Disclaimer: All of the characters belong to J.K Rowling

A response to the Wedding Challenge in the AlbusandMinerva-group.

Chapter 2: Gilderoy Lockhart Again

"Albus, what are you doing?" Minerva asked when she arrived Dumbledore's office in a hot afternoon a few weeks later.

"Looking through the guests' list." Dumbledore said and smiled at Minerva as she sat down across his desk. "This is the latest version, can you help me to check if I miss anyone out?" He asked and gave a long piece of parchment to Minerva.

Minerva smiled sweetly. "With pleasure." She studied the list carefully. "Are you planning to invite the students?"

Dumbledore sighed in disappointment. "I love to, but I can't. We even have to married secretly because of that Voldemort. If the Slytherins find out..." He trailed off, knowing that Minerva got the idea.

Minerva nodded gravely and returned to the list. "Let's see..Severus, check. Madeline, check. Poppy, check. Remus, check. Wait, did we set the wedding date on the full moon?"

Dumbledore shook his head. "Of course we didn't, Remus will excused himself if we did."

Minerva looked at the list again. "Georgia, check. Sirius, check. Fudge, check. Hagrid, check...Gilderoy Lockhart, check...WHAT?! GILDEROY LOCKHART? Albus, have you gone mad?!" Minerva shrieked.

"No, I haven't." Dumbledore said calmly. "He used to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher after all. I think it's all right to invite him, since there's no Cornish Pixies or any creatures during the ceremony. He will probably do nothing except for his usual talking. I will ask him to keep his Transfiguration advices to himself if you like. "

"No Albus, it's all right with me if you invite Lockhart, but what about Severus? We all know that Severus can't stand Lockhart." Minerva said, trying to think what Snape would do if Lockhart had gone too far with his bragging in front of him.

"I will try to talk to Severus about that." Dumbledore reassured her gently.

***

"Boy, the weather is like hell today." Sirius said as he dropped down beside Lupin in the staff room. "You're right, Padfoot. It's totally inhuman." Lupin agreed and poured a cool glass of water from a flask.

"Hey Moony, pour one glass for me too, please." Sirius said and put his elbow on his table.

"I can't believe you two are still sticking to your stupid nicknames." Snape sneered.

"Do you know the meaning of "pals", greasehead?" Sirius snapped.

Snape just about to give a nasty response when the staff room door flew open.

"HI!! I AM BACK!!!" A voice sang out loudly.

Snape froze and turned around slowly to see the person standing at the door. "Gil.Gilderoy..Lockhart? What are you doing here?!" He demanded.

Lupin put down the flask and studied the grinning person from head to toe. He has flowing golden locks, brilliant white teeth and was wearing robes in gold and white. Lupin whispered to Sirius, "Who is he?"

Sirius shrugged. "I dunno. But I bet Snape knows. Look at him, he looks as if someone has asked him to be friends with the Marauders."

"What am I doing here?" Lockhart asked back. "Why, Professor Dumbledore is getting married, didn't you know?"

"Of course I know." Snape said in a tight voice.

"He invites me to the ceremony, but I figure out that he might needs my help at some point during the preparations, so...." Lockhart whirled around and made a pose. "Here I am!"

Snape looked totally pale now.

Lockhart walked past the teachers' tables until he reached Snape. "Yes, yes, I know that you miss me and it's big surprise for you that I am back..." He said, putting his hands on Snape's shoulders.

Sirius nudged Lupin and their shoulders shook as they were trying to control their laughter.

Lockhart turned his attention to the two teachers. "Hm, I see new faces. Who are you?"

Sirius stopped laughing and cleared his throat. "Which one of us are you asking, sir? And who are you?" He asked politely. "I am asking both of you. And the name is Gilderoy Lockhart, 5th time winner for the Best Smile in Witch Weekly." Lockhart said proudly and flashed a smile to Sirius.

"Err, right." Sirius said. "I am Sirius, Sirius Black."

Lockhart frowned a little. "Sirius Black? Aren't you that criminal from Azkaban?"

"Yes. But I was framed by someone else." Sirius said uncomfortably, trying not to think of his times in Azkaban.

"Oh." Lockhart said and turned to Lupin. "You?"

Lupin stood up, smiled and held out his hand. "I am Remus Lupin. The Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher."

Lockhart shook his outstretched hand. "I used to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher here too, but the Minister of Magic in America asked me to go the desert in Arizona to deal with a Manticore, then I was needed in Africa to deal with the Blast-Ended Skrewts. Then I went to Borneo to deal with the Acromantula. I am so busy that I have to quit the job." He said and smiled.

Snape snorted. The main reason why Lockhart quitted was because he lost his memory. "Why do he have to remember who he is? He is much quieter if he doesn't remember anything." Snape thought angrily.

"Now, if you need some tips on your lessons, you can ask me any time. Of course you can't hold your questions until the wedding is over. I need to go to Greece immediately after the ceremony to deal with a Chimaera." Lockhart said helpfully.

"Err, thanks." Lupin managed to say.

***

"All right, who's the flower girl?" Minerva asked the female teachers.

"I am." Madam Pomfrey said.

"Who's in charge of the decorations?" Minerva asked again.

"I am." Professor Sprouts answered.

"Who's the maid of honor?" Minerva asked.

"Here." Madam Hooch said, raising her hand.

"And finally, who are the bridesmaids?" Minerva asked. Silent.

"Err, girls? Who are the bridesmaids?" Minerva asked again, looking at the teachers.

"Uh oh." Madam Hooch said slowly.

"We forgot." Madam Pomfrey said quietly. Professor Sprouts had her head low so that Minerva couldn't see her guilty look.

"What? What am I going to do without even a bridesmaid?" Minerva exclaimed.

"Err..." Professor Sprouts said. "How about Professor Trelawney?" She asked.

Minerva glared at her. "And let her says that my marriage will not work out?" She snapped angrily.

"All right, pretend that I didn't say that." Professor Sprouts said quickly.

"Come on, I need at least one bridesmaid!" Minerva said desperately.

The female teachers just stared at each other helplessly.

***

Lupin was in the staff room when Sirius stormed in with steam coming out of his ears.

"Now I know how Snape feels." He said shortly.

"What?" Lupin asked.

"Gilderoy Lockhart, that's what! I just asked him about what did he do when he was teaching in Hogwarts for fun, and he rattled on about killing the Basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets! And I remember clearly Dumbledore told me that it is Harry who killed the Basilisk! With the Sword of Gryffindor!" Sirius yelled, then he took a deep breath.

"Calm down, Sirius." Lupin said gently.

"No, I can't! He even said that Salazar Slytherin lives in the Chamber, oh please! Everyone knows that we are wizards doesn't mean that we can be immortals too! What will James and Lily say if they know that Lockhart has been stealing Harry's credit.." Sirius wondered, thinking of Harry's dead parents. He growled a little. "Good thing that I escaped before I lost my temper. I bet that he didn't do those things that he mentioned to you himself. Got any Sellotape?" Sirius asked.

Lupin opened his drawer and took out a thin band of Sellotape. Sirius shook his head. "I want a bigger one."

Lupin took out another bigger band and Sirius shook his head again. Lupin sighed in frustration and took out a band which was much more bigger than the two bands of Sellotape. Sirius grinned and took it. "This should be big enough."

"What do you want to use it for?" Lupin asked.

Sirius grinned again mischievously and stuffed the tape into his robes. "To tape Lockhart's big mouth if he starts bragging again."