and meet the tip of my kantana!" Wufei ranted as he over heard Quatre while coming downstairs to get a drink.

Trowa ignored the Chinese boy's curses and swears. "I don't know, if he does, we have a free meal. If he doesn't, we'll resort to the cereals." Trowa shrugged turning the page of his book.

"I suppose. Should one of us keep an eye on him in the kitchen?"

Trowa shrugged again, "Heero will probably be hovering his shoulder watching him."

"That's right, Heero comes back tonight, doesn't he?"

"Hai."

Quartre sighed. He had a bad feeling about all of this...

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*SLAM*

Duo smiled as he heard the door. 11:30 PM, right on time.

"Hee~chan's home!" the braided boy sang and bounced downstairs.

Heero had just come back from a three-day solo mission. Hot and sweaty, Heero began up the stairs.

"Hee-chan!"

*THUMP*

As the Perfect Soldier was pinned to the ground with an 'oof', he was suddenly showered with kisses, "I missed you SO much!"

"Hi Duo."

"Did you miss me, Heero?"

"Yes Duo, I missed you."

"I was getting worried!"

"Hn."

"So? What's wrong with me caring?"

"Duo, get off."

"Kiss me." Duo ordered, Heero smirked at the braided baka above him and kissed his lips, "Arigato!" Duo pulled his lover and himself off the carpeted floor. "How was the mission?"

"Hn." Heero grunted as Duo and he walked up to their room.

"That bad, huh? I'm sorry." Duo pecked the boy on the cheek, "Ugh, Hee-chan, you reek."

Heero glared, he was aware of that.

"Let's take a bath." Duo suggested. Heero nodded, it was exactly what he needed; a nice hot bath with Duo. Once in the room, Duo went to the bathroom and started up the water. The exhausted dark haired boy plopped down on the bed and closed his eyes. Damn, he was glad to be back.
"Bath's ready!" Duo called. Heero stripped down to nothing and joined the other in the hot tub. Compliments to Quatre for the nice room.

The bubbling water felt good against Heero's skin as well as Duo's caressing. Purring, he was facing Duo in the boy's lap totally relaxed.

"Poor Hee-chan," Duo kissed the boy resting on his chest as well as thighs, "Tired?"

Heero nodded.

"Then I guess you don't want me to tell you what I get to do for everybody tomorrow, ne?"

Heero raised his head and quirked an eyebrow, "What are you going to do for everyone?"

"I'll tell you later, maybe after a nap."

"Duo, I'm not a baby." the boy frowned.

"Right, and I'm not Shinigami. Uh-huh."

"What are you going to do for everyone?"

Duo sighed, "They want me to cook breakfast for them."

A strange sound being held back by the cobalt eyed one escaped his lips.

"Hee-chan...?"

The noise became louder and was distinctively known as a chuckle.

"Why are you chuckling at me?"

"They want YOU," Heero pointed at Duo, "to cook for THEM?"

"Hai."

Heero couldn't help himself, he burst out into a series of giggles.

"You're laughing at me now, are you?" Duo asked in amusement. He smiled down at the boy.

They both knew that Duo couldn't cook worth shit. Heero almost croaked and died from the awful food Duo had once prepared for him. Afterwards, Heero cooked for the two.

When the Japanese boy's giggles had subsided and a mini-water fight, they dried themselves and settled on the bed.

"Duo?" Heero asked rolling over to face Duo.

"Aa?"

"Why are you going to cook breakfast for them?"

"Because Wu complains that I never do anything around here."

"Then you deserve it."

"Nani? You're agreeing with them?"

"Aa, you DON'T do anything. Except for-"

Heero's lips were promptly seized, and his clean clothes were shedded, "I know, I know, Wu-man told me." Duo replied and turned off the lamp.

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"Maxwell!"

Duo stirred.

"Maxwell get up!"

This was the stupidiest dream ever, Duo thought, he was seducing Heero and as Heero moaned he also yelled, 'Maxwell! Maxwell get up!', it was very unlike Heero to do that.

"Maxwell!"

Wait a minute...that wasn't Heero's voice.

"Shut up Chang!"

But that was.

Duo opened his violet orbs and meet with cobalt, "Mornin' Hee-chan." he said groggily in his regular morning voice. Duo kissed Heero's forehead and pulled the covers over their heads.

"What are you doing?" Heero asked.

Duo closed his eyes and croaked, "Going back to sleep, what's it look like?"

"You have to--"

"--stay here with my lover and sleep until noon or so. That's what I have to do." Duo said cutting Heero off.

"Duo..."

"Nani?"

"But you have to make breakfast." Heero reminded.

That's right, he did have to make breakfast. "Are you standing up for them now?"

Heero shook his head, "You're a man, accept your responsibilities."

Duo raised from the bed and went to brush his teeth, "Quatre wanna-be..." he mumbled.

"Duo...!"

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When Duo was dressed, he stumbled downstairs and saw Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei all waiting for him.

"Ohayo." he said. The American casually plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV. Maybe if he acted like he had forgotten, they would screw the whole thing over.

"What are you doing Maxwell?" Wufei asked.

"Watching my Saturday morning cartoons. What else?"

Trowa and Wufei hauled Duo into the kitchen and Quatre dropped a large cookbook in his lap.

"Oof!"

"This should have the recipe. Have fun!" he said and left.

Time for Plan A.

Duo grinned and grabbed the telephone book, "Lessee...breakfast caterers..."

"Maxwell!" Wufei yelled firmly slicing the phone book into two, "What is the meaning of this? Are you THAT low and dishonorable to try to ORDER something so simple that you are to make with your own bare hands???"

Duo thought for a moment, "For this, yes!"

"I will not allow it!" Wufei gathered the dismantled book of yellow pages and disposed of them.

"Damn." Duo cursed, "Let's try Plan B."

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Duo picked up the phone.

RingRing

RingRing

RingRing

RingRi-

"Moshi, moshi?"

"Hilde, babe, friend, pal, buddy, soul sis!" Duo chirped, "How've you been?"

"...what you you want Duo?"

Duo frowned, "Are you sayin'-"

"What do you want Duo?"

"Okay, now you're acting like Heero."

"Is that a bad thing? I thought you were lovers."

"We are...he just doesn't have very good people skills ya know?"

Hilde smiled on the other line, "Yeah, okay, riiiiiiiight. What do you want Duo?"

"...Can you make me some French Toa-"

"Duo get off the phone." an unknown voice ordered Duo.

"..." Duo paused and looked at the phone, since when did Hilde sound like-, "Trowa???"

"Hai Duo, get off the phone."

Duo sighed, "See ya later Hilde. Forget I called."

"Sure, sayonara."

"Ja ne."

Click.

Then Trowa popped his head in the kitchen, "Stay off the telephone Duo."

"Fine, fine. Whatever." Duo replied as Trowa resumed to his earlier activity.

Suddenly Heero walked in. "Well if it isn't my gorgeous Hee-chan." Duo said acknowledging his presence said and thought,

'Time for plan C...'

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Duo walked slowly over to Heero and circled him, "What are you doing here? This could get very dangerous..."

"I was told to watch you while you were in here so you don't do anything stupid like burn your braid off or something..." Heero said eyeing the boy.

"Why would I do something like that?"

"...because you can't cook."

Shinigami ran his index finger under Heero's bottom lip, jawline, and nose (some of Heero's sensitive spots on his pretty face) as he still circled him, "You're so beautiful, you do know that we could be doing OTHER things right now, don't you?"

"Aa..." Heero said trying to keep his cool which was very difficult with Duo around.

"And you do know that I absolutely LOVE you to death, ne?" Duo whispered seductively into Heero's ear.

"Aa..." he replied shakily.

Duo stopped circling the boy. He was behind Heero and kissed the side of his head sliding his hands under Heero's shirt, "And you do know how badly I can't cook..."

Heero melted into his senses forgetting about what his instructions were. All he could think of was Duo. He gasped when the Deathscythe's pilot began to play with his nipple.

"That's right Hee-chan..." Duo licked the side of Heero's face and began sucking on his neck.

"Duo......." Heero moaned as the other boy claimed his lips, "Mmmm..."

"Oh Allah!"

Heero pulled away from Duo remember why he was sent into the kitchen in the first place, "Duo! No sexing the monitor!" Quatre said, "Heero, your mission is to make sure Duo does nothing else but cook! Understood?"

Heero recovered from Duo's temptation, "Ninmu ryokai..." he replied vowing not to let Duo use him to try to escape making breakfast again.

"We trust you Heero."

Heero nodded and sat in a chair not to far from the stove and kitchen appliances.

"Shame on you Duo," Quatre scolded, "I can't believe you would stoop so low!"

"Hn..." Duo grunted stealing Heero's infamous line.

"Don't do it again, alright?" Quatre tossed something to Duo. "Put this on." he said.

It was an apron. A *PINK* apron with lacy sides.

"NANI?! This is ugliest thing that I've ever seen!"

"Put it on."

"No way! Give it to Relena or something!"

"Put it on or I'll tell Hee-"

"Shhhhh!!!"

"Put it on."

Duo rolled his eyes, "Yes, Mother." he said sarcastically to Quatre's retreating back. He looked over at Heero, "What are you laughing at???"

"Ahem...nothing."

Duo glared.

The braided boy, knowing that Heero wouldn't help him, was trapped. He had no other choice but to use the most deadliest of his many plans.

"Plan D."

Duo sighed, he didn't want to resort to this...

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On to part 2?
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Okay, I divided this up into two parts, for once, I uploaded them both at the same time. Hope you enjoy the next if you choose to go on. ^_^ Ja ne!