TITLE: "Normal again" (5/?)

AUTHOR: Richard Bachman

EMAIL: bachman_rchard@hotmail.com

SITE: nope

FEEDBACK: Give it to me luv, you know you want more of this!

DISTRIBUTION: Do whatever you like poodle. As long as Richard is mentioned I'm fine.

RATING: NC-17 Humor/angst

PAIRING: B/S

SUMMARY: Got this wonderful idea after watching normal again. Instead of Buffy, Spike gets a dose of demonic goodness inserted into his system. As his consciousness is transported to an AU where he finds Sunnydale is no longer the good old Sunnyhell he despises and knows so well, things are getting a bit surreal for the poor bleached wonder.

WARNING: This fic describes scenes of rape, and is dark and angsty but I suppose that we kinda got used to it after watching whole bleedin S6.

THANKS: To anyone for reading my senseless dribble. Love you guys. You truly make wasting my weekends worthwhile!

SPECIAL THANKS: To my sweet betareader Olga. You've done a wonderful job, I almost start to sound like a real English gentleman here!

CHARACTERS: Spike and Dawn interaction (not for very long anymore, though), we experience some Buffy guilt and Xander's weird sense of humour, and AU Buffy is struggling with a conscious William.

NOTE: To the very conscious BtVS watchers, I know that NA did take place in the middle of winter in the Buffy universe, but I'm suffering from a nasty cold here (running nose as we speak) and with the pretty weather in May it's hard to return to the dull and greyness of winter. So there, this fic takes place in May because I can make it happen!



ACT 5: Getting unconscious with your eyes wide open freaks people out and tends to dry out your eyeballs.



SCENE 1

"Oh bugger this. This is really getting daft. Timmy fell down the well again? Doesn't the kid ever learn not to wander around in the middle of the night without even so much as a flashlight?"

Hanging out leisurely on the Summers' family sofa, I nested myself under the warm and comfortable electrical blanket, Buffy's blanket that the lil'bit took clean from her bed, and munched on a handful of Weetabix in my mouth. Never mind the crumbs.

"This program had gone down the toilet ever since they switched producers. Could have shoved a typewriter in the hands of a Fearall demon with the intellect of a glass of tap water and still gotten a better screenplay written than this crap."

"Hmm, maybe this time they are getting smarter and they will leave him down there. You know, put a heavy steel lid on the well. Seal it off with some black tape."

I turned my head and gazed at lil' bit who was sitting next to me, also in a traditional Slayer annoying position with her shoes resting on the antique coffee table, and clearing out the breakfast cocoa cereals right out of the box.

"Oh, sure, throw in a couple of flesh eating bugs, close the lid and seal it off. Brilliant. Put up a big flashy sign on top saying: "Contains dangerous little twat, big hazard to himself and to his direct environment within a half a mile radius. Do not open until next century or until subject proven clinically dead."

Dawn looked at me and burst into a healthy laughing fit. It did me good to see her smile like that again. She had been dead worried ever since I came back from my quick trip down to the psycho version of the Never Never land.

"You teenagers are so cruel." I added, acting like I was deeply offended or something, and got a handful of sticky cereal thrown into my face as a response.

We watched a bit more bad telly, then switched over to UPN and caught an episode of Dilbert. Never though that white-collar work floor humour could be funny, but I must say that lil'bit knew how to pick her entertainment. For a short twenty minutes I forgot all about the mess of being deadly poisoned and having those grotesque out of this world hallucinations. I just kicked back my feet and enjoyed the show. By the time the late news was on, I was feeling a grand bit less grave about my unlife-threatening troubles.

Till Nibblet started reminding me of them again, that was.

"Spike, um, can you please tell me now what happened to you earlier?"

I kept zapping from channel to channel absentmindedly, keeping my eyes fixed on the TV screen.

"Spike?"

"Why do you want to know Nibblet?"

"I dunno. You just seemed so hurt." She paused. "I don't want anything bad to happen to you, that's all."

I leaned back against the soft cushions with the peachy I-love-sushi print (once again nicked from the Slayer) and tossed the remote between my legs. On the telly, Bob Barker was about to give away a whole hand painted china tea set, but it is difficult to concentrate on the daft show when you're busy ignoring someone you actually care for.

"Look Dawn, I don't think you have to wor-"

"You weren't here when you acted like that. I know it sounds totally weird but it was like you didn't know that you were in the living room anymore. You didn't even notice me standing there. You seemed to be someplace else."

I turned my head and studied her intensely. Sometimes I wondered if there was still some trace of mystical power left in the ex-key to the universe, forced into this frail human form of a teenage girl. She did seem to notice things far easier then the uptight Scoobs.

"So, what kind of place were you in?"

I swallowed hard, and averted my eyes from her.

"Spike?"

"I think I was having hallucinations. Probably tripping on the stuff the demon japed me with. But God, it felt so real." I paused, staring back at her, not sure how to explain it all.

"I was locked up in some kind of loony-bin. White walls, barred windows, anxious atmosphere, the whole bleedin package. They manhandled me a lot so I suppose I was a patient. There were people there, doctors and nurses. And…somehow, they turned out to be real people. People I knew. Come to think of it, it was more like a bloody reunion."

"Who was there?"

I buried my face in my hands, rubbing my temples.

"They, um, …"

Brilliant Spike. You're gonna tell her now about your twisted versions of Buffy Nightingale, Doctor von Giles and your Big Bro Angel?

"Was Buffy there?"

I looked up at her, again, surprised.

"Every time you came back you had her name at the tip of your tongue. It was an easy guess."

"Oh. Well then, yes, she was."

"Was I there?"

"Why are you ask -, no Nibblet you weren't."

"Then, how come Buffy was?"

"What?!" I could have literally been knocked backwards by stupid amazement after hearing her odd question. Well at least I would have if it weren't for the fact that I got myself nicely tucked in under the Slayer's borrowed stuff.

"Dawn, I don't know what the hell you're thinking, but this isn't a bleedin popularity contest! It's a hallucination, a delusion composed of little figments of my twisted imagination. Honest Nibblet, you don't even want to be part of it. I certainly don't want you to be."

She gazed back at me, obviously busy musing with her unreasonable teenage mind if she should still get pissed off about this one. I held my breath even though I didn't need to breathe. Dawn's high-pitched wrath would be a bit too much for me to bear right now.

"Was it a nice place, with Buffy? I mean, do you want to go back?"

I sighed. Turned out she wasn't going to be mad at me at all. She was only worried that I might leave again.

"No, it was bloody awful." I answered truthfully. "And I was really glad that you were here as soon as I got back."

She smiled happily, and before I knew it, she had her arms draped around me and was hugging me for all that was worth. I winced a bit when she threatened to make me bleed again.

"Careful, still shifting organs in there."

"Oh, Sorry!" And as fast as her hands were on me, they were gone.

"So um, you will be staying here with me?"

"I wish I could make everything happen the way I wanted, Nibblet. But as sad history has proven by kicking my ass numerous times, it's not that simple. I think I will need some help to be able to stay away from that place."

"I can help you! I won't let you go back there! No more walking away to get unhealthy snacks or sugar rushes. From now on, I'll keep a constant eye on you and make sure you are all right till the others are back with the antidote."

I watched her naïve but so very eager display of enthusiasm to keep me safe. So at least someone in this soddin bleedin reality was giving a damn about this disgusting soulless thing. Dawn genuinely cared. There was no guilt or selfishness that moved her to do all this. Though it was hard to even admit it to myself, it did me good. Perhaps even an evil badass vampire needed some care and affection. At least the Slayer's little sister wanted and needed me.

"Just don't let me doze off again, and I promise that I'll be fine."

Nibblet gave me a huge confident grin.

"No problem! I have a big collection of videos that we can watch together tonight. It will be like a slumber party, only without the slumbering or the wacky pyjamas. Let's see, have you seen Attack of the Clones yet? My friend got it downloaded from the net and has put it on tape for me. It's really good."

I returned her warm smile, although I really thought that the whole bleedin Star Wars trilogy was a badly composed piece of commercial crap made up by a clever rich git to shake the money out of the pockets of little kids and sad middle-aged wankers daft enough to buy it all, I was ready to face two and a half hours of full dread to make my little protector happy.

"Sure. Pop it right in, we'll give it a try."



SCENE 2

Mist, midnight and a full moon. The warmth of summer seemed distant and far away, though it was the mid of May. Strolling along the empty streets, the three core Scoobies were heading for the alley where Buffy had butchered the glarghk guhl kashma'nik.

"So let me rephrase our plans again. We're going down the wrong side of town to interrupt some demons during their fancy dinner party to rescue certain parts of a dead demon's anatomy to save another almost dead demon's ass?"

Xander, who had popped by the Summers' residence in the hope to find some much-needed comfort for his Anya-heartache from his best friends, had been surprised to find both of them very occupied already with attending a badly injured Spike. Although Willow and Buffy were indeed very happy to see him again, the centre of their attention had been diverted to the vampire, which Xander thought was a bit exaggerated. The Big Evil Bleached One had his ass kicked numerous of times. Petty physical injuries wouldn't stop the cocky vampire from staying away from the people he cared for, and though it was, of course, a bit childish of him, he was starting to feel just the tiniest hint of jealousy sticking up its green head above the tall grass of reason.

"Do we really need to get the antidote for him? Spike is vampire, don't they have a natural immune system to other evil things?"

"Xander," Willow reasoned, "You're mistaking Spike for a weird species of Australian spider. He's really in danger here with the demon's nasty toxin rushing through his system. Let's not make fun of this serious situation here, OK?"

"All that I was saying was that perhaps we should have thought about whether this heroic action of ours is really necessary or not. That's all, not trying to joke on an undead demon's expense here."

Buffy, who had been growingly annoyed with the constant nagging of her friend, but had saved her breath so far to correct him on his immature behaviour, spun around and addressed him, agitated.

"Look Xander, if you don't want to come with us, then go back and stay with Dawn, will you?"

"I can't leave you and Willow to go down that demon infested alley alone. What if there are more of these stabbing nasties around?"

"Then stop complaining and start helping us. "

"I can't believe you're actually concerned about Spike. I'm telling you, he'll be all right, Spike can take care of himself. He has the annoying habit to heal pretty fast, may be already up and running, hanging in front of the TV and clearing out your kitchen cupboards as we speak."

"Guys, this is not the time to argue about this." Willow tried.

"Tell me Xander, how am I supposed to react? Spike is injured because of me, and he may or may not be in life-threatening danger, but he's a part of the team now, after all that has happened. And as a team, we help each other out. You'd do the same if it was Willow or me."

Xander averted his stare from the Slayer's. Her call for his solid conscience did the trick and a good portion of guilt swept the floor with the green little man of jealousy. Buffy had a point. Spike was completely trashed and needed all the help he could get from the people who came closest to being considered his friends.

" OK, I suppose he did some good once and a while to justify our exertions here, but he better be still lying unconscious and bleeding when we get back. I'm not endangering my life for him if he's not even in somekind of serious danger."

Buffy rolled her eyes and turned away.

"Guys! I think we found the alley." Willow yelled, and shone her flashlight in the direction of the trashed car that Buffy had jumped off and on to fight off the demon. As the light bundle travelled across the trashcans and junk littered alley, dark, ugly looking creatures scuttled away like overgrown rats, making high-pitched screeching noises that gave the witch the wiggins.

Buffy walked up to Willow and grabbed a small blade that she had hidden in her jeans pocket.

"OK guys, stay behind me. I think I'll have to clean out this place before we can even start looking."

Just after she said that, a big, hairy creature with no eyes but a mouth full of razor sharp teeth attacked her from the side and knocked her down. It sat on top of her and pushed its horrifying face down, ready to dig in its fresh meal.

"Eew, ever heard of freshmints?"

The creature shrieked, blowing his sewer breath into her direction.

The Slayer gasped for some much needed fresh air.

"Guess not."

Buffy tried to turn away from the enormous mouth, then remembered her knife and stabbed the creature right in its back. It squealed and wriggled in pain, Buffy stabbed it again and the creature let go of her, jerking intensively with its stubby limps.

"Buffy, watch out!" Xander shouted.

She spun around and faced another eyeless rat creature, ready to strike out at her.

"Have you two had the same dish this evening? B'cause if you have, I'm sorry, but I'm not even gonna give you the chance to come near me."

She threw the knife; the sharp blade penetrated the creature's soft belly, and as it let out a terrifying shriek, a thick black fluid exploded out of the wound and covered Buffy's coat.

"Hey! I just had this steam cleaned!"

Buffy did a high jump kick and sent the dying creature flying against the wall. Then she spun around, looking for the next demon to challenge her slaying abilities. She was happy to find that most of the flock of mutated rodents had chosen to leg it in the meantime, after watching their comrades fall like dead leaves. The alley was now, except for the three friends and some scattered demon remains, totally deserted.

"Whoa, those creepy crawlers were nasty. Buffy, are you all right?"

Xander, who had been knocking on a couple of reluctant to flee outgrown rats with a rusty pipe, was helping Willow up.

"I'm fine, don't smell so good anymore, though." She wrinkled her nose as she caught the scent of the black gluey stuff that covered her. "Ew, it's like I've been working shifts in the sewer or something. Are you OK Will?"

"Oh yes. I'm OK. Just a bit shaken by the sudden grossness of it all. A couple of those marched all over me in their blind panic to get out of here."

The witch eyed warily at the still shrieking and wriggling creature in the corner, which was now bathing in a big pool of black liquid.

"Yes. It's a shame that most of these guys don't go poof like vampires. It's far easier to brush vamp dust out of your clothes. I'm not really sure what to do with this now." Buffy looked down at her outfit and frowned. "Guess I'll have to burn it."

"Well, you can't really blame them for being totally disgusting, guess feeding on a constant diet of dead demon corpses tends to shift the balance of your digestive system into the wrong direction. " Xander joked.

"Speaking of dead demon corpses, where is the glarghk guhl kashma'nik?" Willow asked.

Buffy frowned again and looked around. She remembered to have seen the demon hit the ground near the wrecked car, but there was no sign of it left except for a faint trace of black icky fluid that seemed to disappear right under the vehicle. The little scavengers must have dragged it away to have a nibble on it in a more private atmosphere. Buffy kneeled down and took a look under the car, but it was too dark to see anything.

"Here, this might help."

Willow handed her the flashlight, Buffy took it and lit up the dark space. There, lying near the left front wheel, were the amputated remains of what once was the kashma'nik's arm. Even with the faint light she could clearly distinguish a pale bone sticking through the red oozing flesh. It was as if a couple of rather big dogs had their way with it.

" Geez, I don't think I can still use that one Buffy." Willow said hesitatingly. "The antidote is carried in a separate compartment next to the toxin in the demon's arms, but I think those happy nibblers kinda munched everything up here. Let's start looking for the other one."

Buffy nodded silently; a worried expression appeared on her face as she suddenly realized that their chances to succeed had suddenly been cut down by half. The three of them started looking for the essential body part. Xander stumbled over the demon's head, while Willow found some pieces what could have been the demon's upper arm, or leg, she wasn't sure. However, the lower part carrying the antidote was still missing, and after a full hour of futile search, Xander and Willow pretty much gave up on it. Buffy however, still kept looking frantically.

"Uh, Buff, "Xander tried.

"I don't understand. It must still be here somewhere. Those greedy little rats couldn't have eaten both arms. What are the chances of that happening?"

"Well, you kinda admit it to yourself that they were greedy. I think we have to face the facts here. The second arm is probably travelling through the digestive system of one of those Mother Nature's little helpers right now."

"Xander, can't you just stop with your stupid jokes for a moment here? This is serious. Spike is in danger. If we don't find the arm, then we can't get the antidote for him, and he may never wake up again!" Buffy yelled, her face displaying frenetic despair.

"Say Buff, you are our Buffy, aren't you? Cause I'd swear that I just heard the Buffy bot speaking here," answered a surprised and offended Xander.

"Buffy, Xander is right. The odds of finding it are kinda small here."

"B-But we still have to try. What if Spike's body is not able to deal with the poison and he stays like this for the rest of his unlife."

"Yes, I gotta admit it to you that that is pretty long since vampires tend to be immortal and all, but there is no use in staying here and looking for it Buff. The arms are gone. If you want to save Spike, we have to think of another plan." Xander opted. "I mean, hell, there must be more of these stabby green Crinton guys around. We can be hardly talking about an endangered species here. They are demons, not cuddly giant pandas."

"Actually, there might be a problem with the species' availability." Willow said and gazed at Buffy tensely. "The glarghk guhl kashma'niks are pretty much a scarce type of demon."

Buffy cocked her head, raising a worried eyebrow.

"How scarce?"

"Well, exactly the giant panda type of scarce. The watcher's journals report that they have not been seen since the last century."

Buffy's face suddenly turned very pale.

"In fact, that you were lucky enough to bump into one tonight in this back street alley is almost every watcher's wet dream. You know, kinda like Dian Fossey encountering her gorillas, but then in the New York Sub instead of the misty mountains of Zaire."

"B-But what are going to do now? This glark-kul -what-me-nick can be the very last of his kind. How are we ever going to get the antidote if there is no more left of these creeps to kill?"

"Um, maybe we should return to the Magic Box and dig through the books a second time? There has be a reason why this rare demon appeared here in Sunnydale. I know it could be that it has something to do with our good old Hellmouth, but I doubt it. This type of demon is not attracted to the crowds. There is definitely something fishy here."

"The nerds!" Buffy said. "I've been looking for them when I was suddenly attacked by this World Wild Fund candidate."

"Then they must have summoned it by magic." Willow frowned. "There is no way they could have asked one to help them out, even if they had asked it nicely."

"But then this means that there's still hope, right? Willow, you can go find a demon summoning spell and call a second kul-me-nick to Sunnydale, and I can do my part, which is the slaying."

"I guess I could do that, but…um…"

"What?" The Slayer inquired impatiently.

"Buffy, Willow can't perform the spell." Xander answered for the witch, rather agitatedly. "You can't expect her to risk falling back into her addiction just because you are so eager to save your favourite pet vamp here." He was getting pretty angry with his best friend for being so reckless. What was she thinking, Spike might be a part of the gang now, but his unlife was in no way more important than Willow's well being. Xander was starting to think that Buffy was letting her guilt for what had happened to Captain Peroxide take over her reason.

Buffy stared back at both of her friends, suddenly realizing what she had said to the witch and starting to feel guilty. How could she be so careless when it came to her friend's feelings?

"Oh, I um, I'm sorry Will, I don't know what came over me to ask that from you. I 'm really sorry."

"It's all right Buffy. You're just a tad anxious because of what happened to Spike." Willow said, trying to comfort the Slayer. "But Xander is right, I can't help you out with summoning the demon myself. I'm afraid I will be back knee deep in magic before I even lay my hands on a spell book. But I do know someone who's able to help."

Buffy looked up determinedly at the red-haired witch; there was a hint of nervousness in her green eyes as she mentioned the specific person who might be able to offer magical assistance, and the Slayer knew enough.

"Let's go find Tara." Buffy decided.



SCENE 3

Loud TV noises filled the Summers' family living room, where the result of a whole night activity of a lazy vampire and a unscrupulous teenager started to show in empty cereal boxes and empty soft drink bottles, littered all over the floor, not to mention the crunchy blanket of spilled crumbs. Spike was still tucked in comfortably under Buffy's colourful bed linen, his hands placed behind his blond head and his feet resting on the now cleaned up coffee table. His eyes were open, staring at the TV screen on which the battle against the Dark side was fought by a young cocky Dart Vader and a hairy Obi Wan. Dawn was sitting next to the vampire, her eyes were starting to close and her head shifted slowly sideward till it bumped up to her undead friend's shoulders, making her jump right up again, half awake.

"Whoa! I'm not sleeping! I'm up!"

Dawn rubbed the sand out of her sleepy eyes and pinched her nose bridge. Geez, staying up all night was not as fun as she had originally thought. No wonder

all the grownups still tend to go to bed, even when there are no bossy sisters around to make them. She worriedly turned to the vampire, who was lying motionless next to her, still fully awake and apparently fully absorbed by the movie. Dawn let out a little sigh of relief.

"Sorry. Guess I'm not that used to this whole staying up late thing. Did I miss anything?"

She glared at Spike, but the vampire didn't answer her.

"Spike? Hello? Dawn speaking here, do you read me?"

Still no reaction.

The ex-key shifted from her seat, and leaned over to her vampire friend, who was still staring at the screen blankly. Dawn hesitatingly moved her hand in front of his eyes, expecting him to react to her, but not even getting so much as a blink out of him.

"Spike!? Spike!"

She grabbed the now obviously unconscious vampire by his shoulders and shook him hysterically, making his head nod like an epileptic string puppet.

"Spike! Wake up! Please! You promised me you wouldn't go back there! You promised!"

Dawn was getting close to desperate tears. She lost him. Again.

"Spike! You crazy vampire! How on earth could you watch Star Wars and fall asleep with your eyes wide open?"



SCENE 4

Oh God, please don't tell me that I am where I think I am.

I blinked my eyes, it bleedin hurts. Like someone was poking a couple of needles in them. It cleared my vision though. The blurriness receded a bit and I was able to take in my surroundings. I glanced around worriedly, hoping somehow that my senses were messed up and I was still lying stretched out on the comfy sofa next to Dawn.

White walls all around, white floor at my feet, white ceiling above my head.

Buffy Nightingale just kneeling in front of me.

Bugger.

I tried to jump up out of my huddled position, but found myself pretty much unable to even move so much as a finger. Panting out of full dread, I saw the Slayer's face hover in front of me like a bleedin hallucination, which was really confusing since I could swear that I already was in one.

"William? William! Are you awake?"

I ignored her and turned my head, looking for a hole or something to crawl away in. Just somewhere nice and dark to hide in for a while till the awful spinning of my head stopped. But Slayer would not be ignored, and forced my swaying head back to face hers.

"William, are you feeling all right?"

"Not quite so. Nauseous. Really, really nauseous."

"Oh, that must be the anti narcotic kicking in. Don't panic, should be over in a couple of hours."

"C-couple of h-hours?" Sweat was starting to trickle down my back and gush down my temples while the whole soddin room continued to dance the bleedin cha cha cha. "You mean, I've to feel like this for two more bloody hours?"

"Um, I suggest you give me a sign if you want to throw up or anything. And keep your head still, looking around tends to make things worse."

I wanted to close my eyes before they would drop out of my skull, but once again, the Slayer objected to my actions.

"Oh no! Don't do that! Stay awake William! It took me three doses of Butanal to wake you up, and I'm not going to just sit here and watch you doze off again. You have to sit the nausea out without dropping unconscious."

Her hand reached out and pinched me in my arm.

"Oww. Sod off."

"Just checking, now open your eyes and keep talking to me, or watch me turn your arms purple."

I sighed and opened my eyes, treating her on a very nasty look.

"Good, now hold still and keep your head back."

She put a cool hand on my forehead, forcing me gently to look up at the ceiling. I blinked feverishly b'cause my eyes were now really starting to hurt like hell.

"This should help." She said and just as I was wondering what on bleedin earth the bint was doing, drops of clear liquid dripped on my tormented eyes, clearing the painful prickling sensation and finally restoring my vision fully.

"Now just relax." She pushed me back gently and my back hit a soft padded wall. "Don't try to move too much. The toilet is all the way down the hall. I doubt we can ever make it in time if you decide that you need to barf urgently."

I nodded a bit, which was enough to send my head spinning again. Keeping my eyes on this unusual version of the Slayer I couldn't help but wonder why she was even here, taking care of me. But then I remembered. If my messed up mind was recollecting things correctly, this was all a bleedin delusion. Something that that nasty demon juice had done to my brain to make it think, and to make it experience all this as being real. The real Buffy would never be this considered and patient with me. To her, disgusting evil things like me don't need care or affection. They can take care of themselves.

The thought kept running through my head while she came to sit down next to me and placed her cool hand on my burning cheeks. Her touch was tender and soft, so very different from the handling I had experienced by her before, the raw and lustful embraces as she draped her arms and legs around my surrendered body and made it hurt in all the right places. She ran her hands trough my hair and gently pushed my head on her shoulder, still comforting me as though she cared. As she moved her slender neck, I could pick up her familiar scent, warm and sweet, like late summer's strawberries.

"It's OK William. It can all be a little confusing right now, but things are going to be all right. I promise."

"Why do you even care?"

Buffy Nightingale turned her head to me, puzzled.

"What do you mean by that?"

I swallowed hard and blinked my eyes.

"I mean just that, why do you care if I'm all right or not."

"I have to care, you're my patient. You've been my patient ever since I took this job, and that's almost as long as you've been here."

I mentally slapped myself for even having the nerve to feel disappointed. So even the made up version of the Slayer wasn't really interested in your undead corpse, so what? You're going to hallucinate some imaginative heartache to go with that now?

"Look, you don't have to stay here to watch over me. I can take care of myself."

I yanked my head up a bit too reckless from her supporting shoulder, and got treated on a scabby headtrip that made me wanna heave. I lurched forward, gasping for air. God, what I wouldn't give to be able to just lie down for a sec to get rid of this soddin feeling of my brains being spun around on a rotating presentation plate.

"William? Are you all right?"

Again a very daft question, indeed.

"Put your head between your legs. That may help."

I was hardly able to find my own legs, let alone stir my head between them, but the Super Nurse! Slayer came to my rescue once again and pushed my head down. First I found it even more difficult to breathe in my new position, but soon the dreadful feeling receded from my skull, and my frantic panting was slowly replaced by a slower pace.

"Better now?"

I nodded with my head still buried between my legs. She helped me up slowly, careful not to get me gippy again. I wondered how long two bleedin hours could take in this fucked up reality.

"Told you not to move around too much." She said matter-of-factly. "Now lie still if you don't want to feel like your skull is going to explode again."

I did just that, leaning back at the padded wall (oh bloody lucky me, even Dru didn't get this far) and breathed in slowly. Then I gazed up at her, and noticed that there was something in the look that she gave me that I somehow recognized from that other reality, which seemed now very far away inside this comfy furnished madhouse, galaxies and Star Wars light years away, as a matter of fact. I frowned. Where the bleedin hell did I get that from?

"So." I said, trying to get this weird expression off her face. "Tell me, what are you going to do with me, your patient here. Aren't you going to start poking in my head, see how far you'll get to convince me that I'm not a vampire?"

Buffy looked at me with her unfairly large and bloody innocent eyes. I had mused about it numerous of times, and I was starting to think that it was that bewitching look of hers that had prevented me from killing her when I still hadn't got that bleedin chip in my head. Never mind the fact that she could kick my ass even before I was chipped.

"I'm not here to make things difficult for you William, but you have to understand that you've been very ill. Believe me, I know that b'cause I've watched over you when you were still in that catatonic state and I was the first to be by your side when you returned to us. Now that things are finally looking up, I'm really not going to turn my back and walk away on you. Perhaps I should have said it differently, but I do care about you. Not only because I have to, but also because I've known you for so long."

She averted her eyes for a moment, almost as if she was too embarrassed to admit it.

"I guess you have kinda grown on me. Which is silly of course, with you being unconscious all the while, but hey. It's not like I've been dealing with a lot of cute conscious guys either. Working here as a psychiatrist kinda absorbs all of your free time."

I wanted to say something, but my mouth was already half open with bloody astonishment. Did I really hear her say that she cared about me? An - And did she admit that I was cute?

Suddenly, this other reality thing wasn't looking that gloom anymore.

And then it struck me.

I finally recognized the strange expression on Buffy's face. It was something I had seen before on her lil' sis's face, and she herself had frequently expressed it for the sake of her family, her friends, but never for this lovesick evil vampire, until now.

She was genuinely worried about me.

Which meant she finally cared.



TBC